Requiem for the Bears — A 2023 Musical Season to Date Retrospective

BrettFavresColonoscopy - November 15, 2023November 15, 2023

The Bears Bye Week isn't until Week 13 this year, which seems almost cruel given how much Bearsenscheisse we've witnessed this season (both the self inflicted and cruel twists of injury fate kind). So why not recap the year to date in song. Maybe get in the right mood/cadence with

Your “Random Thoughts with BFC, Volume 25” Tuesday Night Open Thread

DFOing Good

BrettFavresColonoscopy - October 24, 2023October 24, 2023

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Remember that old SNL sketch “Fecal Matter with your host John Fecal”? No? Yeah I figured it was just me. It was a solid (heh) talk show format with a specialized host and topic. Well, we ain’t exactly doing Pod Flies Open around here, but what about in written form, maybe say

Your 2023-2024 Chicago Bears Preview

Team Previews

BrettFavresColonoscopy - September 8, 2023September 8, 2023

Banner photo from here. 3 posts from me in one week? You're fucking welcome. What's that? You have a complaint? What do you mean the NFL season has already started and this preview is late? The Bears haven't started their season yet, have they? So then it isn't late. Suck it. Anyway,

Your “Random Thoughts with BFC, Volume 13” Thursday Night Open Thread

DFOing Good

BrettFavresColonoscopy - February 16, 2023February 16, 2023

Remember that old SNL sketch “Fecal Matter with your Host, Doug Fecal”? No? Yeah I figured it was just me. It was a solid (heh) talk show format with a specialized host and topic. Well, we ain’t exactly doing Pod Flies Open around here, but what about in written form, maybe

Cheers to the Centenarian Club!

DFOing Good

BrettFavresColonoscopy - January 24, 2023January 24, 2023

Interior, a sitting room decorated like your grandmother's living room in 1989 (except no plastic covers on the couch). Orange and blue crepe paper streamers and similar regalia are scattered across the room, and two men are hanging up additional decorations. Guy 1: So...what's the haps? Guy 2: We're celebrating the old

Bears at the Bye: 2022 Boogaloo

DFOing Good

BrettFavresColonoscopy - December 8, 2022December 8, 2022

Honestly, I thought about having the whole post be the banner image/gif. Then I thought about bringing back my other kind of bear gimmick (not that one). Then I took a nap. Then I decided I would just say the following: We knew this team would suck. In the season preview,

Your “Here We Go Again” 2022-2023 Chicago Bears Preview

Team Previews

BrettFavresColonoscopy - September 23, 2022September 22, 2022

Banner Photo Credit: DrawPlayDave Yes, I know the season is well underway, but hey, I didn't post last year's preview until the Bears' bye week, so let's call this a win. I guess we can start with this season's most famous Bears fan, this guy who is probably single now-- https://twitter.com/SuperBookUnit/status/1571953208767160323?s=20&t=R4nosHifaZXjthbw_aRIhA Look, I don't

Your “Oh, crap, did the season start already?” 2021 Chicago Bears Preview / Bye Week Update

DFOing Good

BrettFavresColonoscopy - November 17, 2021November 16, 2021

Scene: Interior Halas Hall. The entire Bears brain trust [sic] sits around a mahogany table talking about the current roster, coaching staff, and other personnel. SO HOW DO WE THINK THE TEAM IS LOOKING THIS YEAR? Better than my face? Look, I'll bet my job that we can be competitive, even while

Your “Who’s That Mysterious Figure?” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

BrettFavresColonoscopy - November 29, 2020November 29, 2020

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It was a cold night. Not historically cold or even stereotypically cold given how goddamn freezing it can get around these parts but just objectively and objectionably cold. I hate it when people dismiss temperatures in the 20s (that's Fahrenheit, obviously) as "not that bad"--Fuck you, when condensation chills to

Tales from the Kicked

DFOing Good

BrettFavresColonoscopy - October 31, 2019October 31, 2019

Exterior, an old and rickety mansion. Cobwebs cling to crevices that cover creaking corners. Of course, the night is dark and stormy. Lightning cracks through the air, breaking through the darkness to reveal glimpses of prying eyes from fauna and who knows what else. On the front stoop, a slight

2019 Chicago Bears at the Bye

Bye Week Updates

BrettFavresColonoscopy - October 8, 2019October 6, 2019

As I write this, the Bears have just finished choking away a game in London, like Theresa May but with none of the charm. They only had a lead at all due to a fantastic second half comeback, and then the last few drives were marred by incompetence and malfeasance,

What Kind of Circus Features Kickers? Your 2019 Chicago Bears Preview

BrettFavresColonoscopy - August 27, 2019August 27, 2019

Awesome Photoshop courtesy of Low Commander of the Super Soldiers Ah, the NFL offseason, always filled with optimism, Dan Snyderschadenfraude, and this year, a veritable Who's That? of placekickers taking a ride on the Chicago Bears carousel. Do you remember how last season ended? I wonder if anyone in Chicago has? Let's take a