Coach Carroll’s Weird Mysteries: The Nazca Lines

The Maestro - May 17, 2018May 17, 2018

Well, folks, it's the end of the line for me here. I've enjoyed my time gallivanting across the world, doing my best to discover hidden secrets and expose the deep-state globalist cabal, but other duties are calling me as the weather warms up and great minds turn their attention back

Coach Carroll’s Weird Mysteries: The Ourang Medan

The Maestro - May 10, 2018May 8, 2018

So I seriously had my hands full this week. Turns out that even with oversized tires, it's hard to drive a VW bus on water. Who knew? I was bummed to have to leave the Mystery Machine behind this week, taking a series of flights and cruise ships instead, but

Coach Carroll’s Weird Mysteries: The Kaikoura Lights

The Maestro - April 26, 2018April 25, 2018

I've got some bad juju, folks. I just know it. I'm always on edge before the draft. I dunno what it is about the draft, but I'm certain that the league's conspiring against me. The coffee always tastes weird. The bedsheets in the hotel always have a corner flipped up.

Coach Carroll’s Weird Mysteries: The Hinterkaifeck Murders

The Maestro - April 19, 2018April 19, 2018

So I had some bad luck this week - Mystery Machine broke down. Because it's a legacy Volkswagen model, and because all the goddamn Pacific Northwest hippies don't seem to wanna share their spare transmission parts, I had to get myself to Germany to get her all repaired. Fortunately for

Coach Carroll’s Weird Mysteries: The Flannan Isles Lighthouse

The Maestro - April 12, 2018April 11, 2018

I don't know, men. I just don't know. Sometimes your head goes to places where things just stop making sense after a while. You get so perplexed. You think there's something more... and you're so close to figuring it out... and yet it still... doesn't... work... anyways, enough about the

Coach Carroll’s Weird Mysteries: The Kentucky Meat Shower

The Maestro - March 15, 2018March 14, 2018

With free agency kicking off this week, seems like a lot of teams are hungry for winners - I've sent my staff criss-crossing the country to do some scouting research as we sort out our roster for the coming year, which is great because it frees up my time to

Coach Carroll’s Weird Mysteries: The Hoia Baciu Forest

The Maestro - March 8, 2018March 6, 2018

Spring is just around the corner! Seems like a fine time to dust off some of the camping gear and get prepped for when the nukes start raining down on us again. As a well-prepared conspiracy theorist, it's essential to have a bug-out bag packed at all times in order

Have Your Say: Results From Our 3rd Annual Commentist Survey

The Maestro - March 5, 2018March 1, 2018

After many hours of number-crunching, with the finest analytical minds the world has to offer working tirelessly for weeks on end to interpret the findings... we have our results from the [DFO] Commentist Survey once again, folks! Be sure to check out our top-of-the-line, A1-caliber interactive pie charts for further info

Coach Carroll’s Weird Mysteries: The Mary Celeste

The Maestro - March 1, 2018March 1, 2018

I need to start looking for new team-building activities this off-season; as coach of the Seahawks, we've done a lot of paintball, capture the flag, man-tracking, and other survival games in recent years, but I'm thinking I need to up the difficulty level... we need to take to the open

Coach Carroll’s Weird Mysteries: The Reincarnation of Omm Sety

The Maestro - February 22, 2018February 19, 2018

Oh, men. MEN. I took a trip with Coach Ryan this past week; he seemed intent on going somewhere where he could walk barefoot without having to worry about stepping on anything, so we ended up in Egypt. And hot DAMN, did I ever find a strange one this past

Take this year’s Commentist Survey, folks.

Updates

The Maestro - February 21, 2018

If you haven't already yet done so... we need #content from the #content mines!! Thanks for your input. Loading...

Have Your Say: The 3rd Annual [DFO] Commentist Survey

The Maestro - February 15, 2018February 13, 2018

It's about that time of year, folks... Once again, we'd like to get some input from you on what to do with this here website! Hopefully your input can lead to some good updates and changes for the positive at the [DFO] clubhouse - maybe some new wallpaper and carpeting