It’s that dreaded time of year-no football for two weeks and the next game on the docket is when the ‘normals’ pile in and ruin everything for those of us that were slogging through third teamers in the preseason. Maybe I’ll get caught up on college or pro basketball. Or not. The game doesn’t remotely resemble the stuff I watched just 15 years ago and it’s lost its appeal.
Let’s do that usual Monday thing-
Fallout:
-Jayden Daniels had a great run and now his name is attached to postseason rook records like most yards passing, most yards rushing, most combined TD’s, highest completion percentage and so on. A sporty guy noted that this is probably the ‘worst’ team he’ll play on in the foreseeable future because the team has the third-most cap space and Adam Peters is in place. Look for the Commies to sign/draft an impact wr to pair with McLaurin, an edge and some upgrade or two on the offensive line.
-Is Spags the best big game DC in recent history? It would seem so.
-Hurts gets all kinds of grief from Philly fans, smh. Somebody should tell them that this running QB was 18-20 from inside the pocket yesterday.
-If Aaron Rodgers wanted some sort of assurance that he continues to be the special-ist boy that ever was he must be sorely disappointed. New coach Aaron Glenn says he’s under the microscope just like everyone else on the roster and Woody The MAGA has backed off. Hopefully this assessment process takes so long that other teams that need a QB will have things in place so that Qaron ends up retired or playing for the Raiders. (sorry Rikki, but we need the laughs)
-I’d have thought that Dan Campbell would have hired within for the OC job given that he was lucky to have Ben Johnson in 2024 in the first place. Turns out he kinda did, tapping John Morton, Denver’s passing game coordinator who was on the Lions staff back in 2022.
-The Opening Lines: Chiefs by 1.5 and the O/U is 48.5.
Per the Gulf of Mexico chatter below, where are the Cartographers for Social Equality when you need them?
https://youtu.be/OH1bZ0F3zVU?si=48wR1Tsjl-d_atPm
I never seen that show but that’s kinda a entertaining clip.
You’ve never seen the West Wing?
/faints in liberal
Okay, so I’m not all that drunk. Off to bed, can’t wait to see what tomorrow holds!
Reminder: Anyone who uses “CCP” instead of “CPC” is objectively wrong about whatever they are saying.
There is no social credit score, because America’s credit score system is more than evil enough, Trump is not pro-Russia and anyone who says he is doesn’t know shit about fuck, and the diminutive of Vladimir is fucking VOLODYA or VOVA.
I can honestly say I have no idea what you are talking about.
Only down with OPP
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hj7ot3LBMDE
He may not be pro-Russian, but he is definitely Putin something is his mouth that is Russian (slurp, slurp).
Dude ain’t pro-Me enough.
And he’s way more for me than a lot of my countrymen.
Christ Almighty. How did Alec Baldwin act against that cleavage? (season 3. Enter: Salma Hayek)
Dude’s a cold-blooded murderer. He probably thought Hayek was actually into him and that he could one day wear her skin.
My new phone is supposed to get here any minute, excite!
At night?
Some people have shady drug dealers, Dok has shady phone dealers.
…revising…
It’s DHL and I think the driver was running behind because it’s just been reported as undeliverable despite no delivery attempt being made
That’s just because DHL sucks shit
All the delivery companies do. I’ve found USPS to be the best
Picture (using the old one prior to shut down) or it’s all just an illusion.
If it’s not a BlackBerry you’ve sold out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27KYaGPf86A
It’s this
No Huawei trifold? : (
Physical keyboards 4EVER
Just realized this is the first true LATE NIGHT HAWKEY I’ve got since I started here. Ice Stillers losing is much more enjoyable with the backdrop of geriatric falls, gas leaks, and domestics!
I was today years old when I discovered this exists:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfan5MacmsI
Holy cow. We have a KFC here over at a mall near where Wifey works. I must investigate.
I think for his next trick, Trump should rename New Mexico and deem it to be New America.
See below.
Which one?
Doesn’t matter. It was a lame attempt at humor.
Here’s me in the after-shift clean-up bath at the coal mine I worked at when I was 4 years old:
As a kid I have had many baths in a sink just like that.
How is it that this country took the labor in those coal mines that children so enjoy and outlawed it?
Now they just yeet.
Nuclear self-portrait, lit with Uranium 235.
Fortunately, my atomic submarine training makes me impervious to any ill effects:
I’m putting my faith in European Womens volleyball to get me through these dark months and into beach ops.
How did Mexico get in there?
Bulgaria… ppl confuse those two all the time.
“Buldge-garia?!”
– Christy Noem, Calling to take the War on Trannies to THEIR home soil.
Here’s a guy who lives in my complex.
I’ll bet he’s pretty cool.
Impressive that a talking bird can afford his own place!
That bird saved my life one night.
His beak was juuuuust long enough to pull that lit M-80 out of your ass.
Oh I might have to get some of these
https://www.etsy.com/listing/1824384991/trump-staring-at-eclipse-meme-sticker
You’re just throwing stickers into the Grand Canyon of dummies.
First night I’ve been home alone this year and no football on?
WTAF Rog?
I’m feeling a certain sense of abandon this evening that may end with me passing out on the couch (and hopefully not pissing out on the couch).
passing it way with video games and the 50 years of SNL music
“Something so hot about a man’s bare penus dribbling urine straight on the throw slung over the arm of an equally aged/beaten chesterfield. I stare at his engorged test– UH I MEAN BARE VAGINA! BARE VAGINA! I HAVE A KINK FOR PAKISTANI VAGINA! YES I DO! RED MEAT!
….
Whew. Close one.”
-JD Vance, Moments before passing out on the couch in the Oval Office
I checked and this whole “Gulf of America” thing actually ended up making eggs more expensive.
Well, as long as trans swimmers don’t win Ivy League races.
To my understanding the only Ivy League races anymore are Asian and WASP.
Should have just named it “Giant Basin of Bird Flu”
Hurricane Stew
Now there’s a great name for a Zydeco band.
Or male stripper.
In that case it would be Hurricane Stu. But otherwise I agree.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DFTp_SMgHSh/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Didn’t he do this originally like, a couple years ago?
You would appear to be correct, based on the comments.
Google will change The Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America on Google Maps.
God damnit. Of course
We have always been at war with NATO and allied with Russia!
soon to be followed by Engulf of Greenland
As a Mexican, I will say that it never made sense to me that it was the Gulf of Mexico since the coastlines are roughly even.
Mexican/US Gulf doesn’t really roll off the tongue.
Probably was named back when Mexico was bigger
Probably when Spain owned Mexico and the American side was empty.
Wasn’t it all Mexico up until Houston or so?
I believe you are correct, sir
Google does that for all countries that have name disputes, like India and Pakistan, places like that.
The US doesn’t get an exception just because the majority of us got together and decided to let a dipshit run the country for 4 years.
“4 years?! There’s no way i’d…..
Well, I’m not paying extra the first time.”
-Matt Gaetz, Kid Fucker
“Hurts gets all kinds of grief from Philly fans, smh. Somebody should tell them that this running QB was 18-20 from inside the pocket yesterday.”
THIS. He made some absolutely beautiful touch passes yesterday. People seem to be anointing KC as “The Team of Destiny”, but Jalen & Philly’s D might have something to say about that.
“The Gang Kidnaps Taylor Swift”
And forgets where they confined her.
I would love to watch that one actually.
I would have thought society would have accomplished more before entering the next Dark Age. But nope, one Black President and “dudes can marry each other” was as far as humanity could get.
Hey now, chicks can also marry each other. That’s like double the progress!
HAWT progress!
When I tell Lil’ and Lil’er WCS I was mislead with overall progress we were taking has been stifled yet again, I’m not lying.
It was that dam tan suit. Thanks Obummer.
Don’t forget the Mustard Incident, and Bowling Green Massacre!
Yeah ppl forget that, I am one of those people. I had to google it. Dijon! why I never.
Africa has had black presidents for decades. Society accomplished that a long time ago.
“I know! We should have been able to keep it to zero negros in the White House if they ain’ta slavin’!”
-Jewel
Kelce and Swift
They’re totes getting married. She’s becoming Godmother to Jason Kelce’s next child.
Does that make Jason Carlo, Fredo, or… not Tom Hagen or Sonny…
I think I got myself lost in my own metaphor.
What will she write songs about if they don’t break up!?
How her kids are disappointments and don’t love her like they should.
We are never, ever…
Watching football together?
Doesn’t have the same hook.
I think they’re both true professionals in industries that i generally find harmful.
.
There’s a large obelisk under the pitchers mound.
Also, baseball is a stupid game. It’s not even a sport.
More legit than football nowadays. Baseball only fixes their games by market inequality. Football just rigs their games outright.
The only legit sport is hockey
No, because Finns are good at it. Only beach volleyball.
Until the Leafs win the cup.
Tennis.
Baseball is fine, they need to do something about the umpires and their different strike zones.
That would be pretty damn awesome!
Fans are only allowed to buy seats in the state they reside in. Locals only.
I saw this too! It doesn’t bisect the basepaths quite enough and you can’t hit a homer to New Mexico.
If it deflected off the foul pole?
..
Its going to be renamed New Trumpico by 2027.
Just turn the field clockwise.
And play every game at dusk. I want pitchers throwing blind as bats.
Hate to see how they figure state taxes for the players.
That is super awesome and inaccessible.
Do it so I can get the Jaguars to move to the volcano erupting on the Big Island.
Anthony Davis has 21 points and 10 boards.
First quarter’s almost over.