Your “Pants On the Floor Or There’s The Door” Thursday Night Open Thread

Hello fellow football lovers. We meet again. Have you been well? Oh, that’s good to hear. How about that weather, huh? Some places it’s nice and other places it’s not. Go figure! Enough of the pasty white small talk, large muscular men will be crashing into each other. Let’s watch together…

Bal @ Pit: I imagine Tomlin is at this very moment begging Vick to just “play the game”, don’t try to do anything stupid, er, don’t try to be a difference-maker. Those days are long gone and just forget about this probably being your last bit of time in the spotlight. It happens to everyone! Last year Vick slorped together a 53% completion rate, a 5 yds per pass average and a not-sparkling 21.4 QBR (last in the league!). The key for the Steelers is getting Brown in space so that he can make a play and to let Bell careen through/off defenders and move the ball. Despite their troubles the Ravens haven’t allowed a 100 yard rusher in 29 straight games so it may be an uphill battle for Bell. The Flacco will of course be his usual nonpareil self, that’s for damn sure. I think Smith will get his and a TD because it is always a mistake to count that guy out. Another reason Smith will be relevant is because the other WR’s are not. They are Marlon Brown and Kamar Aiken.

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ssi_bulldawg

I’m going to start writing my congressman to see if fanduel is illegal, because those fucking commercials are driving me insane. It has to be illegal, right? Please!?!?

King Hippo

This should be the one good aspect of having a Republican congressman. I should tell him Jeebus spoke to me in a dream about it.

blordinaryfagicmox

The cone of silence, early days.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes, the prototype.

Dunstan

Look, it was just one fart, you don’t have to make such a big deal of it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That was a stupid fart joke, so obviously I enjoyed it immensely.

Dunstan

I’ve got another for you, then:

A young Chris Berman practices sniffing his own farts.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I believe that is more of a fact than a true joke.

entropy

“Replay every game of the 2015 NFL Season…”

WHY?! WHAT THE FUCK DID WE EVER DO TO *YOU,* NFL?!?!!!!

Mother Puncher

“Relive 2015’s greatest moments. Like CJ Anderson getting stopped at the line! Or Jeremy Hill getting stopped at the line!”

entropy

EVERY 6-3 “DEFENSIVE STRUGGLE,” right there, to remind you this game has turned to shit!!

King Hippo

we know what we did ,, smgdh

Sill Bimmons

I’m not sure GMC really understands their demo.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

I love that this just appeared on my screen.

nomonkeyfun

I’d like to give Elmo an Eskimo kiss.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Somehow, Last Witch Hunter looks both ridiculous and I want to see it. Seems like a DFO Movie Review candidate.

entropy

Looks like John Carpenter’s Vampires with better effects and worse actors.

Sharkbait

“DFO sneaks in a flask and watches a movie”

Mother Puncher

I would never see a movie just because Elijah Wood is in it, but him and VD together has potential

Smithchez

Still-can’t-feel-my-goddamn-hands

King Hippo

We can has footbaw game??

Sharkbait

No. We can’t have nice games.

King Hippo

THE BEATINGS WILL CONTINUE UNTIL MORALE IMPROVES

Sill Bimmons

WAY TO NUT UP A GET A STOP WOO

Mother Puncher

Lost to ruben studdard down!

litre_cola

ELITE PASS. honestly

makeitsnowondem

That throw was elite as hell.

entropy

Can’t be. Wasn’t intercepted.

makeitsnowondem

OR, it was intended for the defensive back and it was intercepted.

entropy

Point to you.

Senor Weaselo

Today I learned that two obscure terms for a group of them is an unkindness or conspiracy of ravens. WHY HAVE WE NOT USED THIS?

Dunstan

You need two or more for a conspiracy of ravens, but an obstruction of justice only requires one.

nomonkeyfun

Hey look, it’s the Ben’s next “date”

ssi_bulldawg

That assumes she’s headed to the bathroom

makeitsnowondem

Fuck you, Forsett. Can’t even run past Mike Mitchell. My worst draft pick this year.

Sill Bimmons

Nope, the toast can never be done during a commercial.

entropy

Raven-on-Raven late hit!

makeitsnowondem

Oh, sure, a darker and edgier Steve Jobs reboot where they turn the beloved genius into a cutthroat asshole.

John Difool

And use a Limey to do it.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

At least they cast an actor this time.

Sill Bimmons

That field is still a disgrace.

blordinaryfagicmox

Did they cast the person who looked the least like Jobs?

Mother Puncher

To be fair, that’s what Steve Jobs thought he looked like.

entropy

Next version stars Will Smiff.

Sharkbait

Fuck Steve Jobs 2: Electric Boogaloo

Wakezilla

Yup. It looks like a steaming pile of made for tv shit.

entropy

Kid learned to talk awful fuckin fast if they’re “mom and dad” 36 hours after birth.

Recovery Whiskey

Hey thats my favorite vending machine

Sill Bimmons

SIX MINUTES OF COMPETENCE

Senor Weaselo

You guys, I’m starting to think the Ravens are not very good.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Webb kinda overshot his mark on the flyby, eh?

Back the into the portolet, my boy.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

I love that Heyward Bey missed that ball, but Vick threw it so hard it was inside of him.

Smithchez

Darius Heyward-Bey? Are you fucking kidding me, Vick?

Sill Bimmons

WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HEYWARD-BEY

entropy

So, basically, the entire playbook, Phil?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Fine. You are an asshole

::scrolls::

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m sure you are sexy to someone, but if you are going to throw an insult at my joke, then I can see why.

Wakezilla

I see Mike VIck is using the 04 Madden Playbook on how best to use him.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

That looked like a choreographed dance number.

makeitsnowondem

VICKARM

Dunstan

Woof.

Wakezilla

JOE FLACCO, TONIGHT I CALL HIM JUSTIN TRUDEAU BECAUSE HE JUST DOESN’T LOOK READY.

(NICE HAIR THOUGH).

Smithchez

“Sketch from 1980’s SNL plastered over a commercial we already did with regular people” simply cannot be a winning advertising strategy, can it?

Dunstan

“Oh, I don’t know. Who offers a discount double-check to make sure you didn’t miss any discounts? Could it be….

STATE FARM????”

makeitsnowondem

“Uh… khakis?”

“Okay, someone find my brother and take away his headset.”

Senor Weaselo

POWERRRRRR!
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008KNUA2W/ref=dm_dp_trk1
(It’s a loop of Clarkson saying it)

Sharkbait

My fiance started Flacco. She is disappointed in the eliteness

Mother Puncher

I’m too young to remember the coneheads. What was the joke?

theeWeeBabySeamus

That was pretty much it. Consider yourself caught up.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Flacco is a difference maker.
That contract just keeps looking betterer and betterer.

Smithchez

He floated the fumble!

entropy

Elite fumble!

makeitsnowondem

Elite knee volley by Flacco. He’s really on top form.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

FLUMBLE

entropy

Well done.

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