One Year On: An Interview With Christmas Ape

The Maestro - July 31, 2016July 30, 2016

Hard to believe it's been exactly 365 days since the mothership went down for good. Like so many of you on that fateful day one year ago, I felt confused, angry, and pretty lost; I was very grateful for the crew here at [Door Flies Open] to welcome so many people

CFL Beat: Week 6

The Maestro - July 28, 2016July 27, 2016

People are angry! Republicans! Democrats! Politicians in general! Anger is no stranger to the CFL either, with multiple teams' fanbases currently experiencing the anguish of injured and/or shitty quarterbacks. It was a rough, rough week for injuries across the league. Who's still alive and healthy to play? Who's not quite?

CFL Beat: Week 5

The Maestro - July 21, 2016July 20, 2016

Sports are nowhere near as much of a shitshow as the Republican National Convention is this week. Thank you, Cleveland, for containing almost all of the backwards dipshittery of this continent to a few square miles on the banks of the Cuyahoga. On that note, I still feel like the

CFL Beat: Week 4

The Maestro - July 13, 2016July 14, 2016

Thank you, scheduling dicks of the CFL, for spreading out games over four days this week instead of giving me the doubleheaders I so desperately crave. When a game ends at like 9 or 9:30 EST, what the fuck are you supposed to do? Get drunk to SportsCentre? Absolutely not.

CFL Beat: Week 3

The Maestro - July 7, 2016July 5, 2016

I have tickets to the REDBLACKS home opener this Friday, and I have to say that I really, really miss live football. It's gonna be really nice to get back in the swing of things so that I can be practised up properly for the fall. Anyways, enough yammering! WEEK 2

CFL Beat: Week 2

The Maestro - June 29, 2016June 28, 2016

It's a strange week for football scheduling up here, as Friday marks Canada Day and the start of a long weekend; all games for Week 2 are scheduled for Thursday and Friday, necessitating a need to push up this week's roundup! Honestly, it's probably just as well, as I'll be

CFL Beat: Week 1

The Maestro - June 24, 2016June 24, 2016

It's here! It's here! It's finally here! Professional football! Yes, it's not the NFL but I am rejoicing all the same that I finally have something to tide me over until September arrives. Once again, I'll be recapping the games from previous weeks, and previewing the current week's coming games

Your “Good God, It’s Too Hot For This Crap” Saturday Evening Open Thread

Open Threads

The Maestro - June 18, 2016

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I am very drunk. Lady Maestro is away and it's currently 90 degrees in town here, which is extremely unusual for this part of the world. I'd been planning on seeing a baseball game tonight (the Cuban national team is playing our local AA squad) but I just can't deal

CFL Beat: West Division Preview

The Maestro - June 17, 2016June 17, 2016

The CFL pre-season continues on here until June 23rd; last week's CFL Beat saw the East Division teams previewed here - this week is a preview of the five teams that make up the West Division of the CFL - Winnipeg, Saskatchewan, Calgary, Edmonton, and B.C. Winnipeg Blue Bombers Founded: 1930 Home Stadium: Investors Group

CFL Beat: East Division Preview

The Maestro - June 10, 2016June 10, 2016

The CFL pre-season continues on here until June 23rd; after last week's intro to the league and the format of how everything runs, it's time to get you acquainted with key locations, names and faces for the coming weeks ahead! We start our league preview with the four teams from

CFL Beat: Welcome to Canada!

The Maestro - June 3, 2016May 30, 2016

Folks, football season draws near. While September still looms three months into the future, at the end of June, north of the 49th parallel, the Canadian Football League season kicks off in just a few short weeks. While the CFL now plays second fiddle to its American counterpart, its continued

Euro 2016 Preview – England

The Maestro - June 2, 2016June 2, 2016

If there's one thing that English football fans know, it's disappointment. The 2014 World Cup was one of the worst outings ever for the national team; a single point in a scoreless draw to Costa Rica and losses to Italy and Uruguay. It was bad. Very, very bad. Frank Lampard and Steven