NFL News:
- Mike McCarthy has OPINIONS about how the Packers treated him, and went deep with ESPN. Here are my pull quotes:
- He “did not see it coming” after the Arizona loss, or did he hear any of the boo-birds that preceded the game.
- “It’s clear to me now that both sides needed a change.”
- “Mark said it was an ugly loss, and it was time to make change. He said something about the offense and the special teams, and he didn’t think it was going to get any better. There was no emotion to it. That was hard.”
- “Mark said it was an ugly loss, and it was time to make change. He said something about the offense and the special teams, and he didn’t think it was going to get any better. There was no emotion to it. That was hard.”
- “The emotional challenge of shifting from humiliation to reflection was a very important step in seeking clarity so I could personally grow from the experience of my entire Green Bay Packer career.”
- “It was hard to swallow.” (Likely the first time he’s ever said that.)
- Feel free to go read the whole thing.
- Not funny – Matt Stafford’s wife is getting surgery for a brain tumour.
- She started having dizzy spells after giving birth, and developed vertigo soon after.
- An MRI showed a benign tumour on her cranial nerve.
A sad anniversary in Canada today, as the nation marks one year since the Humboldt Broncos bus tragedy.
The driver of the rig involved, Jaskirat Singh Sidhu, pleaded guilty to 16 counts of dangerous driving causing death and 13 counts of dangerous driving causing bodily harm. He was sentenced to 8 years in prison for vehicular manslaughter, and will be deported back to India after his sentence concludes.
A positive that has come out of the tragedy is that organ donation awareness has increased, in part due to Logan Boulet signing his organ donation card on his 21st birthday. That act allowed his organs to be donated to six people who are now living extended lives due to his selflessness.
His family honoured that act by working to make April 7th “Green Shirt Day”, a day to promote & encourage organ donation awareness & registration.
April 7 will be inaugural Green Shirt Day https://t.co/xTmzFGTkX5
— Green Shirt Day (@GreenShirtDay) March 5, 2019
Sports Illustrated also produced a short documentary on Logan,
and now it’s all dusty in my classroom. No – you stop cutting those onions.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Senators at Rangers – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
- Blues at Blackhawks – 8:00PM | NBCSN
- MLB:
- Cubs at Braves – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
- NBA:
- Raptors at Nets – 7:30PM | TSN4
- Celtics at Heat – 7:30PM | NBATV
- Rockets at Clippers – 10:30PM | NBATV
- NCAA:
- CBI Basketball Tournament:
- Finals Game 2: South Florida at DePaul – 8:00PM | ESPNU
- CBI Basketball Tournament:
Mike McCarthy: The 25th winningest head coach of all time, and yet the Jets passed him over for Adam Gase. WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU?!
If you have twelve minutes, you could do worse. FUCKING COBRA TRAP!!
https://youtu.be/MWPFqqtaLTc
Liquor costs at the restaurant clocked in at 50%. Oof!! That’s a fucking HEIST going on. Security cameras will be installed this month. I’m gonna start writing weird shit like “FIERY KILLROCK” on my aprons.
Helluva tapeworm.
My wifi eats balls, lady BFC’s on the road, and I made myself go to the gym tonight. Time to call it a day.
What is this new gold and red pin that I keep seeing politicians wearing on their left lapel instead of the American flag? Is it a House Targaryen symbol?
Was it on Republicans? They could just have fucked up their swastika colors.
This one?
https://twitter.com/edokeefe/status/1080850751981830145
Probably? I’ve seen it on both D’s and R’s so far.
“If it’s Democrats, it’s the Russian hammer & sickle. TOLDJA THEY’RE THE REAL TRAITORS!”
— Sean Hannity
This is his house
Here’s a comparison between a straight-edge line drawn using a 1961 K&E DeciLon slide rule (top) and a modern Shinwa ruler from Japan. The lines were of course drawn with a 1.1mm Durolite with an IBM Electrographic lead.
The top line clearly benefits from the Deci-Lon’s eight Lon scales (as opposed to the six Log Log scales of it’s Decitrig predecessor), while the hardened stainless steel of the Japanese challenger certainly makes this a close call.
The winner? I’d say that we all win, but I win a little more than you do. Thank you and god bless.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3M_Gg1xAHE4
Well I, for one, certainly feel like a winner now.
Maybe try it with some Hanzo steel?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnjtQQQaDKo
I honestly dunno what she was trying to do there.
But she did seem attractive.
I mean ya know, before she broke her face on the sidewalk.
What do you mean? Breaking her face was exactly what she was trying to do.
Kudos to her then I guess on a job well done?
Pretty sure I did the same thing on my first ollie attempt.
Fortunately, my face was already described as “busted”.
So you jumped off the board with both feet at the same time? I’m not sure that’s what she was trying to do.
Dammit, Dee! You and your friends get out of here!
BIRD!!!!!!
Yep, learn your lesson now kid….
Hot blonde chicks always fuck you over.
I mean, ya can’t blame him.
This reminds me of my last threesome. Couldn’t get either of them wet enough and turns into a train wreck.
Hehehehe
I’ve done this more times than I care to admit, and I have a 175 average.
THANKS TRUMP TARIFFS!!
I’m hungery.
MLB: The SHOW (c. 1954)
So, it’s still a strike, right?
I saw Fred Flintstone do that.
Wwweeeeeeeee!
Truck driver, to passenger: “Feel like this thing’s running a bit lighter?”
Hey, we’re getting better gas mileage all of a sudden!!!!!
These pallets aren’t going to deliver….
Wait, what?
Honestly, that looks more fun.
For the dad since little Billy was never heard from again.
“Dammit Bobby!! I said take out the trash!”
He’s halfway there.
Seems like a last minute addition to put the stripper pole directly above a stairwell.
9/10….would pedal into her backwards….if you know what i mean.
I’d be fine with just the bicycle seat after she’s done.
Hey look! Here’s my five new vintage 1.1mm Durolite mechanical pencils that I bought off eBay! They just arrived today!
That’s them in the foreground. I’ll replace the erasers with some new ones from Autopoint, and I’ll toss the leads that came with them and load authentic IBM Electrographic leads (no longer made) that have a high graphite content and a clay base, which makes them soft and silky smooth and unlike anything you’ve ever written with, Blackwings be damned.
(In the rear are two Bell System stamped Durolites, three U.S. Government stamped Autopoints, and three more blue Durolites)
Here’s my arsenal of vintage IBM 1.1mm Electrographic leads and brand new Autopoint erasers:
If you took one of the U.S. Government Autopoints and used the 1961 K&E Deci-Lon slide rule (top), you could work on the design, construction, and or operation of Project Apollo and fly yourself to the moon and back:
I’m such a Luddite! But I have awesome handwriting!
Sexy
Nice post. Nerd.
Holy shit, it’s like I’m at Walmart all over again.
More like can’t-fit-though-the-DOOR Mart, amirite?
I’d say it’s more of a RESCUE-HER-BY-CUTTING-A-HOLE-IN-THE-WALMART
Hips don’t lie!
It delivers on its promise.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlJSRhs64VY
Did we just witness the death of two fucking idiots?
At least one got out. The other has free disability.
I don’t know how you do it, but that doesn’t look like fucking to me.
Defective Shelving!!!!!!!!
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Ice Giants lose to the last place team in the league. #LoseForHughes
From the banner pic, McCarthy could sub in for Tucker Carlson and no one would notice.
Teams from Toronto beat both our Nets, and the Orioles (still have em right where they want em).
A plague o’ both your houses!
Aye. The sea, she is a cruel mistress.
He seems to be enjoying his day at the waterpark.
At least until the Super Water Wedgie……..
Who has two thumbs and no longer needs that colonoscopy next week?
(wait, does he still have both thumbs?)
Maybe he did enjoy that part.
I guess Stafford’s “eat until you have a layer of protective head fat” diet didn’t work out for the missus.
Pin the franchise tag on her, because she’s a keeper.
Yeah she is.
She’s a spitter. 3/10, would bang in a heartbeat
#BFIB? PRESENT!!!
They’re not saying HISSS. They’re saying NI—
/A GIANT HOOK DRAGS UNSURPRISED OFFSTAGE
Snake orgy?
So that’s how Bailey Jay became so flexible— I mean, I have no words. Eww.
Jeeves has run my bath. I’ve instructed him to drown me. Good night to you all, forever and always.
I think this is a set-up for one of next season’s Hobo Killin’ Tales…
Using an iPhone is immensely easier for my fat fingers with this Bluetooth keyboard.
JFC. Get these losers off my fucking planet.
Swiping right or left?
Right on her, Left on Jarvanka using WhatsApp to communicate nuclear arms sales to the dumbest man in the world (MbS, not Trump. Trump’s a close #2.).
Worst Decision #1: moving in with a girl that morphed into a cokehead.
Worst Decision #2: deciding to read The Roman Empire and the Silk Routes*
*Come for the never-ending references to silk-centric fashion by Roman historians! Stay for the never-ending references to silk-centric fashion by Roman historians!
/GAH!
Fixed that for you. No, wait, we can do better.
There we go.
I hate you.
I’d gift so many people with these.
I’m fucking dying. Hilarious!
Awwww
Fixed that for you. No, wait, we can do better.
There we go
I hate you.
Mr. Ayo bucking for a senior position in the current Presidential Administration, I see.
Aim high, and settle for anything is my philosophy.
Those are the same instructions Katinka was given by Herr Charlemango himself!
Thanks, Obummer-era OSHA!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYnFIRc0k6E
I forgot the URL for these to embed. Oh well.
That’s the same for O- blood. The blood bank keeps calling so much, I figure if I don’t donate, I’ll probably wake up in some seedy motel with my arm bandaged and a sugar cookie and apple juice box next to me.
Eli would never leave his juice box behind.
The joke’s on the organ harvesters if they tried that with most of us.
Please settle a debate in my family. The menu said “Fish and Chips”, so I cooked fish and fries, only to be told that it was supposed to be tater tots instead of French fries.
Are “Fish and Chips” fish and fries or can it be fish and tater tots too?
Tots are not Chips here or overseas. You are correct.
Tell your son he can have tots on Saturday mornings with cartoons like all decent people that grew up in the 80s did.
My family rule: “If you don’t like what the kitchen serves, you’re welcome to take your business elsewhere.”
That’s #2 behind: “If I’m driving, if you’re not in the car when I get in, arrange for alternate transportation.”
Dad? You said you were just going out to get some scratch-offs and smokes!
I thought you’d figured out by know I won.
Oh, and you’re the mailman’s son.
**shrugs**
“Math checks out.”
Fun Fact: “Fish and Chips” was a proposed crossover buddy-cop show starring Abe Vigoda and Erik Estrada.
I WANT TO SEE THIS SHOW. Wait…Abe Vigoda’s dead. EVEN BETTER.
Your family is sucking what’s left of your sanity out of you. This debate is beneath you. Move on/out.
He should only be into tots until 14. After that it’s either chips or tits or get out of my house.
Tots aren’t chips, but tater tots fucking rule.
Jesus; how fucking sheltered are you?
Have you seen the Brendan Frasier comedy Blast From The Past?
Green Shirt Day is great. Greenpeace is great. Green Day sucks all the balls.
Are you trying to get tWBS to spam their “music” here, tonight?
No worries-tWBS never over-reacts to anything, ever…
/waits
//starts giggling
There should be an automatic commenting unit (a “bot” if you will) that just replies this to every one of his comments.
THEIR TAKING OUR JERRRBS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rswiq4Hi-tc
I like that green shirt day shirts are green shirts featuring an image of a green shirt.
GREENCEPTION
Is Blue Bunny ice cream not available in NYC and the surrounding areas? Maybe THATS what decided things.
These folks on reality shows must be held to a higher standard. Sure, you can tattoo the visage of Lady Gaga onto the balls of an internet comic. That’s all well and good. But can you follow that up? Can you get elected to the council of a small town and improve its infrastructure with the issue of municipal bonds that return more than 16% after twenty years?
I will only accept “These folks on reality shows must be fed into a wood chipper.”
Speaking of which, where was today’s TIT update?
Paging Balls to the content factory phone.
It was originally scheduled for Tuesday, but I couldn’t complete in time. I’m aiming for early next week.
*updates reading schedule*
Can’t wait to see how these lovebirds end this season.l
GODDAMNIT NO I NEED IT NOW.
It was substituted for tots in Redshirt’s kid’s meal.
So now my Nom de Internet is offensive to Organ Donors? Oh, perfect!
It just means in the future, we know you will be one, as long as you aren’t totally vaporized.
That is one hell of a pop rock.
You know who else was a redshirt? Scotty. Also, Kyle. Plus Uhura but that may be considered a redskirt.
They survived!
Not to the coloUr bIind ones!
NY Jets’ new jerseys are exactly like the Saskatchewan Roughriders which is fitting because they definitely play like a mediocre Canadian football team
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71yADAShlQs
Day 3 without drinking: I have been told that I am an angry sober.
You might want to ignore that voice in your head. He’s a son of a bitch.
Man, I can’t even imagine what LCSS is gonna be like if he tries to go three days *and* three nights without drinking.
Those poor Super Soldiers that have to deal with a sober Low Commander!
Won’t someone think of the Super Soldiers!?!?
At this point, you’re probably hearing a voice instructing you to kill everyone you see, or if you already hear that voice when you were drinking, it will be louder and making good points and valid reasons. That would be detrimental.
Where did you think my BOLTMAN writing came from?
“Green Shirt Day? What about brown? I think that might give our movement that little extra putsch!”
-Hitler, 1923
“Fine people on both sides.”
— Donald J. Trump, 2018
Mild taek: If the government is actually serious about honoring Humboldt Broncos players, they can start by removing stop signs on 100km/hr+ highways.
It’s ass backwards to me that there are stop signs on the middle of a highway. That’s hard for a small car to suddenly stop, let alone a semi.
My hometown just added speed bumps to the highway, and they’re about to put in round-a-bouts. I want to throttle the entire city counsel.
The only problem with roundabouts is that Americans don’t understand them.
In countries with good drivers, they’re awesome.
Given that, speed bumps on a highway is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.
I learned to drive in Washington D.C. where there are traffic circles that cause foreigners to shit their woolen pantaloons. I was driving a stick-shift downtown when I was 14 years old, folks.
FUN FACT #1: Pierre L’Enfant layed out the Washington street system in a pattern of circles with avenues radiating like spokes. This was done specifically so that if there was a revolution or armed insurrection the Army could seize just the circles and have clear lines of fire down all the avenues.
FUN FACT #2: “Roundabout” is a metric term used by wooden shoe wearing soccer loving yodelers in their thatched huts. Real Americans, who traditionally love to fight and love the sting of battle, call them “traffic circles” and also love to call in napalm strikes on thatched huts and other enemy fortifications.
Meathook 2020, motherfuckers!
He’ll get the Trump vote.
True on the first two.
You can get magic air if you are going fast enough.
There’s a place on the highway, in Quebec, on the way from Toronto to Montreal, where a train, a FUCKING TRAIN crosses the highway. seriously WTF
I would award extra points if there were no arms coming down to stop traffic.
That’s one advantage about video games, you can drive like a maniac with no consequences.
In Real Life, I’m drive safer and slower than an old man behind the wheel.
In Saints Row or Ghost Recon, you put me on a motorcycle and suddenly I’m one with the Matrix.
Also, I have one races in Need for Speed with my car driving on the side of a building as it crosses the finish line.
That seems like the kind of gamble Hippo would kill to bet on.
I think they’re farms in Texas with access roads end at Interstates. Plus there’s a park access road connecting to I-40 in the mountains near the TN/NC state line where its very hilly and winding. Its like they’re trying to summon an accident.
If they tell Matt hat brain cancer tastes like Moonlite Bar-B-Q Inn, that thing will be taken out no time.
/Prayers for the Mrs
/Edit: fuck autocorrect
Captain Bluebunny should rot of gonorrhea and burn in hell
I dunno, as far as I can tell, he’s the main reason the Packers haven’t won more Super Bowls.
After all, he killed a lot of children.