Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.  

As a Canadian that does work for mostly USA based companies this is my favoUrite non-vacation week of the year.  Nothing much new happens work wise after today and I get 2 days to work on all the stuff that I never get to work on due to meetings and emails and whatnot.  And bonus futball Thursday afternoon on the second monitor.  What’s not to love?

As most of you have noticed, the site is acting up again.  Needless to say, but DFO’s bestest and brightest are working on it.  Or should be.  Maybe.  So, please keep refreshing the page and trying to log in and it will eventually work.  It’s not you, it’s us.

As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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I don’t want to write up Chefs/That’s Rikki’s Raiders! so I ain’t gonna.

Dammit Hippo, what are we paying you for?
montythisseemsstrangetome

If they fail to make the playoffs this season, I’m going to respectfully ask that we start referring to them as “Alan Smithee’s Raiders”.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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I hate everything about football and will never watch it again.

See you all Thursday night.
SonOfSpam

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LOL
“Because of FCC regulations, I wasn’t going to be too descriptive on how he trapped that ball and where he trapped it” [Tainterception from MNF]
Doktor Zymm

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Long day at work. I felt I had no choice but to order a cheesesteak for dinner. Sorry, arteries, you’ve got to take one for the team.

Oh, don’t look so smug, liver, I’ve got something heading your way, too.
Dunstan

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How have I never heard Levi Stadium referred to as “The Field of Jeans” before??
Doktor Zymm

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ESPN ManningCast Devolves Into Deeply Uncomfortable Argument About About Putting Father In Nursing Home https://t.co/fj4psxdX7F pic.twitter.com/Cql9drdqTD

— The Onion (@TheOnion) November 16, 2021

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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“Salute To Service” is the dumbest fucking travesty that has ever happened in ever. #provemewrong
scotchnaut

I can’t help but think of the Salute to Fireworks from 30 Rock.
montythisseemsstrangetome

JPP is triggered by this post
LemonJello

I post this every year, because it will never not be funny:

Sharkbait

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May OBJ not see the field tonight.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

…and then demand a trade in the postgame news conference for not being used enough.
Redshirt

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Thinking that there won’t be too much diving in the footy game as no one wants to roll around on frozen ground
Game Time Decision

That pitch surface gotta be somewhere between a sidewalk and the old Veterans Stadium
Don T

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Every year I’m vested in the Bears being good ‘cause the NFL force feeds the team into prime time whether they’re terrible or mediocre.
(See also, all the fucken Jersey teams.)
Worth repeating:

Don T

I bet the McFlurry machine is always broken at that franchise. Unlike KC.
LemonJello

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This French Chef episode is a good refresher on carving a turkey. I need the course since I do this shit once per year.

Also Julia threw some shade on people that like fake butter. So that was funny
Sharkbait

FRENCH chef? No wonder my stuff turns out weird.

SonOfSpam

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When I eventually need reading glasses, I am going to get a stylish reading monocle
Doktor Zymm

Doc Zymm (artist’s rendering)
WCS

I go with the more formal stock tie rather than the floppy cravat, and I have some feathers and beading on my top hat and jacket, but otherwise accurate!
Doktor Zymm

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The NFL has been so bad this season. I may skip tomorrow[TNF].

LemonJello

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As much as I love Red October’s version, I still think Rocky IV’s rendition of the Soviet National Anthem is the better one. It came off more noble and patriotic.
Redshirt

I still can’t figure out why the Captain of the Russian sub is Scottish
Doktor Zymm

Imagine you are the director. You need to go to SIR SEAN CONNERY and tell him he needs to do a Russian accent. He then reaches elbow deep into your mouth and pulls your rectum out and shows it to you. Is that a fair trade?

When Sean Connery walk up to the dock and asks to command your prototype nuclear submarine, who is the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics to say “нет.”
Actually, they did kind of explain that he is Lithuanian by birth, so that’s could be why his accent is off. Also, their creative version of having them go from speaking Russian to English could handwave the accent.
Redshirt

I’ve spent quite a lot of time in Vilnius. They have the best fried bread of anywhere, but they do not sound even slightly Scottish. He would have to be a defector, or it would have to be an alternate universe where Scots invaded the Baltic states at some point.
Doktor Zymm

Point of Divergence: Near the end of WWII, the bulk of the Soviet Army is in Germany. FDR and Churchill, sensing weakness, ask some Scottsmen in kilts and bagpipes to go to Russia to weaken the USSR so they won’t be in a position to bully USA and UK when the war ends. The plan goes horribly right when the Scottish actually overthrows the Communists and takes over as the USSR, the Union of Soviet Scottish Republics.
Redshirt

I would read this series of novels.
Doktor Zymm

“Tartan Dawn” by Redshirt
Redshirt

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oldmanrant

The number of quarterbacks qualified to play in the NFL has remained unchanged since the merger. Only the number of teams has increased.

/oldmanrant

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If the Pat’s would just change coaches I could be convinced to like them.
2Pack

Turns out I don’t hate Belicheat as much as I thought, I’m actually okay with the Pats doing well because
a) If DarthHoodie sets a high standard for what a coach can make of a team, it means we can legit blame other coaches for sucking and they can’t just use the excuse that coaches can only do so much
b) The whole narrative last year where it was all “Lookit Brady doin’ it without Belichick” annoyed the fuck out of me, and if, Glod Forbid, we end up with a narrative Bowl where it’s B v. B in the big game, I think I’m on the side of The Guy That Fucked Everyone’s Mom
Doktor Zymm

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How do the Falcons even have 4 wins? I’d take the 0-8-1 Lions over this team.
montythisseemsstrangetome

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I’m not a lip reader but I’m pretty certain Matt Ryan just said the words “keep”, “screwing” and “Brocky” to his offense on the sidelines.
Redshirt

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Oh, I hate so many things.
montythisseemsstrangetome

It would be much easier to list the things I don’t hate.

/except I hate making lists
King Hippo

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litre_cola

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Admin
November 18, 2021 8:13 pm
Cmon Falcons! Don’t make me resort to reading tonight please.
Don T

“Spoiler Alert: Some of the fish will be red, others will be blue.”

-Doctor Seuss
scotchnaut

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I thought you guys might like to see how cute we were in 1982

Gumbygirl

39 years later

Gumbygirl

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Last night during zoom poker we were talking about second-person novels and the only prominent one I could think of was Bright Lights, Big City. Anybody got anything else of note?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yes! I read a good one translated from Chinese back in September, “A Single Swallow”
Doktor Zymm

This book title is misleading.

–Peter North
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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LoL who did this

rockingdog

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The Spartans might be in trouble.
Mr. Ayo

-Announcers, commenting at Thermopylae on the 6th day
scotchnaut

If Mike McCarthy had been leading the Persians he would have sat on the archers and just kept charging at the Spartans.
Horatio Cornblower

If it was John Harbaugh, he would’ve spent the first day arguing with the Oracles about the Spartans use of the Phalanx.
Redshirt

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Don T

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I look forward to the Playoff Committee explaining why they kept Oregon above Cincinnati on Tuesday.
Redshirt

It’s gonna be:
1) Georgia
2) Alabama
3) Ohio St.
4) Notre Dame
5) Cincinnati
6) Ain’t Gonna Make It State
7) Not a Fuckin’ Chance U
8) We Look The Other Way At Sexual Assault College
9) The University of Why Are We Even Ranking 9 Teams
10) Michigan
Anthony In TX

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RGIII is so animated calling Auburn v S. Carolina that I’m afraid he will blow out a knee in the booth
LemonJello

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With Thanksgiving 5 days away guess it’s time to get preppin’. I started today by making a chicken stock for the gravy. Son in law smokes the turkey and you ain’t gonna get stock from that. I used legs and thighs which will make a lovely chicken salad for tomorrow.

The aroma of simmering stock with fresh rosemary, tarragon, sage and thyme was delightful.
yeah right

I’m coming to your house.
Anthony In TX

You Sir, are most definitely welcome.
yeah right

He says that but try turning up at 3 a.m. on a Tuesday and all of a sudden you’re the jerk who doesn’t respect boundaries.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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