Your “WHADDYA MEAN THERE’S NO HOCKEY?!” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

• The Devil went down to Georgia, and he was looking for a Bears playbook to steal:
  • Chicago Bears first-round pick Roquan Smith got his team-issued iPad stolen from his 2018 BMW X5 when he went down to Athens to visit people at UGA.
    • The Bears claim it was password protected, so they were able to remotely wipe it clean.
  • Because I’m lazy, “In addition to the iPad, the list of items reported stolen includes Smith’s Rose Bowl and National Championship jerseys, his 2017 University of Georgia football helmet, and UGA “Athlete of the Year” trophy.”
  • There was no forced entry into Smith’s BMW, and according to police, it’s possible the linebacker accidentally left the vehicle unlocked. Some latent fingerprints were collected at the scene.

^{There is no fucking way I’m using the Primus or Rednex versions.}

• Despite, or likely because of, only playing eight games in two years, Dr. JJ Watt says he’s “feeling great” & looking forward to starting the season on time.
  • He claims to have found motivation from his girlfriend, Kealia Ohai, a member of the Houston Dash soccer team who returned from a torn ACL.

• Reuben Foster better ask for a judge versus a jury trial on his domestic assault charges, because she’s got a bombshell: “Elissa Ennis told police he threw her dog across a room during an argument.”
  • Sadly, some people might forgive giving a woman a smack, but no one forgives hurting a dog.
    • Reminder: Foster allegedly hit her 10 times and smashed her phone as she was calling 911.
      • She has since recanted, but one of the key witnesses for the prosecution is the driver of a car she flagged down & whose phone she borrowed to call 911.
    • Reminder: don’t read the comments attached to PFT’s story. Oof.
  • The preliminary hearing, which a judge uses to determine if a case goes to jury trial, is set for May 17.

• Well, this takes balls:
  • Hours after Saints RB Mark Ingram was suspended four games for a PED violation, it’s leaked via NFL bag carrier Ian Rapoport that he wants a new contract.
    • Ingram is due to make $4 million – which is now $3 million after the four games missed – this season.
  • Ingram will be allowed to participate in all of the Saints’ offseason work, training camp and the preseason, but he is choosing not to to pursue his contract demands.

Finally, Mike James was denied permission by the League to use marijuana as a pain-relief medication to avoid opiates. This would matter if Mike James had someplace to play in 2018.

• The important thing to learn from the story – and I’m surprised it’s coming from one of their media lackeys – is that it’s quite easy to skirt the test, and as long as law enforcement doesn’t get involved a player is home-free to use weed during the season, and is why the NFLPA doesn’t want to change the current policy:

Players who understand how the substance-abuse policy works and when the window for annual substance-abuse testing opens realize that, if they stop smoking in approximately the middle of March and refrain until their once-per-year test (the window opens on 4/20 and lasts until early August), they can smoke with impunity throughout most of training camp, most of the preseason, and all of the regular season and postseason. As long as a given player avoids landing in the substance-abuse program, the player can use marijuana as much as he needs or wants in order to deal with pain or simply because he likes it.

As a follow-up to my DFO University treatises on lagers & ales, the World Beer Cup was held in Nashville last weekend. (Mental note: follow up on gin vs. vodka draft)

Competition Highlights: (courtesy brewersassociation.org)

• Average number of beers entered per category: 82 (a 13 percent increase from 2016)

• Most-entered categories in 2018:
  • 377 entries in Category 93, American-Style India Pale Ale
  • 196 entries in Category 94, Imperial India Pale Ale
  • 196 entries in Category 28, Wood- and Barrel-Aged Strong Beer
  • 190 entries in Category 29, Wood- and Barrel-Aged Strong Stout

• Number of countries represented: 66 (a 20 percent increase from 2016)

• Countries with the most awards:
  • United States: 242
  • Canada: 14
  • Germany: 9

You can a list of all the award winners here or a list of just the gold medalists here. Beers from my neck of the wood took home 8 of the 14 awards for Canada:

Riot Brewing Co. – Chemainus, BC

• GOLD – Working Class Hero Dark Mild (English-Style Mild Ale)
• BRONZE – Breakfast of Champions Coffee Lager (English-Style Mild Ale)

Powell Street Brewery – Vancouver, BC

• GOLD – Old Jalopy Pale Ale (Extra Special Bitter)

Ravens Brewing Co. – Abbotsford, BC

• GOLD – Corvus Lingonberry Lime Gose (Leipzig-Style Gose or Contemporary Gose)

Coal Harbour Brewing Co. – Vancouver, BC

• SILVER – Smoke & Mirrors Imperial Smoked Ale (Smoke Beer)

Steamworks Brewing Co. – Vancouver, BC

• SILVER – Scarlet (Wood and Barrel-Aged Strong Beer)

Four Winds Brewing Co. – Delta, BC

• SILVER – Juxtapose (American-Belgo-Style Ale)

33 Acres Brewing Co. – Vancouver, BC

• SILVER – 33 Acres of Euphoria (Belgian-Style Tripel)

Whistler Brewing Co. – Whistler, BC

• BRONZE – Black Tusk Ale (English-Style Mild Ale)

^{(list courtesy BC Business)}

Well done, lads. I guess I know what this weekend holds for my liver.

Tonight’s sports:

• NHL:
  • nothing. Not a goddamned thing.
  • Stupid Jets couldn’t win a home clinching game. I’M NOT BITTER! YOU ARE!!
    • Further: I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO MY FAMILY!

• NBA: for those non-Canadians, the media navel-gazing over the Raptors demise was delicious
  • Jazz at Rockets – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN
  • Pelicans at Warriors – 10:30PM | TNT / TSN

• MLB:
  • no national broadcasts in the USA (aside from MLBN)
  • Mariners at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
• WWE:
  • Smackdown Live! – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

Did you know there’s a follow-up to “The Devil Went Down To Georgia”? I did.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghKHK0br8cE

AWFUL!