Can’t We Just Hit “Simulate Season”?: 2023 Carolina Panthers Season Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 14, 2023August 14, 2023

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2022 PREDICTION: Bad 2022 REALITY: Worse (but not bad enough) The Carolina Panthers. They have been in the league for nearly 30 years, and yet they have never shaken that Expansion Franchise stink despite playing in two Super Bowls- which I attribute to their insistence on teal-adjacent colors. They exist solely to

THUD…Tuesday Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 8, 2023August 8, 2023

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REMINDER: This year, we've chosen to open up Team Previews for audience participation. We've had several brave volunteers, but the following are still available: C-Hox Giants Tampa Bay Panthers Falcons So if you'd like to try your hand, reach out to me at bobhausocrack@gmail.com and we'll get you set up. NFL NEWS -COMMANDERS CHAOS: Whelp, just in case

The Call Goes Out…Tuesday Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 1, 2023August 1, 2023

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REJOICE! FOOTBALL IS UPON US! FOOTBALL IS NIGH! Preseason football is staring us in the face, and for all its ugliness, it's good to have it back. And with the advent of the new season, it is time for TEAM PREVIEWS!!!! This year, we've chosen to open it up for audience participation. Many

In the Grim Darkness of the Right Now…Tuesday…Er, Monday Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - July 24, 2023July 24, 2023

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So obviously this is not the Weekly Warhammer Woundup, and for that I am sorry. Thanks to ArmedandHammered's tireless efforts to edumacate us, however, I am intrigued. Not being a tabletop gamer, I have instead chosen to stick my head into the yawning lion's mouth that is Warhammer 40K Fluff-

Long Time Gone…Tuesday Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - July 18, 2023July 18, 2023

TRAINING CAMP DAY! TRAINING CAMP DAY! WOOOOOOO OK, so it's only rookies (and only nine teams) but FOOTBALL IS IMMINENT! We finally have some Movement in the corpse of the NFL offseason. Perhaps it's just maggots and the buildup of gasses during putrefaction, but hey! I'll take what I can get. NFL NEWS FRANCHISE

Medical Miracles and Plague Pits: Tuesday Open Thread

DFOing Good

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - September 20, 2022September 20, 2022

Well that was a wild NFL week, wasn't it? I even had to learn some new HippoSpeak to process our beloved Thing He Sent Us. The biggest "news" today is that Cole Beasley, anti-vaxx hero and utter dumbshit, is apparently taking his 'talents' to...uh...Not South Beach. Typhoid Beasley will head to

What We Drank Last Night: Someone Wet My Pants (and Tuesday Open Thread)

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - September 13, 2022September 13, 2022

Welcome again to What We Drank Last Night. In-depth beer, wine and liquor reviews are great, but the average North American has neither the time nor the attention span for "notes of smoked blueberry" and "nuances of toast." WWDLN aims to fill the void of when your at the liquor

Can I Get an Amen!?!: 2022 Buffalo Bills Preview and Tuesday Open Thread

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - September 6, 2022September 6, 2022

2021 PREDICTION: 13-4, AFC Champions 2021 REALITY: 11-6, Divisional Round loss in an instant classic It is dark times for the Buffalo Bills faithful. It's not just Eric from Lackawanna putting his injury settlement on the line picking them to go to the Super Bowl. It's everyone. The Bills are currently 7:2

Rum, Simile and the Lash: MAS*H Edition (and Tuesday Open Thread)

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 23, 2022

Casualties! That is the word of the day in the NFL. It's Roster Cut-Down Day (Part II), and in an effort to trim their bloated training camp rosters to a slim-and-trim 80 players per team, we've had a spate of cuts and injury designations. As this is only Part II, there

Rum, Simile and the Lash: The FBI Raided My Snack Drawer (and Tuesday Open Thread)

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 9, 2022August 9, 2022

I'm hesitant to write this now (late Monday night) because by the time this posts, some Weird Shit will probably have happened and people will be like "Why aren't you talking about the secret DeflateGate video they found in Donald Trump's underwear drawer?" But needs must when the Devil drives, and

Surely They Are Not All Stars? ASG Tuesday Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - July 19, 2022July 19, 2022

Good evening, reprobates and scoundrels. As absolutely nothing of professional football consequence is going on right now, it's time for our annual celebration of awkward semi-competitiveness: the MLB All-Star Game. LATE EDIT: Atlanta Falcons DT Eddie Goldman apparently woke up this morning and realized he had accidentally signed a contract with

Rum, Simile and the Lash: NFL Meats Edition (and Tuesday Open Thread)

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - July 12, 2022July 12, 2022

Good Tuesday to you, reprobates! Hopefully the young week finds you in fine spirits, or at least drinking them. ACTUAL NFL NEWS! *The Chicago Bears and New England Patriots have consummated a trade! Notable first-round bust N'Keal Harry is exiting stage-left in exchange for a 2024 seventh-round pick. IMPLICATIONS ABOUND! -This is about