To Hell With International Breaks Especially Before Derby Day

King Hippo - April 1, 2017March 30, 2017

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Everton starts this weekend's festivities with a visit to Anfield to take on the hated Redshite (7:30, NBCSN), a ground at which they have not won since Jeebus walked the Earth. To make matters worse, over the interminably boring international break that preceded this crucial match (not only for pride

Lesser Footy Before the Madness

King Hippo - March 4, 2017March 4, 2017

131

Yes, it's almost time to be consumed with our office pools and the like. But first, there is some unfinished business in the Prem worth watching, like the amazing seasons of strikers Harry Kane (Spurs) and Romelu Lukaku (Everton). It's quite refreshing that neither of the marquee goal scorers plays for

Returning From A Frightful Lesser and Greater Footy Weekend

King Hippo - January 14, 2017January 13, 2017

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Let's DO BETTER, shall we? Things kick off bright and early Saturday (7:30, NBCSN), with 3rd position Spurs hosting surprisingly pesky West Brom. The Albion (least imposing mascot EVAR ,, amirite??) sit in 8th, only 1 point behind Everton. Hopefully, the unbeaten form at White Hart Lane continues, because

FA Cup Starts in Earnest, No Everton/Foxy Footy TV??

King Hippo - January 7, 2017January 6, 2017

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Way to go, 2017. As of this writing, Fox Sports Go is all borken (won't let me log in under my cable login or brother-in-law's Dish Network one), so I can't even check for a random secondary feed. I will likely be stuck listening to the terrible radio

Hippo Salutes Leighton Baines, Bedlam, and Other Lesser Footy Nonsense

King Hippo - December 3, 2016December 3, 2016

240

Sometimes, I really have a hard time getting out of bed, even with a full day of footy lying ahead. It is very easy to be as cynical about footy as it is life in general. Then, you read an article like this and boom, one falls in

Everton on City’s Heels? BUHLEE DAT!! /plus bad JV “action” smh

King Hippo - September 24, 2016September 23, 2016

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I had two more macro observations on the EPL season. First, if'n you take a gander at the table, everyone is right where a purist would say they should be. That is, nobody is higher in the table than a side with a better goal differential. I

Third Place Everton and Lamar! (Plus Other Minor Things Previewed)

King Hippo - September 17, 2016September 16, 2016

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Pictured is Ronald Koeman, in a rare smiling pose. Despite being unbeaten on the young season (with three wins on the bounce, after humiliating David Moyes on Monday Night Footy with some help from Big Rom), Big Ron is something of a perfectionist, always urging his players to strive

UEFA Euros Preview – Belgium

King Hippo - June 5, 2016June 4, 2016

As the above-pictured Romelu Lukaku (Everton WOO!!!!) goal may remind you, Belgium are the side that took out los Estados Unidos in the Round of Sixteen at the 2014 World Cup (aka, the last time fellow Evertonian Tim Howard wasn't a sack of monkeyshit). Unlike his Cutler-sulky Blues teammate

Foxy Footy’s Crowning Weekend? Plus Rounds 4-7!

King Hippo - April 30, 2016April 29, 2016

293

As an Evertonian, I'm up early today mostly to boo. Plus I have to wake up kids and drive them around for various school-related shit. Parenting is hard, even half-assed single Dad parenting. Yes, our dear friends at Leicester City only need 3 points out of 9 (or Spurs

No Raging Semi FOAR the FA Cup No Mo (smh)

King Hippo - April 23, 2016April 22, 2016

Above is Ramiro Funes Mori, grabbing the badge. That's all well and good...except it's in the midst of a 4-nil loss to the Redshite, after getting a red card that will keep him out of the "Hail Mary" chance to save the lost season at Wembley Stadium today. Fuck.

FA Cup Quarterfinals/Abbreviated EPL Schedule Preview

King Hippo - March 12, 2016March 11, 2016

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Finally, there is no way around it. I have to talk about the FA Cup. We are now in the quarterfinal round, which is the last played outside London's Wembley Stadium (ie, the stage where Everton will feel they've accomplished something and shit the pitch). It's known as a

Pre-Super Bowl L EPL Super Happy Funtime Preview

King Hippo - February 6, 2016February 4, 2016

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Through the magic of Amazon, I recently acquired a new Everton fleece throw. Since its addition, the Toffees are 2-0 and have yet to concede (albeit against a shockingly shite League Two side in the FA Cup, and the Barcodes in the League). I can only hope neither