Greetings all!
Happy 4th to 7th of whatever-the-fuck midsummer weekend to everyone! I trust you had or are having a fun weekend?
Me? Ehh, regular old weekend with that random Thursday off thing. The 4th was fine. I cooked some dogs and had more than my fair share of these things…
Thanks for the suggestion Dok!
On the 4th I also discovered a thing that can possibly upend the entire world of hot dog consumption.
I was using Boar’s Head uncured frankfurters as the hot dog base. While I do indeed agree with brother TAJ that most Boar’s Head products are over priced sodium bombs, they do make a tasty frank.
I had three of them so I figured I would have the first one with just mustard, as one is supposed to do, then I would have the 2nd one with mustard and chili crisp because that sounded kind of awesome and I wanted to give it a go and finally I would have the third dog with mustard and Sriracha because Sriracha is pretty fucking killer on a hot dog.
Mustard dog was perfectly tasty so I had the 2nd one with mustard and chili crisp.
….
Before eating the third one, I returned the Sriracha to the fridge and had another dog with mustard and chili crisp.
That was fucking AMAZING!
PUT THIS SHIT ON YOUR HOT DOG NOW AND FOREVER!
I have never heard or read of anyone doing this before, although I’m POSITIVE it’s been done but holy shit, dude.
Game changer right there.
Not the greatest holiday ever but it was fine. Still noisy as fuck in Pedro with the fireworks. That shit has been like this forever and it’s another one of the little quirks about my town. They love their asses some fireworks over here.
To our recipe!
I’m pretty sure most of you know that I don’t drink hard alcohol anymore. Which is why using vodka in a recipe seems counter intuitive, but I never said I wouldn’t cook with it.
And it turns out that vodka sauce is a damn fine reason to cook with alcohol.
Yes indeed we’re back to the Italian/American well again this week. I hope that’s cool with y’all because I’ve got yet ANOTHER Italian recipe in a couple of weeks. That one will be Italian Italian though not American Italian.
One of these days I’m going to tally up and link to all of my Italian based foods and hopefully one of you motivated folks know someone who wants to open a restaurant because…Motherfucker? If you can’t open an Italian restaurant with all of the recipes I’ve given you? Then maybe your ass shouldn’t be in the goddamn restaurant industry.
All told this is a pretty simple meal to slap together and the results are fucking stellar.
Chicken Penne in Vodka Sauce!
recipe courtesy of thekitchengirl.com
8 ounces Penne Pasta Noodles
½ teaspoon Sea Salt for the pasta water
2 Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts about 1 pound
pinch salt and pepper to season chicken
some dried basil and dried oregano to season the chicken
1 tablespoon Olive Oil or preferred cooking oil
1 medium Onion diced
3 cloves Garlic minced
¼ cup Vodka
1 (28 ounce can) Crushed Tomatoes
½ cup Heavy Cream
¼ cup Fresh Oregano or 1 tsp dried oregano
¼ teaspoon Crushed Red Pepper
¼ cup Parmesan Cheese plus more for serving
Salt and Pepper to taste
Procure chicken.
Yes, I remember all of my rantings about not using boneless skinless chicken breasts OK? I had this in the freezer.
The fuck you gonna do? Shit’s expensive out there in the wild.
Let’s gather the basics
You got your pasta.
You can go ahead and cook your pasta in salted water, then we’re going to drain, rinse and add to the main dish later.
Be sure to save half cup or so of the pasta water.
You’re gonna use this shit to get the viscosity and creaminess of the final dish to your liking.
Here’s something you don’t see me do often.
Drain and rinse the pasta.
When I was first learning to cook I always did this step but as you learn and grow as a cook you realize that the starch in the cooked pasta allows the sauce to adhere to it better.
Another key player here. You know this one well by now.
Of course it is. The shit is fucking fabulous in this dish.
Go ahead! Grate some up.
Lovely!
As for our final two featured players, Shit I KNOW you all know this one.
Yes that’s one of them little airplane bottles which just so happens to be 2 ounces, or you know? One quarter cup.
Neat!
Yet another player you should know well by now, this shit here.
Oh fuck it. If we’re introducing all of the key components of this meal I better include this one too.
There is not one single drop of this wine that will be in the food. No sir. This shit is mine for the effort and the perfect food pairing.
Let’s make this motherfucker already.
Cube up the chicken.
Season the chicken and drop it in a heated skillet with a tablespoon or two of olive oil.
I seasoned the chicken with some salt, pepper, dried basil and dried oregano.
Similar to when we cooked the shrimp for our Shrimp Fra Diavolo, we are going to mostly cook the chicken. It will finish in the sauce just like the shrimp did.
Next take your chopped onion and add it right into the same pan with the chicken juices and such.
Cook for about 7 minutes or so until tender then add in the garlic. You have already been preached to more than once about cooking the onion and garlic for the same amount of time, as mentioned in the original recipe.
We’re fucking better than that are we not?!
Get the vodka in there now to deglaze the pan.
I’m sorry, what was the question?
Can you use “freezer vodka?”
Well shit, I don’t see why not. Just adjust your cooking length to account for the temperature of the vodka.
Good question, though!
Get the tomatoes, oregano, red chili flakes and the cream in there next.
Then stir around a bit.
Yes. That is the correct color. As you were.
This will simmer for 10-15 minutes then we add in the pasta. Use the reserved pasta liquid to adjust the thickness of the sauce. It wasn’t just sitting there for decoration.
Once your texture is how you prefer, then in goes the chicken and the grated parmigiano reggiano.
Keep adjusting until you get the texture exactly as you like it.
And well, hell. Guess we better feast now!
Yes, that bread was homemade when I did the aforementioned shrimp Fra Diavolo episode. If you freeze the unused portion it makes kick-ass garlic bread!
Fuck me that looks delicious by the way.
And for good reason. Look!
I used fresh basil and more parmigiano reggiano as a garnish and that basil really fucking popped. Plus it just looks fucking sexy right there.
Every single one of you out there need to try this. It’s the perfect balance of the tomatoes and cream and cheesiness and that kick from the fresh basil.
FUCK yes.
This is a goddamn keeper for sure and the leftovers are fantastic.
Remember watching The Sopranos and you would see Tony eating cold pasta out of the fridge and he would eat it right from the Tupperware container?
Guilty as fucking charged.
For those of you who had the foresight to take Friday off, I hope you enjoy the last day of your long summer weekend.
Stay cool and keep hydrated out there.
Let’s do this shit again next week.
See you then.
PEACE!
OBTW, I must say that it is a Delight to see that the villains in The Last Boy Scout finally won IRL while I was away.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBM6QkG0xeY
Good god, man. That’s incredible.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jYyYl3RdjI
It’s underwhelming after all the buildup from this bit.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fort_Pitt_Tunnel
Two consecutive callers for TWO pedestrians walking in between lanes INSIDE the bloody tunnel.
Jesus Christ. I don’t even like to drive through those tunnels, they’re so narrow.
If I had a say over the best of road bike racers, the first thing I would do is make them ride over uneven gravel roads and inhale tons of dust for several hours.
No doubt this will show who’s the best and not post any immediate or long term damage to these elite athletes.
I say, ride for 10km, then eat 10 hot dogs. Rinse and repeat 9 more times.
I’d sign up for that
Driving up and back from New Hampshire, if I had a dime for every “be aware of motorcycles” highway sign I saw I could have filled not only my gas tank but also the trunk and a good portion of the back seat.
I mean, I know there’s a big rally in Laconia but I could probably be trusted to drive more than 2 miles and not forget that I’m not supposed to run over motorcyclists.
“If I catch a live coyote, what’s the reward?”
— verbatim how the last call began, followed by
“(its)sitting here near next to me.”
Scratch those off the BINGO card of series of words you didn’t think existed.
For the record, I’m not sure there is any reward. That said, it’s a fucking coyote, not a pet.
Did you tell him to name it Wile E.?
He does seem like a super genius…
Caller: Hello, is this ACME?
WCS: Sir, you’ve reached 911. Do you have an emergency?
Caller: I gots me that varmint what’s always misusin’ yer products fer to catch that skinny bird! You want I should bring him in or….-click-
WCS: I’m not missing Lone Star 911 for this shit.
By “catch it” did he mean “put a cooked steak on the floor and leave the back door open”?
City park… like, not Schenley, Point State, or the Botanical Gardens the PARK parks…
this was happening in just a regular half block park, in the city, with buildings and such. Coyotes wandering around, making friends.
Mama Nature is getting increasingly irritated with our species.
She’s really going to emphasize that point by sending up like thirty hurricanes this summer. Oh look here comes one now.
Absolutely love that track. Fuck Arkansas.
I mean, it won’t be very strong by that point. It’ll be enough to coat everything with a light dusting of pigshit, but how would that be different from any other day in Arkansas?
Don’t dickstep my dreams, Rikki.
Could use some more Texass.
I couldn’t do your job Buddy. The Troll in me is too strong.
A woman called on the 4th of July to complain about fireworks, and that her neighbors’ kids are abusive because they call her “Karen.”
Yes, this is true. I wasn’t the only one to take a call from her.
That’ll do Brazil, that’ll do.
I watched boxing last night and just realized this was a rerun.
Time for a beer!
If you haven’t seen it, it’s new to you!
https://ibb.co/S70KgFV
My dad did so often I didn’t know it was a thing till I was like nine or ten.
Suddenly, the alcoholism makes plenty more sense…
Just back from climbing Mt. Moosiluake in New Hampshire. And yes, I of course did use the steepest trail possible to go up AND down, because I love a challenge, because there was no other option to go down that left me anywhere near the parking lot, and most importantly because I am an idiot.
3 hour drive up, 5+ hour hike, 3 hour drive back, and I am now devouring a bowl of pasta with meat sauce and thank God Mrs. Horatio had that waiting for me, because otherwise I’d be trying to eat the screen.
Congrats on surviving!
Birthday – My daughter bought me Natterjack Cask Strength 126 proof Irish Whiskey. Something hit me intestinally, so no sample, and no strip steak and baked potato for supper. Whatever it was settled down later on so I could eat a piece of red velvet (classy!) birthday cake. And House of the Dragon finally was worth watching. Dragon fights! Not a bad day in general.
So you’re saying I should go past episode 2?
Because I haven’t yet.
I’m stuck in the middle of episode 2. I don’t dislike it, per se, I just don’t care.
I’ve had to explain my position about several things Princess thinks I should be concerned with.
Oh it’s also that I’m lazy, let’s not kid ourselves.
I feel your pain, but S2E4 is pretty good.
Without spoilers, S2E4 is the best episode of HotD yet. Granted, it’s not that big of a bar to clear. My wife and daughter really like it, but for me it’s usually kind of meh.
I know they all die in the end.
This isn’t a spoiler: GoT takes place 200+ years in the future and none of these people are there.
dragon fights?!?
I dig the grumpy toad on the label
That was what sold it to my daughter.
Happy Birthday Boo!
You’re as young as you feel!
And landed in Chicago! Woo!
It’s a good thing my dog doesn’t have a concealed carry permit because she would have drawn and shot that hapless homeless person in the face for committing the crime of sitting quietly in a gap between some bushes and startling her.
My dogs woulda shot up the whole neighborhood on the Fourth.
Just indiscriminate bloodshed. Woulda been fine with me.
The lack of opposable thumbs also makes it super hard for dogs to go on shooting sprees. Also for horses to order treats off Amazon
Big, if true.
Now I’m imagining what Mr. Ed could do if he’d had access to an Alexa.
Mom: “What’s wrong?”
Me: “I think the scale battery is going out. It says I lost 4 pounds.”
Mom: “Want me to change it?”
Me: “Hell no.”
Found a funny:
When the French election results are good
🇫🇷
Boarding!
Safe travels
Stupid O’Hare is experiencing delays due to thunderstorms so I’m still sitting in LEX, almost 2 hours delayed at this point. Where is everyone? Hopefully we board soon, but could use some imaginary internet company until then!
*Waves at Dok*
My last trip though ORD in May was delayed about 11 hours for **waves at big board of airline excuses** well, “Reasons” as the youths today like to say.
The weather has cleared out by this point, so the FAA has stopped limiting capacity, but they still gotta play catchup. Just a stupid thing about travel in summer.
Just announced boarding in half an hour direct from the captain though, so looking good!
ORD is the worstest airport evar
However my last trip with a connection through there went swimmingly
My vote for worstest US airport would probably go to Newark. Considering how stupid the weather around Chicago is most of the year they really do a surprisingly good job. And I like the ridiculous rainbow tunnel.
Yes, Newark blows goats.
Here I am! I got together with an old college friend and we had margaritas.
Fun! Any guac or nachos with that?
Molé enchiladas!
Glad you enjoyed the chips! Regional potato chip brands tend to be quality.
I have yet to find something that doesn’t taste good with chili crisp on it.
Cooking with vodka has always seemed weird to me since it’s pretty neutral tasting, but hey, if it works it works. Looks tasty as always!
I didn’t address it in the post because it didn’t really matter but apart from deglazing the pan there wasn’t much influence from the vodka.
Huh, so according to internet it helps release some flavor compounds that are soluble in alcohol and also reacts with the acid from the tomatoes to make the sauce creamier. Would be interesting to split a batch and compare with and without
Must have been a hell of a 4 day weekend in the clubhouse.
Damn near wasted the whole crew.
This delicious meal will pair well with France’s right-wing assholes finishing THIRD today.
Vive democracy!
ong ong ong
Is that a “eating” sound, or just “oh ny god”
laughter
in french
Shouldn’t that be “MDR” or literally “RAÉ”?
If only we could teamwork to defeat Nazis here, smh
After re-watching Constantine, I’d like to report Tilda Swinton for stealing every scene.
In every movie she’s in.
Wow, people were not wrong about how terrible Conor McGregor is in Road House.
That movie was fuckin’ horrible from start to finish.
ETA: maybe Jake Gyllenhaal is trying to take a page out of Gene Hackman’s book – there’s no part that he won’t play.
SHOW ME THE MONEYS?
/If I had an ounce of acting talent, I’d take most parts offered
*phone rings*
Agent: He’ll take it!
Caller: Is this Nicholas Cage’s office?
Those dinosaur skulls aren’t free, ya know.
I disagree, it served perfectly well as background for my workout. Jake Gyllenhaal gets basically infinite leeway from me after how good he was in Nightcrawler.
+1 for Nightcrawler. Good stuff.
You’d think it’s not that difficult considering the first one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bR_Yqn1D00w
To be fair, Lucy had that coming.
There’s absolutely no reason “in Road House” needed to modify this sentence.
I remember when Tony Soprano beat that dude to death with his bare hands.
But I bet Yeah Right does relate in the always walking around in a robe slurping on gobagul kind of way.
Great stuff Yeah Right. Easier to make than it looks too, although I don’t use the vodka.
Freaking garden went ape shit this week. I’ve got everything in but the peppers and eggplant.
I would like to point out that before I knew anything about cooking I thought Penne a la Vodka was pasta swimming in lukewarm Smirnoff.
/Who could possibly want to eat that?
Somewhere Britt Reid is absolutely salivating.
Totally agree about the fresh basil. Using fresh herbs (basil, parsley, cilantro, etc.) is something that a lot of people think is overly fussy and pretentious for home cooking but it makes a huge difference, and it’s trivial to do. Just buy a $1.50 bunch of parsley once a week, and spend thirty seconds chopping it while your dish finishes. Or keep a herb garden, but I suck at this.
Fact right there folks
What am I supposed to do with parsley and these steamed hams?
It’s absolutely key in some recipes.
Chives are a nice finishing herb too.
How did I live all those horrid years without “Chili Crisp” in my life?
Hail Satan for rectifying that massive hole in my existence!
This recipe is just like what I made last night after a few cocktails:
Oooh, look at Mr. Too Good For Kraft Dinner with his “fancy” mac and cheese!
“Elitist” mac and cheese.
Yeah, what’s this “rabbit of approval” shit?