Your Monday Nighter Open Thread

Det @ Sea: The Rams upset of the Cards yesterday makes it imperative for the ‘Hawks to grab this one. (And I thought the NFC East is a mess-which it is) With Lynch out Thomas Rawls (who?) gets the ball. He’s 5’9″ and 215 lbs. and hails from Central Michigan GO CHIPPEWAS! (I guess?) Anyone mamember Melvin McLaughlin? Of course you don’t-he is only  the leading career scorer for their basketball team! After giving up more than 60 points in their first two games the Seattle D threw a zero at the Bears so they may be rounding into shape OR the Bears are going scoreless from here on out and the Seahawks got in on the ground floor. According to Pro Football Focus the Lions have the most “wave to the defensive player as he runs by and gets pressure on the QB”. (may want to tighten up that terminology a bit, PFF) I look forward to Stafford doing his best impression of a fat kid trying to avoid being run over by an ice cream truck.

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WCS

This game is missing something…

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Wakezilla

So are the Miami Dolphins’ defense.

Senor Weaselo

“They got about 16 minutes to do something or they’ll be 0-4.” I believe it’s about 14 minutes, Jon.

Sharkbait

When the fuck did fallout boy become the go to for sports music??

John Difool

Since the NFL wore out all of their Maroon 5 and Nickleback CD’s.

litre_cola

Is Mariah Carey the replacement for Kate Hudson in the US as well? Because that is a god awful substitution.

Wakezilla

No. But she has replaced Kate Upton in that video game app

John Difool

ESPN is like my sex life because if I don’t won’t to prematurely ejaculate I just close my eyes and think of Chris Berman.

packman_jon

Statistically speaking, there is one guy who will prematurely ejaculate just by closing his eyes and thinking of Chris Berman.

John Difool

Nightmare fuel.

litre_cola

Puntkakkee?

Senor Weaselo

This game is like my sex life in that you could use those words to describe it in the loosest terms.

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Seattle could have also just drafted or signed offensive linemen

Senor Weaselo

What’s the fun of that?

Dunstan

Pete Carroll believes that college offensive lineman are Illuminati spies.

makeitsnowondem

Rawls is showing great vision and picking up a lot of yards after the veil of ignorance.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This game is like my sex life in that just when a hole opens up the play gets called back.

Horatio Cornblower

This game is like my sex life in that I’m giving up and going to bed and it’s not over yet.

Wakezilla
John Difool

Yep, that sounds about right.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Crooked as fuck? Well I never…[clutches pearls]

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Triumph of the Willson.

Moonbatting Average

This game is like my sex life because I’m online and typing with my right hand

Wakezilla

+Southpaw

makeitsnowondem

Just when I thought tonight couldn’t get any stranger.

Can someone call a Midwestern dentist to put the Lions out of their misery.

litre_cola

Chocolate chips are a very underated munchies snack

Dunstan

I, too, am known for taking shots in the situation of Matt Stafford passing.
— Every Detroit fan

Horatio Cornblower

THIS GAME I CALL IT MY SEX LIFE BECAUSE SOMEONE JUST MUFFED A PUNT!!! WAIT, I SWITCHED SOME LETTERS AROUND!!!!

John Difool

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Lothar of the Hill People

This game is just like my sex life in that somewhere nearby, someone is throwing a fish to someone else while being filmed.

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

This game is like my sex life because it’s loud in the background

I sort of wish the NFL was an uncapped, just to marvel at how Dan Synder can have a $500 million payroll and still go 6-10.

blordinaryfagicmox

Astros v. Yankees kinda shows how much a salary cap matters, dont it?

John Difool

The cap. The reason Gibbs 2.0 didn’t work.

Sharkbait

Welcome to the New York Rangers circa 1998-2003

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

He’d sign Falcao or at least get him on loan

Old School Zero

This game is just like Horatio’s sex life because he’s thinking about baseball the entire time.

Horatio Cornblower

Is that wrong?

Sharkbait

Just finished prepping a pork butt for my slowcooker for dinner tomorrow. And I see another FG. Kicks for the kicking gods!

WCS

KIKKAKKE

makeitsnowondem

THIS GAME IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY BURGERKINGS DAILY FANTASY HEART DISEASE

The Maestro

This game is like my sex life in that I missed half of it, I have no idea what’s going on, and don’t particularly care about either of the parties involved.

John Difool

This game is like my sex life because the lady I’m with….. I’m usually her 12th man…… of the evening.

WCS

This game is like my sex life because my wife is bored, and just wants it to finish.

bourb0nblues

This game is like my sex life because the crowd noise can be distracting and sometimes there’s an injury timeout.

makeitsnowondem

This game is like my sex life because my doctor says I’m not healthy enough for it.

Horatio Cornblower

This game is like my sex life in that a large black man is beating the shit out of me.

I’m Matthew McConaughey; look for me in the hilarious new movie ‘The Paperboy’, which manages to suck despite having me, John Cusack and Nicole Kidman as a nymphomaniac.

WCS
Horatio Cornblower

The pond would be good for you.

The Maestro

Chevy Chase at the end just makes this perfect GIF even more perfect.

makeitsnowondem

This game is like my sex life because I’m gonna be hurting if it lasts longer than four hours.

Sill Bimmons

DNP Priapism

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is it wrong that I want someone to hit Russell Wilson so hard they knock the Jesus right out of him?

Horatio Cornblower

No, no you are not.

Old School Zero

This game is just like my sex life in that it’s SPONSORED BY DRAFTKINGS DOT COM! YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE A TWO PUMP CHUMP ON DRAFTKINGS DOT COM, JUST HOOK UP YOUR BANK ACCOUNT AND YOU CAN GET INSTANT SATISFACTION! USE PROMO CODE BUTTPLUG!

Sill Bimmons

#BlueberryButtplug

blordinaryfagicmox
Sill Bimmons

It’s like the rarest spun heaven metal!

Or like silvery wine flowing on a spaceship, gravity all nonsense now!

Why Thank You Eddie

Where was the pic of Kaepernick? He has ZERO yards passing tonight. Pathetic.

The Maestro

Just got home from work. What’d I miss?

Horatio Cornblower

Work apparently.

WCS

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!! Oh, that was good one.

…oh, wait, you’re serious?

Martin

Dinner

Horatio Cornblower

I’m watching the World Series of Poker, (no, YOU have a gambling problem!), and there’s a big guy dressed all in Chiefs gear playing very well.

I FOUND OTTO MAN!!!!!

Martin

You’re almost free now, genie….

makeitsnowondem

I think Andy Reid would be good at poker because he never gives away his chips.

Sill Bimmons

?

makeitsnowondem

This game is like my sex life in that most of the positions don’t work.

Moonbatting Average

There’s no way you last this long

Sill Bimmons

What about the center/quarterback exchange?

John Difool

All games are like my sex life…. it’s not over until the fat lady sings…. because I’m usually on top of one.

Martin
Horatio Cornblower

I hope they have a permit for that camel.

Sill Bimmons

She might be my favorite ever.

Senor Weaselo

She did answer one of my questions on that OTHER site…

John Difool

Do you think Chris Berman will go politely and quietly to the glue factory or will ESPN have to smack him in the forehead with a sledgehammer first?

WCS

I’ll happily volunteer to do the latter.

Sill Bimmons
Martin

Air hammer.

Sill Bimmons

Watching the Top Gear RallyCross episode.

You?

Sharkbait

Philbin’s head looks like a lightly skinned skull

WCS

HALFTIME LAFFS

Horatio Cornblower

I just checked my team in Sill’s 20 team league. DTZM and I are tied with no players remaining.

DTZM is a 100% favorite to win.

I do not understand this league at all.