Rum, Simile and the Lash: Writers’ Block Edition (and Tuesday Open Thread)

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - May 17, 2022May 17, 2022

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So...how 'bout them...uh...playoffs? I love it when that team does the sport that they play... Listen, the creative well (none too deep to begin with) has run dry. I tried to do a Larry King Dead column, but I am foiled by the deeply twisted nature of our current Reality. LKD

Kicking Cousins: Tuesday Night Open Thread

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - February 22, 2022February 22, 2022

Oh thank God. I thought that interminable NFL season would never finish. Did it have amazingly high levels of play? Yes. Did it have on of the most engaging and exciting post-seasons in recent memory. It did. And did it feature heroes, villians, betrayal and a stupid new name for the Redacteds? You

…Well Let’s Play Chess: Thursday Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - February 17, 2022February 17, 2022

This week's title comes from the classic Blazing Saddles answer to the question paraphrased as "So what should we do now?" Yes, we are staring at a long, cold offseason of no NFL action until (checks league calendar) March 1? Yes, the league's annual Underwear Parade begins in TWO WEEKS! And this

Rum, Simile and the Lash: Tuesday Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - January 25, 2022January 25, 2022

So that happened. Yes, it was an amazing game. And yes, if Andy Reid really had any of the good-natured regular-guy humanity we attribute to him, neither Tyreek Hill nor Willie "Marvin" Gay would have been on that field. And Josh Allen might be this generation's John Elway or Dan Marino.

A Modester Proposal: DFO Buys the Denver Broncos (and Tuesday Open Thread)

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - January 18, 2022

I have been called many things: Dreamer. Madman. Mrs. Ethel Burstein. But this is not some delusion of grandeur, like that time I thought I could renew my drivers license in less than two hours. No, this dream can come true. WILL come true. DFO is going to buy the Denver Broncos. It sort

Wait, It’s Tuesday? Where Are The NFL Games? Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - December 28, 2021December 28, 2021

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[EDITED: JOHN MADDEN IS DEAD AND A HAMSTER BIT A KID AT A MOVIE THEATER. NEWS ALWAYS BREAKS LATE] Jeebus on a whole wheat cracker, what day is it? Shouldn't there be two or three postponed NFL games? Whole Wheat Cracker Tangent: remember Stoned Wheat Thins? Man, those were the shit back

Death to Our Smurf Overlords: A Larry King Not Live Tuesday Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - December 14, 2021December 14, 2021

Hello, friends. It's another High Drama Tuesday in the National Football League, and yours truly has some thoughts. Yes, I am still dead, but my head's cryogenic storage pod only gets NFL Network and the Oprah Winfrey Network, so watching Urban Meyer threaten his handpicked staff with death for

Pole Assassin Monkey Attack II: When Nature Calls! Tuesday Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - December 7, 2021December 7, 2021

"Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity." -Wm. Butler Yeats Yes, the Bills lost a heartbreaker to the Accursed Patriots /spits. But all is

Thanksgrieving Week Tuesday Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - November 23, 2021November 23, 2021

Thanksgiving is my favorite mainstream holiday. As soon as people can agree on a date for National Oral Sex Day (which obviously SHOULD be on June 9) that'll be up there. But of the pillars that support Big Holiday in America (New Years, Valentine's Day, Easter, 4th of July, Talk

It’s…Tuesday Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - November 9, 2021

I suppose after last week's Stripper Monkey Attack, we were probably due for a lull. No famous quarterbacks ripping off the mask to show their batshittery. No deadly car crashes. Frankly (no pun intended), the most interesting NFL News is not NFL related: Ageless Wonder Frank Gore will be boxing on

Pole Assassin Monkey Attack! Tuesday Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - November 2, 2021November 2, 2021

"Ladidahdahdah, just a normal Tuesday. Maybe I'll check in on DoorFliesOpen..." BOOM! STEALTH CRIMEBEAT! Oh bitches, you didn't realize what you were walking into, didja? Don't worry. It'll all be over soon. Just lie back and think of England. *Well, the lead story as of this morning involved a stripper, her monkey, Halloween and

Tuesday Night Open Thread and 2021 GLORIOUS BUFFALO BILLS Bye Week Update

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - October 26, 2021October 26, 2021

So, apparently they played football last weekend? The Big Bye (wherein nearly 20% of the league was idle) hit especially hard this year, because it included the guaranteed AFC Champion Buffalo Bills. Did I go there? Yes I did, you craven weirdos. GUARANTEED. AFC. CHAMPIONS. That noise you hear from Orchard Park?