Your Monday Nighter Open Thread

Det @ Sea: The Rams upset of the Cards yesterday makes it imperative for the ‘Hawks to grab this one. (And I thought the NFC East is a mess-which it is) With Lynch out Thomas Rawls (who?) gets the ball. He’s 5’9″ and 215 lbs. and hails from Central Michigan GO CHIPPEWAS! (I guess?) Anyone mamember Melvin McLaughlin? Of course you don’t-he is only  the leading career scorer for their basketball team! After giving up more than 60 points in their first two games the Seattle D threw a zero at the Bears so they may be rounding into shape OR the Bears are going scoreless from here on out and the Seahawks got in on the ground floor. According to Pro Football Focus the Lions have the most “wave to the defensive player as he runs by and gets pressure on the QB”. (may want to tighten up that terminology a bit, PFF) I look forward to Stafford doing his best impression of a fat kid trying to avoid being run over by an ice cream truck.

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Sharkbait

I’m sorry Fred Jackson…

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Are you for real?

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Stop getting based ball in my football.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Right? I thought I had accidentally changed the channel!

Sill Bimmons

Does anyone know anything about this The Last Kingdom show starting Saturday on BBC America?

John Difool

Michael Burton…….. if that guy hit a hole any slower you’d have to use time-lapse photography to just to capture it.

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Puntkake

JustStopDude

So Peyton manning not only sings random things…he actually gets lost with a GPS in his car?

Sill Bimmons

Fucking fucking fucking fuck

King Hippo

Every coach really, really has such a hard-on for making the FB dive work.

litre_cola

They think its like fake field goal #2.
#workseverytime

JustStopDude

The other team’s defense telling you “Hey you guys suck…and you are going to suck in the next quarter” is NOT the same as predicting your playbook.

JustStopDude
John Difool

I’m not ready to say the refs in this game are blind or anything to blatant Seattle holding but they’re pretty fucking blind….

King Hippo

oh, abso-fucking-lutely

HeadBeeGuy

As long as he has the arm strength to lift a pen, so he can sign the retirement papers, yes.

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Can we get lynch to be in the next republican presidential debate?
He’d probably win

King Hippo

“I’m just here to make Bobby Jindal uncomfortable.”

blordinaryfagicmox
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I read that Ryan Leaf and Todd Marinovich are planning to start their own janitorial services company called the Legion of Broom.

When will they be in business? Beats me. When they get their shit together, I guess. So…don’t hold your breath.

John Difool

This game is gonna get out of control, it’s gonna get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it…

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

I really hope megatron just talks shit to Sherman about that dominos ad

WCS

I really hope Sherman starts talking shit to Stephen A. Smith about the jerky ad they’re in.

litre_cola

All I want is 8 points from Baldwin. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK???

Wakezilla

EIGHT POINTS from Baldwin?

Oh hunni. . .

/hugs

Sharkbait

Just offered a trade in one of my leagues. $75 for AP. I have $92. Thats crazy high right?

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Ok which Seahawk’s player’s wife will fuck Tate later?

JustStopDude
John Difool

Who is she, I must know.

blordinaryfagicmox

comment image

Sill Bimmons

She’s a sexy nerd girl whose name escapes me.

JustStopDude

Veronica Belmont

John Difool

fuckin saved

King Hippo

Hey, uh, that Rick and Morty finale was kinda dark.

BUT YAY MISTER POOPY BUTTHOLE LIKES OPIATES TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Senor Weaselo

I’m currently 3 down, but when this game goes to shit I’ll watch them.

Sill Bimmons

Poop and opiates don’t tend to go hand-in-hand, so to speak.

King Hippo

They has never impacted (hee hee, turn of phrase) me that way.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Indeed it was….As was the Strain.

King Hippo

with Leftovers in the queue, it may be Friday before I muddle my cracker ass to The Strain

JustStopDude

Awesome use of Nine Inch Nails…

Man that show has really hit its stride. I didn’t like it at first but I think its brilliant. Sure as shit better than anything by Fox.

blordinaryfagicmox

Thats the way the news goes I guess

Sill Bimmons
Wakezilla

Who is this Lily girl and how can I get to know her better?

Sill Bimmons
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Don’t get me wrong, GMC, I like that song. I just don’t think it’s a good idea to advertise a product with music that prominently features the lyrics “it’s a put on”.

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Gmc Denali vehicles (called McKinley in Ohio)

John Difool

Finally, a halfway decent anthem that didn’t sound like someone was auditioning for The Voice.

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Voice auditions go on for weeks and weeks somehow

blordinaryfagicmox
JustStopDude

https://youtu.be/oI4nnNwXIL8

Need to get in the fucking mood for football!

Sill Bimmons

Do you think Tirico has learned Muy Thai or something to protect himself from the moment when Gruden loses it and tries to beat him to death with his headset?

WCS

Homemade vindaloo for dinner. It’s actually quite good, but, I think I put too much curry in it. Not bad for a first try.

THE FUCK YOU DOIN’ BOYS (AND OCCASIONAL LADY)?!

Sill Bimmons

Vindaloo should definitely not be over curry-y.

Old School Zero

You’re gonna have fun tomorrow.

I’m gonna roast some squash.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah, Vinda Loo, Soo Lin’s Indian-born half-sister.

John Difool

Tripping on acid and watching “In the Mouth of Madness”……needless to say, turned into a bad trip pretty fast.

Mother Puncher

Getting arrested trying to sneak beer into my dorm.

Sill Bimmons

Never done ’em.

JustStopDude

Watch the movie Suicide Club from Japan…while on shrooms and drinking Southern Comfort.

Fucked me up royally something good.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Never had a worst on ‘shrooms.
Best was many years ago now. Stayed up all night watching TV and laughing my ass off. Forced everyone to stay up and watch Die Hard over and over, and explained why they should be rooting for Hans Gruber to win this time.

King Hippo

I never trusted anyone enough to go shroomin’

Now I would cause don’t give a fuck. But too old, the opportunity no longer presents itself.

Sill Bimmons

We can turn it into a web series.

Old Men In Mustangs Getting Mushrooms.

blordinaryfagicmox
JustStopDude
JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Seattle is a pretty cool city, but nah let’s just show the fish market
– ESPN producers

Doktor Zymm

Is there a non-zero probability of this game NOT being godawful?

Sill Bimmons

Technically.

John Difool
blordinaryfagicmox

Lead vocalist Michael Jackson:
comment image

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Good evening everyone

Sill Bimmons

Seattle is the only place in the world called Seattle.

litre_cola

Seattle. Sponsored by DraftKings

litre_cola

12th man, 12th man, basketball player, jesus, wilson, 12th man, pike’s market, 12th man, beef moe, 12th man. aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh

litre_cola

evening gents.

Sill Bimmons

hey

John Difool

It’s as if Seattle invented that or something.

Spanky Datass

THROW! THAT! FISH!

Sill Bimmons

If you could only have one pizza topping for the rest of your life, what would it be?

John Difool

Cocaine

King Hippo

dilaudid!

also, cheese is gross. I would prefer just sauce and ground chorizo with my dilaudid. but just dilaudid would work.

bourb0nblues

I assume cheese is a given… if not, cheese.
Otherwise, pepperoni.

JustStopDude

shrooms. They takes like shit but I would never get tired of tripping balls.

Spanky Datass

Bourbon?

Bourbon.

Sill Bimmons

Most of these are not ACTUAL pizza toppings you guys…

Spanky Datass

Pepperoni then.

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Peppers

Sill Bimmons

I thought you were Italian-Canadian.

Sill Bimmons

Ah. Your attention to detail in your sauce-making led me to believe otherwise.

Spanky Datass

I have a butt-ton of basil growing in pots right now.

Sill Bimmons

PESTO PESTO PESTO

Spanky Datass

That’s what I was thinking. I wonder if I could sub pumpkin seeds for pine nuts?

Doktor Zymm

I don’t see why not, I’ve made tasty pesto with walnuts before.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

How the fuck you doin’ boys?! First attempt at rive brogging via mobile in a bar. Wish me drunk. Luck, I mean luck.

JustStopDude

Hmmmm….I wonder if I should fan duel game draft kind this game….

Not stupid drunk enough yet. Actually…I never get stupid drunk enough…

Sill Bimmons

Please just be a good game.

JustStopDude

You expect a decent game?!?

http://i.imgur.com/bHbqoou.gif

Have at you!!!!

Sill Bimmons
JustStopDude

How is everyone? I skipped my AA meeting and went straight to the ABC store instead. Not sure if you folks are sick of hearing about my dysfunctional work stories…I got a hell of a doozy today…

Sill Bimmons

hey guys

bourb0nblues

sup

Sill Bimmons

yo

Spanky Datass

sup

i just washed the weekend dishes

Sill Bimmons

yo

i was away this weekend

blordinaryfagicmox
King Hippo

You definitely know some arcane shit from your slice of Canadia.

Spanky Datass

Canadian TV sounds strange and magical. Shame aboot the language barrier.

Wakezilla

So, the past two weekends I have gone to weddings on Saturday AND Sunday (fun fact: Both weddings on Sunday featured a groom who is a fan of the Pats since they joined the league in 2000). The last wedding basically ended with my family breaking up and my 84 year old grand mother falling down 5 stairs made of gravel and landing on concrete (miraculously, she’s only badly bruised and nothing was broken). On the plus side, my Christmas is going to be way more enjoyable not having to deal with certain family members, so that’s nice.

So . . Football Sonics win 28-10 tonight? Also, thank god I have no more weddings on Sunday because that’s some grade A bullshit.

King Hippo

The best part of living in the South is most people have the sense not to get married during football season.

The best part of being a divorced recluse is that I just refuse to go to 99.999% of all such social obligations and don’t care that people talk about hat a weirdo I am.

blordinaryfagicmox

Free hat!

blordinaryfagicmox

My only wedding thoughts:
1) Can you believe she’s wearing white?
2) That’s a pretty big dowry.
Repeat until no more invites arrive.

Senor Weaselo

Hey, weddings are decent pay for about an hour of ceremony work.

King Hippo

I didn’t re-up on booze. This decision will surely come back to haunt.

Fortunately, this game should be over by mid-1st quarter, and since it isn’t the ass end of MANDATORY 14-HOUR FOOTBAW DAY, I can go nighty night.

blordinaryfagicmox

If you have sugar and water, put some sugar in the water and invite some natural yeasties to the party. By gametime you might have something with… 0.001% alcohol by volume. But if you have a big enough volume…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck if I didn’t.
I spent the latter part of the day chasing an incontinent 97 year old around Walmart, among other places. Amazingly he did not commit vehicular homicide with those little charge up scooter thingys.

Another similar day tomorrow is on the docket, as he gets to go to the dermatologist to find out wtf is growing out of his old goddamned neck. As if anything will/should be done no matter wtf it is. FML.

So yeah, re-upped on the alkyhol on the way home, and plan to get hammered tonight.

Brocky

Last minute flex advice: Calvin Johnson or Thomas Rawls.

I don’t know why I had the foresight to put Megatron in a flex slot, but since rawls is starting, should I let the running game do its work

King Hippo

I would still roll with Megatron in PPR fo sho. Non-PPR is tough call. Then I would say Rawls is safer, Megatron if you need a monster game.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’m rolling with Rawls in my Flex over Tate. Not, the same I know, but I just don’t trust Stafford to throw the ball against good defenses. Until they get that sorted out, I don’t see a ton of upside for Megatron or any of their WR corps.
Note: I’ve already won my fantasy match up this week, so grain of salt and all that.

King Hippo

I benched Tate this week, even in PPR. I started James Jones and Crabtree at WR, and Clay (cha-ching!) at Flex. Considered Ginn and even Ty Montgomery as Crabtree substitutes, but not Tate.

But Tate is no Megatron.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’m also a Stafford owner, (this is what I get for betting the Lions would have a decent/good offense this year) so I’ve been pretty watchful of the entire offense so far this year. I think in two weeks you can start playing Lions players with confidence again as they had a really tough first six weeks against good passing D’s, but that changes quickly when they play the Bears and beyond.

And of course, Tate is no Calvin, but their production has been pretty similar so far this year.

King Hippo

True. There is a part of me that wonders if Megatron has lost that half-step that has now made him permanently mortal. Or just no longer immune to the Stafford factor.

Still had a pretty good game against Denver, though the Donks very specifically gameplanned to keep him to shorter completions and not give up the big play. Not really the Hawks’ style.

Brocky

The thing thats really sticking me is how much will johnson be targeted, and Seattle’s gameplan

Wakezilla

Rawls.

Pete Caroll called Rawls a HEAT SEEKING Missile, which means Rawls believes Jet fuel can’t melt steel. I think they’ll give him a lot of good touches and hope he can be seen as Beef Mo’s replacement next year.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“Although replacing him with a smallish guy doesn’t seem to be that smart.”

I’ll say! – Don Majkowski

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