Your “Tonight On The” Monday Evening Open Thread

NFL Nuggets:

  • Trevor Lawrence signed his rookie contract today. 
    • It’s the usual four-year deal rookie-length contract, but worth $36.8 million, with a $24.1 million signing bonus.
      • He will only count $6.7 million against the salary cap this season.
    • According to Spotrac, the Jags are doing that thing the Patriots did for years with Brady’s contract.
      • His base salary starts at $660,000 & rises to a million over the four years.
      • His annual signing bonus is $6,029,725, and he has roster bonuses starting next season.
      • His cap hit rises to $11.7 million by 2024.
    • No word on a fifth-year option, but there likely is & it favours the team, based on the graphic at Spotrac’s site.

Lawrence, of course, is thrilled to get this aspect of his career started.

  • Speaking of the Jags:
    • They, along with the 49ers & Cowboys, have been fined for OTA violations.
      • According to Schefter,
        • The Jaguars were fined $200,000 and coach Urban Meyer $100,000.
          • The Jags were ordered to forfeit two OTA practices during the first week of the 2022 offseason.
        • The 49ers were fined $100,000 and coach Kyle Shanahan $50,000.
          • They were also ordered to cancel the final week of OTAs last month.
        • The Cowboys were fined $100,000 and coach Mike McCarthy $50,000.
          • They were also ordered to forfeit one OTA practice during the first week of the 2022 offseason.
      • There’s no details as to why, but the phrase “CBA violations” came up a lot in the piece & on Schefter’s Twitter page.
    • File this under “That’s My Raiders” as a future installment, or – more likely – a “Very Special Episode”: Raiders TE Darren Waller says he’s willing to mentor Tim Tebow as he learns the position.
      • “If he thinks he can learn from me,” Waller said of Tebow, “then I’d love to help him and help make his transition smoother.”
  • Tell me if you’ve heard this one before: Afterschool Special topic Josh Gordon has applied for reinstatement.
    • The NFL has apparently been randomly drug testing Gordon for the past three months, and he is said to have passed all tests.
      • It’s his sixth suspension since the 2013 season.
    • If successful, he would become a free agent.
  • Speaking of Very Special Episodes – The NFL has fined Washington $10 million for creating & perpetuating a toxic work environment. 
    • All senior executives, including the Snyders, will take part in training in workplace conduct, covering topics such as bullying, diversity and inclusion, LGBTQ+ issues, microaggression and unconscious bias.
    • And on the apology front,
      • “It is now clear that the (workplace) culture was not what it should be, but I did not realize the extent of the problems, or my role in allowing that culture to develop and continue.”
      • “I can’t turn back the clock, but I promise that nobody who works here will ever have that kind of experience again, at least not as long as Tanya and I are the owners of this team.”
    • On the CYA front,
      • The League didn’t ask for a written report.
        • This is despite the fact that the cost for the report into the organization cost $7 million in legal fees.
        • Lawyers representing the harassed employees are expected to ask the NFL to save all documentation in advance of discovery motions.
      • The theory is that they didn’t want a written report to avoid documentation being leaked.
  • As always, friend of the site DrawPlayDave has the proper summation:

Finally, this is more of a “social problem film” than Very Special Episode – the Cowboys will be this season’s team on “Hard Knocks”.

  • It’s their third appearance.
    • They previously appeared in 2002 & 2008.
  • HBO and NFL Films announced Friday that the five-episode season will debut on August 10th at 10:00pm ET.
    • It’s the 16th season, and HBO and NFL Films have an agreement to continue the series through 2024.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Tampa Bay at Montreal – 8:00pm | NBC / CBC / Sportsnet
      • Game 4 – Lightning are up 3-0
        • Bettman will be in the building.
  • NBA:
    • The Finals starts tomorrow night
  • Futbol:
    • Copa America 2021: Semifinal
      • Brazil vs. Peru – 7:00pm | FS1 / TSN4/5
  • MLB:
    • White Sox at Twins – 7:00pm | ESPN / TSN3
    • Red Sox at Angels – 10:00pm | ESPN / TSN3
  • Wrestling:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00pm | USA / Sportsnet360

I’m thinking Tampa plans a parade & Montreal prepares for fires.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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TheRevanchist

Work blocked me on this site, calling it “Mature Humor”. Who the hell is being mature around here, and have they seen what passes for humor? Fucking work!

Viva La Tabula Raza

When I am on the work VPN I am blocked from this site, which is why I don’t participate most weekdays.

Doktor Zymm

I’m too old to live fast and die young. What is the prevailing opinion on living 10 – 15 mph above the speed limit and dying in upper middle age? I can definitely still manage that

Doktor Zymm

More Whitney Houston, Billie Holiday, or Dolores Riordan as opposed to any members of the 27 club

SonOfSpam

Really wanna see George Wallace and Flea at a Farmers Market and right soon.

Gumbygirl

They should hang out. Hey, I just noticed I’ve been bannered, aw shucks ( blushes)

Doktor Zymm

I’m not the only one who knows this isn’t the racist governor, but can’t help thinking of that dude and what a total shitshow it would have been if there had been Twitter back then, right?

Dunstan

The Habs stayed alive for another game. I’m eating duck breast in red wine and cherry sauce, with sauteed mushrooms and spinach, and a glass of pinot noir. Life is not awful at the moment.

Gumbygirl

That sounds good, I love duck. I made risotto with asparagus amd peas. It was good, but I am in desperate need of some crunchiness.

Dunstan

But Gumby not so much with the crunchy stuff now, right?

Doktor Zymm

It would be solo food, the only time a celery stick might be a guilty pleasure

Gumbygirl

Sneak out to the car with a bag of fritos.

Gumbygirl

Like this guy

Frito_Bandito.png
Doktor Zymm

Do it! Munch away!

Gumbygirl

Thank you for enabling me, I knew I could count on you!

Gumbygirl

Not yet, but it shouldn’t be much longer. He’s getting tired of soft food.

Redshirt

I’m torn between Quattuorvigintuple Overtime or an Own Goal.

Redshirt

Je ne peux pas avoir de belles choses.

herodotus450

Nothing could be better than Shea Weber in the box in overtime enabling Tampa to score, and he has to sit in there and watch their whole cup celebration.

blaxabbath

So Trevor Lawrence gonna keep his womens haircut huh?

Then again, shucking his college persona didn’t do much to help NFL quarterback MITCHELL Trubisky.

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Doktor Zymm

He’s hedging his bets. If the football thing doesn’t work out maybe he can at least do a shampoo commercial

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I can’t get over the Gilette ad that just played. He still had a stubble even after he was done shaving! Like, he’s so manly that the razor doesn’t even work, and if you buy that razor you’ll be that manly too!

blaxabbath

Come to think of it, I’ve never tried opening a can of beer to see if bikini clad hoes appeared around me looking to party.

Doktor Zymm

That is actually how I have acquired all of my bikinis and gardening equipment

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I thought non-metropolitan Florida was against trans athletes?

Doktor Zymm

Back in the US and my apartment. I really feel sorry for my neighbors’ dog. It’s a big family with a bunch of loud kids and they’ve picked a breed (looks like a large bulldog, but not quite, might be a cross?) that no one in the family, especially not the kids who spend a lot of time alone with the dog, are qualified to handle. They make a good effort, but that dog is going to be wearing a muzzle and misbehaving because it’s confused its whole life. When I drove in the dog was walking one of the older kids (maybe early teens?) down the middle of the road in the parking lot and I had to stop to give the kid time to wrestle the dog out of the road so I could pass. They all seem to be happy and love the dog, so hopefully it works out okay, but there are so many ways it could all go wrong

Dunstan

Ok, I am a very bad person for being upset that they’re interrupting the Stanley Cup with an Amber Alert. I’m not going to see this kidnapper, I’m busy watching hockey!

Doktor Zymm

That’s a legit complaint. It isn’t like child abductors also break into people’s homes to steal their beer and watch the game

Dunstan

Always weird when a sports broadcast decides to pay tribute to itself. NBC’s broadcast contract expires after this season, so they just ran an intermission feature on how awesome and innovative they were. Does anyone actually care? Mostly I’m just happy because so far neither of the new rights owners has hired Pierre McGuire.

litre_cola

He used to do an hour on the radio here many moons ago and it was horrific.

Dunstan

Oh, come on, where else are you going to get vital information about each player’s hometown, junior team, etc.? I mean, other than hockeydb, Wikipedia, NHL.com, TSN.com….

litre_cola

Never has a bad word to say about anyone.

“He let in 6 in the first period but this product out of Shattuck-St.Mary’s is really tracking the puck well.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m hungry but I don’t feel like cooking any food so instead I’m having a Guinness.

scotchnaut

Have you considered, perhaps, having a lovely, juicy peach?

blaxabbath

I made the Sunday Gravy chicken.

It isn’t as good as Chicken + 40 Cloves

Viva La Tabula Raza

There’s a sandwich in every six-pack.

herodotus450

Montreal scores to gain their first lead of the series, only have to keep it up for 1000 more minutes or so.

Game Time Decision

Technically they only need the lead for like 4 seconds to win the series but that’s nawt gunna happen

Doktor Zymm

“I promise, no more microaggressions. I will stick to macroaggressions, like tying members of the organization to train tracks, from now on! ” -Snyder Whiplash

Viva La Tabula Raza

Nyah-ah-ah!

herodotus450

Love that the big praise for Tampa is their skating ability up and down the lineup. Skating ability, in hockey, who’da thunk that’d be important?

scotchnaut

“ONE TIME MY AHL COACH EDDIE SHORE BET ME THAT I COULDN’T DRINK 16 BEERS ON THE TRAIN RIDE FROM ROCHESTER TO SYRACUSE. I LOST THE BET AND I HAD TO DEEPTHROAT ‘BIG’ BILL STEMKOSKI, A ROOKIE WHO JUST CAME OVER FROM FLIN FLON. HE TASTED A BIT SWEET, I’LL NEVER FORGET THAT. BUT YEAH, SKATING ABILITY IS REALLY IMPORTANT!”

-Don Cherry, probably

Dunstan

“DURRRR… YOU CAN’T TEACH SIZE!” — NHL GMs

scotchnaut

Neymar is writhing on the ground, as was foretold in The Book Of Obvious Behavior, written by Neymar.

litre_cola

comment image

Ummm Alberta may want to rename this one.

scotchnaut

I mean, “Displaced People’s Final Happy Resting Place” has a bit more zing, if you think about it.

WCS

comment image
“I don’t see anything wrong.”

— Dan S., MD

rockingdog

Brazil vs Peru is pretty Rocking

scotchnaut

“I give it a 9.8!”

-Greg Louganis

scotchnaut

Josh Gordon has gone down ‘Redemption Road’ so often it needs to be re-paved.

Gumbygirl

He’d be fine, if they would just stop testing him for drugs.

scotchnaut

You can spot a Gumbytarian from a mile away these days, smh