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"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio
Congratulations to the Super Bowl 50 Champion Denver Broncos’ Defense (I suppose accolades are due to Manning as well since he only turned the ball over twice) good jobs guys.
That said, welcome to the long bleakness that is the NFL offseason. It will be 216 days until we see another meaningful NFL game. Good hunting!
You think that performance was measty.
Let me tell you about measty.
A) 21/17 rushing; 11/26/102 passing; 119 total yards; 3 INT, 2 Fum Rec; sacks in this game were lost yards rushing and not an official stat; 6 points
B) 11/7 rushing; 17/36/116 passing; 123 total yards; 2 INT, 2 Fum Rec; Sacks 7/-61; 10 points
C) 27/118 rushing; 18/41/265 passing; 315 total yards; 1 INT, 3 Fum Rec; Sacks 6/-64; 10 points
Team B should have 172 gross yards passing, not 116 (the net).
Can we get the answer key? Which team was which?
A) SB IX Stillers
B) SB XX Bears
C) SB 50 Donks
Nice. Thanks!
You know it’s bad when you reminisce about the good ol’ days, when the Prob Owl was played AFTER the Superb Owl, and so you weren’t totally going cold turkey on football after the big game was over.
Or then you reminisce about even further back, when the USFL season would be starting up soon. Any Oakland Invaders fans here? Orlando Renegades fans? LA Express fans?
I actually watched Chicago Blitz games. Though, for some reason, I think I liked the New Jersey Generals better.
I also happen to own a CFL Baltimore Colts t-shirt.
That’s a real thing….you can even google it and shit.
But you won’t….so here….
http://www.logoserver.com/football/BaltimoreColts.GIF
Fuck, what was wrong with me? The Generals were owned by Trump. Maybe I’m mistaken about liking them.
Another thing I found odd: Peyton throwing Josh Norman’s way often. Was it because it was the first read or just because Norman was not blanketing the target per reputation? Anyway, those third down runs in the 4th Qrt. were poignant Fuck Yous by a very tough and confident Denver Team; no pretense whatsoever in trying its best for a first down. Just a contant dare to Carolina: try to score on this.
The offseson blows. God dammit.
Just watched an italian immigrant win everything on the Price is Right it was pretty entertaining.
Freakin’ “I”-talians taking our game show money/prizes. GODDAMN IT! I’VE HAD ENOUGH!
/who wants to march?
Jesus Christ they did a lot more than that in New Orleans holy FUCKBALLS:
I propose that “The Mob Well Managed, but Determined” should be the all-time banner quote.
That’s some next-level shit right there.
THINK OF THE RIVEBROG POSSIBIRITIES
http://xpat.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/03155424/image043.jpg
Somebody killed this guy so they killed all the Italians:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Hennessy
The money quote: “A survey of U.S. newspapers showed 42 in favor of the lynchings and another 58 opposed.”
Apparently the US has always had a bit of a complex relationship with newly immigrated ethnic minorities.
Sure, Whitey may have gotten a few of my people, but we got you all back via Chef Boy Ar D and Ragu sauce.
Buncha pasty faced, Muellers noodles eating motherfuckers.
Carolina had choppy initial possessions and could not get into a groove. That Broncos D was just maulin’ everything. But Cam can be solely credited for more overthrows on third down than the CIA on the Third World. Even with the drops, that outing was worthy of the School of the Americas.
Speaking of which, Copa América Centenario this summer in a stadium near youse! The Conmebol teams are coming, and no Euro team can match Uruguay, Chile, Argentina etc. in, um, intense defensive, er, tactics.
I’m guessing a lot of the overthrows were caused by his having to release the ball more quickly due to pressure, and his receivers not being able to get as much separation as usual with the coverage they were getting, so you can probably attribute those to the D as well. I’ll give him credit for getting rid of the ball well when he had to. He was getting brutalized all night. Denver D was the meastliest.
Definitely; that defense harassed enough to deserve total credit. One could even say that the Talib facemask maul at the 4 was a “smart” play in the big picture.
Totally agree on the facemask. It absolutely kept the guy out of the endzone, and all Denver lost was 2 yards. Not saying Talib facemasked him on purpose, but that is one of those instances when a personal foul needs to be more than a 2-yard penalty.
The refs are allowed to award a score when it is blatantly obvious that a foul by the defense prevented the score. But that would be pretty much unprecedented in the modern era, so I cannot imagine it happening in the Sup Bro.
I thought Talib admitted to doing it on purpose afterward.
I just “holy shitted” in the other thread, because I read that he said that.
So yeah, the refs should have awarded the TD. Again, unprecedented in the post-merger era, and it would raise an unholy shitstorm happening in the Superb Owl, but when a player commits a personal foul in order to stop a touchdown and only be penalized 2 yards, the refs should’ve done the right thing.
Palpably unfair act?
Akin to a bench player (or coach) on the sideline tripping a guy running an uncontested return downfield for an easy TD, and the runner tripping out of bounds. It’s not enough to give a 15 yard penalty added to the return–the guy had a clear shot at the TD. It’s blatant cheating that a 15 yard penalty does not redress.
In this case, the guy would have scored if not for the facemask. A 2 yard penalty did not adequately punish the offending team.
I get to watch Everton’s new badass CB Funes Mori compete, I’m down for that.
YES! We have an action-packed summer!
I like Cam – I wanted him to have a way better game than he did.
I think the Panthers need to draft a new PR team in the off season, because he was totally unprepared to sit down with the media.
Fuck the toolsheds out there who say, “See? I told you so.” Which actually means: “See? I told you he was black.”
Toolshed fucking? We call that a Baltimore Prom.
also convenient for abortions ,, ppl forget that
Someday they’ll run out of Baltimore jokes.
Today’s not that day.
Joke away motherfuckers, we’ll just keep on rioting and eating steamed crabs
I like that you call your kids Fozzspawn (or something like that).
Unapologetically confident black men *always* get this treatment. A few years ago, Richard Sherman got the same treatment and the schadenfreude was just as rich when he failed.
This is my happy celebration song of the morning, appropriate since it references California (last night) and ’99 (last SB win):
/plus, it’s all beuatiful and peppy and shit
Sigh. There are HOT TAEKS about Cam Newton on my Facebook. Though it seems he actually has a majority of public support. The comments on one article about Cam’s press conference were largely reminding people that a few years ago, Peyton stormed off the field early and didn’t shake the hand of anyone on the Saints. He called Drew Brees to congratulate him a few hours later and that was considered sufficiently sportsmanlike.
Yeah but Manning’s white!
#WhiteQBsMatter
It simply amazes me that people are so critical of a 26 year-old who plays a game for a living. If he looks like he’s having too much fun, he’s a bad person. If he’s not having enough fun, he’s a bad person.
You’d think people would think about how frustrated they get driving during rush hour and realize that’s nothing compared to how frustrated you’d get playing in the biggest game of your career and losing.
You’d think.
Luckily our Eli has never had to deal with losing in the big game. Can you imagine the tantrums?
http://45.media.tumblr.com/ba5ce150afc463c0b0c94fe3a795b328/tumblr_nh9csfeoel1tjydheo2_500.gif
I don’t really see why he should be nice to the press in the first place, when they’ve been nothing but nasty to him his whole career. It’s like a bunch of bullies getting mad that he didn’t bring them his birthday money in addition to his lunch money.
“It has nothing to do with his color. My thing is just that he is the property of another man and, thus, should behave accordingly. See? It isn’t about race with me; it’s about the law.”
-1822 Birmingham Gazette Reporter Peter Kingston
Jerry Richardsonton stands, applauds.
I don’t see why they’re complaining about only getting 3/5ths of a press conference….
And I’m really wrestling with my conscience about football lately. I love the game, and I’m a die-hard Bears fan, but the more and more we learn about the toll the game is taking on players, the less I want to do with it.
My second love is volleyball. Maybe I can find a league that plays games on Sundays in the fall.
Heh. I tore my patellar tendon when a guy (on the other team) rolled me under the net.
As a result, I became such a nazi about net violations that I cannot play recreational volleyball. I got thrown out of a intramural game because I abused the ref so badly for not calling net violations.
I’ve accepted that my support/acquiescence of gladiator violence is like 50th on the list of horrible shit about me. Not that it excuses it, but…eh.
Long story short…save me a seat in hell. Preferably by the teevee box.
I came to the site for the first time in a while (life, *sigh*), fully expecting a truncated “Instant Hippo Thoughts” thread that was just incoherent WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!-ing for two paragraphs.
I’m honestly happy with the result of the game, though I preferred the Panthers to win. The main thing that I’m unhappy with is that the officiating kinda sucked (Ginn got mugged on a play, no flag; Carolina contacts the TE when Manning is throwing the ball away, and they get a fresh set of downs; I have no idea how the replay couldn’t have overturned the call on Riverboat’s first challenge, etc.), and because Newton didn’t dive for the ball, it somehow affirms the narrative that he’s a Gloreee Boy who doesn’t care about anyone but himself.
And the commercials largely sucked.
And how about we just have Bruno Mars be the standby halftime show from now on. Energetic, decent music and a fun show. Not mopey Coldplay or some well-past-their-prime rock act.
Jebus Crackers, Metallica would’ve been great. And could you imagine Beyonce and Bruno Mars onstage with Metallica? I’d drink to that.
If we’re doing halftime show suggestions, this is my vote :
http://www.geekalerts.com/u/Hypnotoad-T-Shirt.jpg
For a segment of the population, Beyonce has a similar effect.
There was enough shabby officiating for a good conspiracy theory about how the NFL wanted Manning to go out a winner, which is too bad because Denver’s D was a fucking monster in that game and certainly didn’t need any help.
Unless by “help” we mean the psychiatric care Talib seems to so desperately need because Jesus is he a lunatic.
I don’t know what the answer is but the NFL needs to do something about the refs because they’re just getting worse. Phil Simms called them out for Christ’s sake.
When Mike Carey said that the first challenge was obviously going to be overturned, I turned to my wife and said, “Welp, that means that they’re going to uphold the call on the field,” totally joking (had to explain to her how Carey is so spectacularly wrong so often). Then they “confirmed” the call on the field and I was like… holy shit.
Carolina did not play the game well enough to win, and there were shitty penalties on both teams, but I think Carolina probably got jobbed out of 7 points due to the refs.
I do not understand how that call wasn’t overturned. I just don’t.
But again the shitty refereeing is not what decided the game. That was all Von Miller and Co. It would just be nice to have a meaningful game where there wasn’t legitimate criticism of the referee crew for multiple fuck-ups, and this game wasn’t it.
Oh, absolutely.
Let me be succinct: The shitty referee-ing did not determine the outcome of the game: Von Miller determined the outcome of the game.
I’m very glad he got the MVP. If it had gone to Pey-Pey, I’d probably rip the titanium plate out of my neck and throw it at the TV.
If you get too close to Manning the magnetism of his plates would probably do the same thing.
Hockey playoffs are coming up. And that’s a sport that the city I’m from and the city I currently live in are actually both good at!
But the based ball….After last year, Cubs fans are going to be even more unbearable than usual this year, aren’t they….
🙂
Yeah, but Hockey Playoffs last longer than the regular season. Seriously, they need to trim that shit back.
They probably don’t need to be starting with 16 teams when you’re doing best out of 7. I would be in favor of cutting that down to 12 or 10.
The problem is the TV networks. They decide ultimately when the teams play and they think it’s cute when the make teams go 2+ days inbetween games, which is something they don’t even do in the regular season on a frequent basis.
Conversation with myself in the car this morning as I drove past M&T Bank stadium:
Fozz: “Well, ain’t gonna see the inside of that place for eight months.”
Fozz: “Nah, eight months? Can’t be.”
Fozz: “Yup. At least we have baseball.”
Fozz: “Yeah, fuck that.”
Fozz: “Shit. Well, you see more boobs in the summer.”
Fozz: “Yeah . . .”
Worst day of the year.
Wrong. The day after the based-ball “All Star Game” is the worst. No real sports. No new tv programs. Seldom any good movies out at the theater. It’s in the middle of the week so you can’t (probably shouldn’t, anyway) go out and get bombed.
This.
Not even stupid based-ball.
Just a vast, depthless ocean of infinite nothingness.
Ita 216 days left and its the year 2016… coincidence? I think so!
If you only like football I’ve no use for you. Australian rugby is near, college ball is good for another two months and hockey for at least four. The Euro championship begins on June 10th with France/Romania and the Rio Olympics start on Aug. 5th and will dovetail with the NFL starting up again. As noted elsewhere, we’ve got hot spelling bee action and the dog show to end all dog shows as well. THERE’S PLENTY ON OUR PLATES!
/I haven’t even mentioned the NBA and baseball, mostly because they’re not worth mentioning but whatever floats your water craft…
The Euros are actually pretty damned entertaining. Especially with the added race riot potential this year!
Who airs Australian rugby in the US?
Fox Soccer Plus
oh shit, that’s Aussie Rules Football.
/reading is fundamental!
The internets is probably your best bet.
Australian Rules, my friend. Australian RULES!
I’m making an effort to watch rugby and soccer, as a way to bond with the Fozz Spawn, and as an excuse to drink beer and wrestle around on the floor with them, and break shit in the living room.
So, you get liquored up and ask your kids if they wanna wrestle?
Do you take your shirt off first?
Great to have you back, Lothar.
The wrestling never stops in the house, it’s like the Tasmanian Devil on Bugs Bunny – if you’re ever near it, you get pulled in and then shot right back out with bruises, cuts and scrapes.
The drinking just dulls the pain – physically and emotionally.
Full coverage of the Six Nations (minus yesterday’s IRL 16 — 16 WAL slugfest) begins Wednesday with my Ireland and Scotland team capsules.
Going to have to nut up and pay for streaming access this year. I hope I can find a service that has AirPlay.
FOX Sports in their wisdom have chosen the English Super League as their brand of rugby to broadcast. Having lived there, I can assure you that not a whole lot of people are rugby fanatics to begin with and absolutely nobody cares about rugby league. Keep making decisions like that, Ailes!
So if you care, the coverage will be there.
I wish the Broncos won the Superb Owl every week. There is no traffic today, and random still-drunk people walking around downtown incoherently shouting is entertaining.
In DC we call them homeless.
In Baltimore we call them politicians
There is no such thing as offseason… This is when the real work begins!
Gritty.
I’m looking forward to some depressing offseason personnel moves this year. While I actually sorta believe in DCs ability to draft now that they have a competent GM, I’m pretty sure RG3 will go on to great success in Dallas, and Alfred Morris will probably break some sort of rushing record for, I don’t know, Philly or someone. I’m already calling it, back to 4th in the NFC East for next year.
The RGIII part of that is so much more likely now that Johnny Football has Ryan Leaf’d himself.
Yeah, it’s too bad. I was looking forward to some high-class escort posting pictures online of Jerrah and JFF blasted out of their gourds, finger-cuffing another escort.
I mean, if anyone gives ol’ JFF another chance, it’ll be The Double J. I just don’t think it will be right away.
More like Max Halling.
From your fingers to God’s ears.
GO GIANTS
Johnny Punching Bag to the Skins!
Since it probably won’t get its own thread (and I wasn’t on the L-Blog at halftime yesterday), I’d just like to say that anyone who gets stuck doing a mid-afternoon full-daylight outdoor halftime show is fucked. Just look at last year versus this year. Having the show indoors allows you to use lighting/darkness manipulation and whatever use of the rafters to support the show. Coldplay might as well have been performing in a park. Yeah the little screens on the floor of their set were nifty but Beyonce is walking around in the fucking grass. And the fucking marching bands — be a little more amateur hour there, Pepsi.
Acts should be chomping at the bit to play next year (NRG Stadium) or 2018 (BIRDMURDERDOME — they better make that show fucking awesome) after the dullness of this year.
A Superb Owl in BIRDMURDERDOME? I have a bad feeling about this.
Apparently the NFL doesn’t pay the halftime act. They just cover the production costs. So any band/performer who plays is pretty much doing it for the publicity. That limits the acts that WILL do it.
It’s stupid. How much money does the NFL make, and they can’t even relax their sphincters enough to pay a halftime act? I swear, they probably pay more to the military to fun the flyover at the end of the national anthem than they’d pay to get a good halftime act.
NFL has money, Pepsi has money, Record Studios have money.
This is really something the host city taxpayers should be funding.
Also, instead of the shitty halftime shows they have now, can they just play this uncensored every year:
Instant Hippo Thoughts: /is still drunk
I’m sure there are no opiates left in the greater Raleigh area.
Seriously, seeing the way Carolina hit (especially in the red zone and on inside runs) CJ Anderson looks like he may need 200+ days to recover.
Good hunting!
“”Way ahead of ya!”
– Yeah Right
I thought Edgar Winter’s rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner was wonderful.
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