TGISF…aka “Merry Freaking Christmas” Sexy Friday Open Thread

Yep, I’m very non-religious….but I love Christmas.

How do I rationalize this disconnect?  Usually, I don’t.  But when I have to, it’s not difficult really.

Was Jesus a deity?  Or was he born of godly origins?  My opinion is….no.  Your opinion may differ, I respect that.

But that’s not the point.

Jesus, even if not a deity, was a pretty fucking awesome dude.  I have no problems at all rationalizing the celebration of this man’s life.

christ-middle-finger
Fuck you too, asshole….oh look over there, is that a cross????   TOO SOON?????

I grew up in a Christian family.  I was raised Methodist.  Not over the top Southern Baptist crazy mind you, but not without some rather fervent believers….some of whom were/are in my extended family even still.

And while the religion aspect was always there at Christmas time in our family, it was less about that than it was about family and being near the ones whom you love, and who love you back.

That’s why I love Christmas.  Whether the originating emotion is religious or not, the end result is that folks are kinder to one another;  folks have a little more faith in their fellow man;  folks are just plain nicer around the Holidays.  And being close to those we love while feeling particularly kind and dare I say….happy?  It makes for good bonding.  Good memories.

I have a lot of fond memories of those I’ve loved throughout my life.  Many center around Christmas time.  Some of the strongest, actually.  And yes, also some bad memories.

But sometimes you’ve gotta have the bad to be able to recognize the good when/if you’re fortunate enough to have it again, even if so briefly that you don’t fully realize until it’s too late.

That’s what makes us who we are.

Yes, I’m an agnostic bordering on atheist, and yet I love Christmas.

Otherwise, I wouldn’t still find this funny….

Or This….

shittersfullOr for that matter, this….

And yes, this too…..

Or even this….

(Yeah Ralphie, kick some Scott Farkus ass…FUCKER HAS YELLOW EYES!!!!!!)

I included this youtube link for Goo Goo Dolls’ “Better Days” in a previous post some weeks back.  I don’t even remember why now, but it must have felt important at the time.  But I bring it up NOW only because I told you fine folks at the time that it fit whatever fucked up mood I was in at the time….in spite of being a Christmas song first and foremost.  And as Christmas Songs go, it’s a pretty good one.

Seriously….give it a listen.  Go ahead, don’t be shy.  No one’s gonna judge you…..

(sincerely…..good Christmas song)

Yeah, I’m rambling.  So what?

But yes, let’s move the festivities along, shall we????

festivus1

alisonchristmasdance
Oh come, now…you all know me well enough to know I wasn’t doing an Xmas Sexy Friday without Alison’s Xmas dance represented.

Airing of Grievances

Football is more fucked up than usual, this week, just so ya know.  Christmas does tend to screw up sports schedules.  This week, most games are Saturday. There are two on Sunday tho….Ravens/Steelers in the afternoon (4:30p EST), then Donks/Chefs late (8:30p EST).  But yeah, mostly Saturday this week.  Fuck you, Christmas.

The Giants and Iggles did their best last night to not further the myth that all TNF games suck.  They failed.  Now I am no Giants’ fan, but reading things like this makes my head hurt.  And now I am forced to hope that all those things happen just so I can be nourished by Eli’s tears.

While also hoping that the Eagles manage to lose out.

hatethe-eagleslebowski

 

Meh…..fuck football.

Hockey is about the same as it has been…pain in my ass…though lookit Columbus all of a sudden.  Friday games.

Meh…..fuck Hockey.

NBA still sucks, but wow did I kill Atlanta or what?  Remember a few weeks ago when I was singing their praises?  No, probably not.  But I did, honest.  And then they went all Atlanta…..LMFAO.

Peace up, A-town down?  PEACE UP A-TOWN DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(yes, I can rap this by heart….no shit, ask entropy…..or ask….ooooops, never mind)

(but what i don’t know if i take that chance, just where is it gonna lead, but what I do KNOW…..)

Ahem….sorry.

NBA Friday sched.

Meh….Fuck the NBA.

College Roundball.

Meh…..

/passes out in own filth

Feats of Strength

This was supposed to be the part where King Hippo and Meself Jello wrestled in our underpants on live feed, to see who gets the last turkey leg.  But I couldn’t convince him to do it (on camera…wink wink).

So instead, I’m in the mood for a few good FAIL gifs….

xmas2
I’m certain the pediatrician won’t be suspicious about the facial lacerations/abrasions. You’re good.

 

xmas1
Ah yes, ’93. A year many of us would like to forget.

 

xmas3
Mighta been ’93 again…just saying.

 

xmas4
Is it a catch? I vote “yes”.

 

xmas5
Sheeesh kid, your little speech was so great that you even bored the tree into a coma. You got what you deserved you mouthy little shit.         (Alternate Caption….I need an adult, I need an adult!!!!!)

 

Our Festivus Miracles

There’s really no right or wrong answer when it comes to Christmas Sexy.  Everybody is a little tipsy, everybody is looking to score.

santashelper
But anything with laces earns bonus points.

 

I intentionally broke my “Boots” streak last week (fuck you Cal Ripken Jr.), but this week it’s back.

santagirlboots
Yes dear….most definitely leave THOSE boots on. Yes Indeedy….

 

There is also some weirdness going on at Christmas…but really that’s true anytime…

rudolphcostume
I’m not not saying I don’t don’t like it. Maybe if the glowing nose was a little lower?

 

candace
Candace has a nice bush…..errrrrrr, TREE.

 

Of course you realize that if you’re dressed like a candy cane……

evenmoreboots
You’re gonna get licked….right?  And also…..boots.

 

Elves?  ELVES!!!!!!!!

bestelfever2
I’m hiring for a new assistant…yes dear, you’re hired.

 

More Elf?  Meh, sorta maybe….

bestelfever
SHUT UP!!!! CLOSE ENOUGH!!!!!

 

It’s got a bow on it….

bowonit
You guys musta chipped in for ol’ tWBS’ Christmas Gift. You shouldn’t have. Oh…wait…yes you should have.

 

Best.  Snowman.  Ever.

snowman2
I repeat….Best. Snowman. Ever!!!!!!!!!!

 

2nd best snowman ever???  2ND BEST SNOWMAN EVER!!!!!!!

snowman
Yeah, we might need a recount.

 

Have you been naughty?  Or nice?

naughty
No, it doesn’t matter…..either way it’s gonna happen.

 

So THAT’S what happened to my beard…

interesting
I am not going to make the joke I was going to make. I’m already going to hell, why speed things up?

 

A gift, pour moi?

gifts
I may or may not personally know this girl to a degree. Be nice.

 

Santa might be a little late this year…

Motorcycle Details
Respect, Dude.  Priorities.

 

Next….this a VERY nicely executed photo….seriously….pay attention, dammit…..

The stark beauty of the face/eyes, the hard lines around the face…..then with the softening of features as the photo fades into its back drop.  This is a masterpiece, I shit you not.

santayoushouldnthave
Well done, Derrick.

 

This has top shelf selfie written all over it, but still not a terrible effort…..

sexy-christmas-costume
Even with shitty lighting and poorly thought out background contrast, you don’t look all that terrible.

 

sheerxmas
Oh, now you guys are just getting TOO generous. And also, the rest of my beard….

 

More boots?

moreboots
MOAR BOOTS!!!!!!!

 

Hey guys, stop the car….that girl just smiled at me.

eva-habermann-christmas
She seems nice.  Nice shoulders too, eh Hippo?

 

Fake Tree….Fake Fire.

fakefirefaketree
OK, I’m not saying I’m leaving or anything….but the false advertising better end here. Just saying.

 

Another Elf?

santagirl
Meh….screw it at this point.  CLOSE ENOUGH!!!!!!

 

She seems cozy….

cozy
Pssssst….see the boots? I’m not gonna say it….but you see ’em, right????

 

I don’t know exactly where to put this, but I find it funny as shit (yes, I’m dark).  So for now, I’m gonna leave it here between our feature, and our equal time for the ladies…..

reindeer

Equal Christmas Sexy Fo’ da Ladies

I dunno why I keep putting stuff up (giggity) for you ladies…..but here anyway…..

sexyxmasdude1
So ummmm…..festive……?

 

sexyxmasdude2
I’ve literally NEVER been at more of a loss for words.

 

sexyxmasdude3
Nope….I was wrong.
sexyxmasdude4
Seems energetic and committed….and he brought TWO gifts.
sexyxmasdude5
Thank You Santa!!!!! It’s about damned time.

Yup….still funny……

reindeer

This week’s original snapshots?  Duh…..

This year’s Christmas tree, dumbasses…..

christmastree16
Inorite?

And also last year’s, with extra kitty (don’t say pussy, don’t say pussy, don’t say pussy)….

go_away_human_by_wufpacker-d9iu72b
Yes, this is my real life puddy tat, after having claimed last yr’s Xmas tree as legal napping ground.  It’s entitled -Go Away Human-

 

OK then….Merry Freaking Christmas….I guess.

Ahhhhh…..Bad lighting on the porch…..

 

Where’s the Tylenol?

 

Sons of bitches!!!!  Bumpuses!!!!!!

Yeah, gotta…….

Have a good Christmas, folks.

cheryl

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Don T

“to blunt that end-of-season Giants magic that in the past has foretold playoff greatness.” Gimme a fucking break ?? [gags]
We are atheists, but tree WITH manger scene is obligatory. Why let religion ruin the cool stuff about Xmas?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Oh fuck. It’s 3:14 (Pi O’Clock) and I’m selecting photos to make prints of … AGAIN. Because I was 90% done when I deselected the 300 — from over 16,000 — that had made the cut. Anyway, Amazon Printing is having a 75% off sale on prints and at least given the last batch I received they do good work.

Beerguyrob

It is 1:00 AM Pacific time, and I am choosing to stop drinking so I may sleep and begin drinking anew in the morning before the football game.

PRIORITIES!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

There are few things I enjoy more than simply having a bourbon on my patio while it rains.

http://dev-wordpress-storage.s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/no-wrong-way.gif

Bonus: My roof no longer appears to leak!

JerBear50

Boss Todd is NOT gonna like you fucking around with his TA.

Unsurprised

Boss Todd isn’t classy enough for a Trans Am. He as a 1983 Camaro Z28 IROC.

Unsurprised

Good night
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Unsurprised

This woman has some impressive bodypaint work, big tits. https://www.reddit.com/user/KayPike/submitted/

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Made even more impressive knowing there’s probably a giant bush in the middle

litre_cola
Unsurprised

QUICK! TO THE TITTYCAVE!
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Senor Weaselo

Okay, boarding the plane in Taiwan for China now. Have a merry happy, be safe, go do your things. Have fun, guys.

Unsurprised

Be safe. Have fun. Get laid.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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