Hey.
It was a pretty decent weekend of sports watching at Fortress LemonJello. Leeds United won, 3-1 over Wolverhampton. The Jaguras eked out a win over Imaginary Team 17-10 and in between those highs was the low of watching the Fighting Illini experiencing their own Epstein Island, getting absolutely ass-blasted by the Hoosiers 63-10. So much for being in the NCAA top ten. Bondi Fetish Garden Noems got clubbed like a baby seal by AI Abuelas as well. Such is life.
Are we cleared to raise the flag back to full staff? We’re good? Okay.
I’m just tickled pink that you decided to join us for this week’s the Wee Baby Seamus Fantasy Football Leagues recap. Welp, let’s dive right in, then!
Freezer Vodka League
Week 3 Match-Ups
Week 3 Standings
Throw out everything you knew about ̶a̶u̶t̶i̶s̶m̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶v̶a̶c̶c̶i̶n̶e̶s̶ which teams are distancing themselves from the competition, because the top of the rankings are more congested than Dear Leader’s arteries. Eight teams sit at 2-1! That’s like almost a third* of the league.
*statistics provided by the Department of Labor
There are five teams at 1-2 working to avoid dropping into the Relegation Zone.
The only clear-cut leader in the race to relegation is Dead Hobos at 0-3.
Lowratio League
Week 3 Match-Ups
Week 3 Standings
AI Abuelas and Rod Rust never sleeps (both 3-0), currently hold two of the four coveted Promotion spots, with five teams tied at 2-1, followed by another 5 teams at 1-2 trying to secure the last two promotions into Freezer Vodka League next season. Sebastian’s Swag Team and Ambigious Aaron Rodgers sit in the bottom spots, with identical 0-3 records.
Lowratio League Blowout of the Weak
Who earns promotion from Lowratio League to Freezer Vodka League? Who will be relegated and replaced in the senior league this year? Tune in to find out!
Until Next Time!
Well this statue on the Mall is gone now, its lasted about 24 hours . . .
But this photo should win a Pulitzer Prize. The photographer is on the ground and he’s hitting it with two flash units. The artists posed it like Micky & Minnie Mouse at Disney World, but the lighting here just nails it. You just don’t see this level of craftsmanship in news photography anymore.
photo: Tom Brenner/For the Washington Post
https://ibb.co/v4KhRQLS
In lesser hands:
https://ibb.co/MyLXM9Sb
BTW, the statue behind it in the distance is the U.S. Grant Memorial, a monument to maybe not the greatest president but certainly the greatest general in U.S. history.
The Grant Memorial is the greatest sculpture installation in D.C., thanks to the two incredible bronze castings on either side, not quite visible here. One is a cavalry charge and the other is horse drawn artillery caisson charging. Both sculptures are dynamic beyond words. In the center is the man himself, atop a marble column sitting on his horse Cincinnati.
Cincinnati got horseshoe hoof and is out for 9 to 12 weeks.
Wow, I often need examples of photography as art and this could not be more appropriate. Amazing
Also, the Grant memorial and the Korean War memorial are by far my two favorite sculptures (or sets of sculptures) in DC
I hope it keeps popping up places
Photobomb Trump and the NFL Draft. I can help with the latter.
In the Freezer Vodka League, I picked up Jaxson Dart for the lulz.
So if anyone wants Prison Girlfriend, he/she/they’re now available.
I predict he will have 2 amazing games this year, I just have no idea which 2
When do they play Dallas again?
Because there’s one of ’em.
Someone just shot up an ICE building in Dallas, left anti-ice markings on the bullets, killed 3 detainees, then killed themselves.
This country’s critical thinking skills need improvement.
Most Mass shooters aren’t mentally ill (mentally ill people are victims of violence or self-harm at hugely higher rates) or politically motivated. They are just selfish, nihilistic, fucking assholes.
Bullies and trolls. Incidentally, this also supports the hypothesis that income inequality increases violence, just not primarily from the side people expect
Whatever side of the aisle this shooter turns out to have been on it seems safe to assume that they pretty much suck.
That’s interesting to me. I mean, there’s still gotta be Cr4zY even with all this evolution of understanding personalities and motivations. At what point is this stuff just more, “Lunatic takes gun to thing it sees on TV”? Used to be actresses or athletes or Regan. Now it’s podcasters and the occupants of any institution.
Luigi really started something with the bullet casing engravings
It does help narrow down the motive, unless the detective in charge is Frank Drebbin.
You know, if that dumbshit had just ditched all the incriminating evidence in random dumpsters in the midwest (instead of keeping it on his person) he would have got away scot-free, even if he was later questioned.
The drive has always been there. Now we just got good technology for the mass-shooting enthusiast who prefers the handcrafted touch of marking his own ammunition.
You know — just like we have glorified for generations of war.
One of the bullets had “ANTI-ICE” written in marker, which…yeah, Kash did that.
Would have been way funnier if it said “road salt” or “car window scraper”
“Live, laugh, love”
That might have taken an ounce of thought though, we can’t have that!
“Bud Light 4ever”
Slayer
Why should we believe anything law enforcement says?
I’m willing to bet Shohei Ohtani’s entire bankroll that this dude’s best friend was Grok.
So, thanks to the magic of HD, I now know what a face looks like when hit with a 99 MPH baseball.
https://www.cbssports.com/mlb/news/guardians-surge-into-al-central-tie-with-tigers-thanks-to-wild-sixth-inning-including-foul-ball-to-face/
The Yankees game had an extra-innings finish in dramatic fashion, but Cleveland had foul ball to the face…
Fuck Deryck Henry and that fumble. Lost by a point and a half. Fuck.
I also found that highly annoying.
I thought it was cool, even though I wanted the Ravens to win
Im shocked I survived Connor and Lamb both getting injured
Booooo
Official Statement from AI Abuelas’ operational division:
“For immediate release: Have you eaten something? Let me fix you something. Your browser history says you like soup. What’s the hurry? Come back OR DIE! Attach full-size team logo
“
Reminds me of my abuela. Except more death threats and more yelling about me being fat.
This week was my lowest fantasy score ever, and since it was thanks to the Bengals I now have a deeper understanding of what Redshirt goes through every year
I was just trying to figure out what I should do to try and fix my horrible team, but I’m afraid this ship is sinking no matter what. At least I can comfort myself knowing that I didn’t draft any of these losers!
Your team isn’t turrible. You don’t need to be carrying 2 QBs or 2 tight ends though. At the risk of having you snatch someone I want, you should totally drop your extras and grab some rbs/wrs that might do well later in the season
I’d listen to the Doktorb.
I was going to suggest picking up all the Jets/Cowboys/Saints players that you can.
Yeah, I meant to drop them, I just didn’t get around to it.