Your “That’s a Face Only a Mother Could Love” NFC Playoff Open Thread

scotchnaut - January 12, 2019January 12, 2019

896

Check out the smashed-into-the-windshield-several-times visage of Blake Jarwin. The toothfull grin that indicates that the keys shaken by the photographer please him. The too-small, beady eyes that have no doubt silently observed more than one grandmother undressing at bedtime. The throat devoid of an Adam's Apple. The sloughing forehead that

Your “Playing in a Winter Wonderland” AFC Playoff Game Open Thread

scotchnaut - January 12, 2019January 12, 2019

577

They (people) are saying as of the morning time that the snow's a'falling and will taper off during the afternoon. WHO WILL THIS FAVOR? HOW? WHY? I MUST KNOW! WILL THERE BE SLUSH? WILL SOMEONE THAT DOES'NT USUALLY WEAR GLOVES BE WEARING GLOVES? Sorry for the rampant capitalization folks-I was just

Your Afternoon-ish NFC Wild Card Game Open Thread

scotchnaut - January 6, 2019January 6, 2019

928

I finish this intro off with 6 minutes left in the Bolts/Dead Birds game. Please Football Deity, let your glorious light shine through in this tilt in the form of touchdowns, great catches, good execution on both sides of the ball, clever play-calling and solid defense. We have been dutiful

Your AFC Wild Card Game Part Deux Open Thread

scotchnaut - January 6, 2019January 6, 2019

589

First things first-we'll have a look at some of the fallout (or falldown in Allen Hurns' case) from yesterday's action. According to a certain Mr. Schefter, Hurns has already had surgery on his un-located ankle, which is now relocated. Older white residents at the hospital are worried that Mr. Hurns' presence

Your “Game Sponsored by Hatey McHaterson” Saturday Night NFL Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - January 5, 2019January 5, 2019

1128

I hate the Cowboys. I have for quite some time. Let's go back to the days before home computers, cell phones and social media. The written word was just beginning to take hold despite what the naysayers were nay saying. A rock applied to the head with varying degrees of force

Your “Let’s Do Some Playoffs” Saturday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - January 5, 2019January 5, 2019

442

Dearest Elizabeth, I hope this letter finds you well. I hope that Dolly successfully calved by now. Please give all my love to Bathsheba, Caleb, Horace, Moses, Ruth, Levi, Ambrose, Solomon, Rowland, Little Anna, Hester, Esther, Fester and Mary. Excuse me for saying so but my beard becomes dewy when recalling that

Your [stretches arms out] “Ahhh! First Day of the Year” New Year’s Day Night Open Post

scotchnaut - January 1, 2019January 1, 2019

Most under-rated day-drinking day of the season must be today. If you're not an amateur that's waking up in a strange place with your 'good clothes' still on then this is the day. Did you have a Bloody Caesar/Mary with your bacon and eggs? Did you follow it up (as

Your Very Last Regular Season Game and Corresponding Open Thread

scotchnaut - December 30, 2018December 30, 2018

307

I love rail yards. Always have. I grew up near one and as a kid and I was fascinated by all the trains coming and going north, west, east and south-bringing, well, pretty much anything where it was needed. When my work offered me an opportunity to head to Omaha

Your “Yeah, I’ll Have a Second Helping” Sunday Afternoon Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - December 30, 2018December 30, 2018

319

Food and football go together like water off a duck's back, right? Let's go back, Jack and do it again. Chargers/Broncos: When I was but a wee lad me parents broke up and the mother raised two of us on a bank teller's salary and it didn't go well. So this item

Your “Shall I Compare These Games To A Summer’s Day?” Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - December 30, 2018

353

Naw, I don't think so-it's already been done by Shakey The Sphere and that was some time ago. Let's compare each of these games (many of which are...hold onto your barnacles...completely irrelevant!) to say, an offering at a buffet-style restaurant or a meal/snack I enjoyed as a child. What's that? Did

Your Xmas Eve/Monday Night Football Combo Thread

scotchnaut - December 24, 2018

304

Whine/Rant Alert: Okay, there's a bunch of sports-hungry folks that have the day off today. Imagine them (me) sitting down in front of the tube, ready to drink in the puck/football/curling stone/basketball/shuttlecock/sheep's head/Quaffle and Thunderball action with their oh-so thirsty eyes and there's...nothing. Hey NBA, college football, college basketball, NHL, EPL,

Your Sunday Night NFL Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - December 23, 2018December 23, 2018

139

The thing that they never talk about when they talk about the homeless from what I can remember, is the boredom. When you're not begging in one spot you're looking for another and time slows to a crawl. If you get lucky and somebody throws a ten bill at you,