You just know that PK had the article all drafted, about how much of a mistake it was to give Cam Newton all that guaranteed money. How he’d obviously go “soft” without the contract to play for.
Welllll…WOMP WOMP
Superman is indeed Superman after all. 4-0 even mostly without MLB/Overseer Keuchly (they just inserted another honky into his place, so the rest of the defense would know who to address as “suh”). Even more impressively, Cam has made a deep league fantasy starter out of Ted Fucking Ginn as…ahem…somebody may have predicted in the pre-season?
Just don’t look too closely at all the other shit I predicted.
Jonathan Stewart has surprisingly stayed alive, but unsurprisingly cromulent and fantasy irelevant. Greg Olson has been mildly-to-medium disappointing as everyone’s fantasy darling breakout TE. The offensive line has been significantly better than anyone, especially me, expected. Which is to say, mediocre. Josh Norman has turned to Revis Island 2: Electric Boogaloo. It’s an interesting mix, for sure.
That said, the cake part of the schedule is over. Riverboat Ron preaches about the regular season being broken into “4 quarters” (oh, teh symmetry!!) and #2 is a doozy! Yeah, the Iggles and Humps no longer loom as large as they once did, but there’s still some latent danger. And a trip to Seattle and hosting Green Bay…no getting around being a clear underdog in both of those.
But stagger to 6-2 at the turn, and it’s a cornucopia of division foes and NFC East shittiness (Doopy’s denouement on Thanksgiving included, won’t that be fun?) left on the table. I don’t need to look at the Falcons’ schedule to compare, because they’re the Falcons so who gives a shit.
As always, the question remains whether (i) they will finish strongly enough to get a 1 or 2 seed; and/or (ii) have enough firepower to really make a deep playoff run. They most certainly have the QB to do it. We shall see about the rest.
Them beating the Seahawks and Packers in the playoffs would make me read PK again. We’ll see how their fifth quarter goes.
Ron Rivera’s Puerto Rican.
What?
After the Panthers win Super Bowl 50:
“Splendid job, Cameron. I’m having a big party Saturday. Can you make it?”
“Sounds great, Mr. Richardson – I’ll be there!”
“Come by around 7:00, enter through the back, and let Luke know you’ll be serving drinks.”
If this went down as described, Cam would be pretty pleased he’s progressed past being called “Boy” at least.
He’s not old enough to get this telephone call.
One thing I know about the teams of the NFC East is that they’ll fuck up your assumed victory as soon as look at you. That said, my guess for dem Panters is 10-6.
This is an excellent point. If you’re gonna be 3-13, you can make those three ruin someone’s day, and really that’s what the NFC East is all about for the last 15 years.
I have a sneaking suspicion that Romo will be back for the Thanksgiving game, but that’s just setting up the possibility that the Panthers will be the recipient of a rare November Romobyl!
They like their ribs broken in NC?
Blood (sauce) foar the blood gods!!
Hippo, we’re talking about NC BBQ. There is no blood. It’s all vinegar.
/Dying for any off the real BBQs
Doesn’t care if it’s Texas, NC, KC, GA, or any other really good BBQ.
Die Panthers Die!
– Confused Sherman Tank Gunner, 1944
Dead Ronson driver.
/From confusion.
Unless driving Firefly Tank.
“Now, I don’t want to discount what Cam Newton has down to this point. He’s done a reasonably good job, but I wonder if it will last. The real reason the Panthers are 4-0 at this point is undeniably the leadership and dedication injured LB Luke Kuechly has demonstrated from the sidelines, locker room, and film study. That kind of hard work has clearly inspired the rest of the team to rally around him.”
— PK, probably
I sorta figured the Painthers would divide there season into fifths and that fer some of “them” 3/5 of a seasun ekwuals a full seeson.
“Makes sense to me; measuring my evenings by fifths is what I’ve been doing for years!”
– Kyle Orton
Watching the Panther game a couple of weeks ago I discovered something PK hasn’t readily admitted to: Cam Newton throws a really nice fucking pass.
I’m actually pretty happy to root for any team whose success gives PK indigestion. So GO PANTHERS!
“I don’t need to look at the Falcons’ schedule to compare, because they’re the Falcons so who gives a shit.”
This is the kind of disrespect and punctuation errors that epitomize true conference hate.
HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE