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Your “What’s Old Is New Again” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

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NFL Noise:

  • Break out the juice boxes, because Eli Manning is coming back to active duty!
    • Current & future disappointment Daniel Jones is in a walking boot with a moderate high ankle sprain, making dragging Eli out of mothballs a necessity.
      • If he does play on Monday night, Eli would meet the Eagles for the 31st time in his career. The Giants have gone 10-20 in the first 30 meetings.

  • In other injury/lineup news:
    • Running back injuries have led the Chiefs to bring back Spencer Ware.
    • Defensive injuries have led the Saints to re-sign Manti Te’o.
  • Since it’s a slow day, let’s do a little Stealing From Crimebeat!:
    • Colts backup & Jim Kelly’s embarrassing relative Chad Kelly is facing multiple lawsuits from his time in Denver.
      • He’s being sued by Von Miller’s personal photographer for injuries suffered as a result of an assault.
        • The photographer wants damages to cover “without limitation, pain, suffering, impairment of quality of life, physical impairment, lost wages, loss of earning capacity, and medical expenses.” No dollar amount is listed.
      • He’s being sued by the family of the house he broke into on November 29, 2018.
        • They claim they “continued to suffer from this experience with anxiety, depression, terrors, nightmares, hypervigilance and fear.” No dollar amount is listed.
    • LeSean McCoy has settled the lawsuit brought against him by his ex-girlfriend.
      • She accused him of orchestrating the home invasion at a home he owns in Milton, just outside Atlanta.
      • The woman – Delicia Cordon – was bloodied and beaten, and $133,000 worth of jewelry was stolen from the home.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Avalanche at Leafs – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Blues at Penguins – 8:00PM | NBCSN
    • Capitals at Kings – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Warriors at Bobcats – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Heat at Celtics – 7:30PM | TSN
    • Lakers at Jazz – 9:00PM | NBATV / TSN4
    • Kings at trail Blazers – 10:00PM | TSN
  • NCAA:
    • Hoops:
      • Pennsylvania at Villanova – 6:30PM | FS1
      • Virginia at Purdue – 7:30PM | ESPN2
      • Notre Dame at Maryland – 7:30PM | ESPN
      • Nebraska at Georgia Tech – 7:30PM | ESPNU / TSN3
      • Texas Tech at DePaul – 8:30PM | FS1
      • Wake Forest at Penn State – 9:15PM | ESPNU
      • Wisconsin at North Carolina State – 9:15PM | ESPN2
      • Ohio State at North *Carolina – 9:30PM | ESPN / TSN3
      • Utah State at San Jose State – 11:15PM | ESPN2
  • Wrasslin’:
    • AEW Dynamite – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN2
    • NXT – 8:00PM | USA

There’s plenty of good stuff up tonight. If all goes as planned, I should be having beverages with the esteemed Litre_Cola aboot 8:00 Best Coast time, and hopefully laughing out loud at another Leafs loss.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Roommate Commander is really into Xmas. There is a nativity scene on our Hall bookcase, with a crooked frame hanging above it.

As I begin fixing it, she walks by and very worriedly remarks, “Be careful! Jesus is down there!”

I respond, “If Jesus loses to me, you need a better savior.”

I feel very lucky she found that funny.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Lock your door. She’ll cut you.

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

With her jesus knife.

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litre_cola

Back at the hotel. Time to get stoned.

Was a great night at a bar that historian BeerguyRob said used to be a strip club is now a classy dive bar.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

My foot hurts

1
Beerguyrob

Our prize was a $20 gift card & a picture book called “All My Friends Are Dead”, which was much better than first place who won a CD box set you couldn’t turn into drinks at said bar.

Litre is a rock solid individual.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can confirm

2
Beerguyrob

Update: we finished second. Only three wrong out of 40 questions. Fucking Bare Naked Ladies brought us down.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Obviously I posted…….. too soon.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I thought that’s how you were supposed to do it. I mean hiking up the skirt and going to town is ok but….

Oh wait, I might have misunderstood.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC_q9KPczAg

1
litre_cola

We are throwing a challenge flag awaiting the final results

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m frankly more ashamed that the Canadians amongst us got something wrong about Barenaked Ladies.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So we found an old Dyson vacuum cleaner on the curb. It works fine! It’s like a $300 vacuum cleaner; obviously not now since it’s older but as best I can tell there isn’t a damned thing wrong with it. Livin’ the Hobo High Life, y’all.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

How much sperm is in it?

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

Before he found it or after?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This is an important distinction.

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litre_cola

Trivia update. Its halftime and we have 2 wrong. The 2 wrong were fucking millennial music questions.

0
Sharkbait

What’s your team name? My go to names are:
Endless Love: The Helen Keller – Stevie wonder tennis match

And

Unemployed hand models looking for a good hand job

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Beerguyrob

I don’t recall, but I am really enjoying screaming out ridiculously wrong answers.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Daniel Jones playing CoD with Clint Frazier (mocking the Astros sign-stealing). Meanwhile Eli’s still playing Freddi Fish.
https://twitter.com/GeorgesBoxPod/status/1202267693241556993

1
TheRevanchist

I’m sure this guy is fun at parties.

https://twitter.com/NoahRains1/status/1202426098618961921?s=20

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TheRevanchist

Just called me “boy”. He seems to have guessed my gender correctly. I feel blessed by his keen knowledge of the universe.

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Brick Meathook

He sure does!

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TheRevanchist

What if I have diarrhea? Because… I have lost a lot of weight today. Does that matter to you when you bend me over to make sweet, sweet car love my prostate? Can I bring a camera to put pics in for our future grandkids? Do you prefer roses or daisies? So many questions before we consummate!

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Senor Weaselo

Okay Chan Ho Park
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwSiFhAjwgw

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Try Hot Wheels.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Unless there is some sort of blockage.

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Unsurprised

It was one of the most arresting viral photos of the year: a horde of climbers clogged atop Mount Everest. But it only begins to capture what transpired that day. These are the untold accounts of the people who were there. https://t.co/hBeJAUCRaU pic.twitter.com/feSOMYa0Ab

— GQ Magazine (@GQMagazine) December 4, 2019

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

I hope they all fucking died.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Watching a show on Amazon Prime with Michael Caine called My Generation, about the hip scene in England in the 1960s, which has some nice British tunes by some classic British bands like the Kinks, Stones, Who, Animals etc. Also features a lot of clips from his movies of the era. My takeaway is that 1960s Michael Caine is the coolest Michael Caine, and maybe one of the coolest guys ever. Recommended.

4
Sharkbait

Evening people. Enjoying an old fashioned after sending an inordinate amount of time washing sap off my hands. In other news, the Sharkbait family Christmas tree is now up

2
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Better water it

2
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Too late. Its dried out now

4
Sharkbait

And it’s on fire

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litre_cola

What the didgeredoo is this fackin smoke mate, ruinin me view of da boats!

0
Senor Weaselo

I don’t know if I would want a tree sap handy but you do you.

1
Unsurprised

This is why humans invented gloves and/or The Help

0
rockingdog

found a funny:
Him: Did you adopt your dog?
Me: No, he’s my biological dog.

3
Brick Meathook

I tried to fuck my cat once. It’s not as fun as it sounds.

1
SonOfSpam

To be fair, your cat’s a whore.

4
SonOfSpam

Hey. Cracked open the Stone Enjoy By 01.01.20 and I am following instructions.

Going to Vegas in the morning.

Anyone want me to bet for them? $100 on red? Venmo me and we’ll be honest I swear.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Flying or driving?

0
SonOfSpam

Driving. As long as you don’t go during heavy traffic times, it doesn’t make much (financially anyway) to fly. Plus it’s easier to transport hotel-ready food/beer.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Agreed. The only problem is that it’s going to rain like crazy on Saturday. Be safe on the drive back.

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SonOfSpam

Thanks man…will do. Desert flash floods ain’t nuttin to fuck wit.

2
Brick Meathook

Stop at the giant thermometer.

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SonOfSpam

Fuck yeah Baker!

(I will not be stopping there unless I have to piss, and I will be sober so I will not have to piss. But I have certainly pissed there before. On the outside of the building. Because I was not sober.)

WOO Baker.

4
WCS

UVa getting Charlotteslive’d by Purdue…

1
SonOfSpam

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litre_cola

Attn Beerguyrob, trivia night starts at 8….

2
ballsofsteelandfury

We expect Team DFO to wipe the floor with the competition!

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SonOfSpam

Or at least wipe the floor at the end of the night as part of their responsibilities.

5
TheRevanchist

The cost to repair my shitty car is only $200! Yeah!!!

2
Brick Meathook

I was working out today and bench pressed 750 lbs, which is pretty good for a Wednesday, but three of my spotters suffered strains so let’s all keep them in our prayers. God bless.

2
Gratliff

/pulls old grizzled blue collar labor hat out of the closet

I’ll respect people who go to the gym when they’re half as strong as I was when I was throwing around 200+ lbs boards for 10 hours a day, 6 days a week. Do another rep, pussies.

/puts reddit-and-youtube-on-taxpayer-dime hat back on

3
Brick Meathook

Your old job sounds like Conan the Barbarian.

3
Gratliff

There was an equivalent amount of spitting
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Brick Meathook

I just found out that the record bench press is 739.6 lbs, but my lift won’t count because it has to be witnessed with all this official shit and stuff. Maybe next time I’m at the gym I’ll bring a camera because I lift this all the time, it’s my usual weight.

I can dead lift 2500 lbs. I don’t know what that is is in kilos.

It’s Christ’s love that allows me to do these things.

3
Gratliff

Through Jesus, all things are possible. For example: a ruptured spleen.

6
LemonJello

I think your lover pronounces it HAY-zeus, nawt GEE-zus.

3
Brick Meathook

Nonsense. You’re still my favorite.

1
LemonJello

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ballsofsteelandfury

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Unsurprised

Brick was Pat Robertson all along!

2
Brick Meathook

Give me money.

1
Unsurprised

Paint my fence.

Oh, wait. I thought you said blintzes.

0
Beerguyrob

They just announced a Smackdown taping for Vancouver on Friday, February 14th. I might have to go.

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

Happy Valentines Day honey.

6
Beerguyrob

Yeah – WineWife puts up with a lot, but not the aggro mess that will be that particular Friday evening.

Last year when we went to New York, I got her out to the Meadowlands for a game but I went to the Garden by myself.

1
TheRevanchist

Forever alone dot gif

1
Unsurprised

Honestly, doing anything conventionally romantic that involves going out on Valentine’s Day is way more stupid than going to a Smackdown taping. Go the weekend before or after, or before and after, or stay at home; but don’t get scammed and driven to anxiety and frustration trying to be loving in the middle of the coldest, worst month of the year.

0
TheRevanchist

Well, it’s not like there is a restaurant or bar that are going to not be so crowded you want to punch a MFer. Do it!

2
Gratliff

Are they not doing smackdown live now? Did Fox drop a bullshit amount of money on pretaped episodes?

1
Beerguyrob

Sorry – it’ll be live. But it’s a “taping” because it’s live on the east coast & delayed until prime time in the west.

1
Gumbygirl

My husband, me , and our son who was about 7 or 8 went to the UK Rampage in Glasgow Scotland in 1990 or 91. We were a couple of rows from the ring, and got sweated on by Andre the Giant. Rowdy Roddy Piper was in the main match, I think against the Million Dollar Man. Hulk Hogan was there, and the guy who did Slim Jim ads whose name escapes me, and a bunch of others. My kid was losing it!

4
Gratliff

Mom?

2
Gumbygirl

No, but go clean your room!

2
ballsofsteelandfury

That sounds amazing!

0
Gumbygirl

It really was! I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as they did, but it was tons of fun. Macho Man Randy Savage was the Slim Jim guy

1
WCS

Decorating the Christmas tree tonight.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

RUSS!!!!!!

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WCS

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Gratliff

We haven’t done any decorating this year because we told my shithead child that if he doesn’t stop fucking up in school, he’s not getting christmas. He appears to be calling my bluff, and folks,,,

2
LemonJello

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ArmedandHammered

You should wrap up his text books and put them under the tree. My dad once put switches in my sister’s stocking and her only gift was a lump of coal wrapped up in great big box that had some bricks in it to make it heavy. The lamentation and wailing that day was positively Old Testamenty.

6
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s hilarious!

0
ArmedandHammered

When my father made a threat, it was actually a promise. He took my brother’s car from him, sold it and then bought a nasty Datsun B210 station wagon to drive. All because my brother was shirking his cleaning chores. And my father warned him.

4
ballsofsteelandfury

Your father raised you boys right!

0
Gratliff

It was very much just an exaggerated threat on my part until he said “no you won’t” and guaranteed that I will.

3
Senor Weaselo

Your dad is Adrian Peterson?

3
litre_cola

That is where I was going to go. Well played.

0
Gratliff

With Daniel Jones injured, Eli Manning is slated to start against the Eagles on MNF.

Reminder that Donovan McNabb has as many wins (4-0) in the last 22 Eagles vs. Giants games as Eli Manning (4-18). https://t.co/AC67GSFjJ6

— Brandon Lee Gowton (@BrandonGowton) December 4, 2019

1
Gratliff

Eli has half as many Super Bowl wins as he does wins against the Eagles in the last 11 years and I don’t understand it. Derpy play-doh eating looking motherfucker.

2
WCS

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4
theeWeeBabySeamus

It is SO cold.

2
theeWeeBabySeamus

Yay foar teh asterisk.
Boo bcuz NC State gon’ get plowed under 2nite.

Ask Litre if he brought enuff weed fo’ everybody.
(nevermind I already know)
((he’s a stingy sumbitch))

0
litre_cola

Oh I have weed.

2
litre_cola

Will now roll one now.

2
theeWeeBabySeamus

I never doubted it foar a minute.
Get Riga and Lambeau high. That would be funny.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

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2
ballsofsteelandfury

I heard USC is keeping Clay Helton. That’s just
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1
litre_cola

Yessir! I will be at a lovely bar that would fit in on the DFO pub crawl. The Morrissey (nawt Smiths). This means another one of you really exists!

3
Beerguyrob

Low Commander’s parents were only 35% convinced I would return his body.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I hurt my upper back a little bit working out today. Nothing terrible, just enough to make me cut things short 1/3 of the way through. It ensures that I *won’t* be working out tomorrow, though, which means WE GON’ DRANK tonight.

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