NFL News:
- Franchise tag updates:
- no new applications.
- What’s a NFL offseason without hand-wringing about the rules?
- The three topics on the agenda for the Competition Committee meeting today were:
- Replay review
- punts – make them more like kickoffs?
- the new helmet rules – good, or make betterer?
- Current thinking is that replay is a non-starter, but Sean Payton is on the committee, so who knows.
- The three topics on the agenda for the Competition Committee meeting today were:
- After a weekend of silence, the league has issued a new statement on the Kraft allegations:
- We will handle this allegation in the same way we would handle any issue under the Policy. We are seeking a full understanding of the facts, while ensuring that we do not interfere with an ongoing law enforcement enforcement investigation. We will take appropriate action as warranted based on the facts.
- PFT has all the lurid / icky details, while Deadspin has the breakdown of the possible sentencing options, which include:
- up to one year in jail,
- a $5,000 civil fine,
- a mandatory 100 hours of community service, and
- taking part in an education program on the negative effects of prostitution and human trafficking.
- Eagles players – who likely don’t have to take a pay cut if he signs – are advocating Le’Veon Bell join them in Philly.
— Malcolm Jenkins (@MalcolmJenkins) February 24, 2019
— chris long (@JOEL9ONE) February 24, 2019
- In a move designed to appease SHAN’KHOR, the Bears are considering bringing back Robbie Gould.
- If DOINK is a benevolent sidekick, he would then send Cody Parkey to the 49ers or – more likely – the Seahawks.
- One snag – the Niners might use the Franchise Tag on Gould to keep him around.
- Which would result in a guaranteed $5,162,000 salary for Gould in 2019.
- An upgrade on the contract he signed in 2017, which was a 2 year, $4,000,000 contract with the 49ers, including a $500,000 signing bonus, $1,000,000 guaranteed, and an average annual salary of $2,000,000.
- Which would result in a guaranteed $5,162,000 salary for Gould in 2019.
NHL News:
Well, today was the NHL trade deadline. Let’s see who screwed with their chemistry:
- Winnipeg got C
RyanKevin Hayes (thanks Sharkbait) from the Rangers in exchange for a 2019 first-round pick, son-of-Avs-shithead Claude Brendan Lemieux, and a 2022 conditional 4th-rounder.
- Not done, the Rangers then sent Adam McQuaid to **checks notes** Columbus (?!) for a 2019 4th- & 7th- round pick.
- Montreal traded French guy Michael Chaput to Phoenix for C Ryan Weal.
- Cela ne va pas bien dans les médias.
- Colorado got Derek Brassard from Florida for a 2020 third-round pick.
- They also get a conditional 6th-round pick in 2020 if Brassard signs a long-term deal with the Avs.
- Mark Stone to Vegas from Ottawa, where he signed an 8-year extension at $9 million per, in exchange for D Erik Brannstrom, F Oscar Lindberg, and a 2020 2nd-Round Pick that Vegas had in their pocket from Dallas.
- Wayne Simmonds to Nashville for F Ryan Hartman and a conditional 2020 4th-Round Pick back to the Flyers.
- Mikael Granlund to Nashville from Minnesota in exchange for Kevin Fiala.
- Forward Marcus Johansson from the Devils to the Bruins, in exchange for a 2019 second- and 2020 fourth-round pick.
My condolences to Scotchy, Maestro and any other Sens fans on this site. My condolences to Eugene Melnyk, who is fine right now but is taking a meeting at 3:00 tomorrow with a “S. Naut” about organ donations. I think it’s about promoting them via personal experience.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL: Leafs, Habs, Oilers & Canucks are all regional broadcasts
- Kings at Lightning – 7:30PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
- NBA:
- Warriors at Hornets – 7:00PM | TSN5
- 76ers at Pelicans – 8:00PM | NBATV
- Mavericks at Clippers – 10:30PM | NBATV
- NCAA:
- Men’s
- Notre Dame at Florida State – 7:00PM | ESPN
- South Carolina State at North Carolina Central – 7:00PM | ESPNU
- Oklahoma at Iowa State – 8:00PM | ESPN2
- Kansas State at Kansas – 9:00PM | ESPN
- Women’s:
- Notre Dame at Syracuse – 6:00PM | ESPN2
- Texas at Baylor – 7:00PM | FS1
- Oklahoma State at Oklahoma – 9:00PM | FS1
- Men’s
- WWE:
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
A full day on the sporting front. They even made King Henrik cry.
Henrik Lundqvist gets choked up talking about the Mats Zuccarello trade.
We're with ya Hank. #NYR pic.twitter.com/HyyfIS1NWS
— MSG Networks (@MSGNetworks) February 24, 2019
NO SMOOTHIES FOR ANYONE!
In response to all the bull gifs down below:
?itemid=3384760
In keeping with the Canucks telethon theme of overcoming horrible childhood illnesses, the Ducks have decided to play with the temerity of a shrinking tumor.
I can’t embed like a normal human, but this Stephen Merchant PSA is hilarious and brilliant. Enjoy!
https://youtu.be/QoZJvYEI1Kw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXECQwHyCns
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzykLRAD13Q
In keeping with the Canucks telethon theme of overcoming horrible childhood illnesses, the Ducks have decided to play with the temerity of a shrinking tumor.
I can’t embed like a normal human, but this Stephen Merchant PSA is hilarious and brilliant. Enjoy!
https://youtu.be/QoZJvYEI1Kw
Aaaaaaand the Avalanche are now 1-11 in overtime this year. It is to puke!
I’m almost impressed.
I’ve been trying to eat more vegetables and Mama Commander offered to pick up some celery at the farmer’s market.
“It’s really good. It has that more celery taste than those watery ones at the market.”
I don’t know why I thought having more celery taste was a good thing, but I’m here to assure you, it’s not.
Raw ended with a returning Dave Bautista interrupting Ric Flair’s birthday celebration to challenge Triple-H to a match at Wrestlemania.
So welcome back to 2005.
Giving new meaning to Raw dogging
Evening! The Mats Zuccarello trade to Dallas trade hurts as bad as the Sergei Zubov trade in 95.
?ssl=1
It hurt the Rangers, Rangers fans, the Stars, and most importantly, Mats Zuccarello.
/Still sad we never got Zucc, Buch, and Boo Nieves on the ice at the same time
https://streamable.com/vbmpj
Everything about Japan is weird…
DDT pro has really toned it down
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfxX3DTKlDo
Hitomi Tanaka, if I knew who she was, would destroy this poor fellow.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcGQBDQkwkM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqYUIIatb6w
Hey Stinko Man!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wI_PdFuhKjE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVmTw_xm5NY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTE7v_Kt4zw
To be clear, the people that brought forward this lawsuit are a bunch of shitheads…
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/federal-judge-finds-male-only-military-draft-unconstitutional-n975546
But I cannot help but laugh looking at the coverage of this from sites like jezebel.com (the rich, white suburbanite feminism) freaking out that women might have to register for a draft that will never fucking happen.
Somebody’s got to cook and clean.
One time on the carrier, I had to go up to one of the women’s berthings. Basically the fittings are part of damage control. So we scheduled a time for me and a couple of workers and an officer to in.
This isn’t actually weird. Like this wasn’t because it was a women’s berthing. We did the same thing for the men’s berthings because frankly, its like prison. You have so little space that just walking into someone’s berthing unannounced is just disrespectful. Furthermore, it gives the berthing people time to actually get the place somewhat clean.
I always assumed us mechanics had the worst berthing on the boat. It was a constant fight to keep the place clean.
I was not prepared for the women’s forward berthing. That head was a disaster.
No idea where I was going with this…
Women are gross. I’ve yet to see a selfie, especially a bathroom, where their living conditions would survive a Section 8 inspection.
Your entire experience with women is viewing selfies.
I haven’t seen a Kings comeback flameout this fast since… Harold Hadrada trying to co-conquer England?
A Habsburg tried to get an erection?
Bull fighting and hunting shows…
Am I the only one here that always roots for the animal in question?
I respect bull fighting more than any other sport killing events because the bull gets to occasionally take some motherfuckers with him
Not gonna lie…at least with bull riding, the bulls basically get points and ranks just like the riders. Pretty much if they kill someone, they get a decent retirement as a stud.
No.
Nope. I always root for the animal.
I was advised never to go to the bull fights in Spain.
In case people were confused, banner tourney voting starts Friday. Because that’s March 1st.
Because that’s what the prophecy foretold?
Just like the old gypsy lady said.
“How many fake accounts do you think I can make by then?”
-Inmate #43521 Illinois State Pen
Apple-peeling gifs are a dime a dozen on the internets, but this one is different.
It has a dog.
A dog waiting for a treat, and not a piece of fucking apple, thank you very much.
If I may be old domesticated dad here for a minute, that fucking thing was a life changer
The dog or the apple?
They’re both good boys
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWsSSJ5skx4
Southwest Airlines is a pain in the ass, btw.
Seriously. They messed up my reservations for California in June, and I’ve been on hold for like an hour.
I might be getting annoyed.
They’re the worst thing to come out of the South since… well, you know.
Larry The Cable Guy?
“You know you’re a redneck if . . . your name is Jeff Foxworthy”
Dude’s originally from Pawnee (City) apparently.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_the_Cable_Guy
Could always be Spirit!
That’s why I drive. I control where I go and where/when I stop.
I prefer to drive as well. But Dave can’t go cross country anymore. He’s too old. No wait, I’m too old. Fuck it, we’re too old.
But I finally just got my airline reservations fixed.
Legal weed in California in….
/checks calendar
3 and a half months. Wooooo?
Legal weed?
Hmm… if weed worth renting a car and driving 30 hours west?
I already told you I’m not driving.
And I plan to try to smuggle some good ganja back home this time.
Airport jail? Meh.
Not you, me!
Oh, sorry. I misunderstood.
You gonna head out? I would love that.
Kind of hard to explain that to work.
What am I kidding? The list of people who want to see how I would react getting high is a mile long and it includes the people at work.
Oh come on!!!! You can even crash with me. Hotel is paid for already.
“Oh yeah, old man?” -Dave, probably
You better hurry, because I’m starting a ballot initiative to repeal the legalization of marijuana.
It was more fun when it was illegal. Now that you can buy it at Walgreens it’s just boring.
LOL
You must not travel much.
Not as much as I’d like. I go on joyrides, but my car is getting up there in years and mileage.
I once turned a simple 30-mile trip to the ATM into a 600 mile trip all around Ohio and Michigan. Thankfully I didn’t have a passport or else I would’ve entered Canada.
RoboCop is the new Colonel Sanders, Why?!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uz1Jwyxd4tE
Rousey acting a bit more CTEish tonight
Nice to see the Kings finally got a jersey in stock for Derek Forbort to wear.
Me: Yeah, these wraps are really good but they go bad so quickly.
Cashier: You got the last one too, otherwise it was getting donated.
Me: Glad I grabbed it then. No free lunches, haha
Cashier: … they’re like, for hungry families, man.
Me: Hey I’m just sending them to heaven a little quicker!
He did not appreciate my humor at all.
“Find more jokes like this at doorfliesopen.com!”
We really need an ad campaign with tasteless jokes like this.
“OH MY GOD! THAT’S IS TERRIBLE! What sick website is this?! … What that address again?”
Monorail!
Oh, sure. When the Liberal make fun of hungry people, you all laugh. When the Conservative does it, suddenly I’m the bad guy.
#DoubleStandard
Double standards are like, twice the standards man.
In other NHL trade deadline news:
Vegas’ acquisition of Mark Stone also involved a Lindberg swap: Tobias for Oscar. ALWAYS ask first if you’re going to swap Lindbergs.
Ottawa also traded a player named Sieloff; Sens fans were briefly overjoyed when they heard that word come out of owner Eugene Melnyk’s mouth.
Foppish dandy Oscar Fantenberg was move that, like the siege of Boston, was meant to be a deciding blow but was ultimately kind of pointless,
Noted son-of-piece-of-shit Brendan Lemiuex also traded, will buy him a few more months before Darren McCarty is able to track him down again.
This dance is called “The Whalers of New Bedford”
That poor bastard.
lol falling for the fucking twitter old retweet trick. I suck.
#ChelseasTime…
So Hillary’s not running again? Good!
Can you drop a rope? I don’t think I can climb the Cliffs of Insanity back to the top.
I just want to note for the record, that if this was any other owner who got caught in a Prostitute Sting involving possible Sexual Trafficing, the NFL would not be so silent.
If this was Mike Brown, the NFL would be doing the Dispersal Draft right now.
Any other owner would’ve been forced to sell the team already.
White people…you ain’t allowed to make fun of black folk for stupid kid names no more…
Wtf. Seriously wtf. Poor kid. Life time of explaining her name.
From the look on her face, she’s well aware of that future already. (And that her parents are nutjobs.)
Bernie Sanders: “We don’t need Trump to divide us. Have you seen all the Democrats running for President? We can divide ourselves, thank you very much!”
Lightning looking like men among boys tonight against the Kings. I know usually LA would be into that sort of thing, but it’s sort of embarrassing at the moment.
I’m loving this Bob Kraft shit. Once again, we have some owner richer than god, and he is such a cheap ass miser that he has to hit up a Florida strip mall parlor, getting his jollies off by some poor Guatemalan sex trafficked victim.
Say what you will about double J, he gets the legal department involved to make sure the non-disclosure agreements are signed.
Its the same exact shit as Jim Irsay being so fucking cheap he can’t be bothered to pay an intern to drive him around and pick up his suitcase of pills.
And just like Irsay, if this was a black wide receiver, the NFL would be crucifying the dude via twitter #MeToo #NotAnotherGirl #FocusOnThisBlackGuyAndNotTheBrainInjuries
Remember when Zeke got suspended despite his accuser admitting it was all a fraud scam but the NFL said he was being punished for even being in a position to make the league look bad? I remember.
In insanely shocking news, the head of barstool sports thinks its irresponsible that the liberal socialist media were to connect Bob Kraft with sex trafficking…
https://video.foxnews.com/v/embed.js?id=6005971211001&w=466&h=263Watch the latest video at foxnews.com
“They can’t beat them on the field…”
Can’t he just get tanning-induced melanoma and die already?
/Free PFTC
Fuck PFTC. You roam with curs, you get rabies.
Maybe this is not a true statement but I have to believe Kraft knows those women are slaves in there too. I mean, what about his decades of real world experience would suggest he’s just obtaining the services of an off the books independent contractor? I mean, that place was basically a brothel — and someone sent him there knowing what it was.
This is why we need a wall.
They don’t deserve the mercy of being lined up against a wall.
what the what?
https://www.theverge.com/2019/2/25/18229714/cognizant-facebook-content-moderator-interviews-trauma-working-conditions-arizona
Maybe the problem is your job pays $28k/year
Suddenly my job doesn’t seem so bad.
Among many, many, many other things.
Burn down Facebook and exile Zucc to the moon.
I mean he got hurt in his first game in Dallas and Henrik got choked up about him gone, why send him to the moon?
(peaks head in covered in white powder)
Roman Reigns beat Leukemia. And I remembered to delouse myself this time before coming from the Site Who Must Not Be Named.
It’s powdered sugar sir. It’s delicious.
THIS REDSHIRT I CALL HIM O.T. GENASIS BECAUSE HE’S IN LOVE WITH THE COCO!
Is it too early to go to sleep?
I’ve taken a nap already.
(looks at empty tray that used to hold 2/3rd of a Cookie Cake)
I don’t think I’ll be sleeping for a few days.
I only just woke up sooooo….no?
Or maybe yes.
I dunno, I’m still half asleep.
if I could sleep 21-22 hours a day, I sure as fuck would.
I’m the opposite. I think I read there was a condition where people can function with 2-4 hours of sleep. That would be nice.
Okay, I’ve got to admit this is pretty good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehpmyxH3PLA
LOL
Ally dint do so goodly.
Jeses another youtube hole to fall into, just what i needed
Actually it was only 4 videos, my nightly productivity has been saved
Scientists are still looking for a number negative enough to use for my rating of this season finale of True Detective.
/There better not be anything redeeming in the last 5 minutes or I’m going to look quite the fool
Gonna go with a solid MAYBE on whether anything happened.
it was…a bad finale. SO BAD
found a funny:
it’s called being condescending maybe you’ve heard of it
Apparently, it’s now required that all Philly sports highlight videos use Meek Mill. Tough, but fair. Go get you a Cup, Wayne.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFXV-ewyi4M
Possible sentencing for Kraft? Ha ha ha ha ha ! ! !
He’ll receive an apology from the Jupiter city council and the State of Florida, plus a $59 refund.
He will, however, have to turn in his “Get The Tenth One Free” punch card.
$59? He’s definitely asking for the tip back too.
He didn’t tip you say? Well, not with cash anyway. [Bow tie spins]
According to The Wall Street Journal:
Well there’s a horrifying image.
That’s why I said PFT had them. Why would anyone want to read what Peter King likely masturbated to in the Acela Quiet Car?
Yes, that was mean of me to post that.
So, can we go after Schefter for most likely lying about that more famous person that should have been arrested with Kraft? Because no one more famous than Kraft has been arrested since and I have a half finished Putin post waiting to go up. . .
That’s fair. Wonder if Schefter was running cover for Kraft by trying to draw attention away.
Oh nooooooo. Never.
Kevin Hayes doesn’t seem like much of an upgrade. Is he even a legit #2 Center?
I am quite pleased with how today went for the Jets.
Does anyone have ideas on engagement stalling tactics? This broad will not let up and I just don’t want to spend money on her when booze is there and has always treated me well.
Ask her for a left handed beer glass or bottle opener.
Have you tried fucking her sister?
In Canada, that’s called the “Martin Brodeur”. You get to keep all your trophies, but you have to surrender more than 50% of your other assets in the process.
Become a mean drunk.
It’s common knowledge.
Kevin. Kevin Hayes.
Also, That Lundqvist interview is up there with the game 5 SCF OT winner in hockey related things I never want to see again.
If you’re gonna cry, cry like a man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOPLJQuVm_I
The classics never get old.