Wild Card Sunday, Bitches! Instant Hippo Thoughts (2019 Season)

What was once 12 has been whittled down to 8.  There are some surprises, starting with BOTH 6 seeds staying alive.

Looks like we will forever be entertained by these Saints/Vikes January matchups.  I, along with most, did not give Captain Dingleberry any scintilla of a chance.  Even if Minny were to win, I figured it had to be in spite of Cousins, not because of him.

I wouldn’t say Kirk put the squadron on his back, but he made some plays, or at least put the ball in places where Adam Thielen could make some plays.  In this Chernobyl weekend of quartered back play (TheShaun excepted), that would suffice.  Dalvin Cook did most of the dirty work between the tackles, and their physical nature seemed to wear down the Saints.

Breesus Christ?  Man, that guy looks as done as Dreamboat or Laserface.  He was fucking AWFUL.  His late Q4 fumble allowed MN to get within one first down of running the clock out at 20-17.  Then, with one timeout and 2 minutes to play, he completely mangled the clock, including an attempted spike (with more than enough time to be precise, and timeout still in pocket) with the OL clearly not set.  Fuck’s sake, even I could see it.

For some reason, Sean Payton decided NOT to burn his timeout instead of the 10-second runoff, Brees was squirrelly again, just throwing the ball at Kamara’s feet and accepting the 49-yard FG try.  It was a knuckler, but went through.  Extra Time it is.

The Vikings won the toss, marched down the field, and won the game.  Again, Cousins to Thielen was the crucial connection.  On 3rd and goal after the Thielen bomb, TE Rudolph pretty clearly pushed off, but no BLEERGH and no replay.  26-20, fin.

Philly had been battling injuries all damned season, except at QB.  This Sunday, one could finally scratch that “except” off the MASH-unit list.  Dakota Jeebus out with a head owie, and I guess Russell decided to keep all his nanobubble water to himself.  I mean, it’s the playoffs.  Gotta look out for one’s own!

One would think that Old Man McCown would spell doom, but Pete Carroll loves nothing better (ok, nothing but “Loose Change” better) than hiding his best offensive player and running the ball with his 4th and 5th string tailbacks.  Probably would have been 6-3 at the break, but a blatant late hit changed things completely.  Beast Mode scored from 5 yards out, and 10-3 seemed like a pretty big lead.  In context.

Philly opened Q3 with a FG (despite 1st and goal at the 5), SEA answered with a TD, PHI kicked in another 3.  17-9, Philly finally gets Wilson off the field on 3rd and long.  And it’s ALWAYS 3rd and long because Pete Carroll and Brian Schottenheimer.  Would McCown Magic supplement the legend of Big Dick Nick?

No.  Although he played pretty well, all things considered.  But a 4th and 4 pass was just a hair behind Miles Sanders, and he couldn’t bring it in.  That was really the Iggles’ last gasp.

Except it wasn’t, especially after Flowers’ 2nd really dumb PI put it inside the ‘Truther 15.  But 4th and 7 yielded a sack, another drive fizzles as NBC played “Spoonman.”  That is officially my least favourite Soundgarden song.  #HippoTrivia

17-9, every game within one score, and VERY competitive at the 2-minute warning.  Pretty impressive that PHI made the playoffs at all, and continued to compete as well as they did.  But the vaguely prophecied Tomsulas/SeaTruthers III is still very much in play.  And thanks to Minny’s win, would be for the NFC championship.  Fun times.

See y’all next weekend.  In closing, Liverpool Football Club can eat shit.