Man, I love the fact that there is football on Thursday nights. It’s not as though I expect a good game or anything like that. (Giants/Washington next week folks!) Let me back up a bit-Mondays I tend to drag my ass at work a bit but I get through it knowing that I’ve got a game later that evening. Tuesday is meh. Wednesday at noon I can say to myself, “I’m half-way through the damn week”. Thursday is a busy, pulled-in-many- directions day but I know that my beloved is not far away. And Friday is Friday. What I’m trying to say is that work has become a grind, a god-awful “What am I here for, What are my goals and why are they important?” purpose-emptying, shoulder-sagging, sigh of resignation grind. You youngerlings have this to look forward to-Yay!
Den at KC: It’s The Battle of the Noodly Appendages! You want shovel passes? You got ’em! Do you want quick outs, slants, checkdowns and bubble screens? It’s all here folks. You can’t get that on the the History Channel. Wait there’s more-after all that you may get a long(ish) looping parabolic toss that drops into the mitts of the receiver or the guy that’s defending him. Peyton strikes me as fragile-I wonder if he gets through the season. He doesn’t even have the mobility to sidestep pass rushers any more. His last six games he’s tossed 4 TD’s and had 7 intercepts. Head to head I think I’d take Smith-at least the guy can bail out of the pocket and run for yardage. Andy Reid’s Chiefs are favoured by 3 wetnaps and they sure as hell are going to get a WR TD tonight because. Just…because. CJ’s toe is banged up and Ronnie Lott suggested he just cut it off and, “get the hell back in there, pansy”. All-Pro safety TJ Ward is back after a one game suspension for, I don’t know, taking an extra butter tart at the last player’s union meeting? He gets to cover Kelce. Defence And Ball Control For Everyone, Excitement For None!
“Its Gary Kubiak’s Offense. Peyton Manning’s no longer running it.”
Well there’s your problem right there!
It really doesn’t feel like football without having Trent Dilfer driving me into self mutilation by his color commentating.
There is no Spanish option tonight. Que lastima!
LAUNCH POINTS!!!
Some day, years from now after DFO gets bought out by Gawker and degenerates and there is a Second Exodus and the new WordPress site is called “Pants Fly Off” or something similar, the young’uns will gather ’round the campfire to hear tales of the legendary Otto Man and how he would visit all the good boys and girls with gifts of ribs. Then one little child will pipe up and say, “I don’t believe in Otto Man; he’s made up.”
Then Otto Man will appear and chainsaw the kid’s head from his shoulders.
Dammit, “Like” button disappeared again.
+1
Well played sir. Like button missing
Pulling into Union Station, only 30 minutes late. Huge improvement for Amtrak. Now it’s time to see how badly the cab line fucks me for kickoff.
If only PK was there to complain.
But how was the coffee?
I left C.J. Anderson in my lineup. Am I just stupid-ish, or am I a complete moron?
Kids have pizza I have bourbon, it’s a race to see who passes out first.
OK, what did you put in the pizza?
I like those odds.
/what?
http://i.imgur.com/7Zics.gif
http://38.media.tumblr.com/d32bf77bbb97249c8a9110239f9d10bd/tumblr_nuqzkhklma1uqpfz5o2_500.gif
This montage is a car crash
I miss Captain Lispy.
I wonder what they’re doing in Hungary right now…
Taking lessons from Sheriff Joe.
tripping the refugee fantastic
I don’t like Thursday NFL and in protest I’ll………………….. watch it almost every Thursday.
I don’t think the Donks will win this one; KC is a good team and weird shit always happens in KC and with the exception of Shannon Sharpe it rarely happens in favor of the horsies. If you like defense, which I do, it should be a good close game.
Here is a lack of pants and I will pursue the same course of action.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/1a373a27d44856a301fee5186a848e27/tumblr_mrveo2912L1qd6umno1_1280.jpg
Denver looked like absolute shit last week. I am off Denver and Baltimore til I see something to change my mind
What the hell is that?!
Ah, Duck Tape on the outside of the car. When you tell the world “Screw it. I don’t care what you think of my car.”
In West Virginia (and many parts of East Virginia) that’s a symbol of wealth and power.
http://cdn3.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/YPch04NR-yJvOzMwiPd6ZHXiAEg=/cdn0.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/2506098/kcjerk.0.gif
http://i.imgur.com/0zC5e11.webm
Holy fuck. Was not expecting that. Good on you, sir.
THAT is some funny shit.
Wouldn’t be awesome if Otto Man suddenly showed up to support his team on the rivebrog?
We can only hope and dream.
My brothers dog is up for him drinking way too much, having someone drive his idiot ass home, losing all his clothes then cuddling up with him anyways. My dog spent all day with me and on my bed and ditched me the moment I layed down next to him for a nap.
Are you sure its not a cat?
I forgot one thing about my story about my brother. Living room pass out, didn’t wake up until someone woke him up. I want to say 3 times to be safe but probably more than that.
Its thhhursday I always mitthhh Mike Mayock
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http://cdn.barstoolsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/17/Screen-Shot-2015-09-17-at-10.22.18-AM.png?89e1ad
Chiefs? CHIEFS?! THEY’RE BEING DISRESPECTFUL TO NATIVE AMERICANS, BRO!!!
Um, not quite, but keep up the narrative.
KELCE WOO
Deion just picked Denver to win, 17-10, and says, “Peyton…. Is BALLING tonight.”
I’m ignoring the easy jokes regarding Peyton & Deion getting down n dirty, as well as Manningbot knowing why we cry (“but it is something he can never do”) and instead focus on Primetime somehow equating Denver scoring 17 points meaning Peyton will be playing some kind of incredible football. Wouldn’t you think Denver only scoring 17 is an indicator of Manningbot falling off, perhaps ready to be placed in the Great Junkyard in the Sky? I mean, seriously, Fitzpatrick scored 17 points, and he was not, in any way, “balling” last Sunday.
In short, fuck you, Deion.
Please let me start teh happy drinking, PeyPep ‘n’ Palz…
I’m still working.
No football and no beer make TPS go something, something…
Eric Berry : A much more likable cancer survivor than Lance Armstrong. If you can beat horse-fear, you can beat anything!
I get to wake up early tomorrow to sit down with a manager that I have worked with for less than 20 days, for a yearly performance review.
Highlights to be covered most likely will be my recent emotional breakdown.
Already saw that I was getting a “satisfactory” ranking (the lowest of three). Glad to know I gave up my week off for Thanksgiving to drive to Detroit, work 167 hours in the course of a 13 day period, and eat at a fucking soup kitchen for Thanksgiving rather than spend time with my family for a shit rank and no pay raise.
Satisfactory is the WORST rating you can get?
Yeah. Its “satisfactory”, “Above Average”, and “Exceptional”.
I’m getting the same rating as the idiots that site in the office and make autocad drawing mistakes 40 hours a week.
Just do what I do. Nod with every false B.S. they say and end saying “Thank you” with the same inflection when you say “Fuck you”.
Our HR believes that I should be able to work on medium and high voltage, at extreme heights, while on Valium and Xanax.
Oh and I just got volunteered to give customer training at the end of October. My one supervisor is telling me this and ends with “and if you could get that tick of yours to stop, it would be great”.
I swear to god its like I am on the set of Office Space.
Sounds like it’s time to stop trying/caring.
It’s times like this that I’m glad I have a job with virtually no responsibility. Sucks being poor, but my stress levels are nil.
DraftKings is majority-owned by FOX and FanDuel is part-owned by the Koch brothers.
KEEP YOUR MONEY
No wonder they seemed so creepy. And no wonder they are “legal” for no valid reason.
But, all it takes is $14 trillion to make $1 million!
I’m waiting for a Republican to say “the Democrats have all of Hollywood. Why can’t we have two?”
Wait a minute. I’m on vacation. I don’t work tomorrow.
Why am I not drunk now?
*shrug*
Due to rain canceling my tennis lesson, I have already consumed my allocated football snacks and am a good halfway into my football bottle of Cava. Damn you skywater!
“Blame it on the rain.”
-Milli Vanilli
So, do we have a Chiefs WR TD death pool, either by game or by person? It could happen against the Bears, right?
Does a Maclin end-around count?
Dear Sexbag, how do I get my girlfriend to give me a Maclin end-around?
Very carefully.
Am I the only one watching Star Wars with his kids tonight?
At least until the game starts
Worldwide? Probably not.
How many people watch Star Wars with his kids?
My progeny were no more interested in Star Wars than I am.
COME AT ME, BRO!
“I have”
-Marc Trestman
I’m watching Star Wars with someone else’s kids. That’s close.
That explains the Amber Alert today.
I guess making them watch The Phantom Menace constitutes child abuse. [shrugs shoulders]
EVERYONE PAY ATTENTION TO THE SKILL BASED GAMBLING ADVICE
Clemson/Louisville is making me optimistic that NC State can finish 2nd in the ACC’s Atlantic Division.
Yes, that sentence is as pathetic as it seems.
GOWLS
GO CHEFS
http://www.oafe.net/yo/art/mupccsc4.jpg
http://www.gunaxin.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/7-swedish-chef-775313-560×496.jpg
Great Googily Moogily
If there’s still a tie after overtime has been exhausted, I propose the game be decided by a dance-off/TD-celebration contest.
“Isn’t that how it’s settled?” -Donovan McNabb
Andy Reid has to consume one-third of Jack Del Rio within five minutes, or the Broncos win.
Hell yes.
http://s3d2.turboimagehost.com/t1/8820622_turk.gif
Settle it with an electromyogram of the starting quarterbacks.
Run the ball with some persistency.
well said, coach
A little perspicacity wouldn’t hurt either.
“Name an animal people eat, that doesn’t eat people.”
http://cdn.pastemagazine.com/www/articles/DragonGuess.gif
I call BS, pigs totally eat people.
Frank Reynolds concurs.
They clearly didn’t ask Mr. Wu.
“Opossum” – Arkansas
More annoying Boomer, Esiason or Berman?
It’s definitely the Boomer that was with leather.
WHOOOOOOP!!!1! In a landslide.
Evening, fellas. Now, for the question of the week: who will be the Alex Smithiest game manager of the week? My money is on Peyton Manning.
“Don’t know what yer watchin’, I see plenty of slants on The History Channel.” –B. Parcells
Nah, the History Channel is all aliens now, there’s nothing about building railroads out West.
There’s Swamp People too.
Let’s go Tiny Hands! Let’s go Kool-Reid!
I don’t actually hate Eagles fans, yet I really want Andy Reid to win a Super Bowl with Notheagles.
I didn’t hate Eagles fans, either. Then I heard WIP…
You can’t judge a fan base by their radio station, that’s like judging all men by MRA psychos, or all women by Sarah Palin.
Oh, no Dok.
WIP is the most monstrous thing that is, was, or ever will be.
The Dirty Thirty…/shivers
“Name a snack you bring on a long car trip”
“Chicken”
“hitchhikers”
I approved this post on behalf of Ted Bundy’s ghost.
/shit, forgot that he never ate anybody, just had a wank every now and then.
To be fair, they ask 100 people who also aren’t very smart.
“Cats.”
The Nightman.
Seriously, tax FICA to the limit of income.
By 00:02 1 Jan 2016 Bill Gates will have hit the cap on his FICA contribution.
Can’t we even get him to pay for an entire day?
Like many of you, I believe Peyton will fall apart this season. Unlike many of you, I missed a fantasy draft where a buddy of mine picked my team for me…and he thought he did me a solid by grabbing Pey-Pey pretty early for me.
That first panel says it all about Manningbot 2015:
http://gocomics.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341c5f3053ef01b7c6f8930d970b-pi
Holy shit Family Feud is an amazing show. So much better than TNF pre-game. Everyone, name something that starts with “Tax”!
tax dat ass?
Tax FICA to the limit of income.
Something people search for in the dark and no one said “The Bathroom” or “My Beer”…this show is rigged.
Actually, no one said “a condom” either, which explains why they have a large enough family to go on family feud.
I’m watching last night “You’re The Worst” rather than the pre-game. Aya Cash can make you forget about terrible pregame shows for a while.
Light urple?
are there any prop bets on *which* body part falls off of Peyton tonight?
“Processor” is the Vegas favorite.
I always assumed he ran on vacuum tubes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqWuwZElgDg
Hola. ¿Cómo te va?
Meh.
I will here reiterate my call for a 2-bye, 18 week regular season.
All Thursday games would be played on maximum rest and would become the best matchup of the week instead of the worst.
I love Thursday football too. I just want it to be better.
Here’s some “good” news: Jung Ho Kang is out for the season with a broken tibia and torn MCL. Hurrah.
Things fall apart et&c, et&c…
I’m currently in the quiet car of an Amtrak hoping I can be in front of my TV by kickoff. I’m sure Murphy’s law will kick in at some point within the hour.
Spill scalding hot coffee on PK’s face and laptop for us.
Where? WHERE?
Face and laptop, duh.
Where are you geographically?
Returning to our nation’s capital from the Big Apple.
And I knew what you meant, just having a hard time letting go of being an ass today.
Touch.
I’m just happy to know someone else who shares the pain of the NE Corridor.
‘Tis a bitch. I think I’ve had an ontime departure twice in the 11 years I’ve lived out here.
I have to go all the way to Leesburg when I’m in town. It’s a goddamn nightmare. Three weeks in a row now.
hey guys
Guten abend.
yo
sup
i have eggplant
i dont really like eggplant