Wall of Nothingness Saturday Lesser Footy Thread

Thanks the Good Lord we shall have JV exhibitions and flexed NFL goodness next Saturday.  But this weekend?  WE SUFFER.

My brain also hurts, so this will be brief.

Yesterday was pretty great early, with noted sister-fucker Neymar putting the Boiz from Brasil on the board in Extra Time.  But alas, they forgot to defend, conceding a late equalizer and death by pennos.  I am sure Brasil will React Reasonably.  Very, very reasonably.  Ustase are through to the Final Four, where they will play the boring, Narrative-laden Argentines (who sucked out on pennos after blowing 2-nil lead to the Atomic Dustbinz).  Just fucking go away, Messi.  Your cult has no quarter here.

That leaves two MOAR Lesser Flacco Eight contests, Portugal (de Narrativo) against plucky Morocco at 10a EST, followed by the (hopefully) delightful Englen/France war at 2p.  I will have it on mute while doing billable work.  France is going to win it all, FWIW.  Mbappe is just a level above everyone else.  Maybe two.

There’s also Army/Navy at 3p on CBS, with neither service making a bowl.  Who knows, the game could still be good.  It’s random that way.

I will close with a Lesser 2026 proposal.  Since FIFA is too much of a cuck to get on board with my Shithole Countries World Cup, they plan to expand to 48.  Thankfully, the initial idea of 16 groups of 3 (and a 32-team knockout phase) is being re-considered.  That would be awful for TV and for the competition.

Let’s start with the foundation – twelve 4-team groups.  Non-negotiable.  But how do you handle the knockout structure?

Why not be random as fuck?  Eight teams get byes to the Round of Sixteen.  Let’s say you only get a “clear pass” if you get 9 points from the Group Stage (I will hear arguments for 7).  If there are fewer than 8 such sides (as will be the case) 0 you draw for it.  Leaving heavy incentive to play for a win all the way through.  The unlucky crew of 4 go to the play-in round, along with the 12 2nd-place sides.  Random draw for the matchups, except you can’t play someone from your own group.  The Sweet Sixteen is done completely by random draw.

It’s not perfect, but I think it’s better than any alternatives I’ve heard.  Thoughts?  Other ideas?

5 2 votes
Article Rating
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
Subscribe
Notify of
202 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
ballsofsteelandfury

What’s up with the Army helmets? Are they acknowledging they’re toxic?

SonOfSpam

That’s kinda mean and I love it

https://twitter.com/Ryanair/status/1601683571986825216

Horatio Cornblower

So the English are going to issue horrible insults and threats to Harry Kane like they did to Saka, right? And if not, why do you suppose that is?

Horatio Cornblower

Beyond the pail!

Gumbygirl

🎶Mes allons enfants de la patria🎵🍾🎆👍

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

Senor Weaselo

Btw, shade from ESPN of all things on the Kane miss:

698F177A-EE36-4082-BE42-C56298AF3A27.jpeg
Mr. Ayo

They’re coming home*!

* Empty handed of course

Last edited 1 year ago by Mr. Ayo
ballsofsteelandfury

Once again

Horatio Cornblower

They sure are optimistic for a team that’s won the Cup one more time than the US has.

scotchnaut

“Kane totally Baggio’d that penalty kick.”

-Italian announcers

Mr. Ayo

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

scotchnaut

That’s going to be his legacy. That’s all kinds of wonderful.

Mr. Ayo

We all love a Harry Kane joke around here!

scotchnaut

HARRY KANE, YOU MARVELOUS CHOKING SON OF A BITCH!!!

Doktor Zymm

On that note, I’m off to drink champagne and answer trivia questions

Mr. Ayo

deux!

Doktor Zymm

LE RIBBIT!!

Doktor Zymm

Viva la Froggies! Let’s go winos, let’s go! (down to the cafe for a croissant and a petit blanc)

herodotus450

Can you believe this game* is tied at 1-1?!?
*talking of course about Detroit at Dallas, battle of the D’s

scotchnaut

God, I love Double D’s so much!

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

Mr. Ayo

peine!

Mr. Ayo

Just moments after Jeremy Clarkson complained about the ref. Odd.
https://twitter.com/JeremyClarkson/status/1601670610140434432

Doktor Zymm

I would hope that even FIFA knows better than to listen to Clarkson

Mr. Ayo

Eh, he has money.

Senor Weaselo

“Kick with more powerrrrr!” -Clarkson

Mr. Ayo

This guy gets it.

TheRevanchist

Love it in the box.

Mr. Ayo

How’s your Hugo Lloris now?

ArmedandHammered

How can you find the box if you can’t find Hugo Lloris?

Mr. Ayo

OMG, a Grant Wahl acknowledgement by FOX. Horatio, you can stop holding your breath!

scotchnaut

Yeah, they do that sorta crap now and then so that they can say they’re ‘fair and balanced’.

Horatio Cornblower

(is dead from oxygen deprivation)
-Horatio

TheRevanchist

That dude that fouled Kane was so far up Kane’s ass , I think he may have penetrated him a little.

scotchnaut

“At the very least he rubbed the perineum, which I highly recommend, btw…”

-BallsofSomethingorOther

ballsofsteelandfury

I actually do!

Perineum massage stimulates the prostate which ensures it doesn’t enlarge and cause health issues!

Gumbygirl

Jeebus don’t care ’bout your taint!

Horatio Cornblower

Am I hearing things, or is the play-by-play guy pronouncing ‘Arab’ as ‘Airab’?

Gumbygirl

There’s a town in Alabama that’s pronounced that way, shocking!

scotchnaut

My favorite girl band and the best player on the Frenchy squad are the same thing, when you think about it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aXVxPyPK9A&ab_channel=BadBoyEdd

2Pack

She’s in for a wild game from the looks of it so far.

4b5c49cc0a3689ae31ae19c9cb38a4ab.jpg
Mr. Ayo

Ask and she shall receive

scotchnaut

I’d play Uno with her, if you know what I mean.

scotchnaut

I’m gonna try to draw as many +1 cards as I possibly can before the final round. It’s the right thing to do.

TheRevanchist

English tears probably taste like beans and toast. France already got a taste of that shit.

Mr. Ayo

ça rentre à la maison!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[redacted]

Last edited 1 year ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’ll teach you to be so damned boring, Limeys.

Mr. Ayo

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

Gumbygirl

I was turrible at this game. So many squished frogs, it was an amphibian holocaust!

scotchnaut

“You mean ‘a blessing’?”

-Les Francoise