Balls Magazine Year 2, Volume 1 (22 overall)

I just realized the last time I wrote about golf was back in September. A lot has happened since then.

On that occasion, I wrote about the Senior Championship at my golf club which is open to anyone over 50. I ended up doing fairly well and scored some points and won some money. This continued through the Club Championship, which was a two day event in November.

I finished the year ranked #23 out of over 100 players, so that’s not too bad for my first year in the club.

My Handicap Index is currently sitting at 32.7 which, considering that my very first Handicap Index a year ago was 37.6, is going in the right direction. The lowest my Handicap Index has been is 32.4, which happened about a month ago.

The other new development is that I have invested in new irons. I bought a set of Takomo 101 irons (clubs 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, & PW) for a little less than $500. These are straight-to-consumer clubs that I bought off the Internet after doing a fair bit of research.

Let’s face it, I was not about to spend close to $1000 on a set of brand name golf clubs. The Takomo 101s are considered beginner or game-improvement clubs, so I figured that would work for me. They arrived in the mail three days before the second tourney of the year. The first time I swung them was on the day of the tournament.

Here is the story of that day.

The first shot was straight down the middle of the fairway and long. It was a perfect start. It would have been nice to write that it was one of my new clubs, but it was actually my 1 iron. Everyone is amazed I can hit that club, but it’s become one of my most consistent clubs. I love it.

The second shot was my first opportunity with the new clubs. Typically, this is when I ruin the brilliant first shot with a slice to the right and I struggle to get to the green. With the new 4 iron, I hit it perfectly straight and stopped short of the apron. A chip shot and a two putt and I had a bogey 5. Awesome start.

The pattern repeated itself in the second hole. I hit the 1 iron straight and the 4 iron short. Unfortunately, the next shot was hit with an old wedge and I fucked that up, played a little ping pong, and ended up with an Abominable Snowman. The Third was a Par 3 where I missed the green, fucked up the chip and two putted for the double bogey 5.

The thing I discovered in this round is that my new clubs are wonderful, my 1 iron is consistently straight, and my putter gives me great control over pace. The bad news is every other club sucks balls.

The Fourth was a wide Par 4 so I figured I would hit a Wood. I did hit a Wood but the ball went in The Woods. Another Snowman. I know this was February, but it’s only supposed to snow in the mountains in SoCal. Btw, you could see the snow in the mountains in the background of several shots. It was gorgeous!

I did a little better on the Par 3 Fifth getting another 5. A 7 on the Par 5 Sixth was not too bad. It was followed by a 5 on the Par 4 Seventh and a Bogey 4 on the Par 3 Eight.

Things looked to be getting better.

The Ninth is a Par 5 and it’s fairly wide. I hit driver and it went astray. I think I will call my driver Buffalo Bill because it always goes Wide Right.

I got yet another Snowman to finish the Front Nine with a 55. Not great, Bob!

As you know by now, however, I always do better in The Back. Today was no exception.

My scores on the first three holes were 6, 6, and 6. My playing partners recognized and made appropriate jokes about it.

I really should mention that I had great guys playing with me. One of the guys is notorious around the club as a hot head and a difficult guy to play with but I had a blast with him! He actually gave me his card after the round so we could arrange to play some rounds together.

The other guy was very nice but didn’t talk much. He was also in another cart by himself so we didn’t really have a chance to interact with him too much. All in all, though, it was a fun group to play with.

The Snowman reared his ugly head one more time on the 13th but fortunately it was for the last time.

I closed the round with three straight bogeys to get a 53 on the back and a total of 108 for the day.

That would not be enough to get me in the winnings but I felt fairly good about the round because my new clubs performed spectacularly. I think out of all the shots I hit that day with them, only one went off line.

I need to work on my wedges and the woods.

PROS

I hit my new clubs really well, specially considering it was my first time.

I closed well and played better as the round went on.

CONS

I saw more Abominable Snowmen than the last time I rode the Matterhorn in Disneyland.

I need to be able to hit my wedges with precision and my woods straight.

OVERALL RATING:

I have mentioned before that my goal this year is to lower my Handicap Index to something in the 20s. I also want to shoot consistently in the 90s. I’m hoping my new clubs help me to get there.

I will keep you updated on my adventures and reveal, as always, the ugly reality of the struggle to get better. Should be fun.

See you next time.

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Brick Meathook
BeefReeferLives

Oh, SNAP. (my personal fav is “Klanned Karenhood”

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That sounds like a combination of a Twix and a Twizzler, which would put it in the same family as this unholy abomination:

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King Hippo

seriously, that shit is nasty enough to be part of a Survivor challenge

BeefReeferLives

So, according to Lee Travino, Balls is more powerful than God…

“If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1iron.”
-Lee Trevino.

Use your power wisely, Balls. Use it for good.

Game Time Decision

Checks WordPress to see if there’s a way to have author’s name change based on the post
/golfballsofsteelandfury should be the author

BeefReeferLives

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WCS

Anyone want to loan me $3400? This is not a joke. Serious last second emergency.

So close, yet so far.

2Pack

Am I the only one losing my log in every time I come back in or is there a site thing going on?

2Pack

I blame WordPress

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“No, you should blame immigrants.” – Kari Lake

SonOfSpam

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Sharkbait

Same.

Also WordPress, LET ME EDIT DAMNIT

Unapproved edit: HA-HA (in Nelson Muntz voice)

Last edited 8 months ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
Game Time Decision

There is a “remember me” check box that should help, just below the user name and password area. I usually log in one a week.

2Pack

Yeah I always check that. Seems to be working now but for the past day it’s been messing with me.

Game Time Decision

ya, that happens sometime. Fucking WordPress.

Gumbygirl

Me too. It’s annoying.

LemonJello

[DFO] IT Department, Artistic Interpretation:

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Don T

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WCS

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2Pack

Not bad Buddy. Ya think a caddy might help?

7.-Jordan-Cornelius.jpg
WCS

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Balls’ empathetic nature during his partner’s meltdown (AI assisted rendering)

Brick Meathook
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I bought my irons with an income tax refund when I was in college, and I plan to stick with them until I can definitively state that a single bad shot was solely the fault of the club. I do not expect to get new irons anytime soon.

blaxabbath

Area Man Shoots 4-Under Using Government Clubs.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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WCS

Government clubs not bullets.

Horatio Cornblower

They’re “freedom seeds” Sir, and I’ll thank you to remember that.

BugEyedBoo

I was told by a golf pro that the grips will get slick over time, and that old clubs (see GTD below) could usually stand a regrip.

Game Time Decision

I’m hoping to get new clubs this year. I think that I’ve mentioned that I’m using my dad’s clubs where the woods are still wood. So, like ANYTHING, will be better than I’m using now, just trying not to break the bank

Game Time Decision

oh and I got snowpersons for days when I golf.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I don’t know anything about that, but one thing I can tell you is that you do *not* want to use a snowperson as a dummy to trick coach into thinking you’re still asleep in bed so you can sneak out after curfew.” – Eli Manning

BugEyedBoo

As for inexpensive clubs, I remember that way back in the dawn of time Golfsmith used to put together DIY golf club kits, that would save you a few bucks. You could get a catalog and mix and match heads, shafts, and grips. A few people I know put sets together, and liked the results. These days Amazon has that market covered, unless your DIY itch needs scratched.

King Hippo

It’s a testament to Balls’ writing talent that he can get me to read about GOLF.

/will continue to pray FOAR his soul

BugEyedBoo

Golf advice, worth every cent you’re paying for it: use your 3W, not your driver. Or just keep using that 1-iron if you’re confident in it. 200 yds in the fairway is better than 250 yards over in the trees. Or so I was told, anyway.

WCS

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Last edited 8 months ago by WCS
blaxabbath

Sorry — I know the general club discussion took place longin in ago — does your club have merch?

blaxabbath

Re-up.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s a shame

/literally wearing one of my 9 GWS Giants hats that have been mailed to me as part of my membership package over the years