No one got the song puzzle last week, so I am rerunning the songs. Y’all got pretty close with the states thing, but I wasn’t going to make it that easy for you.
There is a relationship between the states that you need to figure out.
Thanks again to y’all that contribute pictures! I greatly appreciate your input and I think our collective penises appreciate the pictures.
On to Balls’ Thoughts O’ Da Week!
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Balls’ AFL Grand Final Preview
Yes, it’s the matchup that everyone expected at the beginning of the year: Melbourne Demons against the Western Bulldogs.
Of course, absolutely no one expected this matchup. However, no one can really say that these two teams don’t deserve to be there as they have really been the two most consistent teams in the entire competition.
During the Home and Away season, the Demons beat the Doggies by 28 (59-87) at Marvel Stadium while the Doggies beat the Demons by 20 (65-85) at the MCG. Both “home” teams lost the games.
That doesn’t really tell us much about what to expect for the Grand Final being held in Perth, does it?
Alls I know is that it is airing TONIGHT at 2:15 AM Pacific and 5:15 AM Eastern. I hope you East Coasters are able to wake up early to watch it. It’s honestly much better than the crappy EPL games. The channels are FS2 and TSN2.
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Balls’ Book Corner
As I previously mentioned, I started reading the Fractured Europe series thanks to Hippo’s recommendation. I finished Europe in Autumn and wrote about it in a previous edition of Sexy Friday. I subsequently ordered Europe At Midnight, the second book in the series, and have now also finished it.
First off, let me say that it’s a completely different story with different characters from the first book but it is occupying the same universe. Some of the characters from the first book do make an appearance and do tie up some loose ends and also tie characters together.
The purpose of this second book is to develop the background from the other side of the story. Those of you that have read the books know what that means. It’s very hard to write about these books without giving away too much. I feel this is one of those books that is perfectly made for Book Clubs. Like people read them and then get together to talk about what they’ve read and what they think is next.
I’ve never thought about joining a Book Club. Mostly because I’m pretty anti-social, but reading this book kinda makes me understand why people would do it. You wanna share the cool shit you read but you really can’t do that with your friends because not everyone will know what you are talking about and they won’t necessarily relate.
Anyway, I greatly enjoyed the second book and I have today received the third! I will be writing about that one in the coming weeks.
I’ll just say that I want to thank Hippo for recommending this series. I am greatly enjoying it.
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For those of you prudes that don’t like cheesecake or beefcake, click HERE to skip to the music videos.
Here are your Top 11 pictures of the week.
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YOU’RE-A-PRUDE
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And now, for the music!
As I mentioned before, I’ve decided that I must take up the mantle that tWBS ran with and help to make this world a better place. I will do this in the one way he couldn’t: By introducing you to good music!
Today we are back to the puzzles! No one guessed last week’s puzzle, so I’m replaying it. You guessed that all the songs mentioned states. That’s the first part of the solution. The next part is that you need to determine how those states are related.
As always, I will give up to three hints in the comments at your request. You try to determine the hidden theme or link between all the songs. Good luck!
Song Number One:
Canción Número Dos:
Chanson Numéro Trois:
Canzone numero quattro:
Canção número cinco
Seigarren zenbakia:
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That’s all for this week, folks! Be good to each other and fly low and avoid the radar.
What a finish in Canadia.
Alright. Y’all know I’ve been talking about Reedley College for awhile. Yes, that really is brother DJ TAJ who did the boots on the ground thing.
But now I’ve got real world interest to throw at you.
Netflix has a show called “Last Chance U” and the second season is about a team called “Langley.” from the Northern part of the state and I can respect that.
Watch that shit. It’s compelling as hell. These guys play for a possible chance at the dance and for love of the game.
Guess who the Reedley Fucking Tigers play tomorrow?
Made for television shit here, baby.
This was why they got promoted.
There doesn’t seem to be any pattern to why I get logged off this site. I can be on for days, and then I’ll have a day where I have to log in 4 or 5 times. Weird.
Greetings, alpaca afficiaonados.
.
Parking at the hotel we’re staying: $65 per night, and not even valet.
Spothero garage 3 blocks away? $24 for 2.5 days.
For $170 I’ll walk a lot farther than 3 blocks.
I shudder to think what Buddy would do for $170.
FUCK! San Diego is $45 a night and that’s insane since I never even move my car.
Mrs. In TX and I will soon be working in the same building, and as parking is really expensive in the Texas Medical Center, we will be carpooling. It may put a *teensy* strain on the ol’ marriage, as she is decidedly not a morning person.
Anyway, you made the right decision. 3 blocks is nothing when you’re saving $160.
Now this is sexy
Courtesy of our recently wed friend BFC, a delicious Imperial Stout with coconut and chocolate, as well as a kick of some sort of Mexican spice, (it’s cocaine isn’t it, you bastard), that makes for a great end of night beer.
Oddly, i thought that was too strong/intense (glad you like it though).
Have you tried the El jefe caliente yet?
(i also don’t remember what else was in that shipment! Did I send a coconut IPA? Velvet strawberry milkshake?)
The El Jefe was good, a solid 4 on Untapped. You also sent a strawberry one that I split with several friends, (looking at Untapped I think I sampled about 13 different beers that night), and it was surprisingly good.
I kind of regretted sharing it.
The one I’m drinking now has coconut, which I’m usually not a fan of, but it’s not overwhelming, and really compliments the other flavoUrs.
Get a fixed address so I can return the favor!
We have a place for the next six weeks, does that count?
Maybe even 7!
DM me the address. I’ll get you something nice. With my complEments.
*complements
Fuck
That looks chewy.
Fair.
Very heavy, but not in a bad way.
So, neither of the jackasses are anywhere near as awesome as Angela Merkel. She was 36 when she first won her Bundestag seat, aren’t there any middle aged people available for chancellor?
She’s finishing her 3rd term and is younger than our President, Speaker of the House, Senate Majority Leader, and Senate Minority Leader, and younger than the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th ranking House members. And that’s not even considering that doddering ass Feinstein.
We need term limits or some sort of age restriction, like you can’t start a term in the House or Senate if you’re going to turn 70 during it, and you can’t run for President past 70.
We need long term planning, and the current leadership just has absolutely no skin in that game.
The double standards are infuriating. I am a dull “neoliberal centrist” asshole, so AOC is to my left, but she is a serious, intelligent person who represents her district well, but she’s treated like some dumb young idiot not entitled to a voice in Dem leadership, whereas the GOP can put up assholes like MTG and Cawthorne and they’re the de facto leaders of that party.
AOC caved in on giving Israel an extra $1 billion for their Iron Dome defense system, (I mean, it was in our couch cushions, so why not give it away instead of getting Flint, MI, clean water), by voting ‘present’, ad then gave a half-assed explanation for it.
The problem with the Dems as I, (a straight, white, upper-middle-class male who’s has too many beers), see it, is that they continue to pay far too much respect to fossils like Pelosi, Hoyer, Schumer, Feinstein, etc., and not enough to young up-and-comers, like Pelosi herself, to show themselves as a desirable alternative to the GOP, at least to most voters.
We are long past the point where the Dems can get away with being the party of the middle. This country has no middle, and continuing to tailor your approach to a middle that no longer exists is a a recipe for disaster. “When they go low, we go high” sounds good, just like “turn the other cheek” sounds good. The result, however, is that you have two bruised cheeks and just got you ass knocked into the mud, again.
Reminds me of those cases I have where pedestrians get hit by are because they walked in front of them, then claim they had the right of way. Yeah, maybe you did, but tell me how it feels yelling “I have the moral high ground” while sailing through the air with two broken legs, a shattered pelvis, and about to add a fractured skull to you problems, while the GOP tears off down the road and eliminates voting rights for anyone with a tan. You useless pieces of shit.
I’ve been drinking. Does it show?
Eh, seems pretty coherent to me.
Dems need to learn that sometimes, people just want to know that you’re fighting for them and their values. Voters don’t pay a ton of attention to the details, or even to what gets accomplished.
That’s why I generally like AOC and Elizabeth Warren, who may be to my left, but are smart, policy-focused, and willing to get in the trenches and fight.
That’s a really well thought out reply and succinct in it’s delivery.
Especially after drinking a cerveza colada.
I just liked Angela. She had a really nice seamstress.
I did not see this coming, but “sexy British Columbia Lions fans” gets you their cheerleaders, three girls who might be 12 posing with a player, and this guy:
?quality=90&strip=all&w=400
Seriously, CFL, what the fuck, eh?
Hey, that’s how Pam Anderson got started.
I mean, not by blowing that guy’s trumpet, I meant by being a sexy BC Lions fan
God help me, I looked for “sexy Saskatchewan (Yes, I fucked up the spelling more than once), Rough Riders fans” and this is what came up:
If I have to live with it, you have to live with it. Do better, Saskatchewan.
Impressive beer can placement to avoid nipplage.
Nothing you wouldn’t see in Green Bay, Minneapolis, Jacksonville, or Yinzburgh.
Look, if you want to summon Buddy Cole, you can be more subtle than “sexy Rough Riders”
Watching Padres play the Braves, so “sexy Atlanta Braves fans” brings us this:
In fairness to our Whale’s Vagina, (German edition), brethren, I also looked up “Sexy Hartford Whalers fans”, and other than Megan Fox in a Whalers T-shirt and some really sad looking dudes in bars, this is what we’re left with.
Kind of surprised her first name is John, but gender’s a fluid thing these days
It’s the lipstick
Mermaid lipstick.
2/10, toenails don’t match the lips, would not.
Liar!
To be fair he didn’t say exactly what it was he would not
True.
I wouldn’t fuck MTG with Bea Arthur’s dick.
/I think that’s Dean Martin’s line
Nice blue job.
Just so you guys don’t curse me on your deathbed for making you listen to Shania Twain, here’s a hint:
The state in the Shania Twain song is Minnesota.
Multiple national championships?
Rose Bowl.
DING DING DING DING!!
The official answer is “Each song mentions a state with a team that has won the Rose Bowl”
Yayyy! I was determined to get this one!
Places Lou Holthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh has coached?
I looked up “sexy San Diego Padres fans” and got this, which is a stunning indictment of San Diego.
Step your shit up, Padres.
Teams from those states have all won the Sun Bowl.
(New Mexico is really fucking me up)
Forget New Mexico. BUT YOU ARE RED HOT. It’s not the Sun Bowl.
I think I saw this same picture on a milk carton a couple of years back.
Holy shit, if you aren’t watching CFL on ESPN2 right now you need to be. An indigenous woman is on their talking about how ‘Orange shirt day’ is the product of divine guidance , or something, and she sounds high as fuck.
She has become my spirit animal.
As she keeps talking it appears that this has something to do with the children who died in residential schools, so buy a shirt you assholes.
All of the songs were on an episode of beavis and butthead where butthead mentions cream cheese?
States with D-1 champion football teams?
Not sure about the Shania Twain song, but I’m not going to listen to a Shania Twain song to find out.
One of the lines in Route 66 references Gallup, New Mexico.
So, I’m guessing that ain’t it.
OMG you’re so close!
Don’t make me listen to Shania Twain.
I’ll try to build off of that. D1 champs more recently than the professional team.
It’s not D1 champs.
Folks.
I think the Instacart interview today went reasonably well, or at least nothing horrible went wrong. No idea how to actually evaluate myself on a lot of this stuff. I liked the people who interviewed me, and it seems like a good company, so I hope I get an offer. I have a check in call with the recruiter on Tuesday, so should know then unless there’s debate
Cool, and again, I want free Stater Bros delivery.
But also, I hope you get a better gig.
(and don’t forget my free delivery)
Hell, if it works out well I will be in such a good mood I will fly down to SoCal and buy everyone drinks worth a couple delivery fees
You call this sexy when there isn’t even a single alpaca?? Harrumph I say!
Scroll down for the Hot Alpaca Action!
I’ve started to look for old football books on the internet archive. Right now I’m reading Fatso by Art Donovan.
https://archive.org/details/fatso00arth
This one opened my eyes as to the nuances of football. Zimmerman was a gifted writer.
I picked up “they’re playing my game” by hank stram. It was pretty good. Unique insight into the AFL.
He was hilarious on Letterman!
Balls, these states all have an eponymous University.
This is true, but there’s more to it.
That university has been a national champ? Had a Heisman winner?
VERY close!
The university team is usually better than the closest corresponding nfl team?
Okay, I legitimately discovered this less than 5 minutes ago. Anthony likey.
https://youtu.be/LQtqH6ym7JI
Anyone watching JV football on ESPN2? It’s the surprisingly good Wake Forest currently handling the also surprisingly good Virginia.
Watching the CFL
Argos vs Alouettes
Sometimes I wish that Brady Quinn had a longer nfl career so we could have had made more “Brady Quinn is gay jokes”
“Brady Quinn, huh?” [boycotts DFO]
-Aaron Rodgers, feeling petulant
That feels like about 7 lifetimes ago.
Turns out the last time he was active in the NFL was only 7 years ago.
I had to look that up. I just assumed he never played after the Broncos
He married Alicia Sacramone, a Olympic medalist in gymnastics.
If that’s gay then slap my ass and call me Buddy.
For a gay guy, A-A-Ron is doing quite well with the
LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADIES!!!
/Xenu help me I so regret this.
Every gal needs her fabulous gay pal tho
Hey guys, The Die Hard Channel, wait, no, AMC is showing Die Hard right now.
So last week I asked a question about basic photo editing. Making a a little arts and crafts project for myself.
Long story short i scrapped my original and remade it using ms paint. A before and after, anyone wants to give feedback cuz i have no experience with this stuff
The original:
But with the magic of ms paint, inverted colors, and learning to make images all the same size, I made this:
In hindsight, I was going for a minimalist approach
Me: [knocks on door]
Balls: [opens door] “Can I help you?”
Me: “Uh?, I’m here for the Alpaca Gang Bang?”
We’re still alpacing? I tried to post this yestiddy. I have a stuffed alpaca!
Ah yeah, that’s the good stuff!
Ah yeah, that’s the good stuff!
Because it was so funny yesterday
This better be the right place, otherwise I am going to look really silly walking around with this sexy alpaca
They’re all states that have D1 football teams?
They’re all states in which Balls has made sweet sweet whoopee?
They’re all states that were not in the original 13?
They’re all states that are not states of matter?
They’re all locations without an afl team?
1- Yes and you’re absolutely on the right track there!
2- No, but I’d wager Rikki has.
3- This is true but irrelevant
4- Depends on your opinion of Ohio.
The theme is states Shania Twain has toured
I can not stay up late enough to watch the grand final. I was up til 2 last night for work anyway.
Chrissie Hynde is a national treasure, and Kid Rock is a galactic disgrace.
You are 100% correct.
Watching the Woodstock ’99 documentary and seeing Kid Rock onstage just filled me with revulsion.
While we were trying different things
And we were smoking funny things
This is a rhyming couplet from that Kid Rock song. Should be a capital crime.
Reminds of that time when Jim Morrison, the God Poet, rhymed “Fire” with “fire” in Light My Fire.
At the very least, that song had an interesting keyboard riff. Plus none of The Doors voted for Trump.
Unsurprisingly, their minds were closed to the idea.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eISAKoa_NL0&ab_channel=EvanNott
But they presumably flew open.
Only because Morrison was dead.
I would expect Jim Morrison to vote for Jill Stein, except his vote wouldn’t count because he mailed his ballot 2 weeks after the 2020 election and also it was the 2016 ballot
Ah, the “Kanye.”
No one has made a more lucrative career out of rhyming words with the same words than Kanye.
The Dude: The Eagles :: Balls: Jim Morrison
I enjoy Jim Morrison’s poetry. Gumby and I used to do dramatic readings from ‘The Lords and the New Church.” Mad fun when you’re high as hell!
For an extra twenty bucks Kid Rock will suck your dick.
What will it cost for him *not* to suck my dick?
Thirty
(opens wallet)
/Venmos Anthony $10