And now, a message from King Roger I

♫ set to the music of “You’ll Be Back” from Hamilton ♫

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdxLohjwhoQ

You say
The price of my sport’s not a price that you’re willing to pay,
You cry
There’s nothing to do but hate-watch and hope Tom Brady dies.
Why so sad?
Remember we made an arrangement to dictate your falls,
Now you’re making me mad,
‘Cause maybe the season has ended, but we rule all.

You’ll be back, soon you’ll see
You’ll again shun all reality,
You’ll be back, time will tell
You’ll remember football’s served you well,
Seasons rise, records fall,
You have seen me justly rule it all
And if you fail to yield
I will dock your team a draft pick… all just to Protect the Shield.

Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat dat da ya da
Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat dat da

You say we have no morals and we stomp out fun,
You’ll be the suff’ring party if you’re truly done,
So don’t take back your Sundays,
Plus we still own your Mondays,
And we will keep your Thursdays,
Forever… forever… and ever and ever and ever…

You’ll be back, like before,
Your life’s meaningless, so you’ll want more,
Watch the Draft, all three days,
See how I earn heaps of PK’s praise,
If you’re gone, I’ll lose face,
You’ll call me a National Disgrace,
So if push comes to shove,
I will move another franchise—it’ll be the one you love!

Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat dat da ya da
Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat—Do it or I’ll fine you!

[Every NFL player joins in. James Harrison will be fined $50,000 anyway.]

Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat dat da ya da!
Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da da da da
Dat dat da ya da!

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Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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[…] Who are you to question King Roger I? […]

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Remember, folks, it’s not a chop block if the Patriots do it!

(Actually the officiating in this game wasn’t terrible. But still.)

Sharkbait

I was fully expecting a flag to be thrown there.

herodotus450

I guess you could say that he wasn’t “engaged” (no homo) with the regular block before he got hit low?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Doesn’t matter, if that happens then the flag is on the guy who hits him high.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It will be in the low 70s in Denver this weekend, so I have spring to look forward to.

[looks at calendar; it’s fucking February]

Wait, WUT?

Sharkbait

It’s the damn Chinese and their global warming conspiracy at work again I tell you!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Damn greedy rich scientists! Corrupt liars! No peer revi…. oh, wait.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I love this.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Other than Dan Quinn, who can we blame for yesterday’s choke job? Like most Trump voters, I need a scapegoat for my misery.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Kyle Shanahan, for sure.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

In reality, Kyle Shanahan. C’mon, fucknuts, even your dad could figure out that a couple of inside runs and a field goal would have sealed it. But NOOOO, you had to prove to Jed York that you were a fucking bigshot by going for the touchdown…

In Trumpovision: Ummm… (spins Wheel O’ Minorities) looks like gay Inuits.

Horatio Cornblower

Before Shanahan gets done San Francisco is going to long for the glory days of Jim…Tomsula.

Beerguyrob

I am more than willing to drop some blame on Matt Ryan for his lack of pocket presence.

Even if I don’t fault him the strip-sack, how do you average 9 yards per drop? Some MVP; even Peyton knew when to get out of Dodge, and the opponents could see his head from space.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A big reason for every fucking bounce going just right for the P*ts in the second half is because Hillary is unlikable and ran a shitty campaign.

Horatio Cornblower

If Hillary spent more time in Wisconsin there’s no way Edelman makes that catch.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
jjfozz

I did not watch one second after the touchdown, don’t even know if it was reviewable. Because my life has no more meaning, I don’t believe in God, I don’t believe in Beatles, I just believe in the fact that scum, like cream, always rises to the top.