Donks In The Year of Our Plague LAWD 2021!

Praise Jeebus, proper FITBAW is just around the corner.  And though GAMBLOR is open for many Central European futbol leagues…my soul is turning to MOAR violent matters.

Injuries and woeful quartered backing have basically killed the last two Donks seasons in the crib.  As such, Don Fangio has (rightfully, in my view) been given a third bite at the apple.  I mean, fuck’s sake, why be super aggressive in “win now” mode when the Chefs are on Mahomesy’s rookie contract?  Be patient, see if you can build something.

And I think that’s what we did in the 2021 Draft, despite *not* going QB at #9, even with Fields and that douchebro from Alabama still available.  When in doubt, grab a defensive skill player from the SEC West.  Patrick Surtain likely tops out as the #3/4 CB this season, but that’s good.  You really can’t have too much defensive backfield depth in the modern NFL, especially in the AFC West.

Plus…dude looks GOOD in camp.  Like, another cornerstone player for the next decade.  Hippo likey.

Then, Denver did what I had long wanted them to do with the QB room.  Enter Teddy Ballgame!  He was quite good (or at least cromulent) last season, until he got hurt and then rushed back.  Proper competition AND mentor type for Horse Cock Lock.  You have two guys who will compete hard for the job, and push one another…without being total dickasses (cough, cough, Joe Flacco).  You get the best of all worlds.

Maybe Lock comes good.  Maybe not, and you get the Bridge Over Troubled Waters.  That’s also fine, you can compete for the playoffs with Teddy’s “floor” and a dominant defense.  Assuming Von “Black Hipster” Miller can be 80-90% of his peak, badass self?  Then Hippo will proudly have his Chubb on all autumn long.

I am still a tad concerned about linebacker play.  Certainly linebacker depth.  Right tackle is also a mystery box, and one doesn’t like those at OL.  But I’mma trust Munchak, he fixed our ret…Special Young Man at left tackle, so that trust be earned.  The kickers are good, and supposedly improving special teams play is a key area of emphasis in camp.  Cautious optimism reigns that this is a 9 or 10 win team, which would represent significant progress.

But even if it all falls to shit, it’s still proper goddamned mathematical violence, and I will be damned glad to have it back.

There is talk of a fantasy roundtable for next Saturday, followed by a two-part Premiership preview.  So keep yo’ asses tuned.