November Delight – JV NFL and Lesser Footy Extravaganza

Nut cuttin’ time is here, y’all.  Also, I apologize in advance for next week’s stupid international break.  Don’t forget to wave at the Clubhouse degenerates who have assembled in Las Vegas!

Mighty Whitey (fresh off a midweek Caribou triumph) get reeling Men Untied (fresh off a home spanking by Geordie Arabia’s B side) to start things off (8:30, USA).  I truly think EtH is safe no matter what, but things will get nervy if he can’t at least salvage a Draw here.

Four on the (Peacock) floor in the 11:00 window, including Suddenly Competent(ish) Everton hosting the Trashbirds.  USA will show City of Men skullfucking the Cherries, for some unfathomable reason.

Geordie Arabia’s A-side take on the mighty King’s Afrikan Water Pistols in Saturday’s spotlighter (1:30, NBC).  Everybody is chasing to keep up with Spurs, who host Chelski on MNF (3p, USA).  Don’t bother with Sunday’s nonsense, we gots MANDATORY 14 hours of NFL anyway.

tOhio State (+18.5) at Rutgers (Noon, CBS)

Do I expect the Tree Nutz to stub their toe here?  No.  But they could at least find tough sledding on the road, against a reasonably good defense.  For the record, my favoUrite Carlin one liner?  Kiss her where it smells, take her to New Jersey!

Kansas State (+4) at Texas (Noon, Fox)

This is kind of Big Twaaaaalllllve showdown week, as we try to get some separation amongst 1-loss competitors (like these two).  The Unded Bill Snyders have come on stroong after a dicey September, while Steerfuckers South are…always vulnerable, if talented.  Expect a low-scoring, physical battle.

Texas A&M (+3) at Ole MIss (Noon, ESPN)

This line suggests Bonfire Cult would be a very slight favoUrite over Johnny Reb on a neutral pitch.  Which…doesn’t seem accurate to Hippo at all.  Not that I want to bet on Lane Kiffin in a spot like this, MOAR that I want to bet against Jimbo Fisher.

Missouri (+15.5) at Georgia (3:30, CBS)

This is the Lucky Pierre of CBS’ rare triple-header.  Will we all be cold, cold in the ground before we recognize Missour-ah (as a real SEC contender)?  We’ll know after today.  I am intrigued to watch it play out, though too bad the game is Between the Hedges.  Lowers upset potential considerably.

Oklahoma (-5.5) at Oklahoma State (3:30, ABC)

This is probably the last Bedlam for at least our natural lives, and BDSM State deserves to win it.  Especially in Stillwater.

Iowa (-5) at Northwestern (3:30, Peacock)

Some men – and Hippos – just want to watch the world burn.