Your “So Damn Tired and Uninspired” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

I just don’t have much in terms of creativity today, so I apologize for going to my weekend well to tie something into the Miami QB situation:

NFL News:

• Break out a fresh bag of “Feline Pine”, because Jay Cutler is going to start this Thursday.
  • At most, he plays the first quarter.
    • If he looks good, or at least good enough, then he’ll probably get a half in Week-3.
  • It’s the best for odor control, because he’s going to stink up the joint, you see.
    • Also, it’s the clumping formula because the Ravens.

• Another Dolphins note: They signed Ken Griffey Jr’s son Trey to a tryout contract.
  • He was cut by the Colts, who signed him as an UFA after the draft.
    • He played WR at Arizona.
  • If this fails, I’m sure the Reds or Mariners will sign him to a minor league contract.

• To avoid paying an injury settlement and taking a $4 million cap hit, the Eagles waited until Ryan Matthews had been medically cleared to return to practice, and then after an hour had passed cut him. (Based on the timeline of the stories filed.)
  • In pro wrestling, it’s called “getting future endeavored”:

• Well, it appears Zeke is going with the “crazy & vindictive bitch” defence.
  • Elliott will claim that Tiffany Thompson targeted him with false claims after he tried to end their relationship.
    • For example:

When Ezekiel Elliott told Thompson that she wasn’t welcome at his birthday party, she allegedly said, “That’s the worst decision you made in your life. I’m going to ruin your life now.”

“You are a black male athlete. I’m a white girl. They are not going to be believe you.”

Finally, if you want to be angered by the state of sycophantic journalism, have a looksee at what nfl.com has up about Tom Coughlin’s return to Jacksonville, and what he predicts his future holds.

It makes Peter King look like Bob Woodward.

Tonight’s sports:

• MLB:
  • Rays at Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • Tigers at Rangers – 8:00PM | FS1
  • Orioles at Mariners – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1
• WWE:
  • SmackDown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
    • again, the “go-home” show before SummerSlam

Thank God preseason games return tomorrow. I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO PEOPLE RIGHT NOW!