Balls Magazine Volume 18

As you may remember, I was scheduled to play a tournament using only four clubs. I sought advice from the DFO Commentists and settled on the following four clubs:

• 5 Wood
• 7 Iron
• Pitching Wedge
• Putter

I ended up shooting an even 100!

This was a satisfyingly good result! As you know, my goal has been to break 100. Since I’ve already done that, the goal now is to shoot in the 90s consistently. I’m getting there!

I really enjoyed the challenge of using only four clubs. Having gone through it, I’ve some conclusions:

• Sometimes it’s better to take away choices. Being limited to only four clubs, I had to make strategic decisions to set myself up for the next shot. That’s an advanced way of playing golf.
• I have found it is better to play golf without overthinking. You can translate that as “it is better to play golf while drinking alcohol”. Seriously, the golf club lube was doing good work.
• You can play good golf without hitting the ball really far.
• Smooth is Fast. Slow is Good. A smooth and controlled swing will hit the ball straighter and farther than trying to kill it. That’s a huge lesson.

The round did not count towards my handicap as we rotated through the tees. We started on White, then went to Blue and then Red. The handicap for the competition was based on the White tees, but it was not “official”.

The round started really well as I got a Bogey 5 on the Par 4 first. I actually got a 5 on the first five holes!

The Abominable Snowman appeared in the Par 5 sixth followed by a terrible 6 on the Par 3 eight. Despite that, I scored an even 50 on the front nine.

Not too shabby.

The Back Nine is where I usually play best. After four holes, I was behind my pace, but I got a legitimate par on the Par 3 14th. I had a ten foot putt for birdie and missed it by four inches. Brett Favre would have been jealous.

That got me back on track. The Snowman reappeared on the 15th but I managed a couple of bogeys on the difficult 16th and 18th and I finished with another 50.

I am keeping track of stats for all my rounds and the ones for this round were particularly good. I hit the fairway on 10 out of 12 driving holes and my average number of putts per hole was 1.94.

There a couple of other noteworthy things to mention.

The foursome I played in was…interesting.

One guy I could tell was a good player but had two disaster holes to start the round. Over the course of the round, he improved thanks in no small part to the large number of beers he consumed. He gave me a bunch too.

We became good friends.

The player he was riding with was once a good player but had had a stroke in January. The fact he was out playing golf in July was amazing in and of itself. He had a frustrating round but he had a great sense of humour and he was great to play with.

Our fourth player was a very elderly gentleman that moved in slow motion. And when I say slow motion, I mean it took a full 30 seconds for him to get the ball out of the hole when he sank a putt.

He swung like this:

He also tended to improve his lie:

I swear that the movie Caddyshack is based on real life.

We finished an hour and a half behind the group in front of us. When we arrived at the clubhouse, the tournament organizer offered to buy me a drink for being put in the elderly gentleman’s group.

Maybe next time. My newfound drinking buddy already had gotten me a rocks glass full of vodka, some ice, and a solitary olive that was present only so one could pretend it was a martini. Luckily, they were giving burgers away and my buddy had thought ahead and at the turn (after the 9th hole) had asked the chef to reserve some free burgers for our group since we would be done after the free burger giveaway was over. I’m pretty sure that helped to soak up all the alcohol.

PROS

I am learning more every time I play. This was a great lesson on how course management and solid striking beats brute force.

I got a 100!

I drank more in one morning than I have in at least two months and I did not get a hangover the next day.

CONS

The round did not count towards my handicap.

I am out of drinking shape. I am old.

OVERALL RATING:

I am improving and feeling more comfortable shooting lower scores, if that makes any sense. My new drinking/golfing buddy thinks I can be in the B Flight by the end of the year.

Rikki asked in the back room: How does one deal with playing with people of different skill levels? I have to say that everyone in the club is better than me and everyone has been very gracious. They understand I’m trying to improve and they encourage me. I picked a good club!

This was my first time playing with someone less skilled than me at the club. I’ll say that it takes patience and an understanding that we are all out there to have fun. The fact he can get out there and play is to be celebrated. It’s much better than the alternative.

I have to be honest too. A sense of humour and a large volume of alcohol help a lot.

And now, Rikki will now present the next exciting chapter in the golf cart girl story!

See you next time.

UPDATE: Apparently, I got a prize for being Closest to the Pin on the 14th hole! If you remember, that’s the one where I had a ten foot putt for birdie. In addition, my net score was good enough to place in the winnings! I walk away from this tournament with 75 points towards the club championship and $55 to my name. Hooray!