Did y’all like those cool ass guernseys? I dug blaxabbath’s comment about the Western jumper so much I put it up as the banner quote.  I’m still giggling about it.  It is so true!  This week, the AFL Beat is coming to you a day late since there was a little spill in the DFO clubhouse and someone (me) lost the key to the front door.  No worries though as I snuck in the back door and I’m ready to crank this one out for you! It will be quick but definitely sweet and fulfilling!

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!

The Round started off with Friday Night Footy (Friday morning for us) with the Sydney Swans taking on the undefeated North Melbourne Kangaroos.  Every team that is still undefeated in the competition, step forward!  Not so fast, Kangaroos.  The Swans played a great game and beat North by 26.  It was another great game worth waking up early for.  Here, the Swans show off some excellent teamwork that results in a goal:

Have I mentioned that I REALLY LOVE the phrase “sells candy”?

The win vaulted the Swans into 2nd place only one game behind the Kangaroos.  On proper Friday Night (in North America, of course), the first game of the evening between Hawthorn and Brisbane was expected to be a massive blowout.  To the Lions’ credit, it only became a blowout in the fourth quarter.  The Lions ended up losing by 48, but with a bit more luck and better effort in the fourth, they could have had a chance at the win.  Hopefully for them, they learn from this and continue improving.  As you can see, they are capable of some very good things:

They just need to do them for four quarters.  Almost simultaneously, the Melbourne Demons were “hosting” the Port Adelaide Power in Alice Springs as part of Indigenous Round festivities.  Never mind that Adelaide is actually physically closer to Alice Springs than Melbourne.  Anyhoo, this was expected to be a test to see if the Demons were for real and could compete for a finals spot against teams in similar position in the ladder.  The answer was a resounding

as the Power easily took care of the Demons by a score of 121-76.  Have I mentioned my penis is named Hogan?

Later that night, the St. Kilda Saints hosted the winless Fremantle Dockers at the Etihad.  To paraphrase Chick Hearn, the Dockers chances were Slim and None and Slim just left town.  The Dockers continue winless and the Saints have now vaulted themselves within reach of the finals spots. Here, the Saints’ Nick Riewoldt improvises the go-ahead goal in the fourth.

Even later, the now-traditional Dreamtime at the G match between the Essendon Bombers and the Richmond Tigers was held at the MCG.  For Bombers fans, the best thing about the whole night was probably the opening ceremonies:

as the undermanned Bombers fell to the Tigers by 38. Here is some great transition play from the Tigers:

The last game of Friday night/Saturday morning (I woke up early to watch this too) was probably the best.  The Adelaide Crows hosted the GWS Giants in a clash of top eight teams.  It was a very good game that Adelaide threatened to run away with, but the Giants came back and kept it close into the fourth.  In the end, the Crows won by 22 thanks to the brilliance of Eddie Betts, who had an amazing game:

Not to be outdone, GWS’ Toby Greene kicked a pretty amazing goal himself:

North American Saturday night brought my beloved but frustrating Geelong Cats visiting King Hippo’s Carlton Blues at the Etihad.  Considering that the Blues had never beaten the Cats at the Etihad, things looked good.  Well,

Yeah, I was doing that pretty much all night.  We are playing like crap and the Blues played well and beat us by 19.  There were too many critical mistakes and the inaccuracy in front of goal is killing us. Oh, and next week we take on the GWS Giants, the team that beat us earlier in the year!  How do I feel about our chances?

Here is a Carlton highlight. The AFL put up some Cats highlights, but we don’t deserve any:

The team that beat the Cats last week, the Collingwood Magpies, were riding high on a nice win streak and were taking on the Western Bulldogs at the MCG.  It was a very competitive game with the Pies leading most of the way until the bottom fell out in the fourth as the Pies accumulated multiple injuries that left them extremely short-handed. The Doggies ended up with a 21 point victory that had their head coach saying that they had “dodged a bullet”.   Early on, the Pies were great,

but it was too much to overcome in the end:

The last game of the Round was a lopsided victory by the West Coast Eagles at home against the Gold Coast Suns that Stevie Wonder could see coming all the way from his house in the States.  Here is a nice highlight:

Let’s take a look at the ladder, shall we?

The recent disaster run by the Cats has not hurt them too badly in the ladder, but things cannot continue this way else they will easily fall out of the eight.  There is a big group of contenders all the way to the 14 spot with Richmond, so pretty much everyone but the Lions, Bombers, and Dockers still has a chance.  The Suns could have a chance, but they need to start getting some wins NOW.  Here is next week’s schedule:

Friday June 3

North Melbourne v Richmond at Blundstone Arena (First Friday Night Footy game in Tasmania!) (2.50 AM)

Hawthorn v Melbourne at MCG (8.45pm)

Carlton v Brisbane Lions at Etihad Stadium (9.10pm)

Geelong v GWS Giants at Simonds Stadium (11.35pm)

Saturday June 4

Gold Coast Suns v Sydney Swans at Metricon Stadium (2.25pm)

Fremantle v Essendon at Subiaco Oval (2.40pm)

Collingwood v Port Adelaide at MCG (8.10pm)

Western Bulldogs v West Coast Eagles at Etihad Stadium (10.20pm)

Adelaide v St Kilda at Adelaide Oval (11.40pm)

It looks like the Blues will continue their roaring comeback this season while the most competitive games look to be the Bombers-Dockers clash (for bad reasons) and the Western-West Coast and Collingwood-Port Adelaide (for good reasons).  It will also be interesting to see how/if teams like the Kangaroos and the Cats react after this week’s poor results.

Lastly, but not leastly, let’s take a look at the standings in our Footy Tipping Contest!

In a slightly hilarious turn of events, blaxabbath, who forgot to turn in his tips, actually outscored BFC by virtue of the fact that the Road Team is defaulted for every game and the margin for the first game is 0 if tippers forget to put their tips in.  DON’T FORGET TO PUT THE TIP IN!

Sorry for the lack of a new AFL footballer to meet.  I’ll make up for it next time.  See you next week!