3 Things – Because There Always Has to Be 3 Things

STORNG TAEK!!1!

montythisseemsstrangetome - October 27, 2015October 26, 2015

1.) Pharmacies are stapler-happy. Why must they always staple my receipt to the bag? Don't they know I need that shit for my taxes? "Hey Monty, IRS Auditor here, you got a receipt for this $13.27 prescription you paid for out of your Health Savings Account? No? Okay, that's an

Nobody Cares About My Fantasy Team

Fantasy Football

montythisseemsstrangetome - October 1, 2015October 1, 2015

We don't care about Horatio's fantasy teams so much that we don't even care about not caring about them anymore. Even Horatio doesn't care. So this week we turn to not caring about MY fantasy team. And there's a lot to not care about here. We are not caring so

Ask Someone Who Just Watched Their First Football Game

Insane Shit

montythisseemsstrangetome - September 25, 2015September 25, 2015

Dear Someone Who Just Watched Their First Football Game, What do you think of the Jets’ surprising 2-0 start? Can Ryan Fitzpatrick lead this team to a playoff-type season? SWJWTFFG: I heard the announcers mention that he went to Harvard, so I bet he’s smarter than the other quarterbacks. Does that guy’s

DFO Request Line: Do Your Worst

DFO radio

montythisseemsstrangetome - September 4, 2015August 31, 2015

120

I was in the car the other day and the 1990 pop classic "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips came on the radio. As I was nostalgically transported back to a more innocent time in my life, I became aware that this is probably the worst, most god-awful song of all

The Kansas City Chiefs Preview – What Memes May Come

Team Previews

montythisseemsstrangetome - September 1, 2015August 31, 2015

The Andy Reid-era Chiefs began 9-0, and since then they have gone 11-13, including playoffs. That there is a Peter King-level contrived statistical nugget. What's worse, they haven't won a regular season game in nearly 8 months. What have they been doing all this time? For comparison purposes, the next-door

Bye Bye, Kissing Suzy Kolber

montythisseemsstrangetome - August 1, 2015August 1, 2015

A long, long time ago I can still remember how those dick jokes used to make me smile And I knew if I created an account That I could make those komments count And maybe make the Komments of the Week But first Big Daddy Drew went packing When Matt left, the mailbag's lacking Sexy Friday has

WARNING: You’ll Be Humming This Tune The Rest Of The Day

NotKontent

montythisseemsstrangetome - July 24, 2015

Once there was this guy who Got into an accident on the 4th of July And when it finally came out His finger had had become totally detached He said that it was from when The fireworks blew up. [Andy Reid eating ribs]: Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm, Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Once there was this girl who Interviewed a

Potty Mouth

NotKontent

montythisseemsstrangetome - June 19, 2015

I'm a fan of the Freakonomics podcast and they recently had one about public restrooms. The main question was, Why isn't there music playing in all public restrooms? If ever there were a venue that screamed out for some kind of masking noise, this is it. I don't like hearing

Time to Get Serious

Reflections

montythisseemsstrangetome - June 15, 2015

I don't want to get too heavy here, but if a guy had some thoughts on God, church, and the afterlife that he wanted to share, this seems like it would be a good forum for 'em. There won't be any dick jokes, so if you want to skip this

Is The Glass Half Full Or Half Empty?

OH WE GON DRANK

montythisseemsstrangetome - June 9, 2015

Here's the thing about the glass half full/half empty argument. It's not even half full. It's like, maybe a quarter, tops. Look at it! Look at that glass! Shit, did someone drink out of my glass? I swear it was half full before. Goddammit, who drank out of my glass?!!