Everton are Freeeeeee(dkin)! and Other FITBAW Matters

So much going on in sportsball.  Uncle Teddy takes a one-Saturday ciggy break, to celebrate ball-gargling, money-laundering, fuckhead fraud Fahrad Moshiri finally OUT of my beloved club.  There is no way The Friedkin Group can be any worse, despite being American-led.

FUN FACT!  If Dyche gets sacked in the morning agter face planting home to Chelski (Sun 9:00, USA) – then is “sacked in the morning” – it would be the bestest Festivus miracle ever.

(Though really, I don’t care if Dyche finishes the season, so long as he is IMMEDIATELY out after the final game, and has zero input on any January roster churn.)

Last night, we started the Brave New Playoff World (hopefully with Indiana poleaxing ND), and we get a triple-header today.  Alongside a quality NFL doubleheader.  Busy day, so buckle up.  Scotchy will be back mid-late afternoon for the next tranche of blended FITBAW glory.

SMU (+8.5) at Paedo State (Noon, TNT)

Talk about playing with house moneys.  Fresh off a disgusting ACC title match loss to Clemson, the post-Condi Committee lets them in anyways, even gifting them the higher seed (11 to Clemson’s 12) and a puncher’s chance to advance.  Sure, they’re an underdog.  But they’d have no chance in Austin.  James Franklin hasn’t won a “big game” seemingly in his entire tenure, and TNT’s first college broadcast in Hippo’s living memory probably qualifies.  Anyways, I sure ’nuff am interested.

500s (+3.5) at Chefs (1:00, NBC)

I’m not the least bit sure why Mahomes isn’t taking a rest week here.  I get it, Buffalo closes with P*ts/Jest/P*ts redux – but this game is on a short week, with Week 17 (Xmas Day) even shorter.  It’s just not a great idea, especially when defensing alone should suffice to handle the 500s in KC.  Houston’s offense just can’t get out of first gear, and occasional Beatie Mixon blowup game aside – really hasn’t all season.  They also know they are the 4 seed, and extremely unlikely to be anything else.  You aren’t going to face a “loaded for bear” opponent – let Dakota Jeebus chucklefuck around for one game.

God bless staggered kickoff times, and for the best NFL game (PIT/BAL) pairing with the worst JV game (TX/CLEM) for ease of viewer choices.