It’s Here! It’s Here! Your Very First DFO Playoff Game Open Thread

A cynic (myself) might say that this game doesn’t look very good but we’re in “PLAYOFF MODE” now. LOSER GOES HOME…JUST LIKE THE WINNER! Okay, I’m sure you know what I mean because we all type English here. We’ve endured some weird crap over the course of the season and now it’s win or you’re gone time.

KC @ HOU: Does anyone remember the 1-5 Chiefs? They were without not only hope but also J.C. and were looking at the likes of Spencer “Who?” Ware and Charcandrick “Huh?” West to right the ship running game-wise. And umm, WOW! they did it. That actually happened. The even more surprising occurrence was the transformation of QB Smith from a “Spaghetti-Armed Game Manager” into a “Spaghetti-Armed Slight Difference-Maker”! Wonders will simply not cease to exist no matter how much I want them to… This has to be HC Reid’s best coaching job, don’t you think? Speaking of thinking, methinks the only way for the Texans to get out of this with a win is for their two most dominant players to go nuts, right? If DE Watt collapses his side of the line on an on-going basis and WR Hopkins catches 12+ balls things have a chance of going Houston’s way. If either becomes a non-factor the odds of a W drop to very close to nil. DE Clowney was held out of practice, was in on Thursday and was out again on Friday. He and his willingness to play hard on every down are listed as questionable.

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Brick Meathook

I wasn’t paying attention to this game near the end . . . I guess I missed a bunch of stuff.

Doktor Zymm

Additional Drunk Story : Goth night at the same club. The only time I’ve been kicked out of a place. Guy said he was a priest, but I don’t think it was any sort of conventional religion. I was wearing a corset, but with a modesty panel, and I had a wonderful antique lace neckerchief. We had some drinks and it turns out they really frown upon people having any sort of sex on the patio that’s closed for the winter. I didn’t get to finish my beer, and I lost my awesome lace handkerchief.

Duchess

those bastereds

ballsofsteelandfury

Second game thread up!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
John Difool

Alex Smith only put those rib pads on after the realization he would be interviewed by Ray Lewis in the post game show.

fleshwound_NPG

Of course I re-fire up the livestream of Lemmy’s service and Lars is coming up next…

Kungjitsu

Lars is one of the top 5 drummers ever… in Metallica.

Kungjitsu

It takes me a concerted mental effort to tell Phil Simms and Boomer Esiason apart.

King Hippo

SAME

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
laserguru

Houston should have signaled for help.

http://i.imgur.com/36DVbRG.gif?noredirect

Kungjitsu

Winning the Shuper Bowl meant Bob Shanders was healthy again.

ballsofsteelandfury

Second game thread?

Senor Weaselo

I was going to ask the same question!

ballsofsteelandfury

That girl on CBS does phone sex, right?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I got into 90 music again because of someone on here. Went to my favorite band/at least top 5

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fregObNcHC8

Doktor Zymm

Drunk Stories : One time, I went to the goth night at Nation and during the open bar I met a guy, we left around 1 amish, and I was driving home. I took North Capitol and ended up on Route 1 and he decided this was an excellent time to perform cunnilingus. I didn’t argue with this, but there are stop lights on Route 1, and when we were around Franklin’s in Hyatsville, there was someone in a vehicle opposite who was like…HOLY SHIT THAT GIRL GITTIN HER CUNT LICKED! I looked over, got eye contact, laughed my ass off, the light changed, and I pulled away. I saw that guy for a bit, but then he got arrested for vagrancy. Never date people from Baltimore.

Senor Weaselo

Am I the only one who read 1 amish as 1 Amish? Nope, just me? Okay then.

fleshwound_NPG

No, read dat too

ballsofsteelandfury

So many things about that story are wonderful.

John Difool

“Never date people from Baltimore” If Walmart was a city…..

theeWeeBabySeamus

As a native of the aforementioned hellhole, I approve this comment.

ThePirateSloth

You had me at goth night

Kungjitsu
Brick Meathook

I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS

Gratliff

Triple H is speaking at Lemmy’s memorial. It had to happen.

Gratliff

HOpefully he didn’t bring his Kane mask. I wish I’d have thought of that before I posted the last one.

Col. Duke LaCross

He’s going on forever. The hotel room story was pretty good though.

WCS

comment image

Senor Weaselo

Can anyone read the message that’s coming through Lisa’s mic?

Spur

Houston Texans now accepting QB resumes. Send them in now.

stinkbomb

Jeff George, Line 2.

...

BRICK WALLS ARE GONNA BE SMASHED TONIGHT!

OHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

Gratliff

Scott Ian has a gray beard and I am old as fuck.

fleshwound_NPG
...

I think I know what’s happened here. We’re watching a football version of Back to the Future where someone went into the past and prevented the Texans from ever coming into existence.

Now we’re just watching them slowly fade into nothingness as if they never existed at all.

Doktor Zymm

Y’all be great.

entropy

Vince Wilfork looks like the 2014 Godzilla.

Senor Weaselo

Stats that may not actually be stats time!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like how the game-winning touchdown was scored on the very first play of this game.

Senor Weaselo

This game was over from the opening kickoff.

King Hippo

really, as soon as he crossed the 30

King Hippo

And none of us thought to make the usual “insurmountable lead” joke

...

They’re just pandering to the Mizzou fans now.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Finally!

MIZ

...

ZOU

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

@Zymm I went deep in the comments. Thing I shouldn’t admit. Love Salt-N-Pepper – Shoop. Listening now

Brocky

Somewhere, our old friend Otto is lamenting that the Chiefs sole playoff win in 22 years came against brian hoyer

ballsofsteelandfury

He’s safely 30,000 years in the past.

...

God, they’re talking about extra points to kill time.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

You know you’re watching a competitive game when you’re seeing shots of the cameramen.

fleshwound_NPG

When did this become an early 90s Atlanta Braves game?

King Hippo

hell, you can pitch a few innings if you want!

Doktor Zymm

THAT’S OFFENSIVE!
-[*Redacted] s fan

WCS

Who’s boreder, us or Tirico and Gruden?

Senor Weaselo

Honestly it might be them. We can drink.

King Hippo

Jon’s always on queludes at minimum

Doktor Zymm

They probably have better drugs, so us.

...

Ha. The Chiefs fans have taken all the good seats.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Did anyone else notice the INTENSE SEQUENCES OF PERIL on the PG-13 rating there?

King Hippo

I hope there are ample fainting couches

King Hippo

I hope Doopy refuses to go in now

Gratliff

I hope that he comes in like a house on fire and falls just short of the greatest comeback of all time. I’m thinking suicide en masse.

fleshwound_NPG

that FG and game be ugly, but both count

http://cdn.niketalk.com/c/cf/900x900px-LL-cfea1923_mil.gif

Senor Weaselo

Bend it like Cairo?

Doktor Zymm

SHUT OUT! WOO!

Kungjitsu

What’s everyone drinking. I’m drinking Sierra Nevada Hop Hunter IPA. It’s not bad.

King Hippo

coffee to stay awake, no kidding

...

Christ, I know what you mean. This game is Ambien in sporting form.

Spanky Datass

Goose Island ‘The Muddy’ Imperial Stout

Spur

At this point, the only reason O’Brian isn’t playing Weeden is just to spite the crowd

ThursdaySkyGoddess
Senor Weaselo

That is one of my rotating desktop images. Today’s however is a screenshot of Mewtwo from the Smash Bros. page.

Bortleback

Does Hoyer’s contract have a clause where he gets more money if he makes a tackle?

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