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Sexy Friday – 20260320

Mr. Ayo

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TGIF! March Madness is maddenessing right now, so let’s get on with it. Far be it from me to distract this group from a bunch of young guys.

Word Count Filler Time

Speaking of which, let’s talk about weird issues that arise when flying to a random private island.

AeroFlot Flight Attendants
A Russian guy got upset when he realized the flight attendants were drunk. After lodging a complaint, the attendants responded by beating his ass. He was going to press charges, instead the airline suspended the ass beaters and the rest of the crew.

Germany TSA
A young (35) man was asked to remove his belt for security screening. He didn’t want to, but when informed he had to, he removed his belt, and his pants. Then walked through the screening with no issues. Yes, he was wearing underwear.

Deep In The Heart of Texas
A young man celebrated his 21st birthday as one does by getting black out drunk. The difference is this guy started a bender. 4 days later, still drunk, he broached a local airport and stole a Cessna and loaded it with a case of beer. And, yes, he has never flown before, thank you for asking. After only a mile he crashed into a massive power line, cutting electricity to most of the county, then plummeted 100 feet to the ground. Being drunk, he was just fine, and walked a few miles back to his house to rest. He was arrested the next morning by the police. Under questioning he explained he was heading to Mexico, but he wasn’t really sure.

I’ll save the other half plane stories for next week since I started this post way too late.

Click here to get to commenting

Sexy Time

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

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Brick Meathook

Thanks Obama

IMG_1254
3
Mr. Ayo

I’ve always advocated for 7 per gallon prices.

Unfortunately, even as we approach that price traffic has not sufficiently decreased to my liking.

6
SonOfSpam

Obvs it’s Carter’s fault.

1
WCS

FOX “News” now: GaS pRiCeS aReN’t ThE pReSiDeNt’S fAuLt!!1!

FOX “News” in 2010: ObAmA hAtEs HaRd WoRkInG MuRiCkAnS bY nOt LoWeRiNg GaS pRiCeS!1!1!”

1
Downfield Matriculator

Fightin’ Furmans causing the veins to throb in Hurley’s temple — not gonna lie, I’d be OK with a Scanners ending

1
2Pack

I like lady number 5. Thanks Mr Ayo. And if no pants speeds up TSA processing… I say where’s the bipartisan bill on that.

FB_IMG_1774064998191
Last edited 1 month ago by 2Pack
2
Unsurprised

Ah. I knew she looked familiar. Gemma Atkinson.

2
SonOfSpam

Huh, the Fightin Horatios are struggling against the OJFramer.

2
blaxabbath

Arizona beat Florida to open the season and they’ll do it again.

0
Gatoraids

at herpes infection rate…BUT WAS A CLOSE BATTLE

4
jjfozz

Drugs, alcohol, pressure, shit storm – all of these and more will never, ever combin eenouhg strength to make me dane at a weddingl

0
BC Dick

That’s reasonable. But if already married there’s no point. Single though, getting on that floor makes it happen. Also at this point you just gotta pop on that autocorrect, right?

Last edited 1 month ago by BC Dick
1
Unsurprised

streamed

(dot)

pk

/watch/richmond-tigers-vs-gold-coast-suns-australian-football-3361/echo/1

1
Fronkenshteen

I’m so old #7 made my stomach holler “AFFIRMATIVE!! FRIED DUMPLINGS!!!” before my dick could even get its glasses on and begin to assess the situation.

4
Mr. Ayo

Huh, I’m not as old as I thought then.

0
jjfozz

Sure I’ve had like, 12 beers and i SHOULD stick with beetrs cause righ tnow all is well. will i be a dumbass an switch to har dliquor/ or be smart an sty with beers/

tune in to find out!

3
Gatoraids

later tonight

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVU9MBtCbWM

0
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Why nawt both?

0
Unsurprised

Lightweight

0
Unsurprised

Beer is just going to bloat and fatten you.

1
jjfozz

but once i go to liquore, i think it’s the medication, i feel like shit the next day, all day

0
Unsurprised

In that case, it’s Miller Time.

0
Mr. Ayo

#UpForWhatever

0
Gatoraids

least with the Little Massacre on the Prairie View might get to see Rioux’s 7’9″ hodoring around by the end

Last edited 1 month ago by Gatoraids
0
ballsofsteelandfury

Wait. Did #8 change?!?

0
Mr. Ayo

Nope. She showed up in that outfit.

3
Gatoraids

glad to break the bracket for all you prairie view truthers

0
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s the only way UCLA is winning the trophy

3
King Hippo

If they do, we should use as evidence that EPSTEIN LIVES. Make a few quid on YouTube

1
WCS

Well, it’s wrong. Penn is Trump’s alma mater, and they already lost.

0
Gatoraids

because Penn State didnt make it?

2
SonOfSpam

Penn wins EASILY if all the Trump mentions are released.

0
WCS

See?

0
King Hippo

#DeepState

0
Unsurprised

I wonder if this AFL stream will work. We’ll see in an hour.

1
BC Dick

You’ll see. I’m not waiting around for that shit. I’ve got a fresh Morse episode that I know will work.

0
King Hippo

ok, I call this match for Mick Cronin’s White Sheet Army, so this pod of contests is over.

1
Unsurprised

Circling back to an earlier thread: It’s 2026, and people can survive AIDS but they can’t survive being hateful, 81-year-old assholes.

Last edited 1 month ago by Unsurprised
1
King Hippo

Mizzou and Da U is the only plausibly competitive fixture remaining. Other Hippo thinks that ain’t sufficient to stay awake whatfer.

0
Mr. Ayo

Someone forgot how Cinderellas are born. You never expect them, then you wish they would go away the next day. Wait a minute, is Cinderella a stand in for a prostitute?

1
SonOfSpam

Both are instructed to get on their knees, so

2
ballsofsteelandfury

One night stand

1
WCS

HI I’M MARK DAVIS AND TONIGHT’S GIRLFRIENDS ALWAYS GO AWAY WHEN HI I’M MARK DAVIS IS SLEEPY-SLEEPING

3
King Hippo

TEH STORK brings ’em obvi

1
Mr. Ayo

Folks, what a gloUrioUs Request Line we had today. The topic of East Asia went completely sideways almost immediately. Here’s the highlights I noted during the day.

  1. Southeast Asia Diversion care of Hippo. As noted, you can’t spell Southeast Asia without East Asia so it had to be included. This is not how that works folks. You can’t spell Sexy Friday without Rexy but we’re not including him in these posts either.
  2. Parody Asian Rap Diversion care of Dok. Were these songs about East Asia? Readers you know they were not.
  3. Don T complaining no one appreciated his Japanese salsa song, but he got an emotional support pizza, so everything is fine.
  4. March Madness babble. Always fun to intersperse the songs with words.
  5. Super Mario Bros Theme Song Diversion care of Brocky which is technically correct. As there are no lyrics the song is not about East Asia, but it’s from there.
  6. Fake Rikki appearance. Hope the mask makes it to the DFO Hall of Fame.
  7. Blair Witch appearance care of Fake Rikki. Good job, good effort there.
  8. Real Rikki appearance. Hope you’re enjoying Taipei!
  9. 911 tales care of WCS. And those were just the first three. Imagine what he’s dealing with at this hour.
  10. Ohio disparagement. As one does.
  11. Exactly zero guesses for the theme song. Rikki game me the answer beforehand and I didn’t have a single opportunity to tell one of you how wrong you were. Disappointing.
  12. In summary, this was a proper chaos thread for Friday afternoon. Hat tip to Rikki for the theme that kicked it all off.
8
Doktor Zymm

Technically, it had to be about East Asia and the things they do there.
That’s gonna be pretty much anything, they do lots of stuff there

1
Mr. Ayo

Alas, not one tentacle song was found

1
King Hippo

One could probably re-purpose (re-porpoise??) Particle Man as Tentacle Man

2
Gatoraids

best I got

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=De1LCQvbqV4

0
Gatoraids

did search for cover band of sometime like Imagine Bad Dragons but very disappointing results

0
Gatoraids

knew Cthulhu would get me there or close enough

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vbaL6qt6_c

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Not one song about Nuru massage.

Disappointed.

2
WCS

comment image

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Cannibalism

0
King Hippo

the other OTHER white meat!

1
Don T

Well the pizza, yes, but I’m fine also because, like I said, I am an adult. Peepl forget that.

3
Mr. Ayo

Lo siento senor T

2
King Hippo

Westwood Klavern and the Hitler Mice should be one spicy meatball of a Hardwood Derby.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Hitler Mice is probably my favorite JV nickname of yours.

3
King Hippo

I can’t remember if I agree or not? But I do chuckle typing it. Could be the drugs, tho.

2
Don T

Touch of Downs. Laughing now for the 400th time 🤣

4
Mr. Ayo

HOX!!!!

1
King Hippo

?????

oh wait he means teh SeaTruthers

2
Sharkbait

“I’d give my left nut to get a shot with the bike girl in the last picture”
–L. Armstrong

5
LemonJello

I read that as Louis Armstrong at first.

5
scotchnaut

#MeAsWell

4
ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

2
King Hippo

I mean, it’s the 21st century now, guys. Louis can holla white bitches freely now smgdh

3
ballsofsteelandfury

GREAT pictures this week!! I’m not sure which one is my fave but #1 is certainly outstanding.

1
King Hippo

Cornpone be fuckin’ up them Hardwood Dabo!s

0
scotchnaut

Down 12? Why not take an off-balance three-pointer? It’s what Jesus would have wanted.

0
King Hippo

I mean, even NC STATE beat those jackasses, On the road.

0
King Hippo

#5 and the finale, Hippo likey

1
Doktor Zymm

I have too much wine, lucky for me I can think of a solution for that!

2
scotchnaut

The Detroit Tigers depended on an Al Kaline solution for 22 years.

1
Doktor Zymm

Had no idea PH was a baseball stat

1
scotchnaut

Don’t underestimate baseball nerds.

1
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