Requiem for the Bears — A 2023 Musical Season to Date Retrospective

The Bears Bye Week isn’t until Week 13 this year, which seems almost cruel given how much Bearsenscheisse we’ve witnessed this season (both the self inflicted and cruel twists of injury fate kind). So why not recap the year to date in song. Maybe get in the right mood/cadence with our friend Billy Joel.Ā  And yes, I’m counting this as the Bye Week Update.Ā 

Justin Fields, DJ Moore, high draft picks will hit for sure, Kevin Warren, Ryan Poles, new brain trust in here.

Rodgers gone, North is open, drop the usual pregame moping, ’23 could finally be the year of Da Bears.

šŸŽ¼šŸŽ¶šŸŽ¶šŸŽµ

Sky’s the limit, take your shot, lakefront flick of your GSH-spot, Deal’s done, Metra schedules, next stop: Arlington Heights.

But for now, Green Bay sucks, can’t have faith in Kirk or Goff, grab a sausage, get excitedbut then kiss your hopes goodbye!

We didn’t shit the Field, no the Fields been shitty, Da Bears ain’t pretty

We didn’t shit the Field, the woods are calling, this team’s been falling.

Chase Claypool, Peterman, cutting him to sign again? Substitution rainman, booing the first weekend.

Finger pointing, shitty play, formation boning, no protection, Fields concussion where’s he going WHY’D HE GO BACK IN?!

4th down call, Broncos loss, Eberflus incompetent, are we tanking or just ass, fumble score to blow the lead.

D coach going AWOL, FBI at Halas Hall?, Peanut Tillman gets involved, pedo rumors start to trend!

We didn’t shit the Field, no the Fields been shitty, Da Bears ain’t pretty

We didn’t shit the Field, the woods are calling, this team’s been falling.

Claypool “away from team”? Worst coach speak you ever seen. Butkus dead, 0 and 4, couldn’t take it anymore.

O-Line’s hurt, Fields’s thumb, arm wrestling champion’s son, RB coach fired next, HR complaints (about sex?).

šŸŽ¼šŸŽ¶šŸŽ¶šŸŽµ

14 game losing streak. Roquan Smith “career saved”, O-Line blocking teammates. Equipment theft, Montez Sweat.

Justin Fields hurt or not? Can Flus figure out how to talk?Ā Random players put on blast, NFC North dead last.

We didn’t shit the Field, no the Fields been shitty, Da Bears ain’t pretty

We didn’t shit the Field, the woods are calling, this team’s been falling.

Picks from Tyson Bagent, Chargers on the march in, last in sacks, culture sucks, this whole place is a clusterfuck.

Panthers’s pick, IR’s packed,Ā Gonna draft a quarterback? Justin Fields coming back. Luke Getsy should be fired next!

Defensive backs with mono, fans going psycho, Ginny 100 years old, Ā Gonna wait a hundred more?

We didn’t shit the Field, no the Fields been shitty, Da Bears ain’t pretty

We didn’t shit the Field, the woods are calling, this team’s been falling

šŸŽ¼šŸŽ¶šŸŽ¶šŸŽµ

5 5 votes
Article Rating
BrettFavresColonoscopy
BFC is a Chicago native transplanted to our nation's capital and transplanted again to the mountain West, then to SoCal, then back to the mountain West, and then again back to our nation's capital. He enjoys football, whisky, and the oxford comma.
Subscribe
Notify of
23 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Mr. Ayo

That is quite the plethora of links. Fantastic work, BFC

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m afraid to click on all of them because one of them might lead to a German porn site specializing in Bearsenschiesse.

Doktor Zymm

I feel like there should be an official stamp for this

Gumbygirl

I’m determined to click them all, because he put so much time and effort into it!

Redshirt

They thought the Bears would be simple yet catchy like Billy Joelā€™s ā€œWe Didnā€™t Start the Fireā€, but it was lazy and bland like Fall Out Boyā€™s ā€œWe Didnā€™t Start the Fire.ā€

Doktor Zymm

Impressive lyricsmithing! Far more impressive than anything the Bears have done so even though I completely lack the authority to do so I am naming BFC team MVP for this season

scotchnaut

CBC Radio has a human interest program that runs from noon til 1pm during the week-today’s topic was, “Have You Ever Been Inconvenienced by a Stopped Elevator?” The co-host is a completely humorless ‘expert’ in the field and loves to hear the sound of his own voice. One caller recounted his riveting story of being stuck in one for 45 minutes during the late ’80’s when he was working as a bike messenger! He lost revenue that day but the dispatcher gave him extra work later in the week to make up for….ZZZZZZZZZ.

Gumbygirl

Expert in what, inconveniences? Elevators?

2Pack

Wifeys Doc office waiting room tune-oh-disweek is… Kung Fu Fighting.

Flash back city this place is.

Next week I probably will get Muskrat Love.

Chit U nawt.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The only thing more shocking than the Bears having not one, not two, but THREE wins is the Raiders team that they beat having five.

2Pack

Simply no splainin it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s like trying to explain how mRNA vaccines work to Jack Del Rio.

Last edited 5 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Gumbygirl

Steelers have won 6 games, and I don’t think our boy Kenny has thrown for 200 yards in any of them. It’s a mystery!

scotchnaut

That was as well done as a steak at Mar-a-Lago.

2Pack

Cleva!

Horatio Cornblower

This is genius.

King Hippo

Now, imagine all those bears above having a blood orgy! The Bearistocrats!!

Senor Weaselo

“And more importantly, it’s not Piano Man!” -Billy Joel