TGIF! This is late, but I’m blaming the hamsters running this site for not keeping it online today when I was awake.
Word Count Filler Time
This is going to be thin because I want to get this out as fast as possible. The subject today is banned books.
Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret
Parents were upset the novel dealt with Margaret’s first puberty and and wondering if God was real. Topics nobody else ever thinks about.
American Heritage Dictionary
This dictionary dared to publish curse words, so it was banned. They removed most of them and it was allowed back. But then was banned again because it included such naughty words as knockers and balls.
Little Red Riding Hood
Parents thought it encouraged drinking because the big bad wolf brought a bottle of wine to grandmother’s place.
Where’s Waldo
The pictures included the scandalous bare back of a topless sunbather. To be fair, I’m not allowed to post topless photos either despite the deep catalogue of such photos.
Mickey Mouse Comics
This was by Mussolini in Italy that thought the Disney logo encouraged children to be individuals. ¡Que Horror!
Complete Works Of Shakespeare
The poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge thought his works were too vulgar and needed to be banned in England. This was the first instance of the Streisand effect has Shakespeare’s works found new popularity due to the failed effort.
Alright, that’s enough. The lesson as always, don’t ban media.
Click here to get to commenting
Sexy Time
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!
“Japan and Korea, long time rivals and not just in baseball…”
Holy shit WBC announcer dude, take two seconds to think about what you just said!!
“In addition to the baseball games there’s a long history of genocidal invasions and sexual slavery, but it’s nothing Godzilla can’t solve by bringing both countries together.”
Like the saying goes, those who don’t know history don’t have to worry about it
What he means is, there is serious competition between the countries as to who dominates the Asian porn market and (relatedly) who is compensated more for human trafficking. So while he was correct that there are important non-baseball issues in play, I think he minimized it by not referencing the relative desirability of the specific nationalistic poon.
“And we won’t get into China, which has long frustrated neighbors by pee peeing in their Coke”
12:18 EST and WE’RE BACK. Again.
I am seriously considering telling people to call 9-1-2. It’s been a madness all day and now night.
I’m going to advise you to drink heavily for me.
WAY ahead of you.
Done and done.
Are you working St Patty’s Day?
It’s literally one of five days of the year we cannot call off.
Why?
SIR YES SIR
Fourth of July makes a 3 day weekend this year. Sounds like a good time for a New Orleans trip
Smrt
We should make it a DFO outing! Marigny and Bywater, nawt French Quarter
Even better idea! I’ll clear my calendar.
So to overshare something annoying and not horrific…
Had PTO this week. HOWEVER. We have audits due (will not explain further other than to say, stupid shitty busy work that I hate). So I worked all week, every single fucking vacation day, and got all my shit finished this afternoon. Next week will be 15 years at this company and man if certain people weren’t ruining the economy I’d be checking out other places, but I’m sticking with the devil I know. Anyway, definite first world problems, but this week sucked.
Thank you, please go back to staring at boobs and listening to new Sturgill.
Time to take another proper vacation
Hell, take two.
We need to alert the office when we’re on vacation for any length of time, which is fair. I generally send something like “hey, for the next 5 days I’m in Key West, and I promise I do not give a single solitary fuck what is or is not going on during that time”
“If you are reading this, I’m having a much better time than you are”
is my favorite out of office message
Today seems to be Bearenscheisse Day.
Big split in the fanbase between those like me who are happy the Bears didn’t overpay for Crosby and others who think they should have Ricky Williamsed their draft for him.
Also most still aren’t over the Pro Bowl Center retiring pre CTE or cirrhosis ages
I think he just didn’t want to move to Indiana. Can’t say I blame him
for devs or other extreme techies state of 2026
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xE9W9Ghe4Jk
Love this! Dude hit up some classic spots that aren’t around anymore
https://www.aguywalksinto365bars.com/bar-list/
Lady number 6 is doin it for me today. Thanks Ayo.
Mm
What’s the name of the DFO slack channel?
I got back into Slack through some fucking miracle, but can’t find you guys.
I just tagged you in a channel.
Also, use deductive reasoning.
Sent you something on Bluesky.
Just wrote back
This is getting sexy and mysterious.
Keep it to your fanfic
Oh it is. You’ll be happy you subscribed.
doorfliesopen
I already tried that.
Door Flies Open
Apparently spaces matter?
Wait, you’re in my DM list for some reason. You’re already part of the group.
I’m back in, through work, so you’re all going to have to keep it clean or I’ll get fired.
/braces self for tidal wave of donkey porn
Now THIS is a party
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvDtDd7WHKo
USA pitching leaves a bit to be desired.
Which is wild considering our ad men invented propaganda.
Pwnt
https://twitter.com/SaraCivian/status/2030092259849285926
Car joke:
being a carless american is awesome. financial harm caused by rising oil prices won’t directly effect me, and secondary effects aren’t something we are trained to think about. when the time comes i’ll just blame the rising prices i do experience on supernatural causes. maybe goblins
Soo… apparently I missed something about Fronk earlier? Can any of yinz fill me in?
It has been an extremely busy day here, and I get to work a bonus eight hours. Yay…
Here’s the post. Scary stuff.
https://doorfliesopen.com/2026/03/06/request-line-a-prom-to-die-for-part-7-death/comment-
page-1/#comment-1292873
That is definitely not the right link…
Copy the whole thing. It doesn’t paste properly.
He posted what happened in the Request Line thread. I don’t want to repeat it here because it’s his story to tell.
Found a funny:
sometimes a coworker will drop offhand a piece of lore that feels like finding an audio log in a survival horror game
Watchin da World baseball ⚾️
Goooo USA?!??
Hope this game is Rocking!
Big Dumper!
Crosby to the Ravens!!
You got scooped by 911!
Brutal
https://twitter.com/AnnieAgar/status/2030108708273795525
Really wish teams would knock this shit off while I’m trying to put together the annual mock draft.
Although I don’t think I’ve gotten to Baltimore yet, so this may actually help.
Basketball rap battles just aren’t what they used to be
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yddfvHmr9Os
the pushta t drake “battle” was good
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0lQC_fScFo&
as was eminem vs mgk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxQTY-W6GIo
and of course kendric vs “drake”
I’m drinking hard. Fronk scared the shit out of me. I was out and about most of the day, so I didn’t see his comments until hours after yinz did. I’m rattled, not gonna lie.
If there’s one thing I know, its that we’re a damn tight knit community and we look out for each other.
He’s gonna be ok, and so will you.
Have a glass of water and accept virtual hugs.
Fuck water, I’m slugging down red wine like Jeanine Pirro. Thank you for the hugs. I don’t want to make this about me, so I’m going to shut up for a while. Until the wine kicks in, then I’m gonna be bourbling like Fozzie!
‘The Faithful Women Of The Bible’ coming soon on Fox One?
Well, I guess it is time to check out ‘The Morning Show’ on Apple after all!
At this point I’m sort of rooting for The Rapture. Just get these assholes out of here already. I’m like 90% sure Satan is more chill than they are.
#4 did bukkake videos
Oh, sorry. Maria Ozawa. Brazilian Japanese.
Hey, a song about every guy hanging out here!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_98yx4vyR08&list=RD_98yx4vyR08&start_radio=1
The Muffs.
was disappointed by One Battle After Another watching it last night, lot of meh and disconnect but suppose thats movies now a day
I haven’t seen it yet, is it not good enough for the nomination or just not good?
felt like this https://www.youtube.com/shorts/6RjW8caS0AE just kinda messy and self obsessed and all over the place. Havent watched too many movies this year but not much above Sinner. Really enjoyed Bone Temple I guess but wasnt last year movie
least the brought me to this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJWi9Xy_Lto
When that dog bites her chin off this video is going to be why it doesn’t get the final shot.
Would you say it insists upon itself?
Not like The Godfather
I liked it more than Gatoraids did, especially Benicio and creepy-ass Sean Penn.
But I still thought Sinners was better. (Apples and oranges of course)
yeah liked both of them but comes no where close to Reservoir dogs, No Country for Old Men, or most of Tarantino moves
like they were good enough made rest of it that more lacking, and alot of false equivalency felt like Gavin Newsom produced it
My son turned me onto this band, I find them not irritating, and this video cracks me up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkSaOjwISHc&list=RDBkSaOjwISHc&start_radio=1
tasty legs and crispy thighs for sexy fridays
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-6JyDJayIw
Maybe I’ll just watch Wild Style. Haven’t in a while
https://youtu.be/H3n5zaUoecI
It’s odd watching a movie made back when people had attention spans get split up by shitty youtube commercials
Does yewtu.be work?
Nope. Shit.
will check!
Ordered shame pizza and wings for the longest time in forever. This place has the best hot sauce so I asked for a triple order of it on the side.
/it defies belief that a very small regional chain has a sauce that has the perfect balance between tomato and pepper and vinegar.
Every now and then* you just need to make a disgusting pig of yourself with pizza and wings.
*Every three days, or so I hear the 5th dentist, the one who doesn’t use Crest, recommends
My guesses-
-has to be white pepper or a mix with Tellicherry?
-a touch more tomato paste than any other BBQ sauce I’ve ever tasted
-I just don’t have enough knowledge of vinegars to hazard a guess, other than to say it’s not of the apple cider variety.
The Brazilians are walking USA hitters like the ball was covered with wax.
Wait a minute….
Watching the Dominican Republic vs Nicaragua, these Dominicans are good at the beisbol, who knew.
Any of you watch the Morning Show on Apple TV? Lady BFC and I are both totally over it but we’re powering through for completion’s sake.
Well I’m nawt going to watch now after that thrilling review
No, I heard pretty much the same thing and never started it.
Pluribus was great.
I watched the first season. I somehow watched the first three of For All Mankind. And the first episode of Foundation and some other thing. Apple shows are mostly not good. I’ve watched all of Slow Horses because I am a sucker for spy stories (I’ve even seen the first three episodes of Ponies, and that is dogshit) and I’m not sure it was actually good.
I loved Pluribus.
#2 gives me a good idea for Lady Balls…
You’re going to buy her a car?
Who’s got Canadian blood?
https://www.cicnews.com/2026/03/proof-of-citizenship-0372265.html/amp?utm_source=dlvr.it&fbclid=IwY2xjawQYKR1leHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZAwzNTA2ODU1MzE3MjgAAR5ao2zKbgFL1RXXO6VSpBQhK23DkwPoFJHPFJ_ecN3H60AR5PUKKisfCWndsg_aem_ciRGloMH6g8WUvGNLXs1jw
Like in jars? Probably scotchy.
Funny you should mention. AB Negative is on sale this week.
Alberta negative?
Now you’re talking Litre’s language.
Oh! I do I do!
Get your citizenship and complimentary bottle of maple syrup!
My cat is still young enough to catch enormous rats, but too old to kill them, apparently. She brought this monstrous fucker inside the house (through the pet door!) and he got loose, so I had to chase him around with a fucking broom until he finally slipped out through the patio doors that I’d opened. And I can’t even tell the Dr. Mrs. about it because she’d freak out and insist on cleaning every square inch of the ground floor now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zat9CRfUr-E
I’m in a music mood and I haven’t even started drinking yet! Don’t get much sexier than this song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-rLHYsQHgc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAOULUkxL8c
that freezer vodka ain’t gon DRANK itself…
Sadly, I have to work tomorrow, on a fucking Saturday, so the freezer vodka has to be rationed for the duration of the evening.
How about freezer gin?
Fancy!
[trembling in fear that posting a comment will cause the whole site to go completely Batusi again]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFHY0NBsoNU
Hello. Feels a bit empty.
I’m here all night, so feel free to contribute to the discussions!
So awesome to see Maxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Crosby will be a Ratbird for a while.
The RAADDUUHHS will have more draft picks than actual players on their current roster.
I feel that the current President of the United States is a tad bit underwhelming. Discuss.
There is a distinct lack of whelm to be sure.
I find him irritating.
He insists upon himself
I use that line so often.
at times? Even vexing.
A bit uncouth some would say.
He’s the man for his time and place.
Hey, good thing you were only one defensive player away from a Super Bowl, right?