Your Late Afternoon Game Thread (No Pants Allowed)

Mia @ Jax: Oh, to be in Florida watching a football game. Eh, my couch is just as nice. Miami gutted out a win last week while the Jags QB Bortled his way to just over 50% passing, 2 intercepts and 5 sackeroos. Jax is worried about a man named Suh. As well they should-I’ve no doubt that he will tear the head off an opposing O-lineman, stuff it down his pants and say “get a load of THIS package” to the Jax cheerleaders, causing several of them to faint. It’s bound to happen.

Bal @ Oak: The Suggster is gone for the year. He’s off to winter in Paris I’m told. This game has ugly written all over it. Raven rook DE Davis graded out as the 2nd best pass rusher at his position last week. The only guy in front of him was Aniston-lover JJ Watt. Raiders are missing their starting safeties for this game. That doesn’t sound good. A film guy studied Cooper in his pro debut (5 grabs for 47) and says he mitted 5 of 6 catchable balls and was open on 67% of the routes he ran. Film guy says there’s only so much you can do with Carr as your QB.

Dal @ Phi: Dez is gone for 4 months so now it’s Cole Beasley’s Time To Shine! And he’s gonna shine like a crazy diamond up until the moment he’s concussed. The Cowboys have won their last three in Philly. Murray ran for 9 whole yards last week. If you take away the 2 TDs he scored that’s one hell of a lousy day. Byron Maxwell, DB for the Eagles gets to cover not Julio Jones (that was last week) and not Dez Bryant this week. He is listed as “hopeful” with a shattered ego for this game.

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synapticmisfires

As God-Awful as that game has been, imagine what it’ll be like if Brandon Weeden comes in.

King Hippo

The best thing about 20-team leagues is that people will HAVE TO PLAY emu and Doopy Pantz.

Spur

Pray for Romo
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Thrillhouse

Brandon Weeden? Hoo boy, this game just got a lot worse.

Doktor Zymm

Two games into the season? Yeah, that’s about right for a Romo injury. Has he ever played a season where he didn’t crack some ribs or otherwise play with some sort of really painful but not actually debilitating injury?

John Difool

ROMOBYL, GLORIOUS MILK OF ROMOBYL FROM THE GODS

Spur

FUCK

fleshwound_NPG

Welcome back, Romobyl.
Goodbye, Romobyl.

JustStopDude

Oh Romo…you so funny!

Oh wait…he is hurt. That’s bad…who the fuck do the Cowboys have as a backup? Please tell me its Jerry Jone’s retarded grandson.

Senor Weaselo

It’s the Doop!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Jerry Jone’s retarded grandson; great FF name.

Romonobyl

Oh fuck me……

Thrillhouse

Welp, there goes Romo.

King Hippo

ENTER THE DOOPY PANTZ!!!!

Dick E. Phuck

The Doop-Tang Clan.

fleshwound_NPG

YES, WHAT THIS SHITTY GAME WAS MISSING…DOOP!

Sill Bimmons

ROMONOBYL

litre_cola

Tony broken

Gratliff

YES A THING! A GOOD THING! Oh. Romo’s hurt? A GREAT THING!

Doktor Zymm

That’s the Romo I enjoy!

Spur

Romo Bomb

King Hippo

Need this Raiders win to take out half my Loser pool, and mulligan my entire Survivor pool.

I believe in you, David Carr!!!

Or Derek, whatever the fuck your name is.

Sill Bimmons

We’ll never forget you, rhino…

blaxabbath

Haven’t been watching since PHI/DAL kickoff. Trying to get up this adhesive shit off the concrete floor from the carpet in the guest room we removed. What’s the story on the field?

Romonobyl

Best to keep working…

JustStopDude

Jesus Christ…there are a lot of penalties in this Ravens-Raiders game….

I’m sure you are all surprised…

tundrajim

Are you including the probation revocations that are going to be issued tomorrow?

Romonobyl

The Flag Gods will sleep well tonight.

bloodyhandedgod

So this is what flag football looks like.

I can’t wait to find out Chip’s uncle was the Santa Claus booed by Eagles fans.

Dick E. Phuck

It’s like the Cowboys are a wind turbine and the Eagles are flying right into it.

John Difool

Ladies and gentlemen, your Sam Bradford led Eagles….

http://www.ejumpcut.org/archive/jc45.2002/kavoori/crossdressingimages/DARK3.jpg

Gratliff

Fuck this. Every time I bitched about losing a big name on the offense, and people told me I didn’t know what I was talking about. Now I get to be right and watch this shittastic clusterfuck.

Senor Weaselo

Jaguar receivers taking each other out. That’s not quite peak Jaguars but it’s a start.

Sharkbait

Still better than the Eagles

Sill Bimmons

How many Bortles would a Blake Bortles blort if a Blake Bortles could blort Bortles?

Spur

Eagles fans really need Santa to diffuse their anger

Sill Bimmons

Pope’s coming this week!

Doktor Zymm

Hrm, which of the various shitshows should I watch? Purple birds or green birds?

nomonkeyfun

So, I guess he Eagles should have kept Foles…thinks back to Rams game…

Yeah they should have kept Foles.

Dick E. Phuck

I have Latavius Murray, so I’m not really upset.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Philly hasn’t seen a line retreat this much, since the American Revolution.

Gratliff

Nice of the boys to Weekend At Bernie’s the kicker there.

synapticmisfires

So my fantasy team is involved its own Cowboys-Eagles level derptitude. My opponent and I have 7 players that have combined for less than 10 fantasy points.

Spur

I cringe every time Bradford takes hits.

fleshwound_NPG

Shit, the Cowboys might be awesome.

Awesome, the Eagles might be shit.

Dick E. Phuck

Why all the violence against punters? #NoMore

Sharkbait

#Punterslivesmatter

Romonobyl

#PUNTERSLIVESMATTER!

nomonkeyfun

#PuntesLifeMatters

Spur

If the kicker is “defenseless” then how can he go after someone and try and tackle him???

King Hippo

Somebody remind the Dolphins they fucking have a Lamar Miller. Goddamnit.

bloodyhandedgod

Mike Perreira is a goof.

synapticmisfires

So not only are the Eagles losing, but they just lost the one player who has been consistent today.

Sill Bimmons

“We’ve got a punter down. I repeat, a punter is down.”

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/ks7gsyah7PM/hqdefault.jpg

Sharkbait

You suck Chip Kelly. This is somehow your fault.

Spur

Someone get Sweet Dee out there

Gratliff

Holy shit. It may not be a blindside hit, but it was fucking assault.

Thrillhouse

Well, I don’t think the Eagles punter will be kicking much more today.

Spur

Wow. Donnie Jones is dead.

...

I just turned on the Iggles-Cowboys game and saw that blocked punt. Is this how the whole game has gone?

Romonobyl

That was the most offense for the entire game, from either team.

Spanky Datass

If you mean is there a penalty flag on every play then yes, that’s how the whole game has gone so far.

fleshwound_NPG

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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