Monday Morning Mock Draft, Chapter The 15th, I think

One of the biggest things I miss from our old site was the mock drafts that used to run every Friday. Those were fantastic time wasters, and a good one was a virtual guarantee that you were going to be far from productive at work, as your day instead degenerated into arguments with strangers over who would be the best Saturday cartoon character to have sex with, (and now we all know how that would go), or some other equally inane topic, all of which were still more important than that TPS report deadline your boss was yelling about. Good times.

Well, it’s been long enough. After a discussion in the back channels yours truly is bringing it back, with some slight rule changes. The old site had 4-5 main contributors, one of whom may not have been real. So they’d do 2-3 rounds themselves, then kick it to the kommentariat to draft whatever was left over. You can do that when you’ve only taken 10-15 of whatever topic was up for drafting. We, however, are a much more connected group when it comes to the writin’ and draftin’ of things, so if we did that we’d easily take out 30-50 before we threw the bedraggled leftovers to our beloved readership. That’s no fun. So these drafts, which I expect to last as long as I remember to do them, (2-3 weeks), will just leap right into it.

Also, for content and alliteration reasons, we’ve moved the draft to Monday mornings, so get ready to kill your productivity right from the start.

First come, first served, subject to my randomly assigning the first pick to someone else, generally because they came up with the idea. Or because they bribed me. For now, please wait 10 picks or 30 minutes before making another one. That will be revised up or down depending on how much participation we get, which I hope will be a lot.

Today is July 5th, which means that America has been 245-years-old for all of one day. In honor of this birthday, today’s draft topic is the admittedly broad topic ‘Americana.’ Americana is defined as “related to the history, geography, folklore, and cultural heritage of the United States of America. Americana is any collection of materials and things concerning or characteristic of the United States or of the American people and representative or even stereotypical of American culture as a whole.” Might be blue jeans, might be hamburgers, might be imperialism in the service of capitalism. If you think it reflects the USofA, you go right ahead and draft it.

Have at it! And remember:

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Did someone pick a bunch of jingoistic bullshit? Because that’s my pick.

Also county/state fairs.

BeefReeferLives
Last edited 3 years ago by BeefReeferLives
blaxabbath

Super Troopers on Hulu.

Senor Weaselo

This pick has my thoughts and prayers. Should have been Zymm’s pick but it’s still open.

scotchnaut

Since the thread is winding down, I’ll end it with the Most American Thing Ever: Voting against your own best interests.

blaxabbath

Brits seem to have imported that hard.

scotchnaut

How about the minor celebrity porn/naked photo shoot? I’m thinking John Bobbitt, Octomom, Jessica Hahn and Rita Jenrette.

Beerguyrob

For my next pick, I select movie franchises. Specifically, The Blair Witch franchise.

SonOfSpam

I feel sick for having forgotten that one.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

GO STAND IN THE CORNER UNTIL I’M READY TO DEAL WITH YOU!

Senor Weaselo

Late to the party, but I can waltz in with my first pick, food challenges. Can you eat this ungodly amount of demonically spicy food? In 30 minutes? Good luck!

litre_cola

Here’s a keychain and a hat!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Hot dog eating contests.

blaxabbath

There a ramen place here that has a spiciness level three that makes the end of my broth unpleasant. They have a challenge for eating a bowl with the 7 level.

If I had the no-taste Rona, that’d be my first stop.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Man, the US would get gold, silver, and bronze every time if they made this an Olympic event. VERY Americana.
https://www.rawstory.com/people-killed-in-shootings-weekend/

SonOfSpam
Viva La Tabula Raza

For those of us of a certain age.comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s a great pick.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, this is some “holy shit” type shit.