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Dreams Like This Must Die (‘Everton, That’ Edition)

King Hippo

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Yeah, it’s been a bad week.  There is no silver lining.  Reportedly, Everton only received minimal (or even ZERO) compensation from the Real Cuntfaces of Madrid.

Sure, Ancelotti (no MOAR affectionate nickname) will be lucky to survive the season at the Bernebau.  No, I don’t care whether I spelled it correctly, and ain’t gonna check.  It’s just a giant kick in the balls.

Those aforementioned Cuntfaces are likely also too skint to make a legitimate offer for sulky-assed Richarlison.  Just fuck everything already.

Baseball?  Can also eat my ass.  Two months until meaningless pre-season NFL gives one the will to live again.

In case you don’t know the song referenced by the title, here it is.  Always makes me weep, one of 3-4 songs that cut right to the bone re my most painful ex-girlfriend.

Anyway, talk amongst yourselves.  NEVAR forget that life is shit, and always will be.

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yeah right

As a knee problem expert surgery can help. Problem is the older you get the longer the recovery. If your knee is fucked according to basic kinesiology you will favor it and in turn fuck with different muscle groups.

Also, if you see a doctor not only will they attempt to take every fucking dollar you have they will refer you to physical therapy first so THEY can take as much of your money as possible.

It sucks and I hope you feel better soon.

Go Cubbies.

1
yeah right

My first injury was playing football in 1978. Right knee hyper extended. Three surgeries later… still kind of fucked but better. The left knee only required 2 surgeries but it’s doing great.

/ knocks on every piece of wood nearby

0
Gumbygirl

I took bowling for PE. Best decision ever!

0
herodotus450

I think my yeast is dead, it won’t bloom. That’s like 100 trillion trillion organisms, dead by my hand.

0
Mr. Ayo

Nice try, Mao Zedong

4
Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m trying to catch up!
—Alexander Portnoy

3
yeah right

Great Philip Roth pull.

Pun intended.

Did you read American Pastoral?

Holy fuck. I needed a therapist afterwards.

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

Have not. Sounds like I might not ought to…

1
Gumbygirl

That’s nothing compared to all the wee sperms you have murdered. Think of all the potential children you could have had, you selfish bastard!

Last edited 4 years ago by Gumbygirl
1
ballsofsteelandfury

What happened? Didya go running after a long time of not running?

0
Mr. Ayo

I’ll do it if you put me in the will!

2
Mr. Ayo

Oh shit. That reminds me I need to get tickets to their trip to Portland next year.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Tough tense game in Oklahoma between Arizona and Florida State…

0
ballsofsteelandfury

And Florida State takes it in the bottom of the 7th on a Sac Fly. Good game!

0
Mr. Ayo

In honor of Gumbygrl I’m dropping all my money on Essential Quality for the win at the Belmont Stakes.

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Mr. Ayo

If you want to win money though, Rombauer is again the correct choice. His odds are getting longer and more profitable for you as we speak.

1
Gumbygirl

Don’t do it! I warned you.

1
Gumbygirl

I’m coming to you from the future. Do it!

1
Mr. Ayo

That’s 2 for 2 for anyone paying attention.

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yeah right

Got 90% of the work done for tomorrow’s dinner. I’m getting creative with ways to make my life easier.

2
Gumbygirl

Truth

66f474d16d16b492f1e0b4a97264f6aafe5e4181dfca2abfd47bebe69d60f0e7_15.jpg.jpg
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I guarantee there are men out there who spend more money on the soap they use to wash their cars than the soap they use to wash themselves.

I say that as someone who spends more money on dog shampoo than I do on Rikki shampoo.

3
scotchnaut

You reminded me that De La Soul tossed this wee bit into the middle of a great album.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tGehnFEiSQ&ab_channel=AnoymousGuy

1
scotchnaut

Back To The Future Part 2 is playing on a cable channel right now. Not exactly sure if I want to travel back to a time (2015) when Steve Jobs was still alive.

0
scotchnaut

Speaking of Eggs-

The brown ones. Don’t you find they are way more rubbery when hard-boiled vs. the vastly superior white ones?*

*yeah, I’m going to introduce race into an egg-boiling observation

2
TheRevanchist

I only eat the eggs of endangered birds, so I don’t really see color.

4
Beerguyrob

I found 3000 free free-range ones for you.

https://twitter.com/ronninator/status/1401220157603672071?s=21

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Gumbygirl

I saw that on the news. People are assholes. While they were filming the story, two idiots showed up with drones. Signs everywhere.

1
scotchnaut

Reminds me of a great tune by The Byrds

“To everything, tern, tern, tern
There is a season, tern, tern, tern.”

3
King Hippo

Jus’ don’t be puttin’ em all in the same pot! – Jefferson Beauregard S., Lickspittle, AL

0
herodotus450

Local Area Baseball Team’s cleanup hitter is batting .188. And about half of the team is under .220. And they’re not even in last place. I guess it’s been a pitcher’s year so far.

0
Mr. Ayo

The Mariners, an alleged pro team, is batting .208 as a team.

Only 5 players with more than 100 plate appearances are above the Mendoza line.

So I think your local Baseball Team is better.

1
King Hippo

the #BFIB are injured/shitty, so baseball can’t be a thing

0
Mr. Ayo

1.5 out of first is not shitty, you JackO clone.

1
King Hippo

but the trendline and who just got hurt this week? Is fait accompli.

0
Gumbygirl

If they had relegation in MLB, and they should, the Pirates would be in a tball league. In last place.

1
Dunstan

Just ate way too much of a Tortilla Espanola. Still going to have leftovers all weekend — good thing those things are tasty cold.

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herodotus450

Just ate way too much of a Tortilla Espanol

Careful, the last time that happened we ended up in charge of The Philippines.

4
Gumbygirl

I am making a crustless quiche, with leftover roasted potatoes and broccoli, green onions, and some pepperjack. I got the eggs from a farmers market. They have the most beautiful yolks, orangy yellow, like a sunset!

4
Dunstan

There’s a place that sells eggs like that at a farmer’s market that’s a little further away than the one I usually go to. I’m often tempted to make the special trip just for the eggs. I’m not sure if they actually taste any different, but they really do look remarkable.

1
Gumbygirl

I like to think they’re better, but who knows?

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They absolutely are. Just ask this scientician!
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yeah right

I love quiche so very much. I can only make it when youngest right is visiting though because her and I are the only ones who like it. If I made one for myself, well I would eat the entire thing and maybe in one sitting.

Which is why I only make quiche when youngest right is here.

2
scotchnaut

“You shouldn’t be smoking this. You have a mortgage!”

1
Wakezilla

Looking at Canada’s World Championship squad, you wouldn’t expect much from them because they might be one of the weakest Canadian team I have ever seen. So it was not surprising that they needed Germany’s last match against (I think Latvia) had to end in regulation for Canada to advance into the playoffs.

Despite all that, Canada is now in the finals.. I cannot believe THAT Canadian team beat a formidable Russian squad and an OK American side.

Last edited 4 years ago by Wakezilla
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Dunstan

Hey, hey, hey — they’re not “Russian.” They’re not allowed to be called that, as punishment for Russia’s persistent cheating in international sports. So instead, they’re competing as “ROC,” which stands for… uh… Russian Olympic Committee.

Yeah, that’s a stern punishment. Was George Parros in charge of that ruling?

4
Wakezilla

Real Madrid and Barcelona both have coaches that once managed Disappointing Everton. I think we can all pen in Atletico for another La Liga title.

At least you still have this fan, Hippo.

https://twitter.com/PepperMills3/status/1392857256430026753?s=20

Last edited 4 years ago by Wakezilla
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ballsofsteelandfury

I’d play her cazoo…

1
TheRevanchist

I can’t handle the sound of this. Maybe if she were mute?

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

She has very healthy looking hair, or perhaps hair extensions.

0
scotchnaut

Track Observations-

  1. A young lady was jogging in a crop top and yoga pants. My first observation was “Oof!” My second? “The way her right foot swings out while her left foot is planted. Until she corrects that she can’t be a serious runner.” God, I’m old.
  1. Speaking of, old man was there again today. I shit you not. I have decided to call him ‘Shirtless Joe Jackson’ and this is his tune-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJwt2dxx9yg&ab_channel=JoeJacksonVEVO

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Doktor Zymm

Wincing when you see people not making an effort to correct something they’re doing poorly, especially something that can cause injury, is appropriate for people of all ages!

1
Gumbygirl

We need a picture of Shirtless Joe, so we know exactly how hard we should be shaming you.

Last edited 4 years ago by Gumbygirl
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ballsofsteelandfury

YES!!

1
scotchnaut

I’m guessing he weighs in at about 160. The thing that I really like about my “Arch* Enemy”? When he gets about 10 feet behind me he starts jogging and then stops when he’s about 15 yards ahead, thus precluding any chance of social interaction. Little does he know that the very most I would say to him is “hey”.

*pun intended

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Just went to me local track myself. Disappointingly, no yoga pants. I was the only one in the track. There were some kids practicing soccer but that was it.

0
scotchnaut

When I go in the morning there’s a large-ish community of retired couples, single moms with kids (they let their young un’s goof around on bikes) and groups of teens that are just hanging out. In the afternoon the ‘serious’ folks show up.

1
Beerguyrob

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8C4TGGtPzBU

“Don’t disappoint me, Ray.”

2
King Hippo

I can’t help feeling responsible for your condition. But I also can’t help not caring. It’s who I am, and I refuse to apologize for it.

KITH got the business world better than any book, show, or movie ever has or will.

4
scotchnaut

Back when this came out I was bartending and we happened to have an assistant manager that couldn’t handle 1. Customers 2. Staff 3. Alcohol. One night a buddy and I devised a drink that we thought he could handle. (basically a riff on a Harvey Wallbanger) We called it “The Oogie Kookbar” because that was what we called him behind his back.

1
Beerguyrob

Should have made him a Screaming Viking.

C1C7B63F-6D08-4A0F-9BA0-FF5401A7DAC9.png
1
Doktor Zymm

Damn, some crazy people out there
https://twitter.com/jesscribe/status/1400957797831905281

2
Brick Meathook

If I’m in first class and this shit happens I’m definitely getting a free ticket out of it. If I subdue and/or drag a zip-tied passenger I’m getting two flights out of it, round trip first class and throw in some extra points please. Also, I would have gagged that guy.

2
ArmedandHammered

Love all the news channels wanting to use the footage.

0
Beerguyrob

Hopefully dude got paid.

0
scotchnaut

Okay, there’s a break in the shitty weather so I’m headed to the high school track. Hopefully shirtless 70 year-old guy isn’t putting on his workout casual pants right now so that he can shame/lap me again. [crosses fingers]

2
King Hippo

pretend he’s a hobo, you’ll keep up!

1
Doktor Zymm

Today I learned you can order from the Carnegie Deli online. I probably won’t though.

2
litre_cola

Like to SF or Chicago?

Not sure where in the world Zymm be now

1
Doktor Zymm

I’m back home in CA, next international trip will be Macedonia next month

1
scotchnaut

Lemme guess, you’re in a suburb of San Diego by the name of Carmen.

3
Fronkenshteen

Don’t you have a Danny Rose story?
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Last edited 4 years ago by Fronkenshteen
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Doktor Zymm

This reminds me, I want to add something to the ‘is it a sandwhich?’ debate. I’m of the opinion that sandwiches need to be hand food. If you can’t easily eat it without utensils, it’s not a proper sandwich (although it may be an improper sandwich)

1
Fronkenshteen

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litre_cola

That will get Maestro out of bed.

4
herodotus450

I prefer the Rockefeller BBBQ joint

1
Mr. Ayo

Eat Arbys.

2
litre_cola

1 left in my city of a million people and its in a mall. Curly fries yo.

1
King Hippo

still my favoUrite TWoD:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LmX5c7HoUw

0
BeefReeferLives

& if you’re feeling grim about an ex, here’s a little ditty from Jack. Hope it helps…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOoI16FMo5Y

0
King Hippo

This is what helps me, because I can only lean into the circular saw. Thanks, HippoBrain!

I once played this every morning, for like 3 months solid.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2MnJGBpSR4

1
BeefReeferLives

Thx! Haven’t heard this before (KEXP is so great)

0
litre_cola

Upon further reflection I still have no idea who killed the bottle of Glenmorangie last night.

1
King Hippo

it was probably, uh, other kids or something

1
litre_cola

Decilitre did nae do it. I axed.

3
scotchnaut

Reminds me of this. “Daddy drank for the government”, “Zero times any other number equals ‘F*G!’”, “Just kidding son, I’d never buy you a puppy”. So many great lines in just 3 minutes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Dxk67d0aLc&ab_channel=SketchiT

4
King Hippo

Daddy drank FOAR the government!

0
Doktor Zymm

I need to take a weekend and binge KITH episodes, there’s definitely bits I haven’t seen in years

2
Gumbygirl

Colonel Mustard, in the library, with the candlestick. Final answer.

1
King Hippo

Who can resist Saturday morning PBnJ?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2b_2BFQvw6o

0
scotchnaut

Andrew Mangiapane’s nickname is “Mange” because 1) no one in the hockey community has any imagination whatsoever, and 2) he hopes to play for the Coyotes one day.

3
Dunstan

Yeah, 99% of modern hockey nicknames basically are the first syllable of the last name, with a “-y” or “-s” stuck on the end. Even most of the exceptions are predictable, e.g. anyone named Campbell is “Soupy.”

1
Beerguyrob

At least Artemi Panarin’s nickname is “Bread”.

0
BeefReeferLives

Different Ted, but still seemed apt…. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CpRCc4Jre8

Last edited 4 years ago by BeefReeferLives
2
scotchnaut

Canada takes it 4-2 and meets the winner of Finlandia/Germany in the final. This after starting the tourney 0-3. The U.S. has now lost 8(!) consecutive semi-final tilts.

/kudos to Senator Connor Brown, a slightly above-average defensive forward that has found a scoring touch seemingly out of nowhere. He led Ottawa in goals this year and is now leading all players in points in this competition.

3
Beerguyrob

Still can’t believe they won that game.

1
Wakezilla

Connor Brown has always had the offensive touch. He just never got the ice time until this season with Ottawa.

0
scotchnaut

Canada is up 3-2 on the Dirty Muricans at the International Hockey Champeenships!

/might be a re-run, I have no idea

0
King Hippo

If Al Michaels asks about belief in miracles, is probably a rerun smh

0
scotchnaut

Tretiak was pulled after the 1st period-that’s a good omen.

1
Don T

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ArmedandHammered

That is fucking awesome!

1
Don T

It is. “Humanity is our recipe” makes it perfect.

0
Don T

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Don T

For the record: NOT mine. That’s 171 years of smoking a pack a day.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I assumed the 139 coital interactions were the indicator.

1
Dunstan

“That’s a pretty good week” — Wilt Chambelain

2
Doktor Zymm

This is not how math works!

2
Beerguyrob

Looks like onanism doesn’t count anymore. GUESS YOU WERE WRONG, PASTOR JIM!

2
Don T

Ugh. Need some mirth, stat!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=59Q_lhgGANc

Last edited 4 years ago by Don T
1
Don T

Saddest songs, sweet and forlorn division: “There’s a Heartache Following Me”, the Pete Townshend version. I looked for the original, but prefer PT’s version for his inexpressive tone—perfect for the “I’m fine!” male posturing of the song.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=H_BLPy2W_nI

1
Don T

Sad songs, eh? “Ball and Chain” by Social Distortion always, ALWAYS fucks up my shit. (Update: not if you only play the first 10 seconds.)
It’s great, a wonderful song. Works both as art and as “I’m a fucking loser!” porn.
“You can run all your life and not get anywhere”. Ah yeah, that’s the stuff, the self-pity stuff.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=_NWjehpGSO0

6
King Hippo

Oh, that’s the top shelf stuff!

2
Gumbygirl

A favorite!

0
scotchnaut

There was helluva lightning/thunder going on at 4am here. After it was finally over I felt a bit anxious and couldn’t go back to sleep. I might be a dog.

2
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Hopefully you’re house broken

And hey a typing dog. Coool

1
Brick Meathook

Did you crawl under the bed?

1
Brick Meathook

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Last edited 4 years ago by Brick Meathook
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