“Late in the evening the American Football Fan, awash in a sea of carbohydrates and intoxicants, settles down for the evening. Its energy is spent and the couch sings its siren song-few can resist. Those that have already found their way back to their lair begin to go over-in what could be called their minds-the things they’ll type on blog sites or shout into phones during call-in shows the following day.”
Dal @ NO: Good news for the Cowboys-Ingram is not Devonta Freeman and Spiller isn’t anyone at this point. Dallas should be able to put Taylor Swift behind this O-Line and get 75 yards out of her. The only concern would be the song she inevitably comes out with detailing the lack of support Weeden gave her and that she has to move on now. Can you see the despair in Brees’ eyes as he surveys the diseased deathscape that is the Saints roster? The one that reminds him of New Orleans post-Katrina?
I was briefly a cheerleader when I was in single digits. We had no idea what to cheer when. Too bad we were too young to say FUCK YOU DALLAS!
one is NEVAR too young to say that
You’re never too young to say “Fuck Dallas” ….ever heard of the term “Goo-Goo Ga-Ga”? That’s babyspeak for “Fuck Dallas”
I signed up for cheerleading tryouts once in high school. I thought I was cleverly exposing a hypocritical bias against boys because I wasn’t sharp enough to recognize my school was explicitly in favor of traditional gender roles across the board.
THEY KILLED JACK KENNEDY
What, no TV timeout?
First half thus far:
http://38.media.tumblr.com/a6953d23ee65e5e4c4bd9556f8de9ec7/tumblr_npv96phHMc1uuj1e7o1_400.gif
I really want to see the end of that.
If a pantz doops in the woods, can it truly be said to have dooped?
Michael Sam knows the answer to this question, I’m sure.
Only if it’s a Catholic bear.
Off topic, anyone here watch Scream Queens? Someone recommended it.
I haven’t seen it yet, but I’m familiar enough with Ryan Murphy’s work to tell you it’ll be really good until he starts making his characters do insane and inexplicable shit to advance the plotline of the day.
“close to a facemask”
Uh, Al? He hit the QB in the head. It’s right there on the replay.
Pantz Dooped…
Heeee.
I don’t hate Doopy Pants, but I do hate the Cowboys, so yeah, SACK SACK SACK HAHAHAHAHAHA
Honestly, Wash from Firefly isn’t having that bad a game.
I am a doop on the wind.
/refs blow call
“Ah, curse your sudden but enivtitable betrayal!”
DOOP HAWK DOWN
If all you’re doing is short routes all day, Brandon Weeden is your QB.
That’s why next Sunday vs. New England is going to be hysterical
SQUID INK IN YOUR HALLOWEEN WHOPPERS BROS
http://www.markmode.com/letsjapan/wp-content/uploads/image/burger-king-squid-ink-ikasumi_burger_japan
Squid ink is the shit. Doing squid ink pasta for dinner for dinner tomorrow
http://i.ytimg.com/vi/dB7kUvQfbi4/hqdefault.jpg
HAIL DOOPY!
Has Sean Lee finished a game this year?
He almost made it through Candy Land once.
He’s finished for this one.
Wait Golf is still happening this late in the year.
I make my living in the golf business, and even I don’t care about the President’s Cup.
good avatar then. doooonnnnntttt caaaarrreeeee
Freedom Hikers. Verily, yuppie douches taking hikes on the weekend before returning to the suburbs to drink Michelob Ultra are true champions of freedom.
Every time I see that commercial I wait in vain for a bear to eat those smarmy fuckers.
Can someone tell me how The Saints let their cap situation get so fucked up that anyone that can make play had to be let go?
Bounty-gate hangover?
2 bottles of cava, 2 Manhattans, a paleo muffin, a piece of string cheese, maybe a Kind bar. The majority of my calories today are booze, WOO SUNDAY FUCK THE COWBOYS.
Hope the hangover will be worth it.
There’s a reason I don’t do extra stuff Monday mornings. I’m pretty much aight by 7 a.m.
Hangover? Zymm’s still in warm-up phase.
Holy shit ALS can eat a bag of dicks.
ALL THE DICKS
I think it’s tied with Alzheimer’s as the shittiest disease in existence.
Both are on my “immediate suicide upon diagnosis” list
New Lily ad:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AlcjZhIFNao/VXk5TI12lpI/AAAAAAAAc3E/1A6M8Dl63K8/s1600/MIlana%2BVayntrub%2BWCW%2B6.17.15.jpg
Looks kinda skinny to me.
She’s filled out with age. Unlike me of course.
Uh who d f is that?
Sweet Christmas!
I just don’t see it. Dunno what’s wrong with me, probably all teh gay marriage.
I think she likes me.
I would let Lily do totally illegal things to me should the opportunity arise.
So looking forward to The Patriots tearing off Witten’s jersey next week and PHEEEEEEL & JEEEEEEEM saying what good no calls those were despite Witten’s shoulder being dislocated
That’d be fucking great. Let’s get Witten injured too. Why don’t you come over and kill my cat while you’re at it?
I was in Boston two weeks ago. Sorry but we all know The Pats never hold
BLACK MAN WITH HARMONICA AND SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT! DRINK!!!
You left out the overalls.
Indeed I did. The production assistant probably requested he put ’em on all special-like, too.
Holy shit, dat chick.
http://i0.wp.com/ryanbush.biz/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/JerryJonesTroyAikman1994Thanksgiving-e1431714317646.jpg
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/1385977/sprockets-o.gif
That is not a nun’s laugh.
THAT IS A WHORE’S LAUGH!!
Weeden…
0.1% pantz
99.9% doop…
“When Browner jammed Kearse at the line to set up Butler for that interception, it was like Gretzky feeding Messier in hockey.”
No it wasn’t, you fucking twat. Gretzky was 1st-line centre for the Oilers, Messier was 2nd. They didn’t play together, save for scant time on the PP. Shut the fuck up.
This X a million.
At least someone is talking hockey.
/will be drunk for that on Wednesday
Can’t wait.
I thought the same thing. The proper analogy would be Magic and Kareem running the pick & roll. Or Gretzky behind the net setting up one of the other forwards.
Jesus saves…
But Gretzky swoops in and scores on the rebound!
There has been no season where Romo hasn’t been out or played with a horrible injury. I see no reason why Weeden couldn’t use a couple busted ribs. To build character.
I love when running backs get thrown down while moving their feet and expect a flag. Stop moving your feet and they won’t do that.
“One of the things I thought the Cowboys really missed last week…”
you mean ‘other than Julio Jones’ Cris?
And Devonta Freeman
Jeebus, Saints. Just blow all the goats while you’re at it.
OOOOOWWWWWWWOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT I AM SICK OF HEARING ABOUT THAT PLAY I AM WILLING THEM TO BURST INTO FLAMES HATERAGEHATEHATE
I truly want to murder Pete Carroll. Thank you asshole.
I bet Browner is thinking, shit they never called these last year.
” I wear a full uniform,pads and a helmet while chopping wood, ’cause that what us Texas lumberjacks do down here in Houston while taking down those Redwoods….. plus, you’d have no idea who I was if I didn’t.”
J.J. Watt
Alright seriously…working for a Japanese company sucks ass.
I’ve gotten about 20 emails about a motor order in which I placed the wrong division code. I should have caught it and I didn’t, though in my defense, this was the very first order I have ever made.
I have since had every single fucking engineer in the Tokyo office passively explain to me that the motor I ordered for an oil and gas company was slated to go to an end user for a cement plant in Chile. So it should not have gone to the Oil/Gas division, but the General Industries division.
Its the SAME FUCKING PRODUCTION FACILITY!
And since Japan has keeps sending these emails, I keep getting emails from the US office about this.
Fucking Christ I really wish any one of the companies I have interviewed with would contact me with another job.
NO SMIRRRRRRRRRRRE
My favorite thing is the Japanese office keeps telling me to go through the kid they sent. The poor kid speaks zero fucking English, I speak zero fucking Japanese, and I suspect this kid doesn’t actually know anything about motors.
I dare you to place the same order first thing Monday morning.
Oh our ordering system is a nightmare. Its Oracle hell. What should take me 20 minutes to do is usually a 4 hour nightmare.
One of my favorite things is the Japanese office takes the system down for maintenance 2 hours a day….from 10am to noon everyday. So unless I get everything done in the morning, I got to work through lunch to try and get shit done.
I’m pretty happy an engineering position for Toshiba motors fell through
Yeah…I love having to use a fucking fax machine for shit because Japan likes them for some fucking insane reason.
Honest question…has any single person here used a fax machine in the last 10 years?
Just say “Pearl Harbor.” They’ll get the drift.
I was suppose to go to Japan for training. I was told I had to cover up all my military tats because I was going in August or whatever.
It never happened because I ended up spending the weekend in the nuthouse after a breakdown.
Well that’s a pleasant story. Hope you got better.
Eh…I got good days and bad.
It was kind of bullshit anyway. Honestly, once you end up in a hospital, its a fucking nightmare trying to get out. You basically just get fucked with non-stop.
I had a better time in doing brig time in the navy than a weekend in a hospital against my will”. I walked out of there drugged out of my fucking mind, stuck in a state I didn’t live in. I had to get a coworker to effectively sign me out.
The funny part, the dude couldn’t speak English. The whole week was fucking surreal.
Brandon Browner, holding a receiver? This is a night of firsts, I must say.
Gee a penalty on Browner? Shocking.
So wait…Weeden himself believed he was better at baseball than football….and never made it further than Single A ball. Naturally the Browns still used a 1st rounder on him. For the life of me I can’t figure why that franchise struggles.
I’m ashamed to say I saw Weeden pitch in single A Tampa while on vacation.
Without police procedural dramas, large chunks of our air time would just be test patterns.
Or reality shows
The Houston Texans season outlook explained by J.J. Watt chopping wood in a forest:
J.J. Watt: /chops wood
Houston Texans Facilities Manager: J.J., man, you don’t have to do that. We have an amazingly efficient full-building HVAC system that is monitored in real time. We don’t use wood anymore.
Watt: /keeps chopping wood
Wednesday on NBC three shows that no one under 30 watches
This week on “The Mysteries of Laura”: How is this show still on?
Maybe if JJ Watt had some friends with a bitchin’ new wood-splitter his network wouldn’t be all jammed up from splitting one log over and over again.
Chopping wood in full pads…nothing weird about that.
J J WATT IS MY COMMUNICATIONS MENTOR
Who watched Cardinals/Rams? WTF happened?
JJ Watt will never be done chopping wood.
Sean Lee might want to consider a desk job before he goes all purple monkey dishwasher on us.