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Your “The Offseason = Beef Season” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

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NFL News:

  • Oft-injured Cowboys linebacker Sean Lee is saying he’ll be back in 2019.
    • The 10-year veteran has one year left on his contract at $7.0 million.
    • He’s played 10 years, but stats indicate he’s really “played” eight years.
      • JJ Watt laughs at his endurance.
  • Not done SHOCKING the world with their hiring decisions, the Jets appear to be signing Gregg Williams as their new DC.
    • Williams became available when he wasn’t re-hired by the Browns, despite a 5-3 record after replacing Hue Jackson at midseason.
      • Why, it’s almost as if he has some sort of reputation for difficulty or something…

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Avs at Sens – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Bruins at Flyers – 7:30PM | NBCSN
    • Sabres at Flames – 9:30PM | Sportsnet1
    • Sharks at Coyotes – 10:00PM | NBCSN
  • NBA:
    • Raptors at Celtics – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Pelicans at Warriors – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN
  • NCAA:
    • Auburn at Texas A&M – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Kansas State at Oklahoma – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Butler at DePaul – 8:30PM | FS1
    • Iowa State at Texas Tech – 9:00PM | ESPNU

If there isn’t a picture at the top, or this phrasing is still here, it means that work got in the way of making a quality post for tonight. I know what you’re thinking – WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?!

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Brick Meathook

Holy SHIT!

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Brick Meathook

This is what drugs do to us:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF2ZOBG0_N8

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Brick Meathook

Hey fellas I just did a huge bong hit. I don’t smoke the legal California weed very often, but I just did. It comes in a glass jar from the pot shop down the street. They have the Cheech and Chong “fiberweed” van from Up In Smoke parked out front :
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I just tried to make a dentist appointment online. Hopefully someone can use a PS4 to fix my teeth.

2
yeah right

They’ve got rotary cameras and high def and you can see your lack of dental hygiene in hi-def and it’s only awesome if you have dental hygiene skills.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

I thinks this answers your questions about this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QwfBCDZqxY

1
Ian Scott McCormick

Brooklyn Nets beat the Houston James Hardens in an instant classic. My God.
And they’re .500. Almost feels like an afterthought.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Woohoo!!!

2
Mr. Ayo

Celts and Rockets back to back? Damn!

2
Mr. Ayo

Ian’s identity confirmed:

https://twitter.com/mattufford/status/1085759400323760129

1
Mr. Ayo

Deleted tweet?!? The plot thickens…

1
Ian Scott McCormick

Now I want to know what that said.

1
Senor Weaselo

Peter Rosenberg’s now calling him Jim Harden. Fuck if I know why.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Where’s the Infinite Nets spoiler alert?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Ian Scott McCormick

IN has never been as much of a Nets recap as it has been about the experience of watching the Nets. I assume that given the ubiquitous nature of the Brooklyn Nets, you’re all well versed in their wins and losses before my Monday morning column.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I saw the mention on deadspin and my first thought was “I can’t wait to read about this in Infinite Nets.”

3
yeah right

And covered the over by a DAMN site!

1
Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’d like to welcome the Denver Broncos’ NEW STARTING QUARTERBACK!!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Accurate deep shoe
Takes coaching well
Gritty
Athletic

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Beerguyrob

**Rex Ryan cums**

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Unsurprised

If his last Mexican QB could take him as far as Nacho did twice, imagine him coaching one with an accurate arm.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

It’s interesting how they’re not even hiding that this (like most As Seen On TV products) is designed for older/disabled people.

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Redshirt

So tired. Must go to sleep. Hey, Superman vs. The Elite is finally on DC Universe!

Screw sleep. I’ll just down a Red Bull tomorrow before work.

1
WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Life without a tongue must be Hell

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yeah right

Hey Mr Hippo,

If you’re still here this one is right up your alley.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcYaAu01Q2Y

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, ALLEY! Sorry.

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King Hippo

Very nice!

2
yeah right

This is why I put up with basic alternative radio because every once in awhile while you find some new shit.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I ummmm…..I like her.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Kristina Mahal Joy, according to a cursory check.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Animals are piled up in my lap, the wife is making cookies…this is the best KILLSTORM ever.

7
WCS

KILLSTORM needs it’s own KILL KILL KILL revival post.

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Greyhound don’t float on water.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWgvGjAhvIw

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL Cows.
Show of hands? Who here has ever been shoulder deep in a cow’s ass?
Just me then….meh, screw it.
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Senor Weaselo

Better shoulder deep than head deep, I presume.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I just sent this gif to my gf. She told me I was disturbing.
I told her to get used to it.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[starts raising hand]

[pauses]

Wait…are we supposed to raise our hand if we’ve been more deep?

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Mr. Ayo

Definitely. She never called back though.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

SHE WAS ASKING FOR IT, DAMN IT!!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Some asshole shared the video of Queen’s 1986 concert at Wembley Stadium

h

ttps://openload.co/f/DcJlfg3a9FY/Queen_-Live_at_Wembley_Stadium_%281986%29.m4v

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Unsurprised

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Beerguyrob

Pretty good work on the tucking.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, that reminds me…

FUCK YOU WALT COLEMAN!

5
WCS

Wifey is the midwife on the phone who talked dad through the delivery. Been quite the day.

https://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2019/01/16/dad-delivers-baby-in-7-eleven-parking-lot/

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Unsurprised

She deserves a nice beer and a blowjob.

4
WCS

Well, already had a couple of beers, so…

2
Unsurprised

Get to sucking

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Awesome!!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Lotta wops up Donks WOO!! way now:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEmCne_WK28

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King Hippo

that’s-a-meeeee

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

It’s raining like hell in Los Angeles, has been for days and there’s a bunch more coming.

I just bought brand new wiper blades and I am stoked, dude.

I’m gonna go out later on and drive around with my new wipers on.

5
King Hippo

Like squeezing milk out of a bull’s tits, ain’t it?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

If you’re daring, find a clear patch of road with no drivers on it (which in LA might be impossible) and intentionally hydroplane. Its kind of fun in a stupid sort of way.

1
Redshirt

https://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/celebrity/‘to-catch-a-predator’-host-chris-hansen-charged-with-bouncing-checks/ar-BBSkBLm?ocid=spartanntp

There’s a joke or two here, but ones too easy and the other in bad taste.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s what we specialize in!

4
Senor Weaselo

He’s free to leave at any time.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that my cars cupholder perfectly holds a 32 oz crowler of beer, but it’s certainly a thing!

1
SonOfSpam

Najeh Davenport knows a thing or two about where certain growlers fit.

6
King Hippo

finally got around to eps 1 and 2 of Tru Detective. It’s very good, or at least superbly acted so far. Both lead detectives and the schoolteacher.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

I do. Every day.

2
Redshirt

(NSFW Language)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4-ChcL6Pzo

3
ballsofsteelandfury

That was a great movie!
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

LimearitaDudeRick pulling double (post) duty today. Thank you for your service.

4
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, so I took our old stereo and set it up in the garage. It’s pretty loud, by which I mean it rocks pretty fuckin’ hard. I need some suggestions for music I can truly ROCK OUT to tomorrow in a very LOUD WAY when I’m doing my chest workout. This will probably be first:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3Mo9UK-Nfc

1
Redshirt

If you’re gonna be working out in a garage, you need to have the Rocky IV Training Montage music. That is mandatory.

“Hearts on Fire” is optional.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Lb3MTlIrC4

3
Wakezilla

Great Christmas movie

1
SonOfSpam

This needs to be blasted. All over you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzA-V0YN3QA

2
SonOfSpam

Or this one. Has the word “ton” in the title and I listened to this album nonstop when I was about 13.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNlWcqBuBTM

1
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I would highly suggest this whole album, but track 5 is the tits, which, if you think about it, is the chest.

https://youtu.be/OtjDP00BiLo

1
SonOfSpam

Yeah, if you think about it, that’s true.

0
SonOfSpam

If you get so ripped you feel like losing some clothes, play this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjyZKfdwlng

2
SonOfSpam

And finally, for the thorazine cooldown:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImKY6TZEyrI

1
King Hippo

Royal. Blood.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BermIHe03zU

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

found a funny:

Doctor: for the last time, you don’t have superpowers

Me: then how can I can feel a storm coming in my joints??

Doctor: ARTHRITIS IS NOT A SUPERPOWER!

4
Redshirt

What Ohio requires to renew my vehicle registration: internet access and the license plate number.

What Ohio requires to vote in an election: a signature that didn’t even match the one I wrote 20 years ago.

What Ohio requires for me to renew my license: Birth Certificate, W2, Bank Statement, Vehicle Registration Notice, Blood Sample, Hair Sample, Mother’s maiden name, my paternal Grandmother’s maiden name, my neighbor’s Great-Great Grandfather’s city of birth, a American flag with 37-stars on it (either the two circles or the lined version), and proof of insurance.

5
Viva La Tabula Raza

Gotsta keep them illegal Mezkins from getting that driver’s license!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As someone who was the target of attempted identity theft last year, I am actually not terribly dismayed that it would be fairly difficult to obtain a faked photo ID with my details on it.

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Why are you equating the two? Voting is a right.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

If it isn’t clear that the Steelers’ window is closed, it should be clear now.

3
Redshirt

Both our teams are chasing the Cleveland Browns. It is the End Times.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

FUCK!!!!

[runs out to close car window which has been open for the last three days]

3
Wakezilla

Beerguy, you missed the YUGE news of the day: Former GM/Coach of the Roughriders, Chris Jones, has been hired to be a defensive coach for the Browns.

1
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

You Roughride long enough, you’re gonna end up with some Browns.

11
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

So I just discovered Najeh Davenport is on Twitter, and it’s a lot shittier than I expected. But not in the literal way.

https://twitter.com/najdavenport44

It almost seems worth it to join Twitter just so that I can send him the Request Line featuring him that I did. Almost.

5
Beerguyrob

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Beerguyrob

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Unsurprised

Do it, pussy

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