As long winded and detailed as the Sunday Gravy posts are I wanted to let you know that I thoroughly enjoy putting them together for you. If it hasn’t come across by now, I really love cooking. So much so that in rare cases it’s at a detriment for me to do so. I’ve been upfront and open about my current knee issues – new post to come sometime next week – but I refused to take a week off from Sunday Gravy. I fucking refuse to short you fine people from my confused and vulgar ramblings! But I did try and make it as easy as possible on myself.
With an assist from my brother Dj Taj who did the sides all I had to do this week was fire up the grill, make a quick brine and a rub, grab a beer and prop my damn feet up. I am quite qualified to do all of these things. Yes I was icing the knee at the time.
Let’s talk about grilling.
If you’ve been a Sunday Gravy reader for any length of time then you know how much I love to grill. I ain’t gonna link to every grilling post because that might cause a server meltdown and I don’t want to trouble DTZM over the weekend. I will link to this one because it contains a recipe for what we will be cooking today, Cumin Rubbed Pork Chops! I don’t feel bad about doubling down on the recipe since when I created that post I didn’t actually cook this recipe, it was thrown into a recipekakke of multiple pork chop ideas. It is the primary focus today. Told you I was going to be a lazy bastard today!
Let me overwhelm you with a fact, I’ve been grilling for over 40 years. Yes 40. And I’m not talking about flipping a burger or cooking some dogs, I’m talking about starting the fire, prepping the food items, manning the grill and bringing it to the table. My parents both loved to grill so it was only natural that I came down with this obsession. I’m certain most of you know the difference between grilling and barbecuing so I won’t be getting into that. We’re just talking about grilling today. As you can see by the photo just above I have a balcony to grill on and it would be pretty goddamn rude of me to have a smoker going for 16 hours with huge plumes of hickory smoke roiling out when I share a building with my neighbors. I actually like most of my neighbors! Most of them.
When I first grew interested in grilling I had just started high school. My first cooking experience was around my 12th birthday and what I wanted for a present on my birthday was to be allowed to make dinner for the whole family. All 6 of us. See? I’ve been fucking demented for a long time. I still remember what I made, braised beef and mashed potatoes, please note that I cooked this in the kitchen and not on a grill. I did a pretty good job on it too. You want to know what really hooked me to this current obsession? The feedback from my family. I truly am a shameless cooking whore looking for praise. I won’t lie to you about that. That first meal everyone in the family was saying how great dinner was and I fucking lapped that praise up. If I were to see a psychiatrist they would probably say it was since I was the youngest member of the family and the praise usually ran out on the older brothers before it trickled down to me. Still, it was awesome. Additionally when my parents grilled steaks, the kids got burgers or dogs dammit. I volunteered to grill so I could have a steak too. I felt this was a fair exchange.
Grilling is a very primal experience what with the fire, the meat and the smoke. It’s actually kind of rare to allow someone else to use your grill and for this dish? Hell no I’m not letting anyone else take the grilling credit. My fire! My meat! GRRRRR!!!
My parents didn’t have as many qualms about relinquishing the grill duties and I was carefully taught by my dad the finer points of the grilling process, mainly stay close, pay attention and keep track of time. He also taught me the touch technique, this is where you can test for doneness of the meat without puncturing it with a meat thermometer or cutting into it on the grill. Pops taught me the touching of the hand technique.
This is achieved by touching the base of your thumb with various movement of the fingers. Hold your open palm out and touch the base of the thumb, this is the touch equivalent of raw meat, make the “OK” sign with the index finger and touch the base of the thumb for what should feel like medium rare, put your middle finger to your thumb (all the while resisting the urge to give somebody the bird) touch the base of the thumb and you have the touch equivalent of medium. Do the same thing with you ring finger and thumb, touch the base of the thumb and you have the touch equivalent of medium well and the same trick with the pinky for well done.
Pretty cool, huh?
These steaks are on their way to medium rare. The sear is apparent but due to the thickness of the steaks they will need to cook a couple of minutes longer. A lid over the steaks will help cook these in the middle.
You can also use the face touch technique where you touch the meat first then touch your cheek bone for a medium rare feel, touch your chin for a medium feel and finally touch your forehead for a feel similar to well done. Eventually you will get the hang of it just by touching the grilling meat. I can also tell by the time cooked, the flame level and the little bubbles of juice on the top of the grilling meat. Don’t worry about touching your food, just flip the meat over for a few seconds afterwards and you will grill off the “bad touch.” Besides nobody is going to give a shit if you touched the meat. You are the motherfucking grill master!
I am also a charcoal guy. I know lot’s of people enjoy their gas grills and they have a point as far as the ease to start, ease to clean and consistency of flame but I really like the additional flavor that charcoal imparts and today’s recipe has an amazing result when cooked over charcoal. The cumin in the rub and the charcoal flavor is a flavor combination made in grilling heaven.
As far as choosing your grill, this is entirely your decision. Mine is based on space limitations and cost. Some of these goddamn grills run into the thousands of dollars with their temperature controls and side burners and all that shit but fuck that man! I’ve just got a balcony and I don’t need a contraption that’s going to cost the same as a used Hyundai. Hell no! Head over to Amazon and you can get the exact grill that I use for 30 bucks. You can also pick these up at a Home Depot or whatever home improvement store you have nearby. If you want the grill on legs or need a bigger grill surface that’s fine too, the price will adjust accordingly.
And for fuck’s sake try not to use lighter fluid. If you’re new to the game or just want to do something quick, whatever. Even the Matchlight crap smells like Dresden during WWII. It does burn off but I can still taste the gasoline and I prefer my grilling to be a bit more pristine. Down at the bottom of this post you will see my technique for making “fire starters” that I always use. Some people prefer using a chimney and that’s cool too.
I know what you’re thinking: “Goddamn you’re a wordy bastard, just get to the recipe!” Guilty as charged but I felt that we needed to address some cooking fundamentals and besides this recipe is very simple and I had to have something to drone on-and-on about.
Cumin Rubbed Pork Chops!
Get some damn pork chops! How many depends on how many people you are serving. I did 5 chops today and the ratios of the rest of the ingredients will reflect that. I also prefer the bone-in chops instead of the boneless but whatever you prefer. Boneless sirloin chops are always pretty fucking righteous too.
We are using a two day prep involving two techniques, first we will be brining the chops in a simple brine overnight then we will employ a simple rub just prior to grilling.
For the brine:
3 tablespoons of salt
3 cups of water – 2 of these will be cold cups of water
2-3 bay leaves
tablespoon of whole peppercorns
4-5 cloves of smashed garlic.
In a small pot bring one cup of water to a quick boil then add in the salt. In a medium sized bowl, add in the cold water, garlic, bay leaves and pepper corns. Add the salted water to this bowl and let cool down. We are going to put the pork chops into a very familiar one gallon freezer bag along with the brine. These will be refrigerated overnight. Quick note about the brine, despite the amount of salt in the brine it will not make the meat all that salty. It’s just going to give a depth of flavor to the grilled meat. The brine will also extract some of the blood from the raw meat and will firm the flesh up a bit too. Try the brine with pork and chicken. This will make boneless skinless chicken breasts be as juicy as you always wanted but were rarely able to accomplish.
Next day take the brined chops out of the fridge and let come up to room temperature. Getting the items to be grilled to room temp is a major part of proper cooking and will ensure that the internal meat doesn’t stay uncooked as the external meat cooks.
Cumin Rub:
2 tablespoons ground cumin
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon of salt
1 teaspoon ground black pepper
olive oil
Put all of the spices into a small bowl and add just enough olive oil to make a paste – see picture above. This will be rubbed onto the chops for just a little while. There is enough depth of flavor here that is doesn’t need to marinate or anything, just 20 minutes or so at room temperature will do.
Slap that rub on the pork chops and coat each side.
Important tip! Try not to get any of this rub on your clothes. Between the oil and the dark spices it will leave a mark. Maybe wear a dark shirt too.
Get these damn things on the grill as soon as the grill is ready. The chops I bought for this recipe are fairly thin and they are not going to take very long, just a few minutes per side. If you have thicker cut chops they will take a little longer to cook and may even need the grill cover placed over the top to cook all the way through. There should be grill marks on the chops when they have been cooked. Flip them over and finish the other side. That’s it. Yes you will be wasting some proper perfect coals and if you have something else to throw on the grill now might be the best time.
In the first linked pork chop article there is a bonus recipe for pineapple-serrano salsa that works perfectly with these chops but I’m taking it easy today remember? Confession time! The sides today were a box of Rice-a-roni and a bagged prepackaged salad of mixed greens. The rice-a-roni thing is a throwback to childhood. Don’t judge! Feel free to do your sides of choice. This would make a real quick weeknight dinner and if you want to do these without fucking with the grill, just preheat your oven to 450, saute the chops in a skillet for about 2 minutes per side and put the whole damn skillet into the preheated oven for about 12 minutes. You will miss out on the charcoal/cumin marriage though.
“Wait a minute! Didn’t you say there was an assignment?” You may ask. Actually there is. Sometime over the next few months if you are hosting a party where there will be grilling or if you are attending a similar gathering I want you to try these out. Cook them for your friends and family. If you are going to someone else’s house for the grilling, just carry the brined chops in their brining bag and bring the premade rub in a separate container. Put the rub on the chops about 20 minutes prior to cooking.
In summary this is the perfect recipe for the new grill master yet it produces a highly sophisticated finished product that belies it’s simple ingredient list. Now is the perfect time to work on your grilling skills so when summer rolls around you will be at the top of your grill game and the ladies will be tossing their panties at you unasked.
Something makes you feel more in charge and more primal when you’ve got the fire going, some tongs in one hand (don’t you fucking dare use a fork to turn the meat!) and a beer in the other while the sun shines brightly on the scene.
It’s almost summer folks and this time you will be prepared.
/limps off into the sunset
http://41.media.tumblr.com/c8701682977ee690159c3120e7048dbd/tumblr_nirb5ykOfh1srxd2qo1_1280.jpg
That show was fucking great. He’s good on Man Seeking Woman too.
Not for everybody for sure. Him and Hannibal Buress did some weird ass (funny) shit.
http://115.imagebam.com/download/8Q0FckOv_bMnahTnRwFHdw/48097/480967997/831382.jpg
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http://www.ninersnation.com/2016/3/30/11333060/2016-nfl-draft-kalan-reed-prospect-profile?_ga=1.136275633.184001511.1462146660
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They should give yeah right the concession deal for the new L.A. stadium.
http://116.imagebam.com/download/PzJhFOazg5rmq38jPlvB3Q/48097/480968002/1063521.jpg
http://40.media.tumblr.com/3a828b8dbf2d6c62a6683ca3de5f2906/tumblr_mi2wvuOa7k1rt4dtdo4_500.jpg
Monday; should be fine, lots of production.
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I picture Dj Taj lighting firecrackers while Yeah Right walks around high as a kite in an open bathrobe.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-P-WO59Hp7bA/UcsvFe-XbzI/AAAAAAAB-nY/SEbxN_ejCdM/s1600/ocd-cosmo-the-firecracker-boy-20080430033822761.jpg
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpzh8s2pfB1qjp8quo1_1280.jpg
If you were to reverse the two roles you would be pretty fucking spot on accurate.
That was inaccurate; in the real stock photo your balls would be hanging out.
I’m a beef first guy but I bet just in a pure numbers game I’ve grilled more pork chops than any other grill item. I’m also a chronic over-marinater. It’s just that I get the idea on Thursday to cook out on Friday, buy the fixin’s, do my marinades and then the grillin’ gets pushed back to Sunday: Voila! Over marinated!
Depends on how you like it; I marinate the shit out of things. My steaks turn out to have heat and spice, I get thick pork chops and put stuff in them from cheese, olives, or garlic cloves, etc. The grill is very forgiving except on the over cooking side.
Also on how much time you need to spend cleaning out the grill.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/f5177e4ed2aee5a4a1dd9b2525ac3564/tumblr_o3bnpcWCGH1v6w3juo4_500.gif
I mentioned it a little today and definitely mentioned it in the first pork chop post but I was really late getting to the grilled pork chops. I’m actually dealing with a lot of regret that I wasted so many years baking or frying them.
Maybe this will help the young grill master not make that same mistake.
Sometimes it takes a long time to kill the pig.
So its only like 3 miles to the grocery store. Its a nice day and I need some fresh air. So I walk there just to get a few things…mainly my prescription for my lung shit, some tea bags, a couple of snacks. Maybe three plastic bags total.
I make it back to the apartment complex and there is this woman with a massive Yukon, giving me shit because unlike her, I don’t have reusable grocery bags.
I’m fairly certain that starting that behemoth of a vehicle burned more in fossil fuels than my three bags. I bet all her shit is GMO free, from the expensive grocery store about 30 minutes away from here.
Organic.
Always a good way to waste resources.
Any of the books by by Michael Pollan, jus sayin.
Some people from Kazakhstan were visiting and asked whats the difference between organic and regular produce. I described the industrial application of nitrogen based fertilizers manufactured from gas/oil, heavy pesticides, irrigation and mono-crops vs organic techniques. They laughed and said all of their produce was organic.
No offense.
WHy you no use pig shit like rest of world?
Tea bags?
http://www.hardcoregamer.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/archerteabag.jpg
Kidding. Feel better, take a dump on hood of the Yukon.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/7505e8d573bd00321ee603de2349350b/tumblr_o6cn4wIuIq1rlqqzqo1_1280.jpg
Soup looks very ready.
Let’s have a taste, hon.
I think I found the perfect bowl to eat it out of.
anyone else watching this warriors game?
I’ve got it recorded. Watching the Cubbies first.
My family is drinking all my booze, and here in redneck town the booze stores won’t be open until 9am tomorrow.
This could be bad.
Another reason to love California.
I can go to the grocery store, get a loaf of bread, some bananas, couple of steaks, a case of beer and a bottle of bourbon 7 days a week.
There are some weird ass county rules out there.
Agreed. One of the few things I miss about AZ in fact…(though even there it verboten until noon or at least used to be).
But grocery store/walmart/walgreens liquor is way cool.
I like the way it is in Colorado now; liquor stores can be open all the time. The 3.2 prohibition on grocery stores actually keeps small businesses (liquor stores, distributors, and breweries) alive. However, there is backlash on not letting the big chain grocery stores sell liquor.
Point is; booze.
I like that.
Availability, but screw you chain stores.
Plus you got legal weed…so who cares?
They are open Sundays too. As far as business; the Fed. is fucking with banks so it is basically still a cash business, which hamstrings them somewhat.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/ca94a1ab5f76009436650e27eaec1092/tumblr_o45kmsMxQT1qgul1mo1_1280.jpg
I could used to rolling into a dispensary at 11am on a Sunday.
I gotz cash.
*get
/might be high already…jury still out
Not all small business in encouraged.
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Talladega is the worst race of the season. Its an utter crap shoot as to who even finishes the race.
We need to do away with the second races at Daytona and Talladega and replace them with road courses.
How is it at night?
I’ve got some leg work, oh fuck, to do for next week’s edition. I’m going to recruit DJ Taj to be my sous chef so all I have to do is the glory boy work and take the photos.
With this fucking knee I feel like I’m in the last half mile of the marathon and I’m dragging my broke ass leg towards the finish line.
Appointment with the orthopedic surgeon tomorrow morning for the diagnosis.
What’s the wait time for surgery after that?
I’m not sure. Hopefully less than a week. I still have to do a pre-op visit to my primary care physician and they have to schedule me at wherever it is they are doing the surgery plus the insurance approval bullshit.
I’m so fucking worn down I can’t properly describe it.
I’m ready to be healing instead of still waiting.
Yep, I totally get the red tape thing.
Hope it goes quickly for you.
Where do Wordy Bastard and DJ Taj fall on the Tyler, The Creator / will.i.am beef?
I’m going to side with Tyler. Will really is “making butt shit to make bread.”
Just trying to keep it real.
You know what goes with porkchops? Apple sauce.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7rZEPVttuY
Gotta be Peter Brady…
/clicks link
Wooo!!!! Watched too much TV as a kid. So what do I win?
No Simpsons? DENIED!
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I hear that Chelsea has already posted its line up for May 15th which will consist of 7 members of the under 21 team on the off chance that the Spurs win out the rest of their games and the Foxes lose against Everton.
Just turn things over to get rid of the “bad touch”? Sounds like the Catholic Church for the past 30 years.
Show me on this doll where Monty touched…. your balls.
So does Man City just not give a shit about finishing in the top four?
https://youtu.be/8fpQXQKyOr0
In absentia FOAR SILL…SAINTS WOO!!!!!
Had a feeling that Leicester wasn’t going to win at Man United. Glad they at least held on for a point.
I don’t think I’ve ever cared *this* much about a English soccer side ever. Really has been fun to follow.
TOTES agreed. If Chelski don’t get a point tomorrow, I will loudly and proudly cheer against my own side next Saturday.
I’ve got this beautiful and ridiculously amazing and intelligent girl that I know, we’re supposed to be engaged and if we survive until her daughters make it to college we may follow through on that commitment, and I introduced her to the blog. I know she is one of the few people who fully understands me and wouldn’t be slapped in the face by my blatant vulgarity and she loves it.
She has read about half of my archives and the first thing she asked when she called me the other day was “Do you have a good recipe for Korean street tacos?”
Of course I do.
Of course I do.
The important question here is: “What did she think of (insert DFO’ers name here) MY stuff?”
And also, make with the Korean taco recipe already goddammit.
I’m holding back man.
Everything in due time.
I’ll have to ask her if she read anyone else. What’s scary as hell is she is a professional editor. She had the decency not to red line half of my shit.
awwww, she don’t shit where she eat
damn it ms not yet mrs yeah right… I’m a high functioning alcoholic/dyslexic please be kind.
I drink in hopes that the slurred typing counter acts the jumbled letters.
For her sake, I hope she skips the comments section.
next week is “pumpkin pie” right?
Well, how charming is the motherfucking pig we’re talking about here?
I did pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving.
And garcon means boy.
Looks yummy. Pork is never a bad idea (giggity).
/also mesmerized while reading below about you touching your meat
What a weiner.
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/the-delicious-dish/n11456
Nobody knows if you do it carefully.
Charcoal never blew up in my face.
Eyebrows are overrated.
So we’re agreed that Idris Elba plays Wes Morgan in the inevitable movie about Leicester City’s 2016 campaign?
Djimon Hounsou plays N’Golo Kanté right?
http://img.thesun.co.uk/aidemitlum/archive/02754/01_21203227_04b850_2754588a.jpg
Former manager Nigel Pearson played by Vinne Jones…
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hmmmm, Spurs haven’t won at Stamford Bridge in 26 fucking years.
Yeah…I don’t see how they are getting out of there with 3 points. 8 points needed with three games left.
Effectively the Spurs have to play perfect for three games in a row while the Foxes have to utterly implode.
Methinks the Foxes have already wrapped this up.
Who has two thumbs, turned 47 about three hours ago and is headed to a beer festival in a couple of hours?
THIS GUY!
/no gifts please, but if you must, send them to “H. Cornblower, Esq., c/o Locker #6969420”
TWO 69s and a 420? Horatio has a lot of time to fantasize in that locker.
Is it just me or is the Premier League going to make it as difficult as possible for Leicester to pull this off?
I would be just happy if the officiating was tighter. Pretty much all match long, the ref has been allowing both teams to get away with bloody murder. I don’t see the Drinkwater penalty as a second yellow.
I didn’t think so at first but that second tug on the shoulder sort of sold me.
But yeah, one thing I’ve learned from this season of allegedly following Arsenal all season, (I DIDN’T KNOW KROENKE OWNED THE TEAM OK!?), is that Premier League officiating is erratic at best.
Drinkwater is sent off on a second yellow. Rooney has a free kick just outside of the penalty box.
They REALLY need to hold on for the point and have Chelski earn a draw tomorrow.
Wow…Wayne Rooney finally got a yellow card.
He has only been throwing elbows, and dangerous tackles all match long, along with showering the ref with abuse.
Seriously…any other player on the pitch, either team, especially a non-English player, would have been red carded an hour ago for this behavior.
By “non-English” you mean, of course, “tans a little better”.
Obama remarks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hA5ezR0Kh80
Whitehouse Correspondents Dinner 2016
“The last time I was this high I was trying to decide on my major.”
I’m sure that’s of great comfort to all the people in prison for marijuana, especially as the DEA still targets “legal” pot.
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Leicester City just tied it back up after letting up an earlier goal to the evil empire.
Fun little match.
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Foxy Footy playing WIDE ASS OPEN. It’s weird, but indeed, fun as shit.
I love the people online trying to say the Foxes shouldn’t win today, so they can lock up the championship at home…
Cause its a fucking given that Chelsea is going to roll over for the Spurs…
Did he have a stroke in mid-sentence?
He got asked if he had any feelings on Watford’s manager as the dude replaced him at Valencia. Claudio just blurted out that he wanted “big revenge and to kill him”
That role has Alan Arkin written all over it.
Heh heh. Cumin rub.
It’s really cool that you put these things together every week.
I became a charcoal snob a few years back, and it was right after I bought a new propane tank, my fourth. Every spring my mother-in-law buys a bunch of fertilizer for the azaleas, so if you look in a corner of my backyard right now it looks like I’m planning some shit.
sure…”looks like”
Now I’m hungry…yet again. You bastard man, Yeah Right!
Ok so now that I have my obligatory Kellen Winslow joke out of the way…
I am not too SMRT but I don’t understand the touching of the palm method. How does that tell me if my meat’s done? (I know, I know, PHRASING)
Meat firms as it cooks. Depending on your preference for doneness the touch method should give an indication of where the meat is in the cooking process. I’m a medium rare guy so if you were to touch the meat on the grill it would feel the same as touching the base of your thumb while making the “Ok” gesture with your hand. If you prefer a medium cooked steak it would have a touch similar to the feel of your hand when you are touching your middle finger to your thumb. I guess that’s the “Capice!” Gesture.
Basically it’s a firmness thing and I’m trying to give an equivalent.
SInce WBS knows a guy who knows her, perhaps we could get a DFO interviews Little Caprice as part of our Donks/Panthers opening night coverage in September.
BECAUSE RELEVANT!!!
Yeah, bcuz of course if I ever got the introduction I’d share her.
Of course I would.
If you would introduce me to Little Caprice I promise pork chops for everybody.
Especially for her.
I’m sadly confident I’ll never get an introduction.
But if I do (I am semi-planning a Europe trip in the next year or so) OF COURSE I’ll introduce her to you.
Really…I promise. I would NEVER keep her to myself. Nor would I EVER lie about that sort of thing.
Really. You can trust me.
We’ll pick up Ivana Sugar (whoever the hell that is….amirite????) on the way and the four of us can double date.
I think I might need to stop watching porn.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m89fh36OmK1qeuki6o1_1280.jpg
I GET IT NOW!
Besides nobody is going to give a shit if you touched the meat.
Tell that to Kellen Winslow.