NFL News:
- Le’Veon Bell will return to the Steelers on September 1st:
9-1-17 😉 https://t.co/8Sj7MvzD79
— Le'Veon Bell (@LeVeonBell) August 23, 2017
It’s looking a tad more serious in New York, as reports are OBJ may miss the season opener at the Cowboys due to the ankle injury he picked up against the Browns.
- The MRI has revealed only a sprained ankle, not the tear or break that was feared.
- A definitive answer will come on the Wednesday before Week One, when they have to reveal the true nature of the injury to the League. Unless they’re the Seahawks.
- The MRI has revealed only a sprained ankle, not the tear or break that was feared.
- Learning from the Josh Brown situation, the Giants have waived accused domestic abuser OL Michael Bowie.
- He missed Monday’s game in Cleveland because he turned himself in on charges involving domestic assault and battery and two counts of malicious injury or destruction of property in Oklahoma.
Shows how much I know: The Browns are starting DeShone Kizer on Saturday versus Tampa Bay.
- Brock Lobster might not even play. It turns out, the Browns were trying to showcase him as trade bait during the first two games. Not getting him hurt might make him attractive to teams in desperate need of a QB but don’t want the “Kaepernick distraction” factor.
- and TV’s other available QB is “excited” for his TV debut in Seattle – where the whole broadcast transition started one year ago – this Friday.
- Brock Lobster might not even play. It turns out, the Browns were trying to showcase him as trade bait during the first two games. Not getting him hurt might make him attractive to teams in desperate need of a QB but don’t want the “Kaepernick distraction” factor.
Finally, according to ESPN it’s looking grim on the union negotiation front, as NFL Players Association president Eric Winston agreed with DeMaurice Smith’s recent comments that a work stoppage in 2021 is likely, given the current relationship between the union and the league. He elaborated:
“I’m certainly not worried about it,” he said. “I’m not going to be around that long. I don’t care if even if there are rookies in here. They’re not going to be playing that long. So if this thing dies out in 20 years, it dies out in 20 years. That’s not really my concern, and I don’t think it’s any of these players’ concern in here, either.”
From atop his golden pedestal, Roger Goodell countered:
“We believe that we have a labor agreement that is working well for the players, is working well for the NFL and, I think, as a result, is working well for our fans,” Goodell said. “We think we should continue that. Now, does that mean we think it’s perfect? No. Does that mean the players think it’s perfect? No. But this should be a basis for us to work together and get it solved.”
Yep – they’ll easily find common ground.
Today’s “I’m not going to waste time in front of the TV tod– hey, what’s that?” moment was brought to me by the last half-hour of “The Godfather”, and in particular this sequence.
Tonight’s sports:
- Baseball:
- MLB:
- Jays at Rays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Rangers at Angels – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
- Little League World Series:
- Texas vs. North Carolina (double elimination) – 7:30PM | ESPN
- MLB:
- MLS:
- TFC vs. Philadelphia – 8:00PM | TSN
- Whitecaps vs. Seattle – 10:00PM | TSN
- the border lineup coming north for this was almost an hour all day
I get that AMC makes “The Godfather” last four hours due to commercials, but how does “The Fugitive” get all the way to three? It was only 90 minutes long to begin with. I SMELL CONSPIR– ooh, look, “Godfather II” is starting.
Balls broke the sex robot……
AGAIN.
Balls is Richard Benjamin? IT ALL MAKES SENSE!
This is all I needed to know from that oral history of Battle of the Network Stars
Family trip continues. I may not make it. Here’s a summation of my past 2 days around other family members:
Stupid family member: *screams*
Me: What’s wrong?
SFM: Baby Wakezillaette almost got hurt by almost running into something
Me: Huh? Don’t scream about my kid almost getting hurt.
Rinse repeat about 10000000 times a day.
Then there are the Fucking suggestions of what Mrs. Wakezilla and I should do as parents..
Murderous rampage is nearing
I suggest more alcohol.
Since you’re on the ocean, maybe a boat ride for SFMs in the morning. Go “whale watching.”
On a wholly unrelated note, bleach doesn’t destroy DNA.
Funniest part of Godfather II
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYuE2RdCqqM
nipple attack is my preferred way of dying.
Balls died as he lived: Snu-snu.
Miami Dolphins preview; short version.
Don’t preempt me a week before my preview!
I regret to inform you that I did not win the lottery. Please send $12.
I also did not win. Also, I did not play. I prefer my gambling to be something I can tell at on the teevee box for a few hours and feel S-M-R-T about when I’m right 30-35% of the time.
YOU’RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!
Adrian Beltre is a badass.
This has been your Dirt Cowboys @ Los Angeles Dirt Rams of Anaheim Update.
“Dirt Ball Fever, Crotch It !”
h
ttps://68.media.tumblr.com/e21038a79cf334bde52c2d914fabdd06/tumblr_ot3vrhhYRg1s5rhdao1_1280.jpg
Lotto time?
Damn, again?!
Alright, fellow degenerates, I’ve got to call it a night.
Later, Taters!
the train pulled away as sadly, the NAMBLA convention had to end sometime…
Wow. I guess the Timbers just scored.
Gotta go all, looks like I’ll have a few busy days coming up. Wrecked my left knee while camping last weekend, now I got a storm to deal with.
Am I being punished for my fandom?
one would hope so, but then again, the Lawd has yet to smite these GREATRIOTS folk that still walk amongst us…
Charlottesville: We Must Say The Name.
“GREATRIOTS folk” are Nazis.
No. It’s because you touch yourself.
It can be two things!
I hear Rex Ryan has a leather bound first edition of this in his library.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoS1MCF8AeI&ab_channel=dudewitgun
Do I see?…… DAAAAAAAAAAADDDD!!!!!!
Wait. Where? How?
DON’T TELL DON’T TELL DON’T TELL DON’T TELL!
/i thought I found the tamest version of that screen grab.
No prob, I always wanted to know what those looked like.
…I do ONE photo shoot in high school…
http://instituteforpermanentmakeup.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/IMG_4053.jpg
But…but…WHY? WHY MOOSE?! WHYYYYYYY!?!?!!?!?!
You need to admit to yourself and everybody else that you REALLY needed to see a tattoo of many nipples.
I can’t, I won’t, I mustn’t!
I DID!
Consider it is in an unexpected place due to boob job and not vert discernible; flag is waved off.
I’ll allow it!!
https://pixhost.org/gallery/iyyu9
I like this cnn article about “the types of people who let Charlottesville happen” because, as an example of ‘normal white people’ being subtly racist (white flight, et al), they show this picture of people in Boston with the caption, “Think only white supremacists oppose integration? These ordinary white Boston parents protested busing in 1974.”
Like, no, Boston is full of a bunch of racists. If you’re telling me Bostonians are the bellwether for equal rights, I’m call #fakenews all over that. Boston is not a place where we EVER say, “I can’t believe something so racist could possibly happen HERE!” Those people Birmingham del Norte.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/18/us/ordinary-white-supremacists/index.html
“These ordinary white Boston parents”
… are white supremacists. They are only being overtly separatist, but Jesus Fucking Christ, their actions and behavior are the living fucking embodiment of white supremacy.
CNN is full of idiots. Ted Turner shouldn’t have ever sold it.
Seriously — the whole #fakenews thing is ridiculous but I’m also tired of hearing journalists say, “Well, yeah, we weren’t prefect before and we get that our botched ratings-only coverage of the ’16 election was a disservice to the country. But that’s why we don’t do that anymore!”
Then, just yesterday, I’m watching the local news report from downtown about how there was no violence at the Trump rally and that protesters even let some lost supporters pass through their designated area to get across the street to get in line. Meanwhile, CNN’s headline story is about how the city was on edge all day, preparing for violence (most people didn’t even know the Trump rally was in PHX or that day).
Similarly, The Washington Post (New Slogan: “Democracy Dies in Darkness”) is still busy throwing resources as fidget spinners and Taylor Swift’s new album.
But then we wonder how people can believe Fox News…
I saw a great tweet yesterday about the New York Times, which is currently setting the land speed record for most out of touch with the world, and its readership. It was a headline about splitting up the beach house inheritance between siblings, and yep. Nailed it. It’s for people who will never be affected by all the shit that’s going on, but enjoy reading poverty porn to feel better about themselves and so all the while the institution of journalism is just dying.
Poverty Porn is a great term.
Evening all, and fuck a bunch of damned Harvey.
At least her natural bush is period correct…
Maybe not the best choice of words.
“I began to lose conscientiousness as the huge labia enveloped my face.”
But I did not object.
Is this an excerpt from Emmitt Smiff’s autobiblioteca?
He may not know the difference between molasses and huge labia in written form.
That face says, “I’m getting real tired of your shit, Gary.”
Nope. No fucking way.
So you agree or are you some communist Bean-pop (TM) lover.
Resting Fish Face.
It’d be if the matrix was a dfo production and there’d be all this drama like, “Darkest Timeline Zach Morris, defeat Balls of Steel and Fury and you will be the new King Hippo.”
Hint: I’m easily distracted by butts.
And balls
On a scale of 2 to 11, how distracting is this:
Huh?
purple monkey dishwasher
Tossed salad
So once again, I am giving training this week. I have a group of customers in. Its for a medium voltage product that I have never actually commissioned in the field. So I have a low voltage simulator, but its not the same as a medium voltage machine.
A couple of our field guys got flown in to learn about to also learn about this new product. One of the field dudes is this utter prick. He spent the entire morning just shit talking our product. When I started talking about the customer support line, I tell the customers, and this is true, that when I was in the field, I used the same number for assistance.
He pipes in that he never uses it because the customer support people don’t have a clue what they are doing. This pisses me off for a couple of reasons…
1) This makes us look bad….in front of CUSTOMERS!
2) I answer the customer support line like 7 days a week. If its motor question or if its a problem we suspect involve the mechanical systems, I am the person that answers those questions. So he is telling me directly to my face that I am an idiot. I got a fucking two degrees in engineering disciplines. I may be a drunk. I might not be able to pass a psych evaluation, but goddamn it…I am NOT a fucking idiot.
3) This guy calls CONSTANTLY for help. I have to remotely carry him through literally EVERY…SINGLE…GODDAMN…ONE OF HIS COMMISSIONINGS. I have a unique name. I introduce myself every single time I answer the support line. This guy is so fucking stupid, he cannot put two and two together.
So I tell everyone to take a break and I ask the dude to follow me outside. I light up a smoke and ask him what his deal is. He acts clueless.
“You think you know how to commission this stuff solo and we are all idiots? Fine. You don’t need our help. You’re cutoff. If you call the 1-800 number, we are not providing assistance to you. Customers will notice you can’t get shit done. Management will notice that they send you to sites, there are always delays. You will stop getting assignments. You will get fired. I figured this will take at most 5 months.”
In real time, I witnessed the realization of how bad he fucked up on his face.
Good. Serves that fuck-clown right.
Would threesome.
Good, fuck him.
I hate the term specifically but, having to learn to really run some shit over the last year or so, “culture” is a huge deal. Guys like this dude, who have put minor personal gains way ahead of major company gains have just got to go. Yeah, you may have to work around them for a few months while planning for their departure but you’ve gotta treat them like the enemy they are.
this short film series intrigues me
OH MY!
Hello football peoples.
Hi there!
LA’s Rich Hill had a perfect game going into the ninth against the Dirt Stillers, lost it on an error, and then lost the no-hitter on a walk-off solo home run in the tenth.
The final score was 1-0 Yinzers.
That’s great run support!
I really wanted to see how long LA would let him go, and Yinz had to ruin it right away. Fuckers.
Okay. If a pitcher takes a no-hitter into extras, he shouldn’t get credit for a loss. If anything, the other players should get the loss for not plating one damn run.
I like when bad things happen to the Dodgers.
Packer preview done and ready for morning. Better late than never. Maybe the other way around. Mileage may vary.
Evening all.
Hi!
Aaron Rodgers is into dress-up now?
Now?
I just want you all to know that I don’t expect to be treated differently after I win tonight’s Powerball jackpot. I’ll be watching football just like everyone else. Only on my personal island fortress with the games being projected onto a 200′ screen.
I’d actually be a really good lottery winner. I’m very frugal and wouldn’t talk to anybody after winning so nobody would even know I was rich.
When my ticket hits tonight, you’ll all know
Same here. I’ll would setup a trust to protect me from spending it all at once. If I someone blow through $1,000,000 in less than a year, than I deserve to work at McDonalds until the years ends and I get money back.
I think you’d owe it to yourself to blow $1 million in a week… then you’d be tired of spending it and you would be a lot more frugal.
Do you have any interest in screenwriting? You just gave me a great idea…
I was joking, but now I’m not – when can we expect the gritty reboot of Brewster’s Millions?
RTD can hand your script to Fred Savage when he sees him at a restaurant!
That’s also in the plans. God gave me the money; I’m going to play around with it.
But the main goal is to retire myself, my family and my children and maybe my children’s children.
Also, make sure my extended family and friends don’t have to make huge payment like houses and college. Nothing fancy, but if they buy a simple $250k house once every 30 years, its on me.
Ha ha ha ha ha simple $250k house. You couldn’t buy a parking spot here in LA for that price.
No, no. I want the money to last. I’m staying away from LA. If I wanted to blow the money, I would give everyone $2.16. It would be easier than living in LA for five years and then declaring bankruptcy.
Good luck!
PS: Wanna help a brother out and pay off my student loans?
I paid my off myself.* You can pay yours off, too.
* I got in and out of college before tuition skyrocketed.
Went to Seaside, Oregon today. God damn, these people need to eat a salad. Even the mannequins were fat. If not for the beach, I’d have guest I was in Fat Humps land.
On a positive note, Ninkesi’s IPA is really good!
[waits for Wakezilla to admit that he went on a whale-watching tour and mistook the whales for people]
Funny you should mention that. I just came across a whale watching schedule. Apparently April and May are the times to watch whales here.
Moooooo
Guest?
Matrix 2 on Netflix.
Not sure these films withstand the test of time.
Matrix 2 ages poorly the moment it was made
The gf had never seen it, so we watched in like two weeks ago.
When Neo reaches into Trinity and pulls out the bullet, she laughed her ass off. When he reached back in and squeezed her heart, she said “shut the fuck up, this is ridiculous” and resumed laughing.
Agree it didn’t pass the Lethal Weapon 2 test.
Damn straight, no hot nekkid South Africans.
didn’t think matrix2&3 withstood the time they were in.
That’s what happens when you try to create a sequel to a movie that was written as a one-shot.
Really?
Now I’m actually impressed; knowing this I’d have expected something much worse.
Yeah. Matrix was based off of Jesus (if it wasn’t that obvious). So they basically ripped off the Books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John but with hackers, computers and leather.
When the studio saw money, they decided to make more. However, by then the writers were so full of themselves they felt like they had to write smarter than they are.
There is a lot of leather.
There is one part of the first movie that always annoyed the shit out of me. When I saw it in the theater, it completely took me out of the film.
So Keanu and female Keanu just murder slaughter the lobby of that building. You see all the beautiful gun-fu and chunks of concrete go flying.
Then they go into the elevator, rig the bomb, and Keanu utters that moronic line, “there is no spoon”. The elevator explodes when it hit the lobby.
Not a chunk of concrete on the the ground, a bullet hole in the columns, or a body on the ground. Its so fucking lazy that no one noticed that continuity fuck up. They literally slaughtered like 200 people down there.
I have NEVAR seen any of the Matrix films, nor do I care to.
Did the second and third film withstand the test of the time it was filmed?
TCM Right Now! Greer Garson is killing it as Madame Curie.
Damn it why is HBO showing the Dark Knight…. I’ve already watched the east coast showing now the west coast is coming on
Why watch it once when you can watch it twice?
THIS GUY MICHAEL BOWIE I CALL HIM THE DUST BOWL CAUSE HE WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR DESTROYING PROPERY IN OKLAHOMA.
This guy Michael Bowie I call him Sam Bowie cause he is a big bust(er)
I rail on Edmonton regularily during ice football season. This howevah is perfect.
http://www.ctvnews.ca/mobile/canada/absolutely-absurd-bride-groom-arrested-in-post-wedding-bar-brawl-1.3557668
Something similar happened in Vancouver a few years ago. Lets hope the story is as dirty as the Vancouver one. (Hint: the bride was split roasted )
Best actor of the early/mid-Seventies?
I’m going with Dustin Cazale-DeNiro.
Anyone else watching the shitshow that is The Fantasy Show on ESPN: The Deuce?
My thanks to all of you who called and wrote asking me to post this GIF again. I really appreciate the kind words, I truly do.
So here it is again, Airplane Starting One Engine
B-25? Do you do requests? Got any F4U Corsairs?
Also, Casey, please play “Hello” by Lionel Richie as my Long Distance Dedication.
I commented once before, but it must have been sacrificed to BLOGGHOR, goddess of Open Threads, so here goes:
Is that a B-25? Do you take requests? Got any F4U Corsairs?
And, Casey, please play “Hello” by Lionel Richie as my Long Distance Dedication.
I believe it is a version of the A-26.
The B-25 had a distinctive twin tail (that’s what she said).
http://www.howitflies.com/files/photos/A-26%20Invader.jpg
The B-25 Mitchell:
http://images.wisegeek.com/b25-mitchell-bomber-in-flight.jpg
That might be the very same A-26.
It is a restored Douglas A-26 Invader, one of the least known yet best aircraft produced during World War II. It had a 25 year USAF career, and many of the retired ones were converted to civilian use.
You gave these savages your real contact info?
Are you kidding? We turned your details over to the DOJ months ago.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/map-shows-food-people-hate-141219408.html
Okay. I know being an Ohio State alum, I was brainwashed to hate Michigan at Freshman Orientation, but you have to admit, hating cold pizza supports Ohio State’s theory that Michigan sucks.
Maybe they mistook “Cold Pizza” for that espn show where they haven’t talked about a michigan sports team in 15 years, boom roasted.
Cold pizza and beer is the Breakfast of Champions
Caught a stomach bug. Not a helpful father right now.
Sometimes, being out of the picture is best.
-My dad, going out for cigarettes 35 years ago
Well, that was five minutes well spent.
/no, i wasn’t touching myself
//yet
1987 Boomer Esiason: “I’m going to sit in front of the team bus full of scabs wearing our uniforms so future players will have a better future.”
2017 Eric Winston: “Fuck the future; what about me?!”
Trump is the head of the NFLPA.
And the league owners.
Bigger gottdamned National Disgrace; Herr Charlemango or Roger Goodell?
I’d just kill myself to keep from answering that question.
Goodell.
Stop trying to normalize that ginger’s behavior.