Another week is upon us, the eighth in fact. T’was once the half way part of the season but now we have to wait one more week for the sports pontificators to tell us what we already know about how the season is shaping up. Biggest Surprises: Football is back in New York! No way, smart guy!
Newsy Notes:
-Don’t Let The Door Hit Your Hamstring on the Way Out: Kadarius Toney is gone to the Chiefs for a 3rd and a 6th. Shoen and Daboll said all the right things about the young man but it became clear that The Gettlebust needed to be somewhere else. He played in 12 of 24 games and just didn’t seem to fit in.
-Ja’Marr Chase is out 4-6 weeks with a hip thingy according to Schefter. For the sake of a money league team, I hope he’s a fast healer.
-Some names that have been mentioned as possibly being traded include Elijah Moore, (because he asked to be) Cam Akers (fallen out of favor) and Mike Gesicki. (a poor fit in McDaniels’ O)
To The Game!
Ravens/Bucs:
-Can Tommy spin around on five days notice and go nuts on the Ravens after that atrocious clunker vs the Panthers? I say no but I was so dreadfully wrong about the Bears/Pats game this past Monday so what do I know? Nothing!
-Brady boy has never played on a team that has been sub .500 after eight games so I think it’s about time he experienced it.
-Gus The Bus (I thought that nomenclature was specific to running backs out of Detroit?) finally got back last week, ran for 66 and is back to being banged up. No idea if he’s playing tonight.
-Condolences to those that drafted Horny Forny-the Bucs have only one game where they’ve rushed for 100+ yards and that was all the way back on week uno.
-They have but one TD in their last 22 possessions.
-Mark Andrews didn’t practice all week which is unfortunate because 3/4’s of Tampa’s secondary won’t be suiting up.
Enjoy.
MRSA dreamboat loss and a discussion of pegging. The DFO Promise delivered tonight
Down by the harbor near Long Beach (I think this is actually Wilmington).
This shot isn’t really manipulated much beyond cropping, it’s just stopped down a bit.
Some inspiration from W. Eugene Smith’s Pittsburgh photos is definitely here.
Same day, same place. Same clouds even:
I call bullshit. It’s obvious that you photoshopped Jim Tomsula out of it.
you got me there
I picture him, out in a box car, giving lessons to other hobos about the best places to get leftover turkey during this holiday season and how the thorns on a rose bush can be used to both floss and pop the boils.
They were actually giving each other hand jobs. The ‘hobo handshake” they call it. I’m trying to sell this photo to Westways magazine so I had to get rid of that shit.
That reminds me, I forgot to tell AAA I moved. I have not received a Westways since February or so. I like to find the hidden little red California before Gumby, it makes me feel smrt.
Missed the game because I have a bad man cold and slept through it. I need to write my will because I feel like death. I tried to explain to Mrs. Zilla that a man cold is like giving birth. She didn’t get it
You should have told her to get over herself and make you some soup. I’m 100 percent positive she would have understood your misery and have done all she can until you feel better.
Yeah, that should work.
Q: Which is worse, giving birth or getting kicked in the balls?
A: No one ever says they want to get kicked in the balls again.
Hippo kept the TV off, Wolven Sort made improbable comeback from 3-21, and MRSA Dreamboat has a sad.
God, I will accept the tradeoff.
Congrats, sometimes God is a merciful God.
I like this Likely kid. His postgame talk with the field reporter was pleasantly endearing.
Most of these white women look the same to me. You could have said this host is Erin Andrews and I wouldn’t fucking know.
Pay the man, now!
YES!
Putin has made spy genre movies and 007 oh so relevant again!
He’ll never be as cool as these spies.
I have a prized Boris t shirt
Tawmmy has a sad. That’s a damn shame.
He really looks like he’s phoning it in.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdNI0_cx22s
Foggy night by the beach in Playa del Rey
It’s 50/50 that Brady retires after this game.
You fuckers don’t DESERVE MY GRATENESS
I hope he does, that would be hilarious. He’d be like Cartman. “Screw you guys, I’m going home!”
Except he doesn’t have a home. Hahahahahahahahahahaha[deep breath]hahahahahahahaha!
“I have to go now. My planet needs me.”
I’d be fine with sending him to the fireworks factory too.
You spelled glue factory wrong.
He Otten have caught that
/Shows self out
But you just got here
(exactly)
That’s a 1943 Kodak Aero Ektar 7′ f/2.8 reconnaissance lens mounted on a 1951 Speedgraphic Pacemaker 4×5″ view camera, photographed with an iPhone.
New rule: Justin Tucker must kick field goals under 50 yards with his non-dominate foot. If that doesn’t work, we’ll try a blindfold.
Gisele must be one bitchy wife in order for Brady to give up his marriage for this.
BLEERGH used BAILOUT FLAG. It’s SUPER EFFECTIVE!
You know, say what you want about the repetitiveness of DFO’s Andy Reid jokes, but they beat the hell out of “Andy Reid draws mustaches on players” that State Farm came up with.
Caption Contest:
AND GO!
Hey, Cytherea crossed over to horror films!
EDIT: (Search Results will be NSFW.)
Red Barf – Return of the Wolverines
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyeqzzThz8w
Ooh, Recovery Water comes in fruit punch flavor now!
“You have never heard of it? Wild! When you are done watching 2 Girls 1 Cup, let me know.”
Dammit honey, I already apologized for not picking up tampons!
So it turns out Elon Musk actually *did* close the deal for Russell Wilson wait no I mean Twitter.
Time to delete twitter then.
I’d go to Truth Social, but I’m afraid Der Furher will dox me within a day.
I’m probably going to, but I would miss the Crouton the cow stuff.
Most Likely to succeed!
Its my Friday WOOOOO
May your day be as sexy as my day will be tomorrow.
A cool gif, but I always found the original texas chainsaw massacre to be overrated. Maybe I was too desensitized by the time I saw it, but I didnt find it nearly as violent and gory as its title would suggest, the wheel chaired character insufferable, and the first half unforgivably slow. Somehow the idea of a masked killer with a high bodycount got retconned onto leatherface when it was his contemporaries Michael and Jason who made it fashionable
Late to the comment party but here we go:
I think a lot of the… love? not the right word, but lets go with it… for this movie has to do with how old you were when you saw it, coupled with your local urban legends. I saw this at a way too young age, like 5th grade maybe, 9 or 10 years old, while growing up in Texas, at a slumber party whose parents strictly forbid us from watching it that night.
Pair that with the local urban legend of a house, maybe abandoned back then, that was a bit outside of our suburbs in a more rural area. We all grew up with THAT was the house the actual chainsaw murders happened at. Everyone knew where that house was, as our parents had at least driven us by it on the way to places.
That movie fucked us kids up.
It took another 10 years or so before watching it again during college, and of course by then I had learned about Ed Gein and what characters had been inspired by him. Movie lost its magic.
I feel like I’m spending a lot more time fixing things than I used to have to. This week I finally received the contacts for my left eye that for some reason weren’t packed and shipped when they sent the ones for my right eye, and I got an unexpected email from LOT that they’ll be refunding part of my ticket from the DOT complaint I filed about them not honoring their change policy, so that’s 2 things fixed. However, I also had to pay FedEx for the customs fees that never should have happened, and I received an email this afternoon with a postdated payment due date for over $2k that they suddenly decided I owe them, so that’s 1 thing I wasn’t able to fix, and another that I now have to waste a bunch of time fixing.
Charissa bringing the bare shoulders for Hippo
And I am watching my JV side get pegged by goddamned VPI, like a chump.
I mean, if you’re into pegging, we’re not going to judge.
Whom among us?
I mean, I’ll judge. Is it a standard 0 to 10 scale or something exotic like that 0 to 6 figure skating scoring system.
Technical AND Artistic scores
I assume there’s some kind of “degree of difficulty”? I’ll need a cheat sheet.
So you do or don’t enjoy pegging?
judges Dunstan and Revanchist in WASP
how does getting pegged like a chump differ from getting pegged like a champ?
OR like a CHIMP? That’s some Dark Web stuff, though.
chimp love = purity of essence
The level of Mario that involves getting pegged like a chain-chomp was never released
Ignoring safe word
Yeahhhhhhh!
Ooh! An appearance by BLAPPPPTTT; they are more shy than most of the other deities.
Is there a deity for blocked kicks? Does that fall within BLEARGH’s portfolio?
See above.
Started my booze league 0-3. Pretty much every week is a must win with half my team on a bye Week 14. Andrews picked a bad time to start losing limbs.
Yep. TB -2.5. Made no sense. They told you who to bet. I’ll never learn.
LeBron: So do I get a free iPhone?
Lily from AT&T: No, you’re 0-4, fuck off.
Do you think there’s some white kid in Miami or Cleveland named LeBron?
If there is, I hope their last name is “Ashmoreton” or some such.
“Bronze medalists get Androids, motherfucker”
I, uh am starting to think Lamar! isn’t that good anymore.
He is serving the MRSA narrative nicely.
He is the quiet quitting poster child, much respect
This is an excellent point. I wonder if he’s considering getting back into politics, or maybe one of those sweet lobbying gigs.
*Checks Freezer Vodka League*
I guess I’m starting Brady by default. Oh well, at least I got laundry done today, that was probably a better use of my time than contemplating which QB is going to be more shite this week.
You are playing me and I am horrendoUs.
This season is super random though, anyone can have a great or crap week at any time
So I was looking for a gif from the movie pumpkinhead and I found this
Finally, a head injury video that doesn’t make me cringe!
“I don’t remember filming this.” – Tua Tagavailoa
“Yeah. we were both there”
-T. Green, pointing at Burkina Faso on a map that he drew of Central Park
That vid is my pitch for “Becoming Trent Green”, coming to Cannes in 2027.
I was just opening this bottle of wine, and I realized that a drawing of a wine bottle with the caption “curses, foiled again” is about the right level of unfunny for a New Yorker cartoon
Oh that’s a corker!
How droll [half exclamation point]
I’ve been a student and collector of single-panel cartoons since I was a kid. the New Yorker used to be the gold standard, and you can look at their archive collections and they’re still great. In the 21st century the quality just dropped to zero. It’s like there’s no new cartoonists, none worth a shit anyway.
Now just have to see out the clean sheet in West Raleigh.
get the spike play ready
Oh no…I missed the first however many minutes of this game…woe is me
Woo hoo! Back online in time to see…two incompletions and a field goal. Great.
I watched that guy in Dale and Tucker vs Evil. It was adequate.
I liked him in that.
I know it’s not Friday but…..
Reminds me of that famous tune by Bowie-
“Blue Gloves, I just met a girl named Blue Gloves.”
Those floor-scrubbing blue rubber gloves make me harder than Chinese arithmetic!
My Amazon fire stick is updating and it’s like that scene from Office Space. It’s already been ten minutes and it’s telling me it’ll be ten minutes more.
Hey, Rikki. What’s happening.
dances in Re-run
Still waitin’. Not baitin’ (yet).
Almost done…
No Thursday night football for me. My FIL is in the ICU with heart failure, Gumby and I are at the hospital so his poor sister gets a break. She had to call the paramedics at 3 this morning, she’s exhausted. We would have come earlier, but Gumby had a doctor’s appt. this afternoon. Hopefully I can use my phone up there, we’ll see. I have a bookybook if I can’t.
That’s smart plannin’
Aw crap.
I may be headed to the hospital soon myself, to visit my old boss who had a stroke.
Please don’t be like Ronna and make fun of stroke victims.
She’s ugly inside and out.
Prayers up for Gumbo!
(Gumbo was the the name of Gumby’s dad on the show.)
Thanks, he’s a tough old bird. He is not happy about being here, he’s pretty pissed off he can’t get up.
Hugs
All the best to you and Gumby.
Do you think Russel Wilson can give Ja’Marr Chase a wolverine blood transfusion? My fantasy team really needs Chase back.
Putting my monkey where my mouth was-starting Miles Davis this week on Herbert’s bye.
I am starting Red Rocket, God help me. Even in the League w/o bye week issues.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgRcCyey1hM
That’s pretty pee-your-pants cool, if you ask me.
Start or sit Gus Edwards?
Sit if your alternative is within reason. Balky knee and no catchy passes = low floor.
I’ve got Cook & Chubb, but I was thinking in my flex where I currently have WR Gabe Davis of the Bills (vs. GB)
I’d rather the Gabe
These are why I ask. Thanks.
Is nice to feel useful!
Green Bays Defense sucks. SoUrry.
Congratulations on tonight’s “under” JV bettors.
Hopefully my Shitty Wolves will be 50% less shitty tonight.
Wolven Sort can prison-shank VT tonight, please and thanks
A Beamer GIF is not out of the realm of possibility. These will be Stone Age offenses.
Obviously Tampa will smoke the shit out of the Ravens tonight since nothing in this league makes any goddamn sense and nothing that has happened in past weeks means a thing.
Also I read somewhere that LAMAR! is so pissed about not getting a new contract, he’s being uncharacteristically silent in team meetings and video sessions. Which it’s always a good sign when your franchise player quiet quits by Week 8.
The entire AFC North became the NFC West so gradually, I hardly noticed.
That’s what I bet on.
Bucs +1.5- Over 46.5.
Duvernay TD – Lamar 2+ TD’s
Does anyone have a hip I can borrow for about a month?
Redshirt has a bad case of the Hippy, Hippy Shakes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=130VWxqJ6ps&ab_channel=JoakimFrankErnst
(reaches for chloroform soaked rag and Swiss Pocket Knife)
Say Scotchy… That a nice donatable hip you have there
Brick you should be proud of yourself, you did some absolutely fantastic work on this film here:
https://mobile.twitter.com/miniondeathcult/status/1585647866386993152