2022-23 Lesser Footy – Oh We Back, Y’all

King Hippo - August 6, 2022August 4, 2022

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Let's face it, Clubhouse footed ball enthusiasts. Most of our dreemz is ded already, but the beauty of Week One is we don't know FOR CERTAIN or how they'll go about dying. So, we giddy-up with NBC, USA, and Peacock Premium and WE FOOKIN' RIDE again. Friday Night Footy gave us a

Saturday De-Motivational and Lesser Roll Call

King Hippo - July 2, 2022July 2, 2022

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The best you can hope for is to die in your sleep. - Kenny Rogers, 20th century American poet I thought. I would. Be mooooorrrre than this.. - Cloud Nothings, 21st century American poets https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIitQNXVgb8 Life is a wet bag of shit. Just a matter of when it breaks, not if. And how

Inside This Weekend’s Big Match! – Saturday Wakey-Wakey Thread

King Hippo - May 28, 2022May 26, 2022

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Will the thread title summon Wakezilla?? And no, I don't mean today's Massive-Cuntoff. I won't be watching that, though I must wish Don Carlo well (but Other Hippo gags in saying so). NO! All eyes SHOULD be turned to Wembley, where Our Erotic Robins Hood face off against dire and boring Huddersfield

God Bless Super Frank Lampard

King Hippo - May 21, 2022May 20, 2022

I don't know what Lampard told his Very Disappointing Everton charges at the half. I just know it WORKED, even though I had succumbed to despair and turned the telly off. Survival. Somehow, someway...the Blues avoided the drop and have a fighting chance to rebuild. Frank Lampard is the right man to

Ghosts in the Machine Saturday Morning Thread

King Hippo - May 14, 2022May 13, 2022

No Prem matches today. Fookin' seriously - NONE. There is a Cup final at Wembley, but I ain't got no time for that. You do get a tasty Championship promotion playoff, with Team Knifey hosting the Robins Hood (10:00, ESPN+). These always fascinate me, when a neutral. Though I think it

Buttholes Extra Puckered Lesser Footy Open Thread

King Hippo - May 7, 2022May 5, 2022

I am writing this on Thursday, 5 May - since I will be away from my 'puter almost all of Friday. Thank fuck Everton aren't playing. I am tense enough as is. Oldest HippoSpawn graduates university. I am proud of her, so I will go. I will make no emotional displays,

Lesser and Draftmas Combo Platter

King Hippo - April 30, 2022April 29, 2022

Oh man, such a contrast between watching the machinations of my two great loves. Donks WOO!!! draft following is just plain, relaxing fun. I know they won't, say, trade up and draft Noted Local Moe-ron Sam Howell. Because we gots Russell Wilson. I don't have to sweat making reach picks, because we

Saturday “All Aboard the Sinking Ship” Morning Thread

King Hippo - April 23, 2022April 22, 2022

I apologize in advance for tomorrow. I will go missing all day, and there will be no Derby of Ultimate Despair live blog. Because I hate those fucking thundercunts so very much that I can't even bear to watch the mauling. Hope for Premier League survival is fading, but there's still

Hippo’s Mid-week Waking Nightmare (part el tres)

King Hippo - April 20, 2022April 20, 2022

Please to keep your hands inside the car at all times. You don't want to acquire the nickname "Stumpy." (this opener accompanied a winner, and I am superstitious as fuck) As during the last two Bitter Blue torture sessions, I will add my instant reactions as the match progresses (with time

Half-Schedule Weekend – Lesser Footy Open Thread

King Hippo - April 16, 2022April 15, 2022

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This is the part of the Lesser schedule when the cup ties start flying fast and furious, and with MOAR at stake. You saw a truly heroic effort by rockingdog's Chelski squadron mid-week, but the Real Cuntfaces got off the mat and advanced. Kings of Shithousery Atleti (meant mostly as

Welcome BACK To Hippo’s Nightmare Live Blogging

King Hippo - April 9, 2022April 9, 2022

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Please to keep your hands inside the car at all times. You don't want to acquire the nickname "Stumpy." As during mid-week's torture session, I will add my instant reactions as the match progresses (with time stamps) in the body of the post. I used to regularly live blog NC State

Spare Us The Qatar! – World Cup Draw Roundtable

King Hippo - April 2, 2022April 2, 2022

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Are you ready for some desert football? Because you'll soon be getting it. Before all that, a reminder that the Prem is back this morning, but feel free to sleep in. The 7:00 fixture is going to make the Final Four seem fellatio-free. Bees/Chelski is in the barrel at 10:00 (USA),