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M*U*S*H: Tuesday Open Thread

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

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Rough week in training rooms around the NFL, as everyone is DED.

It seems like there were a huge number of severe big-name injuries this week that may signal a left-turn for a couple contenders:

-The Buccaneers lost both of their star wideouts last night. Mike Evans is likely to be out until Week 12, while Chris Godwin will likely miss the remainder of the season after Roquan Smith turned his ankle was turned into a fine white powder.

Simmer down, not that kind

-Jayden Daniels was injured in Washington and it WAS NOT HIS LEGS! He is considered week-to-week after his ribs got Tony Roma’d

-Chefs’ starting corner Jaylen Watson broke his leg right through, and is likely to miss the rest of the regular season after surgery.

– San Francisco is now down to George Kittle and the dude who got shot. Deebo Samuel was hospitalized with pneumonia, while Brandon Aiyuk is rapidly running out of ligaments in his right knee.

-In lighter news, Browns embarrassment Deshaun Watson suffered an extremely painful injury on Sunday. Watson’s Achilles tendon decided it wanted nothing to do with him either, committing suicide on a routine dropback. Watson will attempt to find a physical therapist willing to work with him over the ten-to-twelve month recovery. Very funny, especially coming on the heels of the team’s we-need-a-new-stadium fuckery.

WHAT’S ON TONIGHT?

Jack shit. The World Series is going to be incredibly disappointing, and MLB is only making this fish stink worse by letting it sit out for five days before starting.

Apparently basketball is starting?

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WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e110orTbj5Y

FOUND IT! I knew the interwebz didn’t let me down.

EDIT: Maybe. Well, I wanted to post this somewhere so I can proof this exists.

Last edited 1 year ago by WCS
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WCS

I am genuinely dumbfounded (more so than usual, mind you) by just how bad Danny Derps is at home.

Does New York media terrify him that badly?

1
blaxabbath

Like a child in an abuse home, maybe just getting out of Metlife for the day adds 40 points to his bedwetting QBR for away games.

1
yeah right

Please take this in a complimentary way but every time I stop on here to check in I forget what I was gonna say in the first place.

3
Unsurprised

It’s not just an issue of not having or willing to expend the mental energy to change. It’s that the hope and very imagination of an alternative is missing or beaten out.

1
Bogdanski

Goddammit get out of my head. Although thanks for figuring out how to put it into words

0
blaxabbath

Can’t live by hope or imagination.

1
SonOfSpam

RIP Fernando Valenzuela. Gotta root against the Yankees for the Dodgers now.

4
yeah right

That’s too young. Fuck, we’re the same age.

That’s asking a LOT for me to be a Dodgers fan but I can also throw a hearty “Fuck the Yankees” out there in a pinch.

Godspeed Fernando.

You garnered a lot of baseball fans in a short period of time.

2
Gatoraids

Back when McDonalds had higher standard for their workers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-WLfADmfQg

4
Doktor Zymm

So they are selling asleep coffee? Seems like poor marketing

464391564_889072133355325_479801356207947205_n.jpg
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Sharkbait

The worst part is they aren’t even the first people to think of this. Though admittedly their tagline is pretty bad.

4
yeah right

From the same guys that made Near Beer.

0
WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWIhLmIiYzA

0
Sharkbait

Sharkette lost her first tooth today, the day before her 5th birthday. Successfully placed 5 Sacajawea coins under the pillow

8
SonOfSpam

Good job Fairy!

5
Sharkbait

Decent and military

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFhoMNJQLQI

2
yeah right

I got a quarter.

Cheap ass tooth fairy.

Lost four damn teeth one summer and came away with a buck.

1
Unsurprised

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SonOfSpam

LeBron is starting his 22nd NBA season.

Trying to think of what I’ve been able to do for 22 years…

1) Be married
2) Drink beer
3) Play fantasy sports

I think that’s it.

Last edited 1 year ago by SonOfSpam
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WCS

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3
Doktor Zymm

I’ve never even lived in the same place for that long

5
Mr. Ayo

I’ve been able to jerk off for more than 22 years. With a win every time and no injuries.

2
SonOfSpam

I haven’t since 9/11.

My thing was always skyscrapers and well

1
Brick Meathook

Time to attack my 20 page mail-in ballot!

https://ibb.co/QHgwbVC

4
Brick Meathook

This is the best page: five judgeships and L.A. County DA. Everyone of them is going to be a write-in that says “me.” I figure if I’m the DA and the judge there’s no way I can lose a case. It’s science folks look it up.

I think they’re all downtown so the commute’s not too bad, I don’t want to have to drive out to the sticks every day.

https://ibb.co/Wn2cjG4

5
Sharkbait

Ice Giants kicked the extra point vs. Montreal tonight. Incidentally, the following Rangers have scored a goal at metlife more recently than Daniel Jones has thrown a TD pass there:

Vincent Trocheck
Artiemi Panarin
Chris Kreider
Mika Zibanejad

2
WCS

That’s so insane it’s too inane to be made up.

Holy shit, no wonder Giants fans are so angry all the time.

2
Sharkbait

Thats not even the entire list of players who have scored there since.

1
Dunstan

Can’t wait for the day when someone takes off Jacob Trouba’s head.

0
Horatio Cornblower

This is just my opinion, but the Kraken going with the Austrian Men’s National Lesser Footy Toothpaste uniforms was a mistake that could and should have been avoided.

2
herodotus450

/The entire NHL scheduled to play today

WHAT’S ON TONIGHT?

Jack shit.comment image

11
Horatio Cornblower

The Rev is a Buffalo fan; why would he care about hockey?

4
litre_cola

So. I am at Decilitre’s indoor futbol practice. Last week a dad cam over and asked another dad to erase the pictures he took of his own child. This led to an animated discussion. Picture dad was civil and IMO completely in the right. Well, tonight parents aren’t allowed in the gym to watch. What the fuck???

1
Horatio Cornblower

Throat punch, foot stomp, ear clap, as has been foretold in the prophecy.

4
litre_cola

Wasn’t my battle but it did cross my mind.

3
blaxabbath

“Delete away, man. Why would I want photos of your ugly kid anyways?

Besides, I got copies on the computer in my basement.”

3
Dunstan

“I’m worried that you’ll post photos on social media, and my son is so handsome that a child predator will fall in love with him and track him down.”

1
BeefReeferLives

Hmmmm. I have my doubts. Wondering if ““Yeah, I can do that” = “Yeah I’ve been immunized”

Steelers’ Beanie Bishop Gets A Direct Response From Jets’ Aaron Rodgers

2
SonOfSpam

Lakers got LeBron and Bronny (the kids can call you BroJu) playing together tonight, with the two Ken Griffeys in attendance. It’s neat! Then we can forget all about Bronny.

But still, that’s a heck of a thing.

And I know how much the Lakers are beloved here.

3
WCS

the kids can call you BroJu

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6
Senor Weaselo

Oh yeah, let’s see how the Knicks are doing *checks ESPN app*
https://youtu.be/mbUxjc4btlE?si=_5EZiGpUGoc6fbrM

3
SonOfSpam

The Liberty would beat their asses.

1
Doktor Zymm

Gonna be a fun time on fantasy waivers this week! And a great time to be on a practice squad!

3
litre_cola

What a destructive week. Hopes sunk in 2 of my 4 leagues and I am shithouse in DFO anyway…

1
Doktor Zymm

Luckily it was a bad week for pretty much everyone, although I do still feel pretty screwed in my money league

0
Sharkbait

ALL THE HOCKEY! The Wild are fucking up my parlay, but the Rangers are beating Montreal like they owe them money

3
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Merde

1
WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7UMubmfbH0

Petition to make this the new Stillers intro music.

comment image

3
ballsofsteelandfury

I prefer this one:

https://youtu.be/pFReii4tmJ8?si=BaKrkOiWI_ok02EW

1
ballsofsteelandfury

The lineup:

Colt 45
Olde English 800
Mickey’s
King Cobra
Steel Reserve

This weekend, the tasting happens…

6
ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve also seen Earthquake and Hurricane. Are they worth picking up? They seem to be new…

0
WCS

Hurricane has been around longer than I’ve been alive. I’m 42.

Are you trying the ultimate game of 40 Hands? Well, you know how to reach me when things go sour.

5
Doktor Zymm

Hopefully there’s a too drunk version of this
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7
Senor Weaselo

I’ve had Earthquake, and it was not conducive to playing chamber music.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

So that’s a “Yes, Balls, you need to drink it”?

4
BrettFavresColonoscopy

What about Schlitz?

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Can’t find it! I thought I had a lead and ordered it from a shop in Cypress, but they “declined” my online order for pickup! WTF?

3
yeah right

Got to “Ride the Bull.”

1
WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qc41TLhChmY

1
Horatio Cornblower

Even they know this is a terrible idea.

2
WCS

Haldo.

3
Mr. Ayo

Tonight is the Frozen Frenzy! All ice ball teams in action! Non-stop coverage now on ESPN!

And, of course, I’ll do my part by RELEASING THE KRAKEN!!!!

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5
King Hippo

As often as this Kraken seems to get recaptured, have y’all considered maybe it desires staying in captivity??

7
litre_cola

You cannot contain the Kraken silly Hippo.

5
Doktor Zymm

Go on ya Kraken, go on and git!
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7
2Pack

As it was foretold

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