Are we going to call him “Alpaca”? Of course “Giraffe” is already taken.
Newsy Notes:
-It’s Not You, It’s Them: The most flags thrown by refs in any week was 198 until this season came along. The first week 214 penalties were called and last week 221 flags were tossed. Cleaning up the game by slowing it to a crawl is such a typical NFL Braintrust boner that I needn’t say anything more.
-Slow Down Bears Fans: A rookie Chicago qb has never won his first start on the road.
-There’s talk that if Wentz’s ankles aren’t game-ready (and it seems that’s the case) that the Colts will play both Jacob Eason and practice squadder and general layabout Brett Hundley. If you saw the former play last week you might not think this strategy was that nutty. Ramifications-wise, look for rb Taylor to get a million carries and yes, feel free to stream the Titans D.
To The Game!
-So what do we have here in one Davis Mills? A blissfully short dig into his particulars reveal that by being ranked as the Number One Recruit, (over Tua) he likely peaked in high school. He started all of 11 games at Stanford so he’s as raw as they come. (take your bets as to whether he finishes the game. I say no) A scouting report called him ‘athletic’ at 6’4″, 217 but his rushing average was 1.4 yards in college. I believe we have a ‘stand in the pocket’ type here.
-The Panthers D has gotten off to a fantastic start but it’s a bit too early to say whether they are really actually good or not. Though in this game circumstance I can’t help but feel that they’re going to improve on their 10 sacks and 21 qb hits.
-That, combined with Teddy B’s competent— “What!? [puts finger to earpiece] Darnold? Him?” Okay, the leap-to-conclusion folks are saying that Sam is a completely new qb. Why, his passer rating is 14th in the league! We’ll see how things go but I’m just glad he got out of New York with his mental health intact.
-Look for, as always, tons of McCaffrey and lots of play action. Darnold completes 75% of those passes and he averages 10 yards per. The Texans D has not defended variations on that play very well.
-Times running out! Take Carolina in Survivor this week.
Do me a solid a make a dick joke down below
I could write an entire post about this set by Marvin Gaye from the 1964 TAMI show that would completely shame every one my dumb submarine stories.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPc8xgmZ35c
I’ve seen a lot of these covid memes on facebook but this one is by far the funniest.
Heh, republicans…
https://twitter.com/maricopacounty/status/1441228176600952839?s=21
The Cyber Ninja count actually had a bigger margin for Biden. Which is actually irrelevant, because I wouldn’t trust the Cyber Ninja’s to correctly count the number of nickels you’d get as change for a quarter. Which, as we all know, is five bees.
I’m actually surprised. I figured they were such hacks that they’d just make shit up entirely.
But he…is using timeouts here. WHY? Hasn’t your alpaca been beat the fuck up enough?
I’m just waiting for some casual person to show up on Sunday and go “What’s with all the Alpaca posts?!”
“DFO turned into an alpaca porn site so gradually, I hardly noticed!”
“I specifically meant to come here for my Blair Witch jokes!”
I think they could attract some interesting new people!
He clearly hasn’t read the manual
?format=500w
The best thing I can say about this game is at least the NFL gave up on those ‘ColoUr Rush’ abominations.
lol Biden fired Lee Greenwood from some Arts Council and the MAGAts are SALTY.
Should have fired him into the sun for that horrible, horrible song.
…and AOC is crying because Isreal keeps their Air Defense System? I don’t know. I quit actively following politics since 2017. I only pay attention every 4th 1st Tuesday in November to see if America still a Democracy. In the long run, it has helped my sanity.
Dad appears to have discovered ayuhasca, or however you spell it.
Ayahuasca. Should have gone with peyote, I can spell that.
Forward progress? What’s that?
-this ref crew
THERE’s that strength. An extra sticker FOAR the quartered back!
THIS GUY SAM DARNOLD, I CALL HIM 9/11, BECAUSE ALL HE NEEDED TO DO WAS GET AWAY FROM THE JETS!
Brewed for the night? Either with contraceptive hops or gtfo
As the perfect condiment on this turd sandwich of a game, if there’s no more scoring it would be a push in Vegas.
Wow, I hadn’t though about larva boob for a long time.
Thanks Brocky.
I like the fact that now that Lovie Smith is out of Chicago, he doesn’t have to worry about covering for Dr. Kimble anymore.
I was just going to ask if he was in witness protection.
You misspelled “witless”
So did Lovie
Truly stunned that wasn’t called for roughing the passer.
Y’all have posted so many Alpaca pictures that I could make a special Sexy Alpaca Friday post just to commemorate the occasion…
All the +1’s
And we thought the Russians were our most problematic visitors…
The sexiest Alpacas of them all!
At this point I’m watching in hopes of a Scorigami
That or a tie. If this isn’t a game no one deserves to win, I don’t know what is.
It’s not looking good on that front.
I’m playing Carolina’s D in FF, so I’m watching out of fear.
The only thing remotely feasible at this point is 25-9, which…yeah, that isn’t happening.
If they only went for two…
I’m amazed that it actually came close to happening!
I think 17-6 would be an ideal final score for this game. Low-scoring but not actually competitive.
Well
This game is over. Time to go to bed. Good night, all you lovely people. I’ll see y’all tomorrow.
I’m not sure about the Texans “Cover-Nobody” scheme.
Something called TOmmy Tremble scored a touchdown for Carolignia, part of the vaunted Tremble and Bass backfield attack.
That sounds like the name of member of a music-themed gang in a comic book.
From the cutting room floor: Tommy Tremble, more like [insert famouse person with Parkinson’s Disease here]!
This game is sucking my love of football out of my very soul.
ESPN is showing Appalachian State against Marshall. Might be better quality.
I thought about flipping there for a minute, but then belched and let inertia carry me forward.
Marshall would never be involved in a disaster as big as this game.
Took my daughter to see Marshall vs. UC in 2019. I’m an MU grad, she’s going to UC. We left at the end of the third quarter and the score was 10e6 to 7 or something like that. Fortunately (or unfortunately) she doesn’t GAS about football enough to make fun of me over that.
You always hear about his kind’s strength, but that was some Special Young Man speed!
Once that short bus gets going it doesn’t stop for anything other than something shiny.
BLEERGH feats on Thursdays
The Texans should just go full heel and put Watson in.
Watson coming in surely won’t rub fans the wrong way.
He’s inactive still, they brought up that Driskel abortion from PS
I thought that problem with Watson was that he was too active.
That jailbreak sack may be why they didn’t go for it on 4th and 4.
yeah, think they were boned either way
Isn’t Earl Campbell pretty much crippled these days?
think he’s also, like, ridiculously fat
It’s hard to get your cardio in when your knees don’t work and you’re spine’s been hammered into oblivion.
14-6 feels like an insurmountable lead
MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE PUNTED ON 4TH AND SHORT FROM MIDFIELD IN A 1-POINT GAME, TEXANS
Due to this boring ass game, I’ve gone on a YouTube dive. I’ve know have my response to Bengals losses and stupid political stratagems.
“Yeah, I saw your plan and I noticed a few flaws in it:
#1: EVERYTHING!
#2: EVEN MORE SOMEHOW!”
If Bowser Had An Assistant – YouTube
I went looking for reasons that my dog is pissing in the house, so I’d say you’re having the more fun.
/It’s because he’s an asshole
I’m YouTubing video game parody. I’m not exactly winning life here.
Did you just haul a carpet out of the dining room that smelled of dog urine? No?
Here’s your trophy.
Redshirt: At least my life’s not full of dog piss.
I learned it from YOU! – dog nods at cat
Not sure about dogs, but when my family cat pees outside of the litter box, its a sign she’s saying something, usually “I’m not feeling well” or “I’m upset about something”.
Maybe your dog is also filing a formal complaint.
Based on the rabbit hole I just went down I think it may be that he’s alone more than he’s used to because the kids are out of the house, so if my wife and I go out it’s just him, and he’s always been a bundle of anxiety.
Either that or he’s got a bladder infection and the vet’s gonna get me for a mortgage payment, so for now I’m going to believe that he’s just nuts.
My cat has anxiety too, so we give her anxiety medication to calm her down…by wrapping her in a blanket, holding her down and showing a pill shooter down her throat.
We have a cat in heart meds, (First World, amirite?), and we cut them up and stick it in his wet food. He never even notices.
I had a cat like that. He had food issues his entire life, he was a barncat who was the starving runt when my in laws found him. He gobbled every meal like he was afraid it was his last.
Mills looking…competent?
https://youtu.be/ENXvZ9YRjbo
Never mind. Image didn’t want to play along.
https://twitter.com/rodger/status/1441221265780404230?s=20
that’s…oddly impressive
Right?
For a regular dumbass like me, 0-39 w/ 37 strikeouts isn’t anything worth writing home about. I suck at baseball.
But for a guy who’s good enough to actually make it to the minors? That’s downright crazy.
How do you get to professional baseball and not register a hit?
I’m no Abner Doubleday but doesn’t 47 PA and 39 AB mean he walked or got hit by pitch 8 times as well?
or bunted a few times
BLEERGH is apparently an alpaca fan.
That’s how he gets the good parking spot
Cute baby pictures
I have just been informed that in the Bucs game this weekend, “the ball with be thrown all around the football field.” That’s the kind of insight you can’t get from just anyone.
A Wild Card Playoff game on Monday Night is ungodly, not in a good way tho.
I may have forgotten there was football tonight. Let’s go DJ Moore!
Are you sure you haven’t deejayed enough already, sir?