That was a great day, wasn’t it? Remember when that guy scored? I didn’t think it would happen. But that guy that got injured-that was a bad break. But at least the home team won, right? And the cheerleaders, oh the cheerleaders! That rookie is going to be something special, isn’t he? But that vet-I thought he was going to be okay but it’s obvious the years have taken their toll. And that team that is 1-0? Who could have seen that coming? So much to discuss at the water cooler tomorrow!
NYG vs Dal: Hey Romo, here’s your early Xmas present-Giants starting safeties Brandon Collins (a rookie) and Cooper Taylor ( I assume he is a developmentally-challenged hobo that hides in a shopping cart when on the sidelines). If the Cowboys D falters a bit we may get a shoot-out but the talent levels between these teams is significant. Eli likes turtles.
They don’t even have asses that look nice in silver leggings. FUCK DALLAS!!! FUCK YOU AND YOUR THIRD DOWN CONVERSION!
Drunk Zymm is fun.
If your ass doesn’t look nice in elastic silver, it just don’t look nice.
Now Pittsburgh and Green Bay? Those are some mustard colored ass leggings you can get behind. Wait, what?
Mustard is an underrated color, but never replicated in legging form. It’s just yellow. And yellow tight pants are totally hot.
Not to steal MTWV’s thing, but I am drunk. This shit is tasty:
https://www.thewhiskyexchange.com/P-4512.aspx
One of the greatest non-porn mail order sites around.
Wasabi or chili?
Wasabi
Chili.
Chili
Chili.
Is Sriracha off the table?
Giants FG: Olivia Wilde
http://40.media.tumblr.com/ca8fca6a9e7678cf1a93975fc9f98938/tumblr_ns4k7gupng1uq3x5lo1_1280.jpg
May as well closes these Texan tabs while I’m at it.
One of her legs appears to be longer than the other. So, I have a shot? No, wait, that’s just her shorts. I have a shot at her designer.
Let’s rock this sandwich together?
I have never seen a Subway employee this excited to make my sandwich.
“So what color shall we make the 50 this year boys? Rex what do think?”
“Rog, I’ll be honest, I just had a schnitzel smothered in spicy mustard and I took a runny dump in the bathroom”
“Did you flush it yet?”
“Pfft, I never flush here, you can look at it now.”
(5 minutes later)
“We got it! This is perfect”
But did the door fly open?
We all know Rex shits with the door open to assert dominance
LBJ approves!
“Hello, I’m Tony Romo”
“And I’m come from behind born in a nuclear reactor Tony Romo…”
Bizaromo!
Followed by 45 seconds of synchronized pick throwing
At least the NFC East is relevant enough to justify some of the prime time coverage this year. May the Eagles never win a Super Bowl!
At least as long as WIP exists.
Speaking as a Jets fan in Eagles territory (with traitor Eagles-fan family!) I wholeheartedly agree.
Has the nfl always been this deceptively shitty?
Seriously the entertaining night games to awful ratio seems to get higher every year
wait until PeyPey on short rest against Tiny Hands Thursday Night!
Ok just 10 points. Run the ball Garrett.
Do you think the NFL made Southwest ditch their football-themed commercials because people were questioning if that guy who got hit with the pineapple got a concussion?
So, 6+ quarters of the last 2 national games…zero combined offensive TDs.
I miss Ape. I assume he can’t visit us (openly) because the dicklickers at Uproxx made him sign some kind of non-compete.
I’m hopeful that he’s enjoying his time at the Monkey Farm upstate
He’ll be the one under Apemas X, right?
I assume he is enjoying his new found sanity.
Sausage or pepperoni?
if only one, sausage
Sausage, no question
Pepperoni is really a type of sausage
That’s a semantic dodge.
Answer the question you know is being asked.
Yeah I know, I’ll take whichever is spicier, usually the pepperoni cause people don’t do sausage right.
Giants take a commanding 4 field goal lead.
Insurmountable lead?
Where’s Flacco when you need him?
12 you say? It’s not insurmountable for Jared Fogel.
That was dismal.
JUST NOT ODB PLEEZ
When Beckham fingers a woman she climaxes in 13 seconds. Even less if he doesn’t use his pinky.
JPP says women prefer it if you don’t use the pinky
JPP’s shocker is more of an hoker, imo
JPP takes a little longer, though.
Eli looking poised, grown-up , competent and making Archie not wish he would have smothered him in his crib…. wait, what?
I will forever love Eli for his Patriots fucking over. Divison rival or no, he’s earned some love.
Funny, I just took a dump route, too.
FUCK DALLAS (and not in the good, fun way)
Didn’t some porn star try that in the ’70s?
Toni Whore-sett
Did Colinsworth just say the Giants are taking little dumps?
Like a gassy pocket poodle.
The yellow 50 is fucking stupid.
Of course he had to fellate Brady while discussing Eli.
Colin’s is drunk, there is no chance Eli knows what he’s doing
Eli learned to stay within the lines back in 2nd grade.
Aw, Eli had a BIG first down.
He gets a sticker!
http://i.imgur.com/cSprN5A
NSFW
Its September, why is the dome closed
My buddy is at the stadium. He says it was to promote noise.
Had company over for the first half, they be gone so I finally get to hang with you donut-punchers. Why do I have the feeling I’m grossly outnumbered fan-base wise?
The only thing gross about tonight is the “football” on display.
No no no friend you got it all wrong. Please take a seat
Ben Carson is actually Russell Wilson in blackface. Prove me wrong.
I’ve met Ben Carson on several occasions.
He’s even worse in person.
#SillBlessed
#SuperciliousAsshole
Spill it, Sill.
I could use them to shut ODB down.
Are you trying to tell me that Eli isn’t capable of running a complex offense? I am shocked SHOCKED!
Chris and Al are offering about as much energy at Romo.
I’m embarrassed that only when Rikki Tikki Deadly said your handle out loud today did I understand your name.
Now I’m curious, how does one say it?
Hehe, “Will Cocks”
Damn those were long dreds
Countdown to Zymm’s going full drunj
http://41.media.tumblr.com/efd3cdbb0fc6763ef8063834159061de/tumblr_ns0nrnbFyI1uq3x5lo1_1280.jpg
TASTEFUL!
Kate Upton is known for her tasteful poses.
Crosses fingers
I got better sheets.
Great contrast
Not as good of a window view though.
Move to L.A.
Excellent shutter speed.
Btw little Debbie Swiss cake rolls straight out of the freezer are really good
It’s always fun when Romo breaks some ribs, let’s all have a naked rye toast. WOO!
Naked drinking is the best drinking
Gronk sleeps with a shirt on.
Next you’ll be telling me wrestling is fake
You may want to keep a towel handy
http://41.media.tumblr.com/245ef50be98a37dfcefcd7772ba7d54d/tumblr_nsgk06ISBX1uq3x5lo1_1280.jpg
Soon Elisha will summon two she-bears to tear apart the 42 children that made fun of him for being bald.
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/wong/badass4.jpg
So the NFC East is a really good division?
Ebola is a really good disease.
By that logic, the AFC east is a MONSTER. Go Jets!
(Oh god we are so doomed)
Bob Costa is the Dick Clark of balls that aren’t New Years ones.
I admit, I’m watching Ninja Warrior tomorrow. Even though the Japanese one is a lot better, but that’s because people speaking in Japanese makes everything better.
Where does the Japanese versión air?
I don’t know anymore. Back when G4/Tech TV was a thing I watched Ninja Warrior and UK Robot Wars. And it was wonderful.
Counterpoint: English dub over japanese is pretty awesome
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-Ab05WTG8M
I miss that show too.
I hope Hines’ CTE kicks in on the air.
I’m really surprised he’s as lucid as he is. And that’s coming from a Steelers fan.
No better way to celebrat a derptastrophe than with Booberry.